Chapter 24 #2
For a second, I think Robbie might punch something. Or tell me off for being a fucking hypocrite. But Thom jumps up with a grin and, way too much like Quinn, enthusiastically signs, ‘PAH!’
I snort and kiss Dex one more time before standing upright and grabbing Robbie by the wrist, pulling him toward the back door. It slides open, and we step into the afternoon, the sun warm but the breeze cool.
Robbie flops into one of the patio chairs and stares across the grass toward the small lake. I can see a few geese waddling around, but Robbie doesn’t let me distract myself for long.
He kicks me in the shin and points to the chair, so I sit.
‘Go on,’ I urge at his stillness. ‘Tell me what an asshole I am.’
He stares for a long, long time. ‘Are you messing with him?’
My chest aches that he would ever believe that about me, even if it’s fair. I shake my head. ‘No.’
‘You love him?’
I swallow heavily. ‘I haven’t told him that yet.’ His arms and hands tense to reply, so I quickly add, ‘But I will. After everything calms down.’
Robbie sinks back into his chair and drags his fingers around his mouth and down his chin—his nervous thinking habit. ‘I want you to be happy.’
‘I am.’
‘I didn’t think it would be with Dex, but it makes sense.’
God, does it really? I feel like I’m still trying to figure out why it feels so perfect. That someone else could see it before makes me a little uncomfortable.
‘He’s a good person,’ Robbie adds.
‘I understand I wasn’t handling what happened to me with John in the most healthy way,’ I tell him. ‘I hurt you. I hurt Dex.’
Robbie cocks his head to the side. He says nothing, so I don’t know if he knows that Dex and I had been circling each other for so long.
‘We’ve moved past it,’ I eventually add.
He nods, then bites his lip. ‘I’m going to ask Thom to marry me.’
Months ago, that would have gutted me with envy. Now, I just feel quietly happy for my friend. ‘He’ll say yes.’
Robbie laughs and rolls his eyes. ‘I know. I was going to wait, but thanks to the fire…’ He trails off, his fingers hovering in the air for a bit. ‘Maybe it’ll make him feel better.’
I’m not there yet. I’m not going to propose to Dex just to help his stress levels or feelings. But I can do something. I can be good to him. I can make him forget every relationship he’s ever had before me.
Robbie reads something on my face and laughs again. ‘You’ll be next.’
I pull a face. I’ve never been a marriage guy. I don’t know that I am now. But I might be a forever kind of guy. If it involves Dex.
The door slides open, and Thom appears, looking haggard. ‘Ready to go?’
Robbie nods and stands up, walking over to me and yanking me into a long hug. He breathes heavily against me and pulls back. ‘I’m happy for you,’ he mouths.
I nod. Hugging him feels different now. Better. Kinder. Like it means something. Thom comes in next without hesitation. He’s always been affectionate, even when I was a raging asshole to him, and I know I owe him for being such an asshole to him.
He hums as he squeezes me, the rumble heavy in his chest. He lifts me a few inches off the ground, then drops me to my feet and pulls back. ‘Thank you for taking care of my brother. He needs it.’
‘I know. I won’t stop.’
Thom’s face softens, and he holds out his hand for Robbie, who takes it. The moment feels both tense and still as they leave, and I look at the door, debating if I want to go back inside, but Dex appears a moment later and wraps around me.
It’s so easy to hold him. So easy to tilt his face up and kiss him until he goes loose and pliant against me. So easy to pull him into my lap as I drop onto one of his loungers and stretch out beneath him.
‘Thom is happy for us,’ he tells me after a long while. He bites his lip, then raises the first finger of both hands to his lips and makes the sign for ‘Pah!’ and wriggles his first finger like a question.
‘Denver didn’t teach you?’
He shrugs. ‘Finally? At last?’ He spells those words for clarification.
I nod. ‘I guess we were obvious. I didn’t know.’
He snorts a laugh and leans in to steal a fast kiss from the corner of my mouth. ‘I knew. I didn’t want to tell you in case it made you run away.’
‘Wow,’ I sign, and he laughs harder. I don’t actually mind. I’ve been accused of having my head up my ass a lot, and most people weren’t wrong. ‘Do you mind?’
He gives me an incredulous look. ‘No.’
“Good,” I say aloud.
He reaches up and touches my lips with the tips of his fingers. ‘Why speak now?’
I shrug. “Your language is important too. And I know how.”
‘Better than Robbie,’ he tells me.
I puff up at that. Not that I give verbal speech a lot of credit, but I do like being better than Robbie at most things. And it makes Dex laugh.
I settle back and look at him as he perches on my thighs. “I took speech therapy for years when I was young.”
‘You always Deaf?’
I nod. “Born that way,” I continue speaking. “My dad’s family has a gene. My grandfather had it. Skipped my dad. But he learned French sign growing up. Learned ASL for me.”
‘Denver says that’s rare.’
I grimace and switch back to sign. ‘It is. A lot of hearing parents don’t learn sign. Most dads don’t even try. I have a good one.’
‘I want to meet him.’
‘He wants to meet you,’ I answer back. ‘I was telling him about you before I heard about the fire.’
He winces briefly, then settles. ‘I don’t think I could’ve done this without you.’
I shake my head quickly. ‘You’re strong. Brave. Smart. Perfect.’
‘Too much.’
‘No,’ I argue back. I lick my lips, then say aloud, “Dex. You are important to me. And I know you could do this on your own. But thank you for letting me be here.”
Something in him snaps, and he pins me to the lounger, kissing me until I can’t breathe and my dick is half-hard, my toes are curling in my socks. He kisses me for all I’m worth. And then so much more that I’m in debt.
I don’t care. I want this.
I want him.
‘What happens now?’ he asks when he pulls away.
‘With us?’
He shrugs, then nods. ‘With us.’
‘I still have to work on my A+…’
“Oh my god,” I see him say aloud, and he smacks my chest. ‘We are over that!’
‘No,’ I tell him, sniffing and lifting my nose into the air. ‘I want my A+.’
He rolls his eyes so hard he probably pulls something. ‘Fine. You can work on your A+. After I get the gym stuff handled.’
‘I’ll be here whenever you’re ready,’ I promise him, the weight of truth heavy on my hands. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
His smile widens, eyes soften, and then he leans back in to take another desperate kiss.