Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
ROME
Because of the fire, the move, and meeting my dad, I wasn’t able to accept Lexi’s offer of aquarium tickets for the event. I was feeling vaguely panicked because nothing in the world sounded more romantic than that.
And then I got a DM I wasn’t expecting from someone called ThatDeafTurtleGuy.
It didn’t take an expert to know that was Lexi’s brother.
ThatDeafTurtleGuy: Lexi told me about your date problem. I have a solution.
Me: Tell me.
ThatDeafTurtleGuy: I can reserve you a private slot tomorrow night at seven. I’ll be there doing research so I can keep everything on. There won’t be food, but if you want to bring a picnic, you can sit in the aquarium tunnel and eat and watch the fish.
I could have cried.
Me: Thank you. Your name?
ThatDeafTurtleGuy: LOL sorry. Rennick. But use Ren. Easier to sign.
I take a quick peek at his profile. He looks like a proper nerd with several videos of him in a lab coat and thick, black-framed glasses. He has two very bright green cochlear implants too, the processor magnets painted like turtle shells.
He does his videos in voice and sign—at least, I think he does. Or maybe he’s using voice-over. Either way, he seems right at home, waist-deep in a rehab pool, surrounded by sea turtles.
I let him know that we’re in, so he sends me the info along with the gate code and tells me to be there by six forty-five so he can get everything set up.
Now it’s just a matter of making sure I can get Dex to go with me without spoiling the surprise.
It doesn’t take much to get Dex to pass off his late-night spin class with my fingers in his ass. When I did that—when I found that spot that made Dex see stars—he agreed to anything.
‘Aquarium,’ Dex spells as we reach the gate. He looks very unsure. ‘It’s closed.’
‘I know. Trust me,’ I tell him. He looks even more worried when we bypass the entrance and head toward the employee gate. He taps me on the shoulder, but I sign a quick ‘Wait’ at him as I open my window and lean over to punch the code.
He taps me harder as the gate slides open, and I glide past it. ‘What is happening? How did you get the gate code?’
‘Trust,’ I sign again.
He shakes his head as I find a spot next to what I think is most likely Ren’s car, considering it has turtle stickers all over the back. When I turn the engine off, I twist to face him, and he looks pissed.
‘Do you not like the aquarium?’ I ask, feeling suddenly unsure of myself. This was supposed to earn me points, damn it. This was meant to be my A+.
‘I love the aquarium. But this is weird. How did you do this? Are we going to end the night in jail?’
I roll my eyes and then tell him, ‘Secret.’ He looks more annoyed than anything. ‘I promise to tell you when it’s over. No jail.’
I’m honestly surprised Lexi didn’t spill her guts, and I’m guessing that’s proof she’s really on our side about this relationship. Or, at the very least, she believes I can make Dex truly happy.
And fuck if I don’t plan to.
After a long beat, Dex relaxes and shrugs. ‘Fine. But I want all the answers once it’s over.’
‘Promise,’ I tell him, then lean in and kiss him on the jaw. I feel the whisper of his sigh against my cheek as he turns his head to capture my mouth, and we take a moment to make out like teenagers until I realize time’s wasting.
‘Come on. You can help me carry the bags,’ I say as we step out. Popping the trunk, I wave my hand like, ‘Ta-da!’ I have a thick blanket, a cooler backpack full of drinks, and a small tote with the sub sandwiches. It made sense to go simple because neither of us is particularly fancy.
Dex frowns but hooks the cooler backpack over his shoulder while I take the tote and the blanket. He follows behind, and as we approach the side door, it opens, and the nerdy turtle guy without his lab coat steps out.
His face breaks out into a huge smile, and I see his mouth move around my boyfriend’s name. “Dex!”
I look over to see Dex say, “Ren!” smiling back.
What the fuck?
Well, I guess it makes sense they know each other, but I don’t like the way they’re smiling and hugging. In fact, it’s making me itchy how tightly Dex holds him.
I clear my throat loudly, and they both break apart. Ren looks slightly embarrassed. ‘Sorry. You must be Rome.’
Lexi clearly shared my sign name because he uses it correctly.
‘Yes. Nice to meet you.’ I probably don’t look happy because he shifts from foot to foot, and Dex steps closer to me.
That’s better. Marginally.
I look from one to the other. Did they date? Did Dex like him after he and Lexi didn’t work out? Was there a thing that got interrupted because I came back from Paris, and—
‘How do you two know each other?’ Dex asks, interrupting my thought spiral.
Ren smiles wider. ‘Lexi told me he wanted to surprise you with something romantic, so I got permission for you two to use the aquarium for the night.’
Dex’s eyes go wide. ‘Seriously?’
I shrug. ‘I was going to tell you about it, but I thought this would be more fun as a surprise.’
Dex abandons all propriety and leans in, kissing me hard. ‘Thank you,’ he signs as he steps back. ‘I love the aquarium. Ren and his girlfriend—’ He stops abruptly. ‘Sorry. Ex.’
Ren shrugs and shakes his head. ‘It’s fine.’
Dex still looks apologetic. ‘They worked together here. She got transferred, and he and I used to hang out while he was sad and getting over it.’
I breathe a little easier. Him having a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s not into Dex. I mean, how can you not be into my boyfriend? He’s hot as fuck. But it’s clear the guy’s still nursing a broken heart, so I feel safe.
‘Come inside,’ Ren says, beckoning us through the door. ‘I can’t stay with you. I have to monitor my screens, but if you need anything, just text. You can go anywhere that the doors are open and the lights are on.’
We reach the end of the long hallway, and past the door is an aquarium corridor. Stepping in feels weird. Almost wrong, like we’re breaking rules. But Dex follows, and Ren gives us a quick nod and then closes the door behind us. I can feel the vibrations of it under my feet.
And now we’re alone.
‘Is there music playing?’ I ask.
Dex shakes his head. ‘No. There’s usually not.’
Weird. Seems like a place where music should play, but whatever. Reaching out my hand, I take it and then realize I have no idea where to go. I looked at the interactive map, but I’ve never actually been here before.
Shit. I’m not going to get an A+ if I didn’t fucking study.
Dex is smirking at me, clearly reading my dilemma off my face. ‘Where do you want to go?’
I sigh. ‘Take me to your favorite spot.’
He lights up, and I feel my chest loosen. Yep, I made the right decision with that. Squeezing my fingers, he tugs me to the left, down a dim hallway with huge glass walls. Behind it, fish are swimming in what looks like faux pillars of a dock.
The fish aren’t that interesting. They’re brown and kind of boring, though I have a feeling Ren probably thinks they’re fascinating.
Dex isn’t looking back at me, so he doesn’t notice as he tugs me around the corner and into a room with neon-lit tubes. I take a second to realize the floating creatures inside are jellyfish.
I make a noise, and he stops, glancing back at me. ‘Wow.’
He nods. ‘Cool, right? I could sit in here for hours and watch them. It’s like meditating.’
‘Is this your favorite spot?’
He smiles and shakes his head, then pulls me around another corner and then into a huge, narrow tunnel. We’re in a bubble inside a giant aquarium. Above us, there are stingrays swimming by and brighter-colored fish.
‘Here?’
He smiles. ‘No. But this is nice.’
We walk through it, slower this time, as I watch a huge shark swim past. I probably should come here more often, though I’m not sure it would be as peaceful when it’s full of people and small, chaotic children.
When we reach the end, he turns the corner, and the room there is much, much darker. It takes my eyes a second to adjust, but before it does, all I can see is a floor-to-ceiling glass wall that has to hold millions of gallons of water.
Beyond the glass are two huge sea turtles and massive sharks twisting through the depths. We creep a little closer, and my eyes catch on the tropical fish, bright blues and yellows swimming in schools.
The glow from the aquarium lights up the floor in front of the glass, and it’s then my eyes adjust enough to see steps—almost like theater seating.
Dex looks back at me. He’s lit up from the aquarium lights, a soft blueish hue on his face. He’s fucking angelic. Beautiful in ways I can’t really describe.
And I don’t really want to. I don’t want anyone to know. I want this part of him to be mine.
He steps close. ‘Here.’
I glance around us, then grab the blanket and lay it on the floor. He stands by watching, giving the cooler pack over to me when I make grabby hands for it, and then I empty the tote.
It takes too long, but eventually, I have the food and drinks spread out, and he kneels next to me. He slides down carefully onto his ass and scoots closer until our knees are touching.
‘I love this.’ He doesn’t say love though. He uses kiss-fist. ‘This is the best date ever.’
‘Don’t grade me yet. Wait until it’s over,’ I tell him.
He smiles and shakes his head, even as he lifts a hand to sign, ‘Okay.’
The floor isn’t very comfortable. It’s carpeted, but there’s concrete beneath it, and the blanket isn’t much of a cushion. He doesn’t make a face or complain though.
Instead, he takes his sandwich and bites into it and makes a face like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
‘I didn’t make it,’ I say when he looks at me. He rolls his eyes, and I shrug. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d care that much.’
‘I don’t.’ He sets his sandwich down, now half-gone, and looks at me. ‘How did you come up with this idea?’
‘Lexi,’ I tell him. ‘Denver told me to ask her for help planning a date.’
‘You asked my ex,’ he states, ‘to help you plan a date with me?’
Yeah. His ex. It was weird, but also, it wasn’t. ‘I understand she’s important. Your best friend.’
He shakes his head. ‘You’re my best friend.’
‘Boyfriend,’ I correct.
He goes onto his knees and creeps closer. “Yes,” he says aloud, and I read off his lips. He’s close enough and the room is quiet enough that I can make out the sound of his voice. It’s a low rumble. “But you are both,” he says and signs that last part.
Something cracks in my chest, flooding it with an emotion I have never felt in my life.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to scream and laugh.
I want to pin him to the ground and fuck him senseless.
Security cameras be damned. I want to bury my face in his neck and breathe in his scent and never let him go.
I was not meant for feelings like this, but I can’t stop them.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks.
I take a breath, then nod. ‘I’m okay. I feel so much when I’m with you, and it scares me. But I like it.’
His eyes and lips soften. ‘This is a good date.’
‘How good?’
He laughs. ‘It’s not over yet. Ask me at the end of the night. No,’ he amends quickly. ‘Ask me tomorrow morning.’
I shiver and nod. Shifting back, I let my back rest against one of the massive carpeted concrete steps, and Dex sits between my legs, his back to my chest. We don’t do this often.
It’s possible to talk like this, but it’s never easy.
This moment, though, it doesn’t need conversation. Not yet. I’m content with the feeling of him pressed against me. I squeeze my thighs around his ribs and he takes my hands, playing with my fingers as we watch the two turtles circle each other.
After a beat, he points and twists his body slightly sideways so I can see both hands. ‘Ren rescued those two.’
‘Alone?’
He laughs and shakes his head. ‘Research team,’ he spells. ‘It was four years ago. He and his ex together.’
‘Must have been painful.’
Dex nods. ‘He was a wreck when we met.’
‘Did you two…’ My fingers still. I don’t want to ask the question because I don’t want to know. It’s only fair, of course. He knows all about me and Robbie. But still…
‘No,’ he tells me after a beat. ‘Never. He’s not my type. I was too hung up on you. Waiting for you. The other guys were strangers from the club. Never knew their names. Never wanted to because they weren’t you.’
I bow my head, feeling a small spark of shame because goddamn it, I hate that I hurt him in the past. I hate that I thought what I did to him didn’t matter.
Dex turns around in my arms and hooks his legs over my thighs. ‘Stop making that face. I’m happy.’
‘I wish it could be different.’
He shakes his head. ‘No. We are perfect now. If it happened earlier, maybe it would be less perfect. You needed time. I needed time.’
He’s probably right, though I resent those years wasted so far away.
‘Kiss me,’ I tell him.
He does, easy and not at all careful, and I hum softly against his lips as I taste his tongue and smell the scent of his soap. I want this to be my forever.
‘This,’ he signs, ‘date. A+.’
‘You said to ask in the morning!’
He laughs and kisses my wrist. ‘I know. But I want to say it now. It’s perfect.’
‘Don’t say that unless you mean it,’ I warn. ‘Not because you feel sorry for me.’
He laughs and shakes his head, then moves in closer. ‘Perfect date. No notes.’
Elation rushes through me, and I can’t stop myself. ‘PAH!’ Finally.
He bursts into laughter and rolls his eyes. ‘I wasn’t that hard on you.’
Leaning in, I take him by the front of the shirt and pull him close. ‘You were a very tough teacher. I worked hard.’
His eyes soften. ‘Yes,’ his hands agree. ‘You did. I’m proud of you.’
I breathe a little easier. And then I kiss him a little harder than last time. I still don’t think I want marriage. I don’t want any of that conventional bullshit. I want us to be…us.
To be exactly as we are.
‘Let’s adopt another cat. Together,’ I add, immediately getting ahead of myself.
He bursts into laughter. ‘If you want Milo to terrify you, okay. All we have to do is walk in, and he will give us one by force.’
I snort. ‘Yes. I want something that’s ours.’
‘The condo is ours,’ he tells me. ‘Dennis is ours. The bed is ours. The couch, the kitchen, the chairs…’
I make a noise to stop him. ‘Okay, I get it.’
He ignores me. ‘The patio furniture is ours. The coffee table is ours. The macrame thing Thom got me is ours. The…’
I lean forward and drop him carefully, pinning him to the floor. “You made your point,” I say aloud.
He shakes his head and picks up one of my hands and puts it on his chest, over the beat of his heart. Then he lays his own hand on mine.
“Ours,” he says as I read the word off his lips. He lifts his other hand and signs it for good measure.
I nod, then kiss him.
This moment, this life, it belongs to us.