Chapter 21 - Ilana
The apartment smelled like fresh paint and borrowed kindness.
It was small, too small to pace properly, but clean, quiet, and mercifully empty of memories that weren’t already lodged in my chest. It only had one bedroom and a narrow kitchen. A couch was placed in the lounge that looked like it had been slept on too many times to ask questions.
I dropped my bag by the door and stood there, staring. This was it.
Not the life I had imagined. Not the escape I needed.
Just survival. At least this was better than going back to my brothers.
I could not even think about that. My phone buzzed with a message from Elisse Chernykh.
The one person I had called right after Avgust had kicked me out.
The only person who felt safe enough to trust in that moment.
Did you get there safely? Her message read.
I sank onto the couch and pressed call before I could think better of it. She answered on the first ring.
“Hey,” her soft voice came through the other end.
My throat tightened. “Thank you, Elisse. For everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” she replied. “You needed somewhere safe to stay, and this apartment is Chernykh property, so I can assure you it’s as safe as any place can get.”
I swallowed. “I really didn’t want to involve you, but I had no one else I could even think about going to. Thank you for finding a place for me on such short notice.”
“If it were up to me, I would bring you into the Chernykh house since you are obviously a Chernykh now. But with the revelation of your real identity, things will be slightly complicated here as well. I am not sure how Iosif will react to things once he finds out, even though I know you are not at fault here.”
“I am,” I said, “I should have told Avgust the truth from the very beginning. I lied to him.”
Silence stretched between us, thick but not uncomfortable.
“He won’t talk to me,” I said.
Elisse didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Avgust is stubborn. It will take him some time to talk to you, but one thing I know is that he will come back.”
“I don’t think he will. He thinks I betrayed him, and he hates me now. And I can’t even blame him for it. He is completely right about everything he is accusing me of. I should have thought before lying to him about something as big as this.”
Her voice gentled. “He’s… not in a good place right now.”
“And all of that is my fault.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I know,” I whispered. “But it is my fault. I know this much at least.”
I rubbed my eyes, the exhaustion catching up now that adrenaline had burned out.
It had been a few hours since I had been out on the streets, but thankfully, Elisse had come through.
“I never meant to lie to him. I just did not know what to do. Every choice I made felt like the wrong one, and I had nowhere to go. I had finally decided to tell him everything today, but then he found out for himself.”
“I believe you,” Elisse said immediately.
The tears came then. Quiet and humiliating. I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to keep them contained.
“He thinks I used him,” I said. “That I stayed there to spy on him and your family.”
Elisse swore under her breath. “Did he actually say that?”
“He did,” I replied, sobbing softly. I had never been unreasonably emotional, but the entire situation was making me cry a lot.
“That’s not fair.”
“Fair doesn’t matter,” I said. “He doesn’t want me. He made that very clear. He told me I was dead to him and I should never show him my face again.”
She hesitated. “Do you want me to talk to him?”
Hope flared in my chest, traitorous and sharp. “Do you think he will listen?”
“I don’t know, Ilana,” she admitted honestly.
“But I can try. I saw how happy he was with you when the two of you came for dinner, and looking at you together made me feel like you were meant for each other. I don’t want something so beautiful to go to waste, and if for this to work out, I have to talk to him, I will. ”
I nodded even though she could not see me.
“If he does listen to you, I would be forever grateful if you talk to him. Please. Just tell him… tell him that I never told anything to my brothers. Not even once. I only called one of my brothers once, and that too was because I wanted to confirm if they were involved in the Bratva. After I got the confirmation, I asked them to stay away from me and not to come looking for me. They found me on their own.”
“I will, Ilana. Please take care of yourself. And call me if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Elisse.”
When the call ended, the apartment felt emptier. I curled onto the couch and allowed myself to break completely. I had no idea I had fallen so deeply in love with Avgust Chernykh that his absence almost made it impossible for me to breathe.
***
The gallery-come-art shop smelled like dust and oil paint.
It was the same place where Avgust had taken me on one of our dates.
The same creaky floorboards and the same elderly owner who had smiled at me like he too understood that art held magic.
It had been two weeks since Avgust had kicked me out, and I finally had the time to come to terms with it.
It was still just as hard, but I was thinking practically now.
And the first thing I knew was that I needed money.
I carried the painting under my arm as I walked inside, my gaze falling on the multiple art pieces in the windows.
All of them were beautiful, each carrying the scent of the painter.
The painting I was carrying was one he had thrown away.
It was abstract, light breaking through shadow, gold bleeding into blue.
It was hope fighting darkness. I had painted it late one night, barefoot on cold tile while Avgust slept peacefully.
I wondered if he had ever known it was about him. Most of them were.
I no longer felt hopeful about anything.
But that didn’t matter. Despite all of it, I had to battle myself to sell this painting.
These were the only things I was left with now that Avgust was gone from my life.
I had nothing but these memories to cherish, and if I began selling these paintings as well, then I would be left with nothing. Avgust would disappear completely.
But I did not have a choice. Not when I needed money.
“Hey,” I greeted the old man, who smiled at me thoughtfully.
“Hello, my dear. How can I help you?” he asked, still kind.
“I was wondering if you could help me sell this painting or perhaps buy it for your shop,” I said, keeping the canvas before him.
The man studied it for a long moment. “You made this, my dear?”
I nodded.
“It’s good,” he said quietly. “Very good if I am being honest.”
Relief flooded me, but it was brief and fragile.
“The only problem is, if I keep it in the shop, I am not sure when it will sell, and I can’t pay you much.”
“That’s fine,” I smiled tightly, already knowing it was going to be a problem. Selling art was already difficult, and selling art by unknown artists was even harder.
Before the owner could say anything else, the door chimed behind me and opened. I turned around, my eyes falling on a very familiar face. The last face I wanted to see in the moment.
“I knew you would come here.”
My blood turned to ice. Fyodor.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, sighing.
I turned back towards the old man, wanting to get out of the shop and away from Fyodor as quickly as possible.
I wanted nothing to do with my brothers.
Not after what they had caused me. I could not risk Avgust finding out that I had been seen with them and only becoming even more firm in his belief that I had betrayed him.
“Sir,” I addressed the owner, “Here is my name and number. If the painting sells, can you please call me? I will come and collect the money.”
“I will do just that, dear. And if you ever want the painting back, you can come whenever.”
“Thank you so much.”
Fyodor’s eyes flicked to my face and then to the painting, something registering in his mind. I walked out of the shop, and he followed behind me, stopping in the cobbled street. His expression had hardened but his gaze still held concern for me. He had been the one I had been the closest to.
“Why are you selling your painting?” he asked.
“My life is none of your business, Fyodor.”
“He kicked you out after he found out you were a Romanov, didn’t he?” Fyodor asked, getting straight to the problem.
“None of that is your business. I told you to stay away from me and not come looking for me. Then what the hell are you doing here?”
“You disappeared.”
“I disappeared months ago, and none of you came looking, so don’t pretend like you care now. I am done with you. All of you. Please leave me alone.”
He stepped closer. “You ran off with a Bratva man, Ilana.”
“Ran off? Is that what you think?” I scoffed. “That Bratva man saved my life, and you don’t get to judge anyone for being a Bratva man when your own hands are stained with blood.”
“Saved your life? What do you mean?”
“I don’t believe this. You still don’t know?
” I asked. “I was kidnapped, Fyodor, and was being sold off at an auction. Avgust was there accidentally, and he bought me from there. He saved my life. He helped me get better. He married me for protection. He was there for me when none of you were, and he has done more for me in the past few months than any of you can ever do.”
“And yet he kicked you out the moment he found out your surname,” Fyodor replied, his jaw hardening.
“And who are you to judge that? He did the right thing. He kicked out a woman who had lied to him. Had I told him the truth since day one, none of this would have happened. I only lied to him to protect you all, but I should never have even tried. None of you deserved it.”
“Come home, Ilana. Your place is in the Romanov house beside your brothers. Whatever happened in the past can be treated like a distant memory now. I want you home.”
“No.”
“This isn’t a request, I am afraid. You don’t have him beside you to fight your battles, and you definitely cannot fight them alone. Not against me.”
“You have lost—”
A gunshot cracked through the air before I could complete my sentence, and Fyodor staggered.
Blood bloomed across his chest, my eyes widening in horror.
I tried to look where the bullet had come from, but it didn’t matter in the moment.
Fyodor was losing blood and consciousness quickly.
The world tipped sideways as he hit the floor, my name torn from his lips as chaos erupted all around us.
And somewhere, deep in my chest, I knew.
Nothing would ever be the same again. But right now, I needed help.
I needed Avgust.