Chapter 19 - Adrian #2
“Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what kind of father I am!” he snarls angrily. “I took care of her on my own! I made sure she had food on the table! I…”
“Shut up and listen to me. You drink too much. You gamble too much. You are drowning in debt. You stink of failure and stale cigarettes. Go and stand in front of a fucking mirror and take a hard look at yourself, Ricardo. Tell me you are proud of yourself. I dare you!”
“So, what the fuck, man? Yeah, I drink, I gamble. It’s not out of control!”
“It is out of control!” I snap. “How blind are you?”
“Ok, ok, ok,” he laughs dryly. “No, you’re right. I do need to sort my life out. How about this? You can settle all my debts for me, and then once that’s done, I’ll stop gambling. I swear it. Never again,” he says excitedly.
I sigh heavily, not blind to his opportunistic attempt to swindle me.
“Ricardo, no one can force you to be a better man. But I saw how much its broke Athena to stand at her mother’s grave the other day.
She needed someone to talk to. She didn’t come to you; she went to her dead mother.
Her mother, whom she hardly knew because she was too young, but a mother whom she will seek advice from before going to talk to her father, who is alive.
It shocked me. And it broke my heart. She wants a parent.
She wants someone she can look up to, and right now she’s choosing your dead wife over you as her guidance and support in life,” I say.
He’s so quiet on the other end of the phone that I think he might have hung up.
“Ricardo?” I say, annoyed.
“I’m here.” His voice is subdued. He sounds disarmed. “Did she really go to her mother’s grave?”
“Yes. She goes there whenever she feels overwhelmed and needs to reflect or find answers.”
“She never came to me or spoke to me about important things,” he sighs.
“How could she? You were drunk. And if you weren’t drunk, you found a way to use your connection with her to get something from her. Money. Things to sell.”
He sighs softly, falling quiet again.
I wait, listening to his breathing, my foot tapping against the floor to dispel the agitation I feel just having to talk to this guy.
“When her mother died, I lost everything.”
He sounds shattered. Broken. “That woman was my entire world. She was my life. My heart. My love. And she left me alone with a baby. Athena was only two men. I didn’t know what to do with a baby!
And I was destroyed. I lost my love… at first, the gambling was just something to take my mind off the pain.
A little here. A little there. I won. I lost. It was exciting. ”
He sighs. I wait.
“It spiraled quickly, though. Because I was too numb to make rational decisions, it was easier to gamble than to deal with a kid on my own. I made sure she was ok. She was always ok. But she wasn’t my first priority.
The gambling was,” he confesses. “The debts start piling up very fast. I was drowning in them. I got an offer from a guy. I had no idea what the mafia was about, but it seemed like a good job, quick money. You know, once they suck you in, you can never get out. That was years ago, man, and since then I haven’t been out of debt.
I failed my daughter. I am still failing her.
My wife would be furious with me if she could see me now.
She would be so fucking disappointed in me.
I do need to get out of this debt. I can’t believe I’m still in debt,” he sighs.
“Because every time you earn something, you throw it back into gambling,” I mutter without pity for the old guy. But I have to admit that I’m impressed that he’s able to reflect like this.
Ricardo huffs, sounding like he’s trying to push overwhelming emotions away. “What can I do? All I know is this fucking world. I know it’s a shit hole. I know these places I go to are shit holes. What do I do, man? How do I fix this?”
I press my fingers against my temple. I don’t want to be played, and I am fully aware that he is an expert manipulator. But if he is serious this time, if he really wants to change, then I need to help him only for Athena’s sake because I will do anything for that girl literally.
“Let’s meet up and have a talk,” I sigh.
“Really?” Ricardo says, sounding hopeful. “You’ll help me?”
“Ye, we can discuss it. But I swear if you try anything…one lie, one fuck up, one hint at manipulation… this is the last chance I’m giving you, Ricardo.”
“I hear you. I won’t fuck this up. I want to change.”
“Alright. Saturday morning. Meet me for breakfast at Blue Lake Diner. You’d better arrive showered and sober. Pull yourself together, man. This is the choice you have to make.”
“I’ll be there. I swear I’ll be there.”
I end the call skeptical about his ability to change. But at least I am trying. All of this is for her. I want her to be happy. I want her to have everything in this world, including a father, but not if he’s going to drain her.
***
On Friday night, I’m watching a movie downstairs. The television is on, the fire is going, but in all honestly, I have no idea what’s going on in the movie.
The flicker lights of action scenes splash over the living room walls, and I stare blankly, lost in thought.
Athena is sitting next to me. I apologized to her yesterday.
We had a long talk. I tried to explain why I was being overbearing and controlling, and I told her I was trying to fix it.
She softened somewhat toward me, not fighting with me as much.
Her patience is overwhelming. She glances at me, feeling my eyes on her. A soft smile touches her lips.
“You, ok?” she asks.
“Sure, yeah, just tired,” I say. I’m not tired.
My head is flooded with a thousand thoughts.
Tomorrow I am meeting her father. I didn’t tell her about the meeting because I didn’t want to burden her.
Especially not if he’s going to use it as a chance to get money instead of getting his life together.
I need to gauge his input before I give her any hope.
“Do you want to go to bed?” she asks with concern. “You look worried about things?”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Let’s finish the movie,” I say, wrapping my arm around her.
My phone buzzes with a call, and I pick it up to check the screen. Antonio. “Sorry, give me a second,” I say, swiping across to answer as I stand up to take the call out of the room.
“Boss, we have an issue.”
I groan. “What is it now?”
“Ricardo Mendelez is dead.”
His words hit me like a punch in the gut.
“When?” I ask stiffly.
“Not sure. I got the reports a few moments ago. His body was found in a back alley behind one of the downtown casinos. It looks like his habits caught up with him. All I know is that it happened at some point in the last twenty-four hours because he was seen alive and well yesterday evening. Looks like the typical shake down. Brutal though. Broken legs, broken arms, severely beaten. They used him to send a message to whoever else doesn’t pay their debts on time… that’s the vibe I get from it all.”
“You sure it’s him?”
“I haven’t seen the body myself, but it was a reliable source.”
I sigh heavily, pressing my fingers into my eyes to try and push away the growing migraine.
“I need to know who did this. I can’t have his daughter finding out until we have answers for her.
She deserves to know who did this to her father.
Also, I want to know whether she is in any danger.
Sometimes these loan sharks think they can pass the debt from the parent to the kids.
Inherited. Whether the kid was involved or not. ”
“I’ll find out everything I can. But it’s going to take time,” he says.
“I know. Just... do it as quickly as you can.”
The call ends, and I stand in the dark hallway staring at the wall. Fuck. This is bad news. This is seriously fucking bad news. I glance toward the flickering lights spilling from the living room. I can’t face telling her. Not yet. Not until I have answers.
She’s been through so much. I need to protect her from this.