31. Paige
31
Paige
D ear Rhodes,
I’m not dead.
Sorry. That was an intense way to start.
I’m stranded.
This isn’t the good kind where I can binge a show or book series while eating my weight in Goldfish and Sour Patch Kids. It’s the kind where I tell you all of the important things I can’t say to your face and may not be able to until I’m home. So, if I die, this is goodbye…
Sorry! I’ll stop mentioning death.
To my point, I love you.
I love you, Rhodes. I love you so much, I don’t know what to do with all of this feeling . It’s bigger than the volume of my person, and I’m starting to wonder how I’ve fit it inside of me for so long, lying dormant but still there. Because that’s how long I think I’ve loved you—a long damn time.
It’s new and BIGGER than it was, but it’s also ravenous like a bear searching for food after a long winter. I was supposed to tell you this before, but here I am, writing it out for you to read too many business days from now. But I can’t wait. I can’t keep this information inside me any longer.
I love you.
I always have. You know this. But this is the kind of love that has changed. Maybe you’re not all that surprised, and maybe I’m not either, because the kind of love we’ve always had has been built on mutual respect, kindness, and the enjoyment of each other. We were already there in so many ways that matter.
But now, we have an extra layer. An extra dose of love I can’t wait to explore.
I love my best friend. I love you .
I love how you’re the one who can put a smile on my face when I’m grumpy and how you always cover your eyes when I’m changing like the honorable man you are. I love that you drive a small car, touting gas mileage and turning radius in your passionate tirades. I love that you always have treats for Cleo and take a day off to go to the vet with me. I love how you’ve always been mine but without the label.
How you persisted through every boyfriend or fling I’ve had is beyond me because now that I’ve made it to this other side of love, there isn’t a chance in hell I could have done it.
I love how much you’ve loved me.
I’m so ready to start this new phase of our love because you’ll always be mine, and I’ll always be yours.
Love always,
Paige