Chapter Six
I can’t sleep that night. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too wound up over the upcoming journey or if it’s because of what happened earlier with Invictis. Or, hell, if it’s thanks to me not being able to cast any magic. Maybe it’s a combination of all three.
It’s well into the night when I roll out of bed. I took the bigger bedroom in the old wooden house; the floors creak once I set my bare feet on them. The room fits the bed and a tiny dresser that’s only as tall as my hips. The surface of said dresser holds the satchel that stayed with me throughout my previous comings and goings; it’s now restocked and ready to roll.
My feet shuffle me towards the satchel, and I open the flap and shove a hand inside, digging around its full contents to find what I’m looking for: the Hilt of Storms.
The members of the conclave made such a big deal over this hunk of metal that I took from Gladus once I defeated her. Ravenno did try to pick it up, and it burned him. It wouldn’t let him touch it, and yet, even back then, it somehow could sense I was special.
Only I didn’t want to believe it.
I guess that’s not really too different from how I feel now.
The Hilt of Storms in my hand, I move toward the open window, where the silver light from the low-hanging moon streams in. This house has no glass and no screens, only shutters that if you close make the house damn near unbearable to be in. I lean my arms over the open window and stare down at the magical metal in my hand.
It’s not burning me, so it must still think I’m special, even without magic. The only reason I kept it with me was the simple fact that no one else can touch it or pick it up. If I left it anywhere, that’s where it would stay, so it might as well come with me, even if I never use it.
Don’t get me wrong, when Gladus used it, it was kickass, and as much as I can appreciate a magical sword, I think it’s sort of pointless. If you have magic, you could literally make a sword without the Hilt. It’s unnecessary, redundant, even.
I try to focus on the hilt and its lack of magical blade, but nothing forms. No magic comes to create a sizzling sword that would strike fear into the hearts of any foe it faces. It remains a hilt and only a hilt.
I close my eyes and lean my head down as the night breeze caresses my cheeks. “What’s wrong with me?” I whisper so lightly I can hardly hear myself.
That question can be asked about more than one thing, too. I’m magic-less. I’m lying to literally everyone about both the magic and Invictis. Add onto that I feel some type of way about the golden bastard—something I definitely shouldn’t after everything he’s done: wiped out most of Laconia, nearly killed me, and killed my mom.
Yeah, there’s a whole host of things wrong with me, and I don’t know how to fix any of it. And that’s ignoring the way I refuse to face the music when it comes to Frederick.
Frederick is nice. He’s cute. Much more appropriate for me than Invictis, given everything. But he’s so earnest, so serious, and I… I’m not used to that. I don’t know how to handle it. Maybe a part of me is anxious that, if I let him confess his feelings for me, I won’t be strong enough to resist him, and by not resisting I’ll eventually fuck up and hurt him.
I’ve never done a relationship before. Not a real one. Not one I actually wanted. Never cared to. I don’t know that I can see myself in a normal, long-lasting relationship with how fucked-up I am.
Heaving a sigh, I pull away from the window and stuff the Hilt of Storms back into my satchel and wander to bed. I roll to my side, facing the old, slightly-smelly wooden wall, and try to get some rest.
Spoiler alert: rest doesn’t really come, and before I know it, the sun is poking through the window, telling me it’s time to get up.
Fuck.
I groan when I get out of bed, groggy as hell. I’d be groggy if I got sleep, but I’m practically dead with next to none. I slip on my shoes, grab my satchel, and push out of the bedroom.
Invictis stands in the front area of the house, his blue gaze narrowed toward the door. Thankfully, he’s fully-clothed, so there’s nothing too distracting about him other than the intensity on his handsome face. He stares so intently at the door, it takes me a moment to realize that he’s staring at it for a reason.
Someone’s knocking.
Who could… fuck.
I hurry over as I fix the satchel’s single strap over my shoulder. “You need to hide,” I hiss.
“I thought we were going on a grand journey,” Invictis mocks me with a smirk, almost devilish. “We can’t do anything if I’m busy hiding—” After I snap my fingers at him, he closes his mouth, frowns, and then disappears into his bedroom.
After waiting a moment, I turn around and answer the door, not too sure of who I’m about to see. I swing open the door, and the moment I lock eyes with the man standing on the other side, the only thing I can say is his name: “Frederick.”
Frederick? What the fuck is Frederick doing here? My gaze drops to the straps on his shoulders, and it takes me a few seconds to realize he has a bag with him.
“Good, I caught you before you left,” he said, and even though I don’t invite him in, he steps around me and comes inside the house regardless. His brows furrow, and he glances all around. “Were you just talking to someone? I thought I heard a man’s voice—”
“Nope. Just me. What do you want? What, uh…” I trail off when Frederick looks around.
He goes to poke his head in my bedroom, like he’s some investigator or something and I hired him to sweep the house. “I know I heard another voice. It was muffled, but strangely clear. A fellow with a foreign accent—” He moves toward Invictis’s room, but before he can take a peek inside, I grab him by the arm and pull him away, and the act instantly draws his attention back to me.
“What are you doing here, Frederick?” I ask, still holding onto him. If I have to use my feminine wiles to distract him from the fact that he heard Invictis’s voice, then that’s what I’ll do. A little smiling, a little flirting, some batting of my eyelashes… shit like that.
What he says next makes me choke on air: “I came to join you.”
I’m so shocked at his response that my hand slips off his arm and I stand there like I didn’t quite hear him right. “You’re coming with me?”
“Yes. I spoke with my father about it, and he agrees you shouldn’t go alone. Plus, if you do discover anything ancient in there, I might be your best bet to translate. I also brought some empty journals to write anything we find down. We have no records of these labyrinths in Laconia. By all accounts, I will be the first non-empress to ever step foot in them—other than the ones who released Invictis from his prison.”
Okay, the reasoning makes sense, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can’t go with me for obvious reasons. The first one being the asshole in the other room, who’s probably leaning against the door, eavesdropping on this entire conversation.
The asshole no one else knows about.
It takes me a few moments to formulate an argument against him not coming. “You can’t come with me. It’s too dangerous.”
When I say that, he taps his hip, drawing my gaze to the new leather strap and the dagger resting there. Ah, that’s definitely new. Frederick never walked around with a dagger on his hip before.
“Frederick, look. I appreciate the thought behind it, but I can’t let you come. It’s just too dangerous.” I try to say it as nicely and sweetly as possible. Anything and everything to get him the hell out of here.
“And I appreciate the thought behind that, but I’m coming with you whether you like it or not.” Frederick stands firm, not letting himself be swayed by anything I say. When I look into his warm amber eyes, I can see his resolve is resolute.
Shit.
“Frederick, I—”
He takes a tiny step toward me, lowering his voice to a bare whisper as he says, “Look, if you’re worried about me slowing you down, I won’t. I know you’re capable and can take care of yourself, and I’d be lying if I said I’m okay sending you off again, but even if I ignore all of that, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, Rey. I want to see these labyrinths.”
All I can do is swallow hard and look away. My right hand fiddles with the strap on my bag. Every reason I have, everything I could say to him, he’ll have a retort ready. I won’t be able to convince him not to come, which means…
Fuck me.
“Frederick,” I say his name again, softer this time. “There’s something I should tell you.”
The moment he reaches for my face to tuck some of my hair behind an ear is the moment I realize I should’ve said it differently. The way I said it, it kind of sounds like I’m about to confess my undying love for the man—and that’s not what this is.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready for,” he whispers, his body inches away from mine. “There’s no rush. We have time. You know I’ll always be here.” The hand that tucked some of my hair back falls to my cheek, and I swear to God, it looks like he wants to kiss me.
My eyes fall to his lips. They were soft lips, from what I remember. And, really, that kiss wasn’t even a real kiss. It was too desperate, too needy. It might be nice to kiss him again, to really lean into it and forget about all of my problems…
It’s right when I think that that the door to Invictis’s room swings open and the asshole himself steps out. Frederick whirls around as he pulls away from me, his eyes widening at the sudden interruption.
“I believe she meant me,” Invictis says with a smirk, “not whatever that pathetic display was.” He moves to stand a few feet away from Frederick, and seeing them together really puts in perspective just how tall and wide Invictis’s human form is. Frederick is maybe eight inches taller than me, but Invictis puts him to shame, too.
“What—who…” Frederick’s brows furrow, and he glances at me. “Rey, who is this? I don’t recognize him from Laconia.”
Invictis saunters around Frederick and places himself near me. “No,” he muses, blue gaze twinkling, “I don’t suppose you would recognize me. That’s all right, you’ve always seemed a bit slow on the understanding. Here’s a hint: I am much closer to Rey than you will ever be.” Unless I’m mistaken, the asshole sounds incredibly smug when he says it, and when he says it, he even puts a hand on my back.
Oh, my God. He’s posturing. Invictis is posturing, having a testosterone contest with Frederick. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at how stupid this all is… and at how awkward they’re both making this.
“What?” That word is about all Frederick can seem to say, and he finally looks at me instead of Invictis. His gaze does drop to the hand Invictis placed on my lower back, but only for a moment. “I… I guess I… misread things. I should go.”
Invictis quips, “Yes, run along. You’re not needed here, Frederick.” The way he says his name makes it sound like an insult.
Frederick starts to leave, but I can’t let him go like this, thinking that… that Invictis and I are together or something. We’re not. We won’t ever be, no matter how tempting his body and face might be. The things he’s done are unforgivable, and I hate him for all of it.
But Frederick is nice and he deserves more, so before he can step around us to leave, I move away from Invictis and that damned hand on my back to stop him. “Wait,” I say, pleading as I put a hand on his chest. “It’s not what it looks like.”
Wow. Never thought I’d say that cheesy as fuck line.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Frederick says. “I thought—I assumed—”
I glance at Invictis and find he’s grinning so hard he’s flashing his teeth. Or showing his fangs like an animal would. Seeing the smug expression on his face makes it clear to me: I need to tell Frederick the truth, because fuck that guy.
“I, um… haven’t been completely honest with you or anyone else,” I start, slow in pulling my hand off Frederick’s chest. “After the battle, when I said I defeated Invictis, everyone assumed I killed him, but that’s not exactly true.”
As I talk, Frederick keeps glancing between me and Invictis. I don’t know if he’s putting it together, if he’s finally noticing the matching golden tattoo on the man’s arm and wrist, or if he’s still wrestling with envious thoughts. Either way, he says nothing.
“I could only stop him by binding him to me again, all of him this time,” I say in a hurry, the words tumbling out of me before I can think better of them. “Frederick, this—” I gesture to the tall asshole behind me. “—is Invictis.”
“Oh.” That’s all Frederick says for a minute, and the tension is palpable in the air of the hut as he takes in Invictis in a new light. “ Oh .”
Behind me, Invictis mutters, “I would kill you if she’d let me. I find you terribly annoying, and I abhor your affection for Rey. I find it disgusting.”
Frederick blinks, and then he turns his attention back to me. “That’s… nice. Very nice. Um, do you think I could speak with you privately, Rey? Without the, um, ancient weapon looming over us telling me how he wants to kill me?”
“Don’t take it personally. I’d kill everyone if I could. It’s what I do.” Invictis grins before he gives us a mock bow. “But I can sense an order is coming, and for now I am forced to listen to Rey and her every whim. It’s most unfortunate.”
I glare at him as he retreats back into his bedroom, and a mere second passes before Frederick grabs me and hauls me outside, putting more distance between us and Invictis.
Frederick releases me once we stand under the sun, out in the bright light of the early morning. I can tell by the look on his face he’s not thrilled, and that’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell him.
“You should have told the conclave,” he says. “You should have told me! Everyone in Laconia has the right to know that the reason they’ve been stuck inside those walls is now living just down the road!” He actually raises his voice; he’s understandably upset, and I can’t be mad at him for that.
“I know,” I whisper. “I just… I didn’t know how.”
“We could’ve been researching on how to, I don’t know, take it apart again.” Frederick shakes his head and runs both hands through his brown hair, messing up its length. And then, he does something strange: he chuckles.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” he says. “Nothing’s funny. Now I understand why you keep referring to Invictis as a he.” Even though he’s upset, he can’t hide the jealous tones in his voice.
Softly, I say, “He can’t hurt anyone. I won’t let him.”
“That thing is a monster, responsible for the deaths of countless—and what about the madness that thing brings with it? What if you lose your mind because of this?” Frederick shakes his head again, as if the thought of me losing my mind is one of the most painful things he can think of.
“He won’t make me crazy. I’m not like the other empresses.”
“Because you’re from a different world?”
“Because I’ve always had a piece of him in me,” I say, and when I say it I hear him suck in a hard breath, like I physically hit him with the words. “When my mom, Gladus, and Morimento tore him apart and trapped him into three soul gems, a fourth piece of him went inside me. My mom was pregnant when they trapped him.”
Frederick’s face scrunches as he thinks. “Empress Krotas was pregnant with you at that moment? You’ve always had a piece of the weapon inside you… of course. Otherwise you would’ve lost your mind sooner, when you first came here. You must’ve been strong, even in the womb, to be able to adopt a piece of Invictis and overcome it.”
I shrug. “Or it was a small piece, but enough. I don’t know, but… I did all that I could. I don’t think Invictis is just a weapon.” I lower my voice, afraid to say these next words out loud, “I think he’s a god.”
“A god?”
“Yeah, you know, all-powerful, ancient, beings beyond our mortal comprehension, that sort of thing. I know Laconians worship their empresses, but maybe before the first high empress, the people who lived here worshiped him.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “If the ancient Laconians worshiped gods, if they worshiped that thing in there… then why would Invictis wipe them out?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I do know that the old gods in pretty much every mythology back on earth can be fickle and mean and cruel. They’re gods. They do what they want when they want and they never apologize. I don’t know if that’s what he is, but… he’s not just a weapon, Frederick. He’s more than that, I know it.”
The way Frederick looks at me after that makes me feel as if he’s disappointed in me, and I instantly hate it. “You could be saying that because of its influence on you. It could already be changing you and you don’t realize it yet. I don’t want to lose you to that thing.”
“You won’t,” I promise him.
Frederick glances back at the small hut. “Well, even though it seems you won’t be alone on your journey after all, I am still going with you.”
My mouth falls open. “But—” When those amber eyes turn toward me, I shut up.
“I will not let you go off and wander the regions of Laconia while in the company of that thing in there.” He points to the hut. “Perhaps you see it as a man, but I know it is not. I would never trust you to be alone with that thing.”
“I can take care of myself.” Even though I don’t have magic currently , which he doesn’t know, but I think today he’s had enough truth bombs.
Frederick sighs. “I know. I don’t mean that I don’t trust you with it. What I meant to say is I don’t trust it with you. It might look like a man, it might sound like a man, but it is not a man. That thing is the reason I had to leave my home as a child. It’s the reason you grew up on another world. It has killed so many people, led to the deaths of so many more. Our mothers, our empresses, our families. That thing in there is a monster, nothing more.”
He’s right. I can’t argue with him. He’s totally right, and I know it. I’ve known it this whole time. It does hit a little differently when you hear someone else say it, though, especially when that person is the normally calm and quiet Frederick.
“So, yes, I am going with you. I’ll watch your back around that thing.”
In my head, I hear Invictis mutter, “He’ll watch more than that, I’m sure. Shall we tell him of the time you undressed for me? I’m certain he would love to hear all about it—”
Ignoring that comment is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in days, and I address Frederick by saying, “Fine, but you have to learn to ignore the shit he says. He will say anything he can to get under your skin. You think he’s just a weapon, but trust me, he’s as annoying as any other man, no offense.”
“Uh” is all he says to that, and I can tell he doesn’t like being lumped in with the asshole, but it’s true. Men will be men and all that shit.
“Come out here, Invictis,” I say, and in a flash of yellow light, he appears beside me, still wearing that blasted smirk. “I guess you’re both coming with me. That means you will both be on your best behavior. We’re going to be one happy family on this trip, is that understood?”
Invictis folds his arms over his chest and frowns. “I don’t see why I should. I don’t like him.” When he says that, Frederick scoffs. “See? Even the way he breathes makes me murderous.”
Frederick huffs, “What—wait. Are those my boots?”He notices the one thing I didn’t have the tailor replace.
“You will get along with him because I’m telling you to,” I say to Invictis, and to Frederick, I add, “Yes, those are your boots. Now, shall we get this show on the road?”
I stump both men by that saying, neither one understanding it. You never know how many weird sayings you have in your vocabulary until you’re transported to another world and you’re faced with people who just don’t get it.