CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Drak
It was an hour and a half before we all showered enough to feel some semblance of cleanliness, and then the food arrived. I’d never felt less welcome, or more on the outside of anything than I did sitting in room 6A with Omaera, the bear, and the mage.
They were all angry with me.
However, nobody was angrier with me than myself.
Life as I knew it was entirely wrong. I’d been raised to act a certain way. To serve the Realm, and to serve my king, a certain way. Emotions were gaps in one’s armor and to be concealed at all costs. They were vulnerabilities that someone like me couldn’t afford to reveal, not to anybody. Not even my Fated Mate.
I could not have been more wrong.
Maybe it was the difference between vampires and humans. Humans were emotionally driven creatures, whereas vampires were taught from infancy to be stoic and push our emotions down and as far from the surface as possible. Emotions were a weakness.
Nobody ever prepared me for the possibility of having a mate that wasn’t a vampire. So I was handling this all wrong, and with zero education or training. And I was never one to walk into a war, negotiation, or even a relationship without extensive preparation beforehand.
Zandren ordered so much food that the table, side table, and dresser were covered with takeout boxes. I zeroed in on the steak sandwich with spinach salad and grabbed that as we filled Omaera in on my call with Howar.
“Fuck him,” Omaera said, chewing on a slice of pizza. “Fuck Howar. Fuck Lerris, and if this is how Anysa thinks too, then fuck her as well. Fuck them all with a rusty fork. They can sit on the prongs and spin counterclockwise for all I care.”
Maxar’s lip twitched. “While I like your fire, babe, I’m inclined to advise that we not assume Anysa is going to side with Howar and Lerris. We go in cautiously, but optimistically. She may be supportive of a female leader. It’s been a while since we’ve had—”
“There’s never been a ruling queen,” I cut in. “Only ever a consort.”
Maxar’s dark-red brows lifted. “All the more reason for Anysa to support a shift in power to the fairer sex—even if it’s not her.”
I wasn’t entirely in agreement with the mage. Anysa was old school. She may very well side with those who preached pure blood or nothing, and turn her nose up at the idea of a queen with half-human blood.
“Where is a good place to meet? A neutral place?” Omaera asked. “Somewhere they can’t set a trap, or lay an ambush.”
I glanced at the bear, then the mage.
“And away from people. We can’t risk casualties,” she added.
“I may know of a place,” I said quietly.
All eyes turned to me.
“Gonna keep it a secret, bro? Or might you share something with us for once?” Maxar reached for a potsticker with his chopsticks, dipped it into the sauce, then shoved the whole thing in his mouth, but not without staring me down like a disappointed headmaster.
“In the Rocky Mountains in Colorado there is a cave. It’s been used for various rituals and meetings over the centuries. It’s removed from civilization, but it’s also quite open. It’s at the base of a mountain with no dense forest immediately surrounding it. It’s unique and known by all the Realm leaders. ”
“Why is this somewhere you think would be a good spot for a meeting?” Omaera asked.
“Because everyone will have to travel to it. It will be nobody’s home turf. We can go early and scope it out. So you’re not the only person without prior knowledge of the space.”
“I’ve been there before with my father,” Zandren said, slowly nodding. “I agree. It’s a good spot.”
Nodding once at the bear, then focusing back on Omaera, desperate to get back into her good graces, I continued on. “We should suggest a different place first, then change it last minute so they can’t prepare in advance. Or you let Howar set the location, then switch it last minute. He is your subordinate. He cannot refuse you.”
A slow, calculating smile pulled at Omaera’s lips. “The more we can fuck with Howar, the better.”
Maxar chuckled. “That’s my queen.”
“Let’s make the call,” she said, jerking her chin at my phone. “Call your king and agree to the meeting on my behalf.” She scooped some chicken tikka masala onto her plate, then used some naan bread to scoop it up and into her mouth. “But put it on speakerphone.” Excitement lit up her green eyes. “That’s an order.”
Maxar nearly choked on his spring roll as he started laughing.
Zandren called his dad and told him the proper plan, and apparently, King Ryden approved.
Next up, it was my turn. My stomach roiled when I dialed Howar’s number, knowing that when he saw it was a call from me, he’d pick up no matter what.
“Drak, cousin. I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon again,” Howar said, his tone chipper. “What news do you have of the little half-demon and her willingness to meet with us?”
Omaera glared at my phone on the bed. “I’m here too, Your Majesty. Omaera Playfair, pleased to finally make your acquaintance.”
The noise Howar made on the phone was like he’d just swallowed a chicken bone. “Y-Your Majesty, m-my sincerest apologies. Had I known I was on speakerphone, I never would have—”
“You are forgiven,” Omaera said, smiling like a cat playing with a mouse before she devoured it. “I agree with you though. It is time for me to meet the other Realm leaders in person. I greatly appreciate your patience with me as I acclimated myself to this new world, my new role, and my new mates. As I’m sure you understand, it was a lot to process, considering I was raised human and believed I was entirely human less than a month ago.”
“Y-yes, of course, Your Majesty. We fully understand that it has been a lot to grasp. And given your limited … knowledge of our realm, and your powers—”
“I’m doing just fine now. Thank you for your concern, but it’s entirely unneeded.”
Another choking on a chicken bone noise squawked through the phone. “Of course, of course.”
“I would like to meet with you, Queen Anysa, and King Ryden. Soon. Perhaps, two days hence.”
“Hence ?” Maxar mouthed with amusement.
Omaera shrugged and winked. “ Just playing the role, ” she mouthed back.
“Two days?” Howar asked.
“Does that work for you?” Omaera asked.
“Uh … yes, it should. Two days from now at the Palace of Venixe in Arizona. Drak knows where that is.”
I knew he was going to choose the Palace of Venixe. It was the perfect place for a calculated attack. Howar was so predictable. Yet, somehow, I completely missed his true nature and that he would ultimately betray me. Apparently, he wasn’t that predictable.
Omaera’s gaze met mine, her brows lifting a little.
I nodded.
“Excellent. I look forward to meeting you in person,” she replied.
“As do I, Your Majesty.”
“Oh, Howar, before you go …” Omaera said, picking up her chopsticks, leaning forward a little to grab a piece of yam tempura roll from the tray of sushi.
“Yes, Your Majesty?” Intrigue, and perhaps a touch of concern, colored Howar’s deep timbre.
“When we arrived at the portal to Hell, there was an ambush of vampires waiting for us. Do you know anything about that? After all, you’re the only person who knew where we were going as Drak asked you for portal coordinates, and that’s the portal you directed us to.”
My jaw dropped, as did Maxar’s and Zandren’s. Bringing up the attack to Howar was not part of our plan.
My cousin instantly began to lie and trip over his words. “W-what? A-are you accusing me of betraying the crown? Betraying my cousin?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” Omaera said innocently. “I’m simply asking if you know anything about it. Perhaps staff of yours overheard you and relayed the coordinates to someone? Have you had any recent new hires that could be of suspicion? Maybe you need to take a thorough inventory of who you have working for you and just where their allegiances lie. Just a … suggestion. From one monarch to another of course.”
I really wished I could see Howar’s face at that moment and the absolute shock I’m sure he displayed at the way Omaera addressed him. Accusing him of either having unrest in his ranks, or betraying us outright. It was a bold accusation, and not one she could take back. It would also surely incite Howar into retaliating if he wasn’t already planning on it.
“W-well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about, Your Majesty,” Howar said, fumbling less over his words than before. “I will look into my staff. You can be sure of that. However, if you don’t mind me asking, what skin color did the vampires have? You do know there are two species of vampires, right?”
“I do, yes. I killed a Phaceanesh just a day or two after I came into my powers. However, the ambush happened in daylight, and it is my understanding that Phaceanesh can only come out at night, due to the translucency of their skin. Correct?”
“That … is … correct,” Howar said slowly.
“So, by that deduction, and our blatant firsthand observations that the vampires who attacked us did not have skin that was near translucent—”
“Yes, yes, I get what you’re saying,” Howar interrupted. “It was obviously rogue vampires, not Phaceanesh.”
If our jaws hadn’t already been hanging open, they would have now. Howar just did one of the rudest things you can possibly do to a monarch of higher station than you—interrupt them. In the past, that was a grievance some kings and queens beheaded over. While I didn’t think Omaera was the type, the level of disrespect was not lost on any of us—even the new queen.
“Please do not interrupt me, Your Majesty,” Omaera said calmly. “I’m not assuming or insinuating anything. I have not been part of this realm long enough to make any assumptions. My mates, however, are guiding me in the ways of your world quite well. So please, look within your court and kingdom for any sign of … unrest. And remember, when they attacked us at the portal, they attacked your cousin. So I presume you are going to take this personally?”
Howar probably needed a second to collect his own jaw off the floor. Or at least it seemed that way, because he took a moment to reply.
“King Howar, are you still there?” Omaera asked her voice almost saccharine.
“Yes. Yes, I am, Your Majesty. My apologies. And yes, I take it personally that Drak was among those attacked at the portal. I’m tremendously pleased that he is okay, and I will certainly look into things on my end.”
“Excellent. I look forward to seeing you in two days’ time. Good evening, Your Majesty.” Then she leaned forward and disconnected the call.
“I’m so fucking hard right now,” Maxar said, pointing to the bulge in his black sweatpants. “You were born to be Queen. That shit … we didn’t teach you that shit. That’s all you. That’s all …” He shook his head in disbelief, “fuck. Baby, that was so hot.”
Color filled Omaera’s face, and she smiled until her cheeks rounded. “I mean, I may have binge watched The Crown last month. I know the way a queen is expected to talk.”
Maxar and Zandren shook their heads, grinning.
“No way, that was all you, Little One,” Zandren said, grabbing two slices of pizza, putting four potstickers between them, and eating it all like a massive sandwich. “That was sexy. You owned that motherfucking vampire like the queen you are. ”
Omaera glanced at me. “Tell me about the Palace of Venixe.”
I slept terribly.
It didn’t help that Zandren spent a significant portion of the evening and early morning inside Omaera in the adjacent room, which ramped up my Mate’s Ache, but I was also just running through the upcoming meeting with the rulers through my head on a loop.
I attacked it from every angle I could. Ran through every scenario like a war general should.
We would be outnumbered no matter what.
Howar would come with manpower, and if he informed Lerris of the plan, Lerris wouldn’t come alone either. Queen Anysa would bring her mages-in-waiting with her as well. And Zandren said that his father would probably bring a few lieutenants with him, since the old bear rarely traveled alone anymore. The only ruler who knew the true and real plan was King Ryden. He knew to go directly to Colorado.
In the morning, we met for breakfast and the front desk clerk helped us with a rental car. We were on the road at checkout time and headed east in the Honda SUV rental for the fifteen-hour drive. Maxar drove first, then traded off with Zandren. I rarely drove and articulated as much when they asked me if I wanted a turn. I said I would, but that it’d been a while. Like several decades since I’d been behind the wheel. Normally, I had a driver.
When we did all speak, it was strategy and planning.
Zandren suggested stopping in Wyoming for the night. He said he knew some black bear-shifters we could stay with, but Omaera wanted to push on. She wanted to get to the cave and get the lay of the land as soon as possible.
We arrived in Denver in the wee hours of the morning and checked into a hotel just long enough to shower and get a few hours of sleep.
Maxar claimed the room with Omaera this time, and Zandren said he’d sleep outside. Apparently, the bear would rather snuggle up with a dumpster behind the hotel than share a room with me.
Zandren returned the next morning with breakfast and coffee for everyone, then we piled into the SUV and headed toward the mountains. I’d been to the cave before, as had the bear. This would be new to both Maxar and Omaera, and we really did need the two days we had to properly devise our plan.
It was a couple of hours’ drive through the windy mountain roads before we reached the spot where we’d have to park the vehicle and continue on foot. Howar never walked anywhere he didn’t have to, so he would probably have a helicopter drop him off closer to the cave.
As soon as we entered the trees, Zandren stripped down to nothing, dropped to all fours, and shifted, shaking out his big head and sending fur flying up into the sunny sky. He immediately nudged Omaera with his snout and she giggled, leaning forward to press a kiss to his nose. “Hey, Pooh Bear. Long time no see.” He licked the back of her hand, then led the way deeper into the woods.
We already had a bed-and-breakfast booked a couple of miles away, where we’d stay until the meeting tomorrow. For now, we planned to spend as much time out here preparing as we could. When we entered the warehouse to rescue Gemma, we were completely unaware of what waited for us. We weren’t going to make the same mistake again.
Zandren stopped his lumber at the base of a black slate wall.
“This is it?” Omaera asked, glancing around the sudden clearing. The line of trees sat several yards back.
Zandren grunted, then started to dig at the ground with his enormous claws.
“Is Timmy in the well, Lassie?” Maxar joked.
Zandren spun around and snarled at the mage.
Maxar threw his hands up in the air. “Kidding. Kidding. Don’t get your fluff in a knot.”
Zandren’s growl was less intense this time as he resumed his digging.
“It’s okay, Pooh Bear,” Omaera said, stroking Zandren’s head as his long nails scratched against stones in the earth.
“What’s he looking for anyway?” Maxar asked.
Omaera watched with the same intense curiosity. “I was wondering the same thing.”
“The entrance,” I replied.
“It’s underground?” Omaera exclaimed. Then she smacked her forehead with the heel of her palm. “Ignore me. I know what caves are. Ugh!” She rolled her eyes. “What I mean is, he has to dig to find the entrance? Why? Has it been that many years since anybody has been here?”
I nodded. “Yes, there is that part. But also, there is a handle that appears to have been buried in a long-ago rockslide.”
“A handle ?” Maxar asked.
I made a noise of confirmation in my throat just as Zandren grunted and hooked his gigantic paw around the handle roughly two feet into the hole he dug.
“You’re telling me this is basically like a giant garage door that we have to lift up?” Omaera asked. “And that’s the handle?”
“Essentially,” I replied as Zandren grunted and groaned while heaving on the handle.
“Do you need help, Pooh Bear?” Omaera asked, stepping forward and reaching down into the hole. She grunted too, straining to yank it up.
Soon, all of us had our hands in the hole and were pulling up.
“You’re sure this is it?” Maxar asked, wedged between Omaera and me. “There isn’t another handle somewhere?”
“This is it,” I answered.
“Oh! I felt it budge,” Omaera said with glee. “Did you feel that?”
We all did. That bit of movement galvanized our efforts, and eventually, we were able to wiggle the bottom of the door free from the earth enough that it wasn’t compacted by it. Zandren nudged us all out of the way, making us stand back, then he dropped his lower body into the hole and with his toe-claws, he hooked them into the handle and pulled upward. The entrance was quite large. Three or four times the size of a standard garage. But it was all magic enhanced with shields and spells cast over it so no human could ever stumble on the handle and get into the cave. The black wall of the mountain moved upward like a filmstrip as Zandren pulled up. Omaera gaped and gasped.
Maxar watched, but with far less fascination.
Zandren switched to pushing upward on the bottom of the door with his feet until I was able to grab the handle and guide the door up enough for us to all duck under.
It was dark inside. So Maxar and Omaera created torches for us, illuminating the enormous, dripping cavern. Sharp pointed millennia-old stalactites hung from the ceiling while their counterparts—stalagmites—rose up from the floor. It was warm inside, and easy enough to feel the magic pulsing in the damp air.
“Let there be light,” Maxar said, dramatically throwing a big blue flame-ball into the air where it burst into a million tiny pieces and clung to the ceiling like stars in the sky.
“Cool,” Omaera marveled. “I want to learn how to do that.” She conjured her own ball of flames, this one a light blue color, and she threw it up into the air. “Let there be light.” It didn’t break up into as many pieces as Maxar’s and her stars fizzled out in a few seconds, but it was a good first attempt.
She kept trying as we wandered around the cave. Zandren and I pointed out important areas, like the council seats, which were just chairs carved into the slate. There was a large hole in the center of the room and nobody really knew how far down it went. It was rumored that it was a portal to Hell that had long ago lost its magic, and anybody who dared to jump in would just be falling for eternity. But the magic we felt near the other portals, let alone the humming, wasn’t there.
“Can’t we just throw Lerris and Howar in there?” Omaera asked, pointing to the hole.
Maxar chuckled. “Fuck, I love how much of a sexy psycho you’re becoming.”
She rolled her eyes. “I mean, you just said nobody knows where it actually goes or how deep it is. So in theory, we wouldn’t be committing murder, right?”
“Morally gray is a fantastic fucking shade on you, babe.” Maxar came up and planted a noisy kiss on her.
She pushed him away playfully. “Where would we put the blood cage?”
I pointed out the corner that would suit it best, far enough away from the black hole to the unknown that nobody could accuse Omaera of accidentally throwing her uncle or the Vampire King into the hole.
“Are we allowing all those who accompany the rulers into the cave?” she asked, stepping up and taking her rightful spot at the highest carved seat along the north wall.
“They will be suspicious if we don’t allow their mages and vampires-in-waiting to join,” I replied.
Omaera nodded and glanced at Zandren, but the bear was busy scratching his monstrous behind against a stalagmite and groaning in delight.
“Silly old bear,” Omaera murmured, smiling at the shifter.
“And if Anysa ends up being in cahoots with Howar and Lerris?” Maxar asked. “Off with her head?”
Killing a monarch carried a death sentence of its own. Even if that monarch was being accused of high treason. If Omaera wanted to follow proper protocol, Anysa would be given a trial, then sentenced to life in prison in Hell. As would Howar. Lerris, however killed King Donovar, and in theory would be sentenced to death if he lived long enough to stand trial. My mate wasn’t planning to let that happen though. She wanted him dead, trial be damned. I couldn’t really blame her.
And as much as my chest still ached over my cousin’s betrayal, I didn’t want to see him executed. He was my family. My king. And for several centuries—my best friend.
“Does magic act the same here as it does outside?” Omaera asked. “Or is it like Hell where that borromium or whatever the fuck it was called stopped our magic from working?”
“Borromium can only be found in Hell, babe,” Maxar said.
“Magic is normal here, if not slightly enhanced,” I replied. “I’m sure you can feel the magical charge in the air?”
Omaera nodded.
We walked her through the plan several times, where we would all be positioned, where she would stand, how she would address Howar and Anysa, and when we would serve the tea. I pretended to be Howar, which sat about as comfortable inside me as a splinter under the fingernail. Maxar was Anysa, and Zandren was Ryden.
“So we just skirt the black hole that’s about as inconspicuous as an elephant in a train station bathroom?” Omaera asked, her attention back on the bottomless pit in front of us. “What’s to stop Howar from just tossing me in?”
“Us,” Zandren said softly. “Eventually, you kind of just forget its there. It’s just—”
“Part of the décor?” she replied with a snort. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Her head shook. “Once all this Lerris and Howar bullshit is done, let’s build a big fence around this thing so nobody accidentally trips and falls for eternity.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” we all said at the same time, sharing similar smirks between us.
After we ran through that scenario and similar ones several times, we exited the cave and went to the woods and the base of the mountains where we pointed out all the places an attack could come from. Zandren got momentarily distracted by a rabbit, and bounded off after it, returning a few minutes later, licking his chops with blood on his nose.
“The thing to remember,” I pointed out, “is that anybody of royal blood can open the cave. That includes Lerris. I suspect he will incapacitate anybody he views as a threat and enter on his own, or with those he’s rallied to his side. So we will be outnumbered.”
Zandren scoffed.
Omaera ran her hand over the bear’s head. “I don’t want anybody to get hurt. At least not anybody who is on our side.” Zandren glanced up at her. “And that includes your father’s lieutenants.”
“We’ll have King Ryden make sure his lieutenants shift and stay far enough away that Lerris can’t sense them and mindfuck with them. As for the mages …” I glanced at Maxar. “I know you don’t know Anysa, but you’re a mage. You’re part of that … species. Surely, you must have some idea where your monarch’s alle giances lay.”
“Well, I don’t, dude,” Maxar snapped back. “I steer clear of the Council and Queen. They’ve got their eyes on me though, since my parents are genocidal maniacs and all.”
“Well, hopefully, the mages that accompany Anysa are capable of blocking any mindfuckery from Lerris,” Omaera said. “And as for the vampires that join Howar …” Her shoulder lifted. “They made their choice.” Her gaze pinned on me, her green eyes wide. “You don’t think he’ll bring Raver with him, do you?”
Along with the litany of things plaguing me, Raver becoming brainwashed by Howar was among the top five. I was already devastated over the fact that my cousin had betrayed me, that I’d upset my mate to the point where she wasn’t sure she could trust me, and certainly didn’t want to mate-bond with me. To see Raver show up with Howar and legitimately be loyal to him would be almost unbearable.
“I’m not sure,” I finally replied. “Raver took over my roll when I left Howar’s court to be with you. If I still held my position, I would accompany Howar to a meeting like this one. He would expect me to.”
Concern filled her eyes. “And are you prepared to do what is necessary if Raver ends up being on Howar’s side?”
Zandren glanced at me, waiting. Maxar cocked his head to the side, a smug smirk on his mouth.
I nodded once. “I am, Your Majesty. My fealty is to you, and you alone. If Raver is with Howar and Lerris, then he will need to be dealt with accordingly.”
A warmth that wasn’t there a second ago burned in her gaze, but also a sadness. She didn’t want me to have to take out one of my best friends anymore than I did.
“If we take down a few of these trees here, it will eliminate hiding spots for potential ambush,” Maxar said, having wandered away and closer to the tree line.
“Anybody bring a chainsaw?” Omaera asked with mirth.
Maxar reared his head back in surprise. “We don’t need a chainsaw, babe. We have fire.” Then like a centuries-old fire-mage, he whipped up a fire sword longer than Omaera was tall, and sliced it through the thick trunk of a spruce like it was no more than warm butter. “Timmmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!”
The tree crashed through the low laying brush with a cacophony of crunches before finding its final resting place on the forest floor.
While Lumberjack Maxar went about falling a few more trees, Zandren and I pulled Omaera off to the other side where we pointed out a small escape passageway if things went sideways and she needed to get out fast.
“I don’t see anything,” she said.
“Watch.” It was no more than a crack about three feet in length and five inches deep in the side of the mountain, but that was intentional. I stepped back a few meters, then without hesitation walked right up to the face of the mountain and into the crack, disappearing before their eyes, and through to the other side of the mountain where a beautiful grassy meadow filled with bees and wildflowers swayed in the breeze.
I spun around, about to head back to encourage Omaera to try it, when she stumbled toward me out of the mountainside, her eyes wide. She shook her head to reorient herself. “Well, that was weird,” she said, taking in the gorgeous landscape in front of us.
I waited for the bear to join us, but he didn’t.
“I asked Zandren to stay with Maxar. I don’t think any of us should be alone right now. Too much at stake.”
Nodding, I pulled that fresh air deep into my lungs and stared out at the rolling hills in the distance.
She came to stand beside me. “I want to forgive you,” she said, after a moment of quiet passed between us. “I desperately want to forgive you.”
I swallowed, and my heart thundered wildly. I didn’t dare look at her though.
“I’m not there, yet.”
I didn’t expect her to be.
“We can’t keep secrets from each other, Drak. None. I want to know if you’re constipated and need to fart. If you’ve got a headache, or your fang has a cavity. Secrets are what caused all of this mess that we’re in. Aunt Delia lied to me about who I really am and where I came from. I know she lied to me to protect me, but it was still a lie. Maybe if I met my father, if I knew that I was a demon—a princess— none of this would have happened.” Her chest shuddered as she pushed out a deep breath through her nose. “I’m sorry that you’re suffering from the Mate’s Ache. I really am. And I will do what I can to mitigate that pain as best I can. But I’m not ready to mate-bond with you. Not yet. I’m still …”
I faced her, and her eyes were full of tears, which absolutely ripped my already tattered heart to even less functioning threads. “Figuring out a way to forgive me.”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“I don’t forgive myself, if that helps?”
Her humorless huff of a laugh made me smile. “Perhaps a little.”
Then she surprised me and laced her fingers through mine, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I glanced at her in shock, and she turned toward me, keeping our fingers intertwined. I faced her too, trying desperately to keep my breathing even.
“Did Melissima give you something to help curb the Mate’s Ache?”
“Yes.”
“Are you running low? Did you take it while we were in Hell?”
“Yes, to both of those questions. It doesn’t stop the Ache, and when you’re with Maxar and Zandren, I may as well not bother with the tablets …”
Her cheeks went a little pink and one corner of her mouth tipped up as she glanced down at the ground for a moment. She met my gaze once more. “Once we get through this, we’ll go back to Melissima. I need to check on Gemma anyway. It’s killing me being away from her. I haven’t been away from her for this long since we met.”
I should have been relieved, grateful that she was looking out for my well-being and didn’t want to see me in pain. But the fact that she wanted to return to Melissima’s in Oregon to get me more tablets to mitigate the effect of the Mate’s Ache, meant she was nowhere near ready to mate-bond with me.
Her gaze narrowed. “What are you thinking about right now?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head .
She squeezed my fingers, almost enough that for a moment I thought she might be trying to cause me discomfort on purpose. “Don’t lie to me, Drak.”
And uncomfortable heat flooded my neck and cheeks, and I ground my molars together, focusing on the ground to my left and the way a fat bumblebee darted from blossom to blossom.
“Look at me,” she ordered.
I lifted my gaze up to her face.
“Tell me.”
Exhaling long and slow through my nose, I swallowed. “I’m just thinking about the fact that you wanting to get to Melissima again and get me more tablets means you’re nowhere near close, or ready, to mate-bond with me. That I messed this up more than I ever thought possible.”
Understanding flickered in her green eyes, which shone with more gold flecks than ever with the way the sun hit her face. She was, and forever would be, the most gorgeous thing I’d ever laid eyes on. “Ah,” was all she said in response.
“But that is my cross to bear. Not yours.”
The faintest of smiles curled her mouth for just a moment, before falling again. “You’re right. You thought you were being all noble, letting your pride rule your decisions. And now you’re suffering the consequences.”
That I was.
Her gaze turned soft. “I still don’t like to know you’re in pain. I’ll try to be more mindful now.”
That was exactly what I didn’t want. Why I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want my pain to dictate her decisions. Her moves and choices. She had free will. She was the Queen, for crying out loud. The last thing she needed was my discomfort being an ongoing factor in the choices she made.
“We may not be bonded, but I can read your face like a book. And I know you don’t like it, but it is what it is. I don’t want to see anybody in pain, least of all, those I care about.”
I snapped my eyes up to hers from where I’d been studying her throat and the way her carotid throbbed so beautifully along the side of her neck.
“Yes, Drak, despite not being ready to forgive you yet, and the fact that you drive me nuts most of the time, I do care about you. Deeply. You’re my Fated Mate and a part of this little weird foursome the Fates have decided we are. It seems like the most reluctant person to join our rag tag crew though, is you.”
I blinked at her, absorbing her words.
That crooked half-smile was back, as was the softness in her eyes. Her thumb rubbed rhythmically over the back of my hand and contentment filled my chest. She glanced toward the way we came through the mountain. “We should get back. Hopefully Maxar hasn’t started a forest fire.” She took a step toward the wall, releasing my hand, but I didn’t let go.
I pulled her back to me, taking her mouth with mine and swallowing her gasp of surprise. Holding her there, kissing her, erased every ache in my body. She was the balm for the burn. The salve for the scrape. She was soothing and soft in my arms. And the best part about it all was that she kissed me back. Her hands came up to my shoulders, wrapping around my neck, where she played with my hair at the nape, twirling it around her fingers.
Our breathing grew more ragged as my erection prodded against her thigh. I could have easily taken her right then and there among the wildflowers, but as much as she was into the kiss, I wasn’t sure she’d be into more.
Cupping her jaw and feeling her pulse speed up against my pinky finger, I deepened the kiss. She opened wider for me, pressing her body tighter to mine until there wasn’t room for even air to be trapped between us.
It was all going so well. Then suddenly, she pulled away, breathless. “Will Maxar be able to travel through the mountain the way we did?” she asked, her eyes starry, lips swollen.
She was kissing me and thinking about the mage?
I did my very best to squash my initial reaction of hurt and anger, and cleared my throat. “Um … I suppose not. He’s not highborn.”
Her eyes widened, and without hesitation, she stalked straight toward the flat side of the mountain. “Come on. We need to figure out a different route of escape then.” With zero hesitation, like she’d being doing this kind of thing for centuries, she walked right into the wall and disappeared, leaving me standing there with my cock thick in my pants, confusion in my mind, and that familiar ache in my heart.