19. Chapter Nineteen
chapter nineteen
. . .
Olivia
“I'm sticky,” I mumbled, my voice muffled against Carter’s chest. His deep, rich laughter rumbled beneath my ear.
“Should we shower?” His fingers tickled my back in lazy circles, and I nestled in closer, relishing the heat of his skin against mine.
“Mhm.”
“You'll have to get up,” he pointed out.
I groaned softly. “Can't move.”
Carter's hand stilled on my back. “I'm sorry I wasn't more... careful with you. I meant what I said about taking things slow, but then you threw me for a loop undressing like that.”
His words made me frown. “Careful how?” It’d be awful if he started treating me like I might shatter at any moment.
“Protection, Olivia,” he said, his voice serious. “I can call Mel. See if she can send in something for you.”
“Oh.” Oh . “You worried you just knocked me up, Mr. Cassidy?”
“Kind of. I'm not usually so careless. ”
I sighed. “Well, don't panic. I had a hard enough time getting pregnant when I was trying. I'm sure one little slip up won’t do it now.”
“I'm sorry,” Carter said, his arms tightening around me.
“Don't be,” I assured him. “It was clearly for the best.”
He tensed beneath me. “I refuse to believe all the pain you've experienced was ‘for the best.’”
His words melted my heart, but I tried to keep things light. “And I appreciate that. But can you imagine if I had a child right now? I'd be a single mother, struggling even worse than I am.”
“Give yourself a break, Liv.”
I smiled and stroked a finger down his nose. “Liv, huh? Look at you, embracing the nicknames.”
“Well, I just had my cock inside you, so I think we're past formalities, wouldn't you say?”
A wet tongue slapped against my cheek, startling me from my cozy reverie. I squealed and jerked away, only to find Pete's furry face inches from mine, tail wagging furiously.
“Pete!” I giggled, pushing his snout away. “What are you doing up here?”
Carter groaned, wiping dog slobber from his face. “I think someone got jealous.”
Pete barked happily, bouncing between us on the bed. His paws landed dangerously close to sensitive areas, making us both wince.
“Alright, alright.” Carter sat up, holding me tight to his chest. “I think that's our cue to get cleaned up.”
Before I could react, he scooped me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. I let out a surprised yelp, my arms flying around his neck.
“Carter! What are you doing?”
He grinned down at me, gray eyes dancing with mischief. “Taking you to the shower, of course. Can't have you walking around all sticky, can we?”
“I can walk.”
“Humor me,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead as he carried me towards the bathroom. “I like having you in my arms.”
Pete trotted after us, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. As we reached the bathroom door, Carter paused, looking down at the eager dog.
“Sorry, buddy. This is a humans-only party.”
I snickered as Carter closed the door with his foot, leaving a whining Pete on the other side. He set me down on the cool tile floor, and I immediately missed the warmth of his body.
Standing naked and exposed in my bathroom, insecurity washed over me. I wrapped my arms around myself, watching Carter as he fiddled with the shower faucet. He was bent over slightly, giving me the most delectable view of his bubble butt. So good. I longed to reach out and touch him, but my sudden shyness held me back.
He turned around to look at me, and his brow furrow with concern. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing. I'm fine.”
He rested his hands on my shoulders, his warm touch seeping into my skin. “Don’t do that. Talk to me. Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? Did I hurt you? ”
“No. No, of course not. It's just... It's been a while since anyone's seen me like this.”
Carter's eyes roamed over me. “You're beautiful, Olivia. Every inch of you.”
His sincerity brought a lump to my throat, and I ducked my head. “You're not so bad yourself.”
He chuckled. “Come on”—he took my hand—“let's get cleaned up.”
Carter led me to the shower, the steam billowing out as he opened the glass door. I stepped inside, sighing as the hot water cascaded over my skin, easing the tension in my muscles.
Carter followed, resting his hands on my hips as he stood behind me. He dropped a gentle kiss to my shoulder, his lips trailing up the side of my neck.
I leaned against him, resting my head against his chest and listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.
“This okay?” he asked, his voice hot in my ear.
I nodded, relaxing into his embrace. “More than okay.”
We stood like that for a while, letting the water wash away the remnants of our lovemaking. Carter's hands roamed my back, kneading away the soreness in my muscles. I sighed contentedly.
“Turn around,” Carter said, reaching for the shampoo bottle. “Let me wash your hair.”
I complied, purring as his strong fingers massaged my scalp. The gentle ministrations soothed away the last of my anxiety, replacing it with a growing warmth in my belly.
“You're good at this,” I drawled, enjoying the impromptu head massage.
“I aim to please. ”
He rinsed the shampoo from my hair. “There. All clean.”
I opened my eyes, looking up into the face of the gorgeous, complicated man that made me feel cherished, safe, and beautiful in a way I hadn't in years. I rose on my tiptoes, kissing him soundly. “Thank you.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Sunny.”
I smiled against his lips, and he swiped his tongue along the seam until I opened for him. The kiss was languid and sensual, less crazed and urgent than it had been earlier.
God, he's a good kisser.
I felt him harden. Our bodies were pressed so close together that it was impossible not to. I pulled back and raised an eyebrow.
He looked a bit sheepish. “What? I can't help it. Have you seen you?”
Emboldened by his words, I ushered him back a step, then two, until the backs of his knees hit the shower bench seat. I slid my hands down his perfect, muscled chest and back up again, applying pressure on his shoulders to encourage him to sit.
Seated, he was eye level with my chest. I took his hands and placed them on my waist before guiding them up to cup my breasts. Carter took control, gently squeezing them and rolling my nipples between his thumb and forefinger.
My head lolled backward and I moaned, loving the sensation of his hands on my body. But I quickly gathered myself; there was something I wanted to do for him. Without warning, I dropped to my knees.
Carter gripped the edge of the bench. “Liv, you don't have?—”
“I want to. Let me.”
He nodded, and I placed my hands on his knees, gliding them up his strong thighs. He leaned back against the shower wall, widening his legs to make room for me.
I ran my hand over the steely length of his erection. His breath stuttered, and his eyes drifted closed for a moment. Then he opened them, staring down at me with an intensity that made my core clench.
I palmed the heavy weight of him before pumping my hand up and down. My thumb brushed his tip, gathering a bead of moisture and smearing it along his shaft. Carter hissed, bucking his hips.
I leaned forward, dragging my tongue along the slit. He groaned, fisting his hands in my hair. Experimentally, I took his head in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and savoring the saltiness of his arousal.
“Fuck,” he whispered, his hips jerking gently.
Encouraged by his reaction, I opened wider, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. With one hand gripping his thigh and the other sliding along his shaft in time with my mouth, I found a rhythm that made him grunt and groan. His fingers tightened in my hair, guiding me as I bobbed my head.
When I peered up at him through my lashes, his eyes were darker and stormier than I'd ever seen them, filled with a hunger that had me squeezing my thighs together.
“So damn good. If you don't stop now, I'm gonna come.”
I hummed appreciatively around him. I wanted to taste all of him.
“Jesus, yes!” Carter's self-control snapped, and he thrust up, fucking my mouth once, twice, three times before he spilled down my throat. I slowed my pace and swallowed before reluctantly releasing him. He grabbed me under the arms and hoisted me up, settling me across his lap.
“Have I told you that you're perfect? Because you are. Utterly fucking perfect.”
I giggled, almost giddy.
It would be dangerously easy to get used to this.
“I could get used to this.”
It was after midnight, and Carter Cassidy was making pancakes in my kitchen. After drying off and dressing—me in my favorite soft pink nightgown and Carter in nothing but his black boxer briefs—we agreed we needed to refuel.
“Don't. I'm not a very good cook,” he said, watching the griddle intently. “After Mom died, it was mostly takeout for Dad and me.”
“Will you tell me about her?”
“My mom?”
He looked over his shoulder at me, and I nodded. His shoulders tensed as he flipped a pancake. “She was extraordinary. Beautiful, smart, kind. The type of person who lit up a room.”
I leaned my hip against the counter, giving him space but staying close. “How did your parents meet?”
A wistful smile crossed his face. “High school sweethearts. They married young, right after graduation. My dad worshiped the ground she walked on.”
The griddle sizzled as he poured more batter. “I was twelve when it started. She'd always been active—yoga, running, you name it. But suddenly, she was in constant pain. Some days she couldn't even get out of bed.”
“Did they ever figure out what was wrong?”
Carter shook his head, his jaw tight. “No. Went to specialist after specialist. No one could give us answers. She'd have good days and bad days, but the pain never really went away.”
He slid the finished pancakes onto a plate and handed it to me. As I took it, our fingers brushed, and I saw the raw emotion in his eyes.
“It was hard watching her suffer,” he continued. “She tried to hide it, especially from me. But it was obvious how much it wore her down.”
I set the plate aside and touched his arm. “Carter, I'm so sorry.”
His throat bobbed. “I was sixteen when... when she couldn't take it anymore. I found her. My dad never recovered from losing her. Neither of us did, really.”
His words hung in the air between us. I thought of my own struggles with chronic pain, the dark moments when it seemed overwhelming. But I'd had support, doctors who believed me, treatments that helped. Carter's mother had none of that.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I said. “I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you.”
Carter turned off the stove and shifted to face me. “It's why I pushed you about seeing Mel. Why I reacted the way I did when I realized you were in pain. The thought of you suffering like that…”
He shook his head. I stepped closer, winding my arms around his middle. He tensed for a moment before relaxing into the embrace and resting his chin on my head.
“I'm okay,” I murmured against his chest. “I have a good doctor, thanks to you. I'm getting help. It's not the same situation.”
His arms tightened around me. “I know. Logically, I know that. But seeing you in pain, it brought everything back.”
We remained like that, both reluctant to let go. The only sounds were the quiet hum of the refrigerator and our steady breathing.
“You know,” I said eventually, pulling back enough to look up at him. “You claim not to be a good cook, but these pancakes smell amazing.”
A lopsided smile creased the corner of his mouth. “Well, pancakes are my specialty. It's about the only thing I can make without burning down the kitchen.”
“I'll have to expand your culinary horizons. How about next time, I teach you how to make my famous apple pie?”
“Next time, huh? Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren't we, Sunny?”
“Oh, I don't know. I think after tonight, you owe me at least one more home-cooked meal. Even if I have to do most of the cooking.”
“I suppose that's fair.” He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Now, let's eat these pancakes before they get cold. I worked hard on them, after all.”
As we settled at the small kitchen table, plates piled high with slightly misshapen but delicious-smelling pancakes, I marveled at how much had changed in one night. Carter had shared a painful part of his past. He’d been vulnerable with me, letting me see the man behind the grouch.
I reached over and took his hand. “Thank you.”
Carter intertwined his fingers with mine. “For what? The mediocre pancakes?”
“For letting me in.”
His eyes softened, and he tightened his grip on my hand. “Thank you for listening. For understanding.”
After I watched Carter pour an obscene amount of syrup on his stack, we ate in comfortable silence. It wasn't just pancakes we were sharing—this was a whole new kind of intimacy. It was both exhilarating and a little scary.
I woke up with Carter Cassidy in my bed.
I woke up with Carter Cassidy in my bed and his mouth on my lady bits.
My moan startled Pete who was lying on my pillow, curled around my head. He gave a disgruntled woof and leaped off the bed. Carter didn't miss a beat. His tongue traced intricate patterns, sending shivers through my body. I buried my hands in his dark hair, urging him closer.
“Good morning to you too,” I gasped, arching my back.
He hummed against me, the vibrations intensifying the sensations. His hands gripped my thighs, holding me in place as he worked his magic.
I glanced down. The raw desire in his eyes made my breath catch. This man who'd been so closed-off was now utterly focused on my pleasure.
“Carter,” I moaned, my hips rocking against his mouth, “I'm close.”
He redoubled his efforts, alternating between broad strokes and pinpoint precision. The tension built, winding tighter and tighter until it snapped. I cried out, waves of ecstasy washing over me.
As I came down from my high, Carter kissed his way up my body. His stubble scraped deliciously against my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. When he reached my lips, I tasted myself on his tongue.
He hovered above me, weight braced on his forearms bracketing my head. “Good morning.”
“That's one way to wake up.” I stretched my limbs and nipped at his lower lip before my eyes shifted to my alarm clock.
“Oh my gosh! It's 10 a.m.? We're late for work!”
Carter smirked. “It's fine. I talked to the boss. He said it was worth it.”
“ You are the boss. And you have a meeting in thirty minutes.”
“I moved it.”
“Without the help of your assistant? How did you possibly manage?”
“Watch it, Ms. Friedman, or I'll have to report you to HR.”
“Don't get me fired. I don't think my resume would survive it.” I nudged him playfully with my foot.
“Never. Unless you want to be fired. I can't imagine you’d be happy to be a grumpy architect's assistant for the rest of your life.”
I paused, my mind drifting to possibilities I hadn't considered in a while. “I’d love to go back to the humane society someday, if I can.”
“Why'd you leave in the first place?”
I sighed. “Ethan wanted me to focus on getting pregnant and starting a family. He thought it would be easier if I didn't have to juggle work and fertility treatments.”
Carter's expression darkened. “And you agreed?”
“At the time, it seemed like the right decision,” I admitted. “I loved my job, but I wanted a family too. It was supposed to be temporary, just until we had a baby.”
“But it wasn't,” Carter said, his voice low and steady.
I shook my head, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
Carter's arms tightened around me. He rolled onto his back and pulled me onto his chest. “I'm sorry, Olivia.”
“It's not your fault,” I whispered, burying my face in his neck. “But it feels like I lost everything. My job, my dreams of having a family. And then Ethan left me too.”
Carter was silent for a moment, sifting his fingers through my hair. Then he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. “If you want to go back to the humane society, then we'll make it happen. I'll help any way I can.”
I smiled, wriggling further into his embrace. “Thank you. That means so much to me.”
Carter brought a hand to my cheek and brushed away a stray tear with his thumb. “You deserve to be happy.”
As we lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, I realized I believed him.