25. Chapter Twenty-Five
chapter twenty-five
. . .
Olivia
The whoosh-whoosh-whoosh filled the room, rapid and strong. I held my breath as I heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time. Hot tears welled up, and I gripped Carter's hand tighter.
“Is that...?” He stared wide-eyed at the grainy black-and-white image on the screen.
Mel nodded, a warm smile spreading across her face. “That's your baby's heartbeat. Strong and healthy, just what we want to see.”
My eyes were glued to the monitor. The tiny blob on the screen barely resembled a baby, but knowing that it was ours—a little piece of Carter and me—made it the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
“Look at that,” Carter whispered. He leaned in closer, squinting as if trying to memorize every detail. “That's our kid.”
Our kid. The reality of it hit me all at once, and a sob rose in my chest. This man who had freed me from so much of pain— both physical and emotional—was the father of my child. Our child.
“You okay, Sunny?” Carter’s thumb caressed the back of my hand. I nodded, my throat too tight to speak. Mel handed me a tissue.
“Happy tears are very common in this room,” she said. “Now, let's take a closer look and get some measurements.”
As she moved the ultrasound wand over my gel-covered belly, I thought back to how nervous we'd both been when we arrived at the office. The waiting room had been filled with other expectant couples, some further along than us, others looking as nervous as we felt. I'd fidgeted with a pamphlet, my eyes darting around the room, feeling like an imposter among these “real” pregnant women.
But Carter had been there for me, as always. He'd held my hand, giving it reassuring squeezes whenever he sensed my anxiety rising. When the nurse called my name, startling us both, we'd exchanged a look that said everything words couldn't. Come what may, we were in this together.
Now, watching Mel point out different features on the ultrasound, I felt a sense of calm. This was real. We were really doing this.
Carter's voice pulled me from my thoughts. “So, what exactly are we looking at here, Doc? I mean, I can see something , but...”
Mel chuckled. “Don't worry, it's normal to have trouble making sense of ultrasound images at first. Here, let me show you.”
She pointed to different areas on the screen, explaining what we were seeing. “This curved part here is the head. And see this fluttering movement? That's the heart. ”
I watched Carter's face as he attempted to decipher the blurry image. The look of wonder in his eyes brought an exquisite ache to my chest.
He peered closer, head tilted to one side. ”It's so small.”
“About the size of a raspberry right now,” Mel confirmed, “but growing fast. By your next appointment, you'll see a big difference. And based on these measurements, I'd say you're about eight weeks along.”
“Eight weeks,” I repeated. My mind raced back, trying to pinpoint the exact moment our little one came into existence. Was it that night after Marco's party? Or maybe during our pumpkin carving escapade?
“Everything looks perfect for this stage of development.“ As Mel continued her explanation, detailing the baby's growth and what we should expect in the coming weeks, my thoughts drifted. The sound of our baby's heartbeat became a soothing rhythm. I lay back and let it wash over me.
In that moment, I allowed myself to hope. To believe that this time would be different. That this little raspberry-sized miracle would grow and thrive. That in seven months, we'd be holding our baby in our arms.
“Sunny? You still with us?”
I opened my eyes to find Carter and Mel looking at me with worried expressions. “Sorry,” I said, managing a smile. “Just taking it all in.”
Mel gave an understanding nod. “It can be overwhelming. Do you have any questions or concerns?”
I hesitated, the fears I'd been pushing down bubbling to the surface. “Is everything really okay? I mean, given my history... ”
Mel's expression softened. “I know you're worried. And it's natural to feel that way. But right now, everything looks perfect. The baby's size is just where we’d want it to be, there’s a nice strong heartbeat, and you're healthy.” She placed a comforting hand on my arm. “We'll be monitoring you closely throughout this pregnancy, but try not to let fear overshadow the joy of this moment. You're doing great.”
I nodded, blinking rapidly. Carter kissed my hand. “We've got this, Sunny. One day at a time, remember?”
“One day at a time,” I echoed.
Mel gave us a moment before speaking again. “Alright, let's get you cleaned up and then we can talk about next steps.”
As I wiped the gel off my stomach and sat up, a wave of dizziness washed over me. Carter steadied me with a hand on my back.
“You okay?”
I nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, just got up too fast. I'm fine.”
Mel handed me a glass of water. “Make sure you're staying hydrated. It's easy to forget, but it's crucial for both you and the baby.”
I sipped the water gratefully as Mel went over our next steps. Prenatal vitamins, dietary recommendations, things to avoid—it was a lot to take in, even though I'd been through it all before. Carter listened intently and asked lots of questions. I could see the gears turning in his head, probably already planning how to baby-proof his pristine house.
“Oh, and before you go,” Mel said, “I've got a little something for you. ”
She handed us a strip of ultrasound photos, and my breath caught. There, in grainy black-and-white, was our baby. Our little raspberry.
Carter took the photos and studied them reverently. “Wow,” he breathed. “Can you believe this?”
I was overcome with emotion. “It's amazing.”
As we left the office, Carter carefully tucked the ultrasound photos into his wallet like they were precious treasures. My big tough, grumpy man was already turning into a doting dad.
In the car, I relaxed into my seat, one hand resting on my still-flat stomach. It was hard to believe there was a person growing in there.
“You're awfully quiet,” Carter said as he navigated through traffic. “What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
I turned to look at him, taking in his profile. The strong jaw, the hint of stubble, the crease between his brows as he concentrated on the road. How had this man, who I'd once found so intimidating, become my safe place?
“It’s a lot to take in,” I said.
He reached over and took my hand. “I know. But whatever comes our way, we'll face it as a team.”
“I know we will. I just...I can't help but worry, you know? What if something goes wrong? What if I can't carry to term again? What if?—”
“Hey. No what-ifs. Remember what Mel said? Right now, everything is perfect. Our little raspberry is healthy and growing. That's what we focus on.”
I sighed. “You're right. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be such a downer. I am excited, I promise. It's just... ”
“Scary,” Carter finished for me. “I know. It's okay to be scared, Olivia. Hell, I'm terrified. But I'm also happier than I've ever been in my life. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I get to do this with you. Because in seven months, we're going to meet this little person we created together. And that's... that's fucking incredible.”
Fresh tears blurred my vision. “When did you get so good at this?”
“Must be all those romance novels Wick's been forcing me to read.”
I giggled and wiped my eyes with my hand. “Care to share your reading list?”
“A gentleman never reveals his secrets,” he said with a wink.
It was nice to banter back and forth. I felt almost normal again. Yes, our lives were about to change dramatically. Yes, there were still fears and uncertainties ahead. But with Carter by my side, somehow everything seemed manageable.
When we got home, Pete met us at the door, his tail wagging furiously. As I bent to pet him, I wondered how he'd react to the new addition to our little family—assuming we made it that far.
“You know,” Carter said as we settled on the couch, Pete curling up at our feet, “we're going to have to tell people soon.”
“I want to wait. Last time…” I faltered, unable to finish the thought.
Carter slid an arm around my shoulders. As always, his touch grounded me. “That’s fine. We can wait until you're ready.”
“Maybe Thanksgiving?”
“Sure. Thanksgiving sounds good. ”
I bit my lip, anxious to voice my next request while I still had the courage. “Can we… host?”
Carter raised his eyebrows. “You want to host Thanksgiving here?”
“It was just an idea. We don't have t—” I backpedaled frantically.
But Carter's face split into a grin. “I'd love to have Thanksgiving here, Sunny.”
“Okay! But maybe we should tell my mom first. And your dad?”
Carter's mouth tightened almost imperceptibly. “Definitely your mom. I don’t think we need to tell my dad early.”
My heart hurt at the resignation in his voice. “Carter, don't be silly. He's your only family.”
I realized my hand had drifted to my stomach as I spoke. Carter followed the movement, his expression softening. “ You are my family.” His large hand covered mine, warm and protective. “Both of you.”
As I snuggled closer to Carter, Pete snoring at our feet, a feeling of contentment washed over me. Our little family—Carter, me, Pete, and our raspberry—we were going to be okay.