Chapter 20
Benson
My very insides seem to quiver as I pop the button on Remi’s jeans. His briefs are bright yellow, and something about that soothes me. It’s familiar. Right. As colorful as the man laid before me on his bed.
He lifts his hips so I can tug the fabric down. First his pants. Then his briefs.
I don’t let myself get tangled in the uncertainty. Remi’s voice doesn’t let me, either. “That’s good, Ben. The way you’re looking at me.”
I believe it. Even more when I lift my eyes to find Remi’s face. He’s still up on his elbows, his lips starkly red, like rose petals. His eyes are spring blue but stormy, leaving me no choice but to be caught in the swell.
He’s as beautiful as any of the deities carved into statues. But he’s not stone. He’s brimming with life, every inch of him warm and calling for touch. To be worshiped. Cared for. Caressed.
I run my fingers down the tops of his thighs, his cock impossible to miss. He’s hard, the tiniest drop of precum pearling at his tip. He’s not hairless, and it eases me to see. I’m not, either.
Remi widens his legs ever so slightly, a clear invitation. I bring my lips to the inside of his thigh, his sigh sounding as if it’s dragged from the very depths of his chest.
“So good, Ben.”
Sucking in a breath, I kiss lower. The inside of his knee. His calf. It becomes ritualistic, covering every piece of him in kiss and touch. I find the spots that affect him most, locking each away in a vault I can return to. His lips. The base of his neck. The juncture of his hip and thigh.
When I finally bring my lips to his cock, it feels like providence.
Remi sucks in a breath, holding himself still as I work my way from base to tip, his skin near scorching under my mouth and tongue.
My name comes garbled, a choked-out, “Ben,” that has me licking the precum off him without thought.
It’s not bad, the taste of him. The smell.
It’s unique in a way I know will forever be attached to this. To him and me in this way.
Feeling more confident than before, I wrap my lips around his cock.
“Ah. Fuck. Good boy.”
Remi’s breathy encouragement has a flash of heat settling in my gut, like an electric kick to the balls. It takes me a second to recover, to move or even breathe or do anything with the cock in my mouth.
How the hell do people fit these things in their throat? It’d be like swallowing the length of a spoon.
“Don’t overthink it,” Remi says with a soft chuckle. Perhaps he can see me running the math in my head. “What you’re doing feels great. You can just…suck the top if you want. That’s good.”
Taking his words to heart, I suck gently as I run my thumb along the tendon of his inner thigh.
His cock jerks in my mouth, a panting moan accompanying his curse.
Digging my thumb in gently, I put pressure on the sensitive spot as I get a hold of the base of his cock.
Remi’s leg shakes until I lift my thumb, giving him just a second before I press deep again.
He fucks up into my mouth, muttering a quick, “Sorry, sorry,” as I cough.
I shoot him an, ‘OK,’ with my fingers, pressing my lips to his thigh and catching my breath.
“I want to ask how you zeroed in on that so damn fast, but I’m pretty sure you don’t actually miss much, huh?”
Not when it comes to you.
I don’t share the sentiment, instead lifting up and wrapping my lips around his cock once more.
It’s not yet familiar, the weight of him on my tongue, but I think I could become addicted to it.
To the feel of Remi. To his punched-out breaths and soft moans.
Not to mention the words he shares so easily.
“That’s so good, Ben. When you flick your tongue like that? Yeah. That. Makes me want to empty down your throat. Could you squeeze your hand? Fuck. Yes.”
I’m more than positive I’m making a mess of the blowjob, but Remi doesn’t seem to mind. He falls back against the bed, one hand sinking into my hair and his knees bracketing me. Having him tremble from my touch, feeling him swell against my tongue, emboldens me. It makes me feel…proud, in a way.
I want Remi to feel good. I want him to have everything he deserves.
“You’re perfect,” he breathes out, his words combined with the soft moan that follows sending a jolt straight through me.
My own cock throbs, my breath stuttering as I wrap an arm around Remi’s leg.
He’s leaking onto my tongue now. I can taste it, fresh waves as he gets closer to the edge.
“Christ, Ben. Do you know how sexy you look right now? Wrapped around me with your lips sinking over my cock? Jesus. If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, you need to pull back. ”
Does he want me to pull back?
I look up, finding Remi’s face. His expression is caught in a euphoric sort of anguish. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes hooded, and he appears strung tight. As if he’s doing everything in his power to keep himself in check.
He drops his head back for only a second before his gaze meets mine again, a half-smile forming on his face.
“Fuck, Ben. You wanna be good and swallow me down? Is that it?” His hand shifts from my hair to my hollowed cheek.
“I won’t stop you. I’d live here if I could.
This mouth was made for me. Every kiss, every—fuck—smile, every time you suck me down, I think I can’t want you more. And every time, you prove me wrong.”
I swallow reflexively, and Remi’s hips jerk, his cock fucking through my fist. I close my eyes tight, trying to hold on to the tiny thread keeping my emotions from snapping.
But it’s so much. Remi’s cockhead sliding against my tongue, his words filling my chest too full to bursting, the cloudiness in my head that brings with it a brief flash of panic.
Because I feel so nearly out of control, and that’s not a circumstance I’ve ever found comfort in.
Except it doesn’t feel scary, does it? This loose, floating, desperate urge to let myself get lost. I’m not alone. Remi is here, telling me how fucking good it feels inside my mouth, muttering that he’s close, that he’s trying so hard to make this last. But I’m too perfect. Too good to him.
“Oh fuck, Ben. Look at you.”
I don’t know what he’s seeing, but his cock is swelling between my lips. Pressing his leg out wide, I drag my hand up his thigh before scraping blunt nails against the crux of his hip. Remi’s cock kicks, a small burst hitting my tongue before he’s coming in earnest.
It’s all I can do to keep up with him, swallowing, trying to catch my breath, my heart beating so fast I can feel the rhythm in my throat.
Remi’s hand soothes through my hair as I clean his cock with my tongue. I can’t seem to stop, not knowing what comes next, afraid, maybe, of what I’ll find in Remi’s eyes.
“Ben,” he says softly. It’s so familiar, so coated in satisfaction I can’t help but meet his gaze. He looks drunk yet clear-headed all at once. His smile is warm, one side of his mouth pulled up. “Was that okay?”
I nod, my pulse still racing.
He gives my hair a gentle tug, asking for me to join him higher on the bed. I follow his draw, Remi’s hands forming his next question. ‘Are you sure? You seemed…startled when I came. If you don’t like swallowing, that’s okay.’
It takes me a minute to answer him, having to stop and restart a few times as I struggle for the right signs. ‘It wasn’t bad. I’m not sure I’d drink a glass of it, but it went right down. It was just…different than I’m used to. I had to focus on not drowning.’
Remi barks a laugh, his smile so light I feel bathed in it. Ever so slowly, he moves his hands again. ‘You were so, so good for me, Ben.’
I can feel my flush spreading down my cheeks, my chest, my breath drawing tight with it.
‘Will you let me touch you now?’ he asks.
‘Please,’ I all but beg, not entirely sure how I didn’t come when Remi did.
With a wide grin, Remi rolls to his knees, his fingers slipping beneath my shirt.
I lift my arms, helping him get the material off over my head.
Remi groans as his hands trail down over me, my chest hairier than his, my body larger.
He called me sexy earlier, and while that’s a concept I have a hard time grasping when it comes to myself, it’s clear to me that Remi enjoys what he’s seeing.
I don’t need to understand it to accept it as truth.
Remi tilts my head up, his lips meeting mine in a slow, drugging kiss. He must not mind the taste of himself on my tongue.
His words whisper over my lips. “What do you want, Ben?”
I shake my head a little. ‘I don’t know.’
Remi frowns at my hands before his eyes are back on mine. He toys with the button on my jeans, popping it slowly. “There’s a whole lot I enjoy. Touching. Using my mouth. I’d be happy to eat your ass if that’s something you’ve prepped for. I like being fucked. I like fucking.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, Remi’s smirk letting me know he caught my lips forming the curse.
His fingers dive a little further, making my breath hitch when he brushes my cock. “Is it hard for you to choose?”
I pull in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as Remi waits patiently, his forefinger drawing a slow line up and down my cock over my briefs. Lifting my hands, I give him the most honest answer I can. ‘I have a hard time with…being the focus.’
He nods slowly, his finger continuing its tortuous path. “Is that why you wanted the focus on me?”
‘In part,’ I admit. ‘I also needed to touch you. Get my mouth on you. I wanted to make you feel good.’
Remi groans, a low sound, his fingers curling more firmly over my cock. “Christ, Ben. Do I have your permission to get you out of your head and make you come your brains out?”
A beat passes. ‘That’s a mental image.’
Remi laughs brightly, although he’s clearly still waiting for my answer. I nod, and he draws his bottom lip beneath his teeth, the abused flesh popping free before he speaks.
“Then I’m going to hang my head off the side of this mattress. And you’re going to be a good boy and fuck my throat.”
“Jesus Christ, Remi.”