Chapter One
“There must be some mistake.” Frankie Watson looked around the pretty little two-bedroom apartment. It was on the second floor and had a view of the New York University at Pine Ridge sign, nestled against its riot of orange and red mums.
“Well, ordinarily students who receive a full scholarship are given free board at the dorms, but as you have a child, the housing stipend will cover this apartment for two years while you matriculate.”
For the millionth time in her daughter’s short life, Frankie gave thanks that she hadn’t listened to her useless ex.
A married man with an opioid addiction, Burke had wanted Frankie to “get rid of it” more for his own sake than any consideration for her future.
But even with all the struggles of single parenthood, Bella had never been anything but a blessing, and she was once again opening doors to better places.
“We’d love an apartment instead of a dorm. I did the dorm scene when I was at Offenburg.”
The lady showing her around gave a polite smile. She’d never heard of Offenburg, and Frankie wasn’t surprised. It was a tiny college that had a strong swimming program and not much else going for it.
“What was your major at Offenbach, dear?”
“Offenburg. I was majoring in physical education and swimming competitively for their NCAA Division III team. I decided I wanted to get into medical technology after witnessing some great athletes lose their dreams to pain medicine after injuries.” And after my married head coach knocked me up while he was high out of his mind. While we both were.
Frankie shook off bad memories. Four years clean and sober, three years and eight months of rocking this mommy thing even though it meant living with her mother and packing frozen potatoes for twelve-hour shifts at the Hash and Fries plant.
“Well, it was noble of you to turn your empathy into something that will make a difference. Now, I’m just the student housing liaison. If you need anything adjusted with your schedule, you’ll need to see the dean in charge of transfer students, Dr. Shaeffer.”
“Thank you, I will.”
“Mommy, can we go to that park? That park!” Bella, who had been quietly poking at her favorite busy book, was now standing on tiptoes in front of the window and pointing at the campus.
“That’s not a park, sweetie.”
“Oh, but there is one, not far from here. And there is a very nice preschool in Pine Ridge.”
“Just one?” Frankie’s stomach sank. What if they didn’t have openings?
Her mother had offered to move in with her until she found childcare, but she was hoping to avoid that.
Her mother meant well, but... They had never seen eye-to-eye on her taste in men, clothes, hair, tattoos, or careers.
They had two things in common. They loved each other, and they would do anything for Bella.
“Oh, I’m sure there’s more than just one, but this one’s very popular and they give a discount for students and faculty.
That’s how I got to hear about it. I sent my own children there when they were little.
” The woman gave her an encouraging smile.
“Judy Mcleaod runs it— Bright Stars Preschool. If you can’t find the number, I’ll be glad to help you. ”
“No, I’ll look it up.” Frankie smiled and nodded, eager to conclude this discussion. She wasn’t used to personal service or such an abundance of attention from—well, anyone, actually.
Her mother said it was because Frankie gave off a tattooed biker chick vibe. Frankie said it was because people were dicks.
“Mommy! I do see a park! See the flowers?” Bella was insisting as Frankie showed the campus liaison out.
Bella’s words broke her heart. Her baby girl thought that anything green meant a park because she had only known concrete and apartments. Even their potted plants had failed to thrive and never made it to the flowering stage.
“That’s just Mommy’s school. Let’s go find the park, sweetie!
” Frankie locked the new apartment with a feeling of pride and humble gratitude.
This wasn’t a handout. She had applied for a scholarship for “Women in Medical Technology,” and she’d won it because of her kickass essay.
The admissions officer had said they were impressed with Frankie’s “passionate reflections” about her personal experiences.
Frankie could believe it. Who wouldn’t be passionate about wanting a career in medical technology after watching potential Olympians become drug addicts because insurance approved painkillers more than assistive technology, therapy, and rehabilitation?
Frankie was sure having three years of credits and being twenty-six helped, too. Compared to other students, she was probably old and boring. Old, boring, and a safe bet.
“Good. I want to be old and boring,” Frankie murmured as she re-tied Bella’s shoes.
“You’re not boring!” Bella pulled Frankie’s long, milk chocolate brown hair from its messy bun.
“Oh, yeah? What about old?” Frankie kissed her daughter’s chubby cheeks and then her button of a nose.
“So old!” Bella giggled madly and pulled out two more handfuls of hair.
“Bella-Boo, stop. You’re making Mommy look like a scarecrow.”
“Can we have a house with a garden and scarecrow?” Bella held up her book. It was about the four seasons, and the section about fall was a burst of oranges, yellows, reds, and pastoral life.
“Yes. Yes, we’re going to do that one day, honey.” Frankie set her jaw and held Bella’s hand, leading them toward the cute little town of Pine Ridge. Maybe they’d find a park on the way. She’d at least get bearings. Clear her mind.
Her mind needed to be cleared because it was a horrible tangle.
I want to get this degree. Good degree means a good job. Good job means a house. House means happy Bella with the things she deserves and the best life she could ever have.
Reality check. Good job means good money, but bills are real and houses aren’t cheap. It’ll take five to ten years before you, a single working mom, have the money for a down payment. Bella could be ten or even thirteen before she has a yard and flowers of her own.
“A pumpkin patch! A big one! Sunflowers!”
“So pretty, Bella.” Frankie’s mouth gave a guilty twitch, and her eyes refocused on their surroundings. Was Bella saying more things she wanted in her imaginary yard? Or was she pointing out something in someone else’s yard? Either way, it heightened her resolve.
Bella should grow up having those things, and not have to wait until she’s a teenager.
“Mama! And a dog? A puppy, please, Mama!”
It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have filled her head with all those stories about a new life.
But that was the only way I could make her understand why we were moving away from my mother.
What kid wants to leave their only home and their beloved grandma?
A kid who thinks the new place will be bigger, better, and make their dreams come true.
“I’ll check and see what the lease says. Maybe not a puppy. Maybe a cat.”
“A kitten!”
“Maybe. If not, maybe a guinea pig.”
“A piggie!” Bella danced on the corner.
People smiled.
Frankie’s shoulders relaxed a little bit, and she started looking around in earnest. There were dozens of people walking around the town, enjoying the first Friday of cooler fall weather and looking forward to having Labor Day off on Monday.
That meant a four-day weekend for her and Bella, since they’d taken a day to move.
It did seem nice. Not fake nice—real nice. People were calling out to each other and hurrying across the street to stop and have conversations. There were small shops with unique names, not big nationwide chains that felt predictable and sterile, even if they were convenient.
And there were kids. Kids with moms and dads pushing them in strollers, carrying them in baby backpacks, holding hands, and steering them away from the street.
My little girl deserves that. Frankie’s eyes fixed on a very handsome brunette, his gorgeous wife, and their twins.
Burke, Bella’s father, AKA Burke the Jerk, had other kids. Those other kids lived in his big McMansion, with a big yard, and attended a private school. They took vacations to Cancun and got cars for their sixteenth birthdays.
Burke didn’t pay any support for Bella, and Frankie was glad.
It was part of their unspoken, unwritten agreement—she wouldn’t ask him for any money, and he wouldn’t ask her for any custody—not that he wanted any.
Frankie didn’t want her daughter to grow up and find out what a skeezy slimeball her biological father was.
She also didn’t trust Burke around her precious daughter.
She shuddered inside at the very thought.
Frankie and Burke had met while he was her coach.
If he had started a relationship with one of the students on his team, who was to say that he wouldn’t cross other boundaries?
It didn’t bear thinking about.
Besides, other thoughts were assailing her.
I’m going to do better than getting Bella a dog. I’m going to get my baby a dad.
A clean-cut respectable dad. A fun, sweet, caring, straight-shooting dad. Two parents with two good jobs equal a house sooner. A big green lawn with flowerbeds, scarecrows, and a swing set just for her. And maybe siblings. Okay, and dogs. Anything she wants that I can give her
“Mama?”
“Sorry. What is it?” Frankie snapped back to reality and realized that her little one had been speaking for a while and waiting for a response.
“Do you like it here?”
“I think so, Bella. Do you?”
“I think so. Mama! A park!”
Frankie looked where Bella was pointing, and this time, her little girl was right. There was a park full of kids, slides, and sandboxes. “Let’s go!”