Erin
My heart is full. I don’t know how else to describe it.
I thought initiation as a Big was special, but seeing Skyler pin Cassie during our initiation brought an entirely new kind of pride to my heart.
I watched as each of the new girls listened to our founding principles, committing them to memory and swearing to keep them secret for life.
Their eyes were wide, their expressions eager – it was an amazing sight to behold.
For me, it always seems too short. We’ve been preparing for weeks, but already the ceremonial clothing is packed away, along with the candles and ritual books, and sisters are scattered around the hotel venue taking photos with their lines.
Spotting my line, I pull my phone from my Kate Spade purse.
“Cheese!” I snap the photo before any of them have the chance to realize what I’m doing and they all groan in unison.
“Not fair!” Kelsey shrieks.
“Seriously this time,” I say, grouping them together.
I find another sister to take our photo and jump in right behind Skyler.
We make a long line, starting with Siomara at the top standing on a chair and ending with Cassie on her knees.
Our family tree is one of the biggest in the sorority, since Siomara stays an extra semester to be president.
I love the feeling of being the largest and, in my opinion, the best.
After a dozen photos at the fountain and around the hotel garden, I steal Cassie away from the group.
“So, you’re officially a sister,” I say, grinning. “Do you feel different?”
Her smile is just as big as mine and I have a feeling she’ll be more like me than Skyler. She seems to have that same passion for history that I do. “Honestly, yes. I really do. And I wasn’t expecting that.”
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
She nods. “I have to admit, I was a little creeped out at the beginning. The dark room… candles… weird clothing.”
I laugh, nudging her. “Trust me, I was freaked out too. But you have to think, that ceremony was created in the late eighteen hundreds.”
“That gives me chills. How awesome to think how many sisters we have across the states.”
“Across the world,” I correct her. Cassie smiles wider and we walk the grounds of the hotel, talking about her roommate, classes, and a little about my family.
I don’t go into full detail, but I give her a little sneak into my parents and their craziness.
Her family seems to be the polar opposite of mine – loving, supportive, kind.
It makes me envy my Grand Little.
When we make our way back to the lobby where all the sisters are waiting for our charter bus, I notice Skyler is missing.
“Where’d Sky go?” I ask Siomara.
“She said she had some errands to run but that she’d see us at Ralph’s later.”
“Oh. Want to grab dinner, Cassie? We can go back to the house and get ready for Ralph’s afterward.”
“Yes!” she answers excitedly. “I’m starved.”
Siomara and Kelsey join us for dinner at the sushi restaurant on campus.
Glancing around the table at my sisters, I feel an overwhelming warmth envelop me.
In high school, I was lost. I went through so much that no one ever knew about – not even my parents.
It was the summer before my senior year when I found myself, and ever since then, I’ve thrown myself into everything I love – this sorority being one of those things.
Some people go to college for the education, some for the parties, some to find love. Me? Well, I guess I want all of those things, too – but more than anything, I want memories. I want friendship. And I know without a doubt that I’ve found both in Kappa Kappa Beta.
***
We’re still laughing as we pile into the sorority house, Kelsey and Siomara heading up to the President Bedroom while Cassie and I made our way to my room.
“Do you need to borrow clothes or did you bring some?”
Cassie’s mouth pulls to the side. “I didn’t bring any. Would you mind letting me borrow something?”
“Of course not! Come on,” I lead her up the stairs. “I have the perfect outfit for you.”
I help Cassie dress in tight, dark jeans and a slinky black top with an open back before pulling out a simple red dress for me.
I can tell Cassie is new to the dressing up thing – almost as new as Skyler was last year when she rushed.
But, at least Cassie has some grasp on makeup and what to pair with an outfit.
Skyler is clueless. She’d much rather be in ratty jeans and a t-shirt and, more often than I care to see, she does end up in that.
But, when it comes to something important, she lets us dress her.
Thank God.
“I feel like it’s missing something,” Cassie says, staring at her reflection in the full-length mirror.
“Hmm… Oh! We need a pop of color. Skyler has some killer red heels she wore for some poker thing last semester. Let’s go steal them from her. Pair those with some red lipstick and you’re set!”
Giggling as we rush down the hallway to her room, we burst through the door and flick on the lights.
“Shit!” A voice says from beneath the covers on Skyler’s bed. Her head pops out and she’s completely flushed, her hair a mess and her makeup smeared. There’s someone else in the bed with her, but they won’t reveal themselves.
“Are you fucking serious, Skyler?!” I yell, but quickly close the door behind Cassie.
Lowering my voice, I storm to the bed and rip the covers back, revealing the guy from the Alpha Sigma concert.
“You have got to be kidding me. I know you did not bail early on initiation to bring a BOY back to the sorority house. Mom Cindy will literally skin you alive if she finds out!”
“Well, she doesn’t have to if you stop screaming!” Skyler whispers, giggling. The man in her bed is attractive, I’ll give her that. His dark hair is messy, but his even darker eyes are hooded with lust. Pair all that with his charming grin and I can see why she brought him back.
“Okay, you have two minutes to get him dressed and out of here.”
“Um,” she pauses, looking to the guy. “Could we maybe get like five?”
“Oh my God just get him out!” I throw the covers over both of them, grab her red heels from the bottom of her closet, and lead Cassie back to my room. I’m chuckling a little as we reach my door.
“Your Big,” I start, tossing her the heels. “She’s something else, that one.”
Cassie’s face is sheet white. “Yeah.”
“Are you okay?” I rush to her side. “Oh crap, did you eat bad sushi?”
“I’m fine.” Cassie slips on the heels as she hops into the bathroom. “Just let me put on some lipstick and I’ll be ready.”
“Perfect. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a drink. You have your fake, right?”
“Yeah,” she says, finishing the last coat of red on her lips. She packs the lipstick in her clutch and turns back to me, a new determination on her face. “And I don’t just need a drink. I need ten.”
“Now you’re talking like a KKB!”
I throw my arm around her shoulder, steering her out the door. Just as we reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door flies open and Ashlei stumbles through.
She’s still in her initiation dress, but the white fabric is wrinkled and stained in several places now. Her skin is covered in a light sheen of sweat and I can tell without a second glance that she’s been crying.
“Oh my God. Ashlei, what happened?”
Ashlei’s eyes are empty as they meet mine. She gazes around the foyer for a moment before closing the front door behind her and stumbling toward the stairs. “I’m fine. I’m skipping Ralph’s.”
She starts making her way up and Cassie and I exchange worried glances. “Ashlei,” I call out, following her. Cassie is on my heels. “You’re clearly not fine. What’s going on?”
“I said I’m fine!” she screams, turning on me. “God, Erin, you’re not my mother. Back off!” With that, she runs the last few stairs and a few seconds later I hear the door to our room slam shut. Swallowing, I turn back to Cassie.
“Do you want to stay with her?” she offers.
“No, no. She won’t talk to anyone when she’s like that. Let’s just go. I’ll talk to her in the morning.”
Cassie offers a soft smile and nods.
Regardless of the tension at the house, Cassie and I loosen up once we get to Ralph’s. Jess and Bo are already there and Skyler joins us not too long after, looking satisfied and ready to party. Jess high fives her when she finds out what happened and Bo buys her a shot. I can only shake my head.
Initiation is over. The semester is halfway over, too.
Looking around the bar at my sisters, I feel the heaviness of that settle in on me.
Something is going on with Ashlei, Skyler’s hiding something with Bear, Jess is skating on thin ice with a teacher and my parents are on my ass more than ever.
Sighing, I sip on my shitty college-bar martini.
I don’t have much time to think on all the drama, though, because Jess and Skyler jump up on the bar and start pouring shots straight out of the bottle into the mouths of students lining the barstools. I let out a laugh and raise my glass.
The KKB girls may be kind of crazy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.