Cassie #2
Then, his mouth is on Skyler’s stomach, sucking up every drop of tequila before he sucks the lime in her mouth and kisses her like they’re the only two in the room.
I laugh, cheering again as the crowd starts to disperse. Kip and Skyler continue making out, oblivious to the party still happening around them, and Jess nudges me as she heads toward the kitchen.
“Okay, I think I need a shot after that. You in?”
“Right behind ya.”
She weaves through the crowd toward the kitchen, me on her heels, but before I can slip through the opening and join her, I feel a strong, warm hand graze my hip.
I close my eyes, that hand grounding me to the spot where I stand, paralyzing me.
His lips graze the back of my neck, his chest pressed against my back as he whispers the first words since the night I spent in his bed.
“Hey there, Red.”
I fight against the smile cracking my face in two, spinning with his hand never leaving my hip, and then I’m face to face with the one guy I’ve always belonged to, yet never truly had.
I shove his shoulder, still smiling. “Don’t even start with that,” I warn, referring to the stupid nickname that every single person uses for the redheads in their life. He teased me with it the first semester we met, and never fails to use it to get under my skin when he gets the chance.
Adam just grins, his eyes a little glossy from drinking, the chocolate around his pupils shining in the dim light of the party.
He swallows, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and then we stand there — staring, smiling, shaking a little like two middle schoolers who were just dared to do seven minutes in heaven.
After a moment, I laugh, tucking a strand of my wild, fiery hair behind one ear. “How was your break?”
Adam leans in, his brows pinched together as he yells over the music and cheers coming from the game of flip cup taking place behind us. “What?”
“I said, how was your break?” I yell in return.
He smiles, looking around at all the chaos surrounding us before he reaches forward and grabs my hand without a second thought.
Adam turns, leading me through the crowd toward the back yard, all the while completely oblivious to the wave of electricity he just sent crashing through me with the touch of his hand.
I stare at his fingers laced with mine as he tugs me through the sea of students, smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
When we finally break through the crowd, Adam drops my hand to open the sliding glass door, and we step outside into the blissfully quiet night.
He shuts the door behind us, muffling the music and laughter from inside, and then it’s just the two of us alone on the empty patio.
The night air seems to buzz to life, warm and sticky between us even though it’s below fifty now and entirely too cold for any Floridian to be outside. The party rages on inside, but out here, it’s just me and Adam.
“There,” he says, guiding me over to where a small fire pit is going in the corner of the yard. “Maybe now we can actually hear each other.”
“Yeah, it’s a little crazy in there.”
Adam plops down in one of the chairs around the fire, and I stand, unsure where to sit. Do I take the chair across the fire? The one next to him?
But I don’t have time to make the decision before Adam makes it for me, reaching for my hand and pulling me easily down into his lap. He wraps his arms around me, blocking the cool wind, his eyes reflecting the low flicker of the fire.
“Hi,” he says.
I let out a long breath, smiling like a fool again. “Hi.”
“You’re nervous.”
“I am,” I admit on a soft laugh. “I don’t know why.”
“It’s just me.”
“I know, but…” I bite my lower lip, eyes searching his as my stomach drops to my feet.
The stinging reminder that he never called, never texted, never said anything to me after the night we spent together resurfaces, and my confidence shakes under the weight of it.
“What happened? I never heard from you after… you know, after everything.”
Adam’s eyes widen, his arms tightening around me. “Oh, God, Cassie. I’m so sorry, I thought that’s what you needed. I was just giving you some space,” he says quickly.
My eyes fall to my lap, but he thumbs my chin quickly, pulling my gaze back to him.
“I meant every word I said that night,” he says, sincerity laced through every word. “I’m here, Cassie, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m not letting go. But, I also don’t want to rush things,” he adds. “You’ve been through a lot, and I wanted to give you the time to process all of that.”
“So, you don’t want to be a rebound,” I whisper.
Adam chuckles. “I know I’m not a rebound,” he says, running one hand down my arm. He laces his fingers through my own, squeezing. “But, I also know that you’ve been hurt. Grayson hurt you. It’s okay to admit that, and it’s okay to take some time to sort through your feelings on all of it.”
“I don’t need time,” I say quickly. “I need you.”
“No, you don’t.”
My heart sinks further, in danger of drowning, but Adam squeezes my hand again.
“Cassie, you don’t need me. You don’t need anyone, because you’re an incredible girl on your own.
You’re smart — so fucking smart — and beautiful, and funny, and charming.
” He offers me a soft smile. “You’re unlike any girl I know.
And that’s why I think it’s important for us to take this slow,” he says.
“Because I want you to take the time you need to remember all of those things, to get back to Cassie McBee.”
My heart squeezes, and I smile, tears pooling in my eyes.
He’s right.
All break long, instead of thinking about me, about my goals, about the things I want for myself this semester, I just sat around thinking about Adam.
As soon as Grayson was gone, I filled that void with Adam, not even taking the time to process what happened, to let myself be hurt, or to stand on my own two feet again.
I was perfectly content crawling on bruised knees into Adam’s arms, to let him hold me and lean on him instead of standing on my own first.
The fact that he won’t let me do that shows me more than anything that he cares about me more than Grayson ever did.
“Don’t worry about me right now, because you’ve got me — I’m right here, and I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere.”
I sigh, nodding and leaning into his chest.
“I just missed you,” I confess. “But you’re right. We should take it slow.” I shake my head against his chest. “I mean, Grayson stuff aside, you used to date my Big and she has no idea I even had a crush on you.”
“You had a crush on me, huh?” Adam asks, smirking.
I pinch his side. “Shut up. I’m just saying, I should probably talk to her about everything before we make things official, too.”
He shifts, pulling me close until my eyes are locked on his again. His hands frame my face, the tips of his fingers brushing back into my hair.
“Hey, don’t worry about any of that right now, okay? Skyler will be fine, and you have plenty of time to tell her. Right now, I want you to focus on you.”
I nod, leaning my forehead against his. My chest is still tight, anxiety gripping my ribcage with force, but I know Adam’s right. It’s only been a few weeks since my break up with Grayson, since I found out the man I said I loved cheated on me just because I wouldn’t give it up fast enough.
My stomach turns.
Maybe I wanted to crawl to Adam because I knew it’d be easier, knew his arms would be waiting, and he’d know all the right words to say. I fled to his window that night because I knew he’d be there, just like he was the semester before, when Clay took my virginity and then slept with my roommate.
My dating record sucks.
A sigh flushes an anxious breath from my lips, and I nuzzle into Adam more, aching at the thought of taking thing slow with him when all I want is to lose myself in his warmth.
“Can I still kiss you?” I whisper after a moment.
Adam shakes his head, fingers gripping my hair a little tighter.
“You never have to ask. Kiss me anytime you want, Red.”
I laugh, shoving my hands into his chest to push him away but he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in tighter, and then without warning, his lips cover mine.
That kiss steals my next breath, holding it hostage as my hands fist in Adam’s hoodie. I tug and tug, wanting him closer, needing more of him — and he gives without question.
He always has.
One hand finds the back of my neck, pulling me into him as the other warms the exposed sliver of skin under the back of my sweatshirt.
And he doesn’t rush, doesn’t devour me, his lips taking their time tasting and kissing and exploring.
I’m reminded of the night spent in his sheets, and every nerve in my body begs me to pull him back into his room to relive that night, to take it to the next level.
But I can’t.
Because Adam is right, and as much as I want his hands on every inch of my body, I want to feel okay again, more.
I want to stand again, to walk, to run free — on my own.
Then, when the time is right, I’ll fall into Adam’s arms.
And I know without a doubt that he’ll be there to catch me when I do.