Cassie
I hate him.
I absolutely, without a doubt, whole-heartedly hate him.
Just standing within fifty feet of him now makes my jaw ache, my teeth are clenched so tight.
Adam is laughing and smiling and goofing off with his brothers like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
And maybe he doesn’t. Maybe, to him, everything is fine.
Because to his knowledge, I’ve been “working on me,” and everything between us is just fine.
I laugh.
Sure, he’s assured me that there’s nothing between him and Skyler, that they’re just friends and he has no idea why she would ever say she had feelings for him. He’s assured me that he’s just trying to be there for her — as a friend — and there’s nothing to worry about.
Of course, I know the background behind why Skyler said what she did about still being in love with Adam.
I know the real plan behind her actions, the real motive, fueled by Erin — but Adam doesn’t.
And the fact that he still cares about her enough to run out of his own dance for her without even spending one full minute with me? Well, call me petty, but that hurts.
And no matter what he says, it’s not okay.
I’ve done all the “me” stuff I can stomach.
I’ve done yoga, and spa days, and long evenings on my longboard cruising the campus.
I’ve studied, aced my midterms, picked up meditation and even pinned more than thirty-five possibilities for cutting my hair this summer.
I’m over it, the me time, and whether he thinks I’m ready or not — I want us time now.
If Adam wants me, if he cares about me the way he says he does, then time is up.
All the games end this week.
But first, I have to play my own.
My stomach churns a little as I watch him, playing over my sister’s words in my head. I called her yesterday, needing to talk to someone about Adam and actually use his name. The other girls still don’t know about me and Adam, but my sister? She’s a safe place.
“For the record, before I tell you anything else, I think you’re being stupid,” my sister, Claire, had said.
“Me? It’s him who’s being stupid! He’s texting my Big, who he used to date, Claire.”
“I get that, but have you seen his texts to her? Is he sending dick pics and asking her to make out?” She didn’t let me respond.
“No, he’s not. He’s being a friend to her, just like he told you he was.
” Claire had clucked her tongue then. “Adam is being mature beyond his years, if you ask me. I can’t think of one single guy who tried to date me in college and told me I should take some time to focus on myself, or held me in their arms and said anything even close to as sweet as everything he’s told you.
If anything, they wanted me to lose myself in them, to do whatever they wanted to do.
I’m telling you, if you’re still single when you’re my age, you’ll kill for a guy like Adam. ”
I’d huffed, staring at my pile of clothes on my bed, still trying to figure out what to pack for Spring Break.
“Just help me,” I had begged, my voice soft. “Please.”
And with that, Claire had cracked, giving me advice that I should have already known myself.
“It’s the oldest trick in the book, but there’s a reason that sucker is still in there.
Men are simple creatures, and boys are even more so.
It’s simple, really — you just need to make him jealous.
If you think he’s sleeping on you, if you think he’s too comfortable or not moving fast enough, show him that other people are noticing you and you’ve got options. ”
“But I don’t,” I’d quickly pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter. It can be a friend or one of his friends — anyone. Doesn’t matter what they look like or what kind of connection you have. If there’s another guy even talking to you, trust me, Adam will notice.”
And so, I’d stewed on that advice overnight, packing and repacking and staying up way too late to feel functional on my first day of Spring Break. I still hadn’t had any idea of what I’d do, of when I’d make my move.
But now, staring across the deck at Adam, Kade, and their other brothers, I know the time is now.
The cruise ship is buzzing with the energy of Spring Break, so similar to my first one last year and yet heightened somehow. This isn’t just a road trip to Key West — it’s an all-inclusive cruise. For the next five days, our only obligation is to drink, party, and soak up the sun.
It’s college bliss.
And I’m damn sure not spending it alone.
As soon as the safety drill ends, we all disperse, making our way to various parts of the ship. The girls and I are on a mission to snag prime real estate at the pool, and as soon as we make it to the top deck, I spy my first opportunity.
I grab Skyler’s arm, tugging her toward Adam and his brothers before I can talk myself out of my next move. Without warning, I launch myself at Kade’s back, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist in a forced piggyback ride.
“It’s Spring Break, bitches!” I yell, loud enough to cause several people to turn around and look — Adam included.
He smiles at first when he realizes it’s me, but his eyes darken at the sight of my legs wrapped around Kade, of his hands holding my thighs in place as he adjusts me on his back.
Kade laughs, smacking my butt playfully, and Adam’s jaw clenching is the last thing I see before I pull my attention back to the task at hand.
“Where’s our shots?” I ask.
I don’t even realize it’s Kip standing next to Kade, not until I glance over and see that’s who Skyler jumped on, mirroring me.
For a second, I see it — how good they would have been together, had it not been for Erin.
And even though I know he’s called things off with Erin, we all know there’s no chance for Skyler now.
It’d be against girl code, and I know my Big well enough to know she’d never break that.
“I’ve been on this boat for seven-and-a-half minutes now and I still don’t have a frozen, fruity drink in my hand,” Skyler chimes in.
Kip stares up at her over his shoulder, a wry grin on his face. “Well, that sounds like a problem I can solve.”
The next thing I know, I’m hanging on for dear life as Kade and Kip take off sprinting toward the bar. I squeal extra loud as we pass Adam and his brothers, but I don’t take my eyes off the bar, acting like I don’t even realize we passed him.
“Okay, transportation complete,” Kade says, dropping me to my feet once we make it to the pool bar. “Now the only question is — which shot?”
“Hmmm… something fruity.”
The bartender overhears, holding up an “okay” sign with his fingers to let us know he’s got just the thing.
Kade and I chat while she makes our drinks, and anytime I can, I touch his arm, laugh at his jokes, stare into his eyes.
I’m pleasantly aware of the other set of eyes locked on me at the present moment, and that only fuels my fire.
“To Spring Break,” Kade says, holding up his shot glass to mine.
“May we survive it.”
He laughs. “Hear, hear!”
We down the shot, Kade howling when his is down, and then he winks at me before trotting over to join his group of brothers. Skyler is preoccupied with Kip at the bar, so I sip my pina colada, waiting for her to finish up so we can make our way to the pool.
And just like always — I feel him before I see him.
I wonder if that will ever go away, the way my body reacts to Adam before I should even know he’s nearby. Will he ever be able to surprise me, to catch me off guard, or will my hair always stand on end, my stomach always tighten, my heart always skip before picking up a notch?
“Happy Spring Break,” he says, tapping his knuckles on the bar.
“Yep.”
The word leaves my mouth with a pop, and I take another drink, not so much as glancing his way.
“You okay?”
“I’m great!” I force a smile, finally meeting his eyes. “How about you?”
Two lines form between his brows, like he can’t figure out if he should believe me or not. And he shouldn’t. He definitely shouldn’t.
“I’m good… I saw you with Kade,” he says, broaching the subject like Mr. Subtle himself. “I didn’t realize you two knew each other.”
On the outside, I’m calm and cool, merely shrugging and taking another sip of my drink. But inside, I’m wearing the most satisfied grin.
“Oh, yeah, we met at rush,” I say coolly. “I didn’t really talk to him much until the Valentine’s Day dance. We hung out a lot that night.”
I practically shoot lasers at him with that last line, making my message clear.
It’s been almost a month since that dance, and I’m still not over the fact that he ran out with Skyler that night.
Yes, he explained later. And yes, we’ve hung out since.
But still, I know he’s texting Skyler, and I know I’m tired of the let’s take this slow bullshit.
“Oh,” Adam answers.
He pauses a moment, sliding closer to me, his pinky finger brushing mine. And as much as I want to hold his hand, as much as I want to hear what he has to say next, I cut him off with his mouth still open.
“Well, have fun today.”
I turn, linking my arm in Skyler’s and guiding her toward the pool where Erin, Ashlei, and Jess are already set up. We dip our feet in the cool water, clinking our glasses together and celebrating the start of the best week of spring semester.
I don’t have to glance over my shoulder to know Adam is still watching, and I hope like hell he’s feeling even a margin of the kind of hurt he made me feel the night of the dance.
I’ve never done anything like this before, never been about playing games, but if that’s the way to get his attention, I’m damn sure not above it.
I served the ball, now it’s his move.
He better choose it wisely.