Cassie #4
Skyler’s eyes find mine in the screen, a silence falling over us as the other girls nod in understanding. They all blow kisses at the screen and offer various forms of advice before leaving the room. Then, it’s just me and Skyler.
She inhales a shaky breath, her eyes watering, and I immediately shake my head.
“Do not cry on me, Big.”
She blows out the breath. “I’m trying not to.
Little, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
This tournament means everything to me, or it did, anyway.
But now, I’m not sure what matters most to me anymore.
” She buries her face in her hands, as if admitting that out loud scares her more than anything ever has in her life.
“I think you do know.”
I offer Skyler a soft smile as she looks back up, wishing more than anything that I could say what I’m about to say to her in person.
“Skyler, you were going to pretty much be done with tournaments after this, right?” I ask, remembering what she’d told us last semester.
She just wanted to get enough to finish paying off her tuition for her remaining time at PSU, and to set her family up a little more.
After that, she wanted to focus on her future — on what that looked like.
Skyler nods, blinking against the tears pooling in her eyes.
“You want this more than anything not for the title, but for your family. You want to pay off school at Palm South and help your parents out. I get that, I totally do,” I say.
“But, Sky, it’s not up to you to set your parents up for life.
And you and I both know that it wouldn’t take first place for you to be able to pay off your tuition.
Don’t let the pressure of winning get to you.
Just play like I know you know how to and let the cards fall where they’re meant to fall. ”
Skyler bites her lower lip, considering my advice.
Maybe she hasn’t thought of that before, how winning at almost any point now would give her a great pot of cash to come home with.
Or, maybe she’s known all along, but she doesn’t know how to handle her new feelings.
Poker has been everything to her for so long. She’s never put a boy above it.
Sometimes, love makes us forget who we are. But others? It shows us who we’ve wanted to be all along. I’ve felt that with Adam, and just by looking at my Big, I know she feels it, too.
Poor girl. Here’s hoping she doesn’t have to go through what we did.
“What are you going to do about Kip?” I ask her after a moment.
She shrugs. “What is there to do? It’s over.”
“I call bullshit.”
Huffing, Skyler takes a long drink from the bottle of wine. “It is! How could I ever forgive him for what he did? How do I know what’s been real and what was just a game?”
I roll my eyes, because I remember those exact same excuses coming from my own mouth.
“Oh, please. Every single moment between the two of you has been one-hundred percent real and you know it.” I lean in toward the screen.
“Look at me, Big. I have known you for two years now and I’ve never seen you like this with a guy.
Ever. You may not be sure about what’s happening between you and Kip, but I am.
When he says he loves you, he means it — and I think you know that, too. ”
“I don’t though, that’s what’s so hard!” Skyler practically yells, slamming the wine bottle down on her bedside table in frustration.
“I would never have guessed he was playing this game, Little. Never. Everything with him felt so real, so genuine, so unlike anything I’ve ever had before.
If it was so easy for him to pull off this whole scheme without me knowing the difference, wouldn’t it be just as easy for him to make me believe he loved me when he didn’t? ”
I shake my head. “But then why would he still be trying to convince you? If it was all just a game, why would he bother?”
Skyler scoffs. “He’s probably trying to get under my skin for tomorrow.”
“You and I both know that’s complete crap,” I say firmly. Leaning in more, I make sure her eyes are on mine when I say my next sentence. “You’re scared, Skyler. I know you are and it’s okay to be scared. But remember, some of life’s best experiences are masked as terrifying leaps of faith.”
Her face softens at that.
“Just please, please — think about what you want before tomorrow,” I beg her. “Think about what matters to you. What really matters.”
Skyler nods, and I can only imagine how she must feel with all the thoughts in her head warring against each other.
Poker used to be simple for her, it used to be the only sure thing.
Now, everything she thought she knew about what she wanted, about who mattered in her life, has been flipped upside down.
But she can do this, she can make her way out. She just has to decide what result she wants in the end.
“I love you, Big,” I tell her. “We’ll all be watching tomorrow. Just know you have a team rooting for you, no matter what happens.”
And with that, we end the call, and all eyes at Palm South University are watching Vegas.