Cassie
Everything is perfect.
It’s a bright contrast against the dark place I was in just a few weeks ago, when Adam and I weren’t speaking and I was convinced it was over for us. Completely and utterly over. It seemed we were at an impasse, with him firm in his righteousness and me firm in mine.
But then, just like he always does, Adam surprised me.
His apology and camping night on Boca Chita Key was everything I’ve come to expect from him, and yet somehow, it still takes my breath away. Because even when I don’t deserve his love, he gives it to me — as if he has no other choice.
I knew what I was asking of him was hard when I asked it. Accepting that I wanted to be friends with my ex-boyfriend? That’s a sticky demand for anyone to make, let alone with the history the three of us had.
But whether it was talking to Jeremy or realizing that he was still friends with Skyler without me having an issue with it, he came around.
And more than anything, he showed me that he trusts me, that even if he doesn’t love the idea of me being friends with Grayson, he understands why I want to be, and why it’s important to me, and most importantly, that he can trust me to keep that friend zone firm.
It means more to me than anything else in our relationship, that earnest trust and support.
And it’s a giant step for us as a couple.
My heart has been afloat on the wings of butterflies ever since that night in the tent on the key, and a permanent smile is my favorite accessory.
I’m wearing said smile the Sunday before Thanksgiving as the girls and I shop for semi-formal dresses, each of us filtering through the racks at our favorite dress boutique and piling hangers on our arms.
“Well, I’m glad you two worked it out,” Skyler says, eyeballing a red, glittery dress before putting it back on the rack. “I was worried there for a second.”
“Me, too,” Erin confesses. “But then again, I don’t think Adam could ever let you go — not now that he finally got you.”
I blush, passing up an emerald floor-length dress that caught my eye and running my fingers over a white one, instead. “Well, I want to hold onto him, too. So I guess that’s a good thing.”
“Indeed, it is,” Erin says, squeezing my arm as she passes.
“Gah, why does every dress make my ass look so large?” Jess huffs, dramatically exiting the little dressing room with the curtains flying up behind her. She hangs her hands on her hips, turning around to show us said ass in a tight-fitting and rouched gold dress. “I mean, look at this.”
She grabs both her cheeks and jiggles them to the tune of our laughter, and Ashlei smacks her ass for good measure. “I’d hit that.”
“I’m sure Kade won’t mind your ass being highlighted,” Skyler remarks, arching a brow before making her way into the dressing room next to Jess.
“He might if it busts through the fabric and everyone else gets to see it, too.” Jess mumbles to herself, shaking her head and flinging the curtains back on the dressing room, slipping inside it again.
“How’s that going, anyway?” I ask, taking a seat on the bench outside the row of dressing rooms once I have an arm full of dresses. “How was your first real date?”
Jess pokes her head out, giving me a thoughtful look. “Honestly? It was… surprising.”
“How so?” Ashlei asks, joining us from where she’d been picking out a couple of short numbers from the return rack.
“He was such a gentleman… all dressed up and fancy. Took me to this super nice restaurant. We talked, laughed, shared feelings and things.” She wrinkles her nose. “And, he wouldn’t fuck me at the end of the night.”
Ashlei balks. “What? Why?”
“He said he won’t until the third date.”
Erin barks out a laugh from the dressing room. “I like him.”
“Anyway,” Jess says, disappearing behind the curtain again. “I had a great time. I just also am ready to get these next two dates over with so we can bang again.”
I snort a laugh just as Skyler walks out in a rose gold baby doll dress. Ashlei and I both shake our heads in unison.
“Too innocent,” Ashlei says. “You look like you’re twelve.”
“Aw, I thought the color was pretty,” Skyler says on a pout, twirling and watching herself in the mirror. When she stops, she nods. “But, you’re right. Next!”
“Are you excited for your trip to California on Tuesday, Little?” Erin asks beside her.
“Ugh. I’m dying. I feel like I’ve been staring at the clock since I booked my flight last month.” She sighs. “I just can’t wait to be in Kip’s arms.”
“I bet he can’t wait to be in your pants,” Jess murmurs.
I chuckle. “Honestly, I don’t know how y’all do it. Just being apart from Adam for a couple weeks drove me insane. And we were still on the same campus. Like, if I wanted to see him, I could.” I shake my head. “It’s got to be maddening to have so much distance between you guys.”
“It sucks. A lot,” Sky confesses, emerging again at the same time Erin does.
They look at each other and burst out into laughter when they see they’re in the same dress, and then they’re gone again, a wave of curtains floating behind them.
“But,” she adds. “This is the way it needs to be for now. I’ve got another year here, and he’s just getting started at his dream school. We can make it work.”
“Do you think you’ll move out to California with him once you graduate?” Lei asks.
Skyler pops her head out of the curtains, frowning. “I hadn’t thought of it… but honestly? Maybe. I could get down with the other coast.”
“Maybe you could go from paddle boarding to surfing,” I suggest.
“What’s going on with that intern, Lei?” Jess asks, coming out in a breathtaking high-low sunshine yellow dress. It highlights her bronze skin and showcases her cleavage with the sweetheart, shell bust, and the flowy layers of the skirt seem to swish and sway with every tiny move she makes.
“Oh, Jess,” I whisper, still gawking. “That is the one.”
“Agreed,” Ashlei says. “You might as well stop looking now. You won’t find better than that. God, you look stunning!”
“Is that a blush I see?” Skyler teases, poking her head out to see what all the fuss is about.
“Shut up.” Jess waves her off, but she can’t hide her glow as she looks herself over in the three-split mirror. “It really is pretty.”
“You’re getting it,” Erin says definitively, and then she steps out in a poofy purple dress that we all go silent at before bursting out into a chorus of laughter.
“Yeah. That ain’t it, sis,” Jess says.
Erin’s shoulders deflate. “I look like a bridesmaid from 1982.”
That earns her another roar of laughter, and when she’s in the dressing room again, Jess and I turn to Lei.
She sighs. “The intern is… fine. I guess. She was great at the Okay, Cool party, and she said she wants to interview me for some project. She really is good at her job, but… there’s something off about her. She’s like a fox. I don’t trust her.” She pauses. “And… I think she might be into me.”
“What do you mean into you?” Jess probes.
“I mean, I think she might have hit on me at the party.”
We all widen our eyes at that.
“I know, I know, it sounds crazy, and maybe it is,” she confesses with her hands up. “I don’t know. I’ll keep y’all posted when I know more, because right now, I’m just confused and jealous.”
“Nothing to be jealous of,” I assure her. “Especially since Brandon told you he loves you.”
I sing the last words, and all the girls chime in with ooh’s and aww’s that have Ashlei flicking us all off.
“I think I’m seeing someone, too.”
We all turn in unison to look at Erin, who’s looking back at us in the mirror as she assesses the long violet dress she’s wearing. She does a little turn, stopping when she’s facing us.
I don’t think a single one of us blinks.
“His name is Gavin. He’s in my therapy group.”
She adds that last part with a little clearing of her throat at the end, and we’re all completely silent for a moment longer before Jess squeals and wraps her in a hug.
“Ex! You sly dog, you. Why haven’t you told us?”
Erin blushes. “I don’t know. I kind of told you when we were sunbathing behind the house.”
“Ah, the friend,” Jess teases.
Erin shoots her a glare. “Well, I wasn’t sure what it was at first but… we’ve gone on a few dates and… I don’t know. I think I like him.”
“You haven’t dated anyone seriously since Landon,” Skyler observes. “Well, other than my boyfriend, but that was a hot mess.”
We all shift a little uncomfortably at that.
“Too soon?” Skyler asks with her arms out.
Erin chuckles. “Yeah, I know… it’s been…” She goes silent for a long time, a shadow passing over her eyes, and the girls and I exchange worried glances.
“You know you can talk to us,” I whisper, standing to touch my Grand Big’s arm. “Whatever it is you’ve been through, we’d understand.”
“I know,” she whispers, tears flooding her eyes. “And I will. Someday. Soon.”
We all nod, and then Lei wraps her in a hug. “Well, I for one am glad this Gavin guy has caught your attention. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“And I can’t wait for him to fuck your brains out so you’ll loosen up a bit in Chapter,” Jess adds.
Erin launches at her, tickling her sides before Jess breaks free and takes off. Erin chases her around the dress shop while we all watch and laugh.
Skyler and I exchange a beaming look, and I know we’re thinking the same thing.
Our sisters are fucking crazy.
But damn, do we love them.
***
Later that night, after Sunday Chapter, Adam and I walk the beach licking on our respective ice cream cones. Mine is mint chocolate chip, his is moose tracks. Our hands that aren’t holding our dessert are clasped between us, swinging lightly as we walk.
The stars are non-existent, the clouds wispy, glowing from the moon behind them and adding a moody tone to the beach. It’s quiet but for the waves, and our occasional laughter.
When we finish our cones, Adam pulls me into his arms and kisses me breathless, his warm lips a contrast between the cool sand under my bare feet.
And when we sneak away under the pier to make love, that same fluttering of wings sets my chest afloat.
Everything is perfect.