320 But I do
Love is not pity.
There is a fine line between the two concepts, though we sometimes fail to see it.
That was what Jessa and Allison told Penny. They explained that the accompaniment of love is compassion and that many people often confuse these feelings for various reasons. They believed Penny was kind and cherished this man as a friend from the past, but they also warned her:
That was the summary of Jessa and Allison’s advice to Penny, whom they believed was confused about her feelings. Not that they were blaming Penny. This was the first time Penny had thought of this or faced a dilemma like this one, so they understood her confusion.
Lying on the bed and thinking about her dinner with her parents, Penny stared blankly at the ceiling. She had been pondering what her mother and aunt had told her, but she still couldn’t fully understand it.
"I pity him, that’s true," she murmured. "But I don’t think I found him attractive because of that."
Another deep exhale slipped past her.
This dilemma shouldn’t be a problem for her. However, since she and Zoren were in this mysterious marriage together, playing husband and wife in front of his grandmother, Penny knew she had to have a clear understanding of her heart.
"Aunt said I should try to spend time with him because that’s the only way I can be sure of my feelings," she whispered, glancing at the phone on the bedside table. "Should I call him?"
Shifting her eyes to the clock next to the phone, another shallow breath escaped her. "It’s late, and if I called him, I’d just sound suspicious. I mean, there’s really not much I could talk to him about."
The divorce was put on hold even though they had planned to sign the papers. The bodyguards were already deployed to Zoren. The only things personally tying them together were their marriage certificate and Old Mrs. Pierson.
"Never mind." Penny shook her head. "Maybe, after a few days, I won’t be thinking about this anymore, and I’ll realize it was just a fleeting emotion I felt for him."
She closed her eyes and lay still, only to hear the vibration from the bedside table. Penny wanted to ignore it, even though it was from her personal phone. But when it stopped vibrating, she snapped her eyes open.
"Who is it this time?" she wondered, lazily reaching out to grab her phone. When she saw the sender, she furrowed her brows and checked the messages.
She received three messages in total from two different senders: two from Benjamin and the other from Zoren.
Penny quickly checked Zoren’s message first, her heart skipping a beat.
"That’s all?" she scrunched up her nose in dismay. "He didn’t say anything to me the whole day nor did he contact me for anything. And the first message he sends me is ’goodnight’?"
What is wrong with this guy?
Penny clicked her tongue and replied to him.
As soon as she sent that message, Penny casually lay down, not expecting to receive another reply from him. Much to her surprise, her phone vibrated in her hand. Penny held her phone over her face and checked his reply.
Deep lines appeared between her brows. "So?" she muttered, typing her thoughts.
"..." Penny rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow, her back starting to tremble. When she recovered from her quiet laughter, she rested her chin on the pillow and began typing.
Ding!
The smile that she hadn’t realized was on her face faded when she read his last message.
"Ahem!" Penny cleared her throat and put on a serious face. "Why do I think he’s joking when I should know he’s being serious right now?"
She shook her head, thinking of the Renren she knew. This side of him was something that probably hadn’t changed. Even if it had, it was worse now. Comedy and humor were things that had fled from Zoren’s grasp, that’s all.
Penny arched a brow. "Why would I be upset?"
"Well." Penny shrugged and smacked her lips. "Mr. Pierson, I don’t know why you think I would be upset with you. However, I’m glad to hear you’re taking your health seriously. Have a good night."
After typing that message, she quickly sent it and waited for his response. When she heard the ping, all she saw was a short "Goodnight" from him.
A subtle smile appeared on her face as she casually exited the message log. When Penny did, she finally remembered Benjamin’s message when she saw it. She hadn’t wanted to check what that guy had to say, but she still did.
Penny stopped reading the long message when she read the part about Zoren seeking professional help. The corners of her lips curled up as her eyes softened.
"Well, I guess I don’t just pity him."