Chapter 9 #2
When we pulled into the parking garage, I eyed him, thinking how cute his devious smile was and still clueless as to where he was taking me. He led me out of the garage, and only when we were heading with others into the theater did I gasp and jerk him to a stop.
I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Is it The Nutcracker?”
His smile widened until it lit his face.
With a squeal, I threw my arms around his neck.
He picked me up as I kissed him and gently lowered my feet to the ground.
This man amazed me more every day. He caught everything I said and did, storing that information for moments like this.
My family had attended The Nutcracker at the local theater every year since I could remember, and I’d lamented the fact that I would miss it this year.
But Gabe had ensured I wouldn’t, once again reminding me why I loved him so intensely.
Hand in mine, he took us inside, buying me hot chocolate before leading me to the best seats in the house. My heart was bursting by the time we left, and I couldn’t imagine the day getting any better until it did.
“Why are we stopping at the mall?” I asked as he opened my door for me and held a hand out to help me out of the car.
“Another surprise,” he said.
Shoppers packed the mall with bags and packages, but Gabe kept me tucked next to him, guiding me through the crowd to his destination. Stopping in front of the Christmas store, he turned to me. Confidence faltering, he gazed down at his feet and palmed the back of his neck.
“My mother loved Christmas. She would decorate the entire house, and my sister and I would help. But…” He dropped his hand and shoved it into his pocket.
“My father hated it. And after a time, his shadow infected it. Every year there was less until it just stopped when I was thirteen.” Hazel eyes, misty and dark, met my sight, and my heart broke a little more for him.
“You reminded me of what it was like before that, Tori. Your excitement, the traditions you and your family have. I want that with you. Can we—”
“Gabriel Hughes, are you asking me to decorate for Christmas with you?”
He chuckled, the stress fading from his features. “Yeah.”
“Hmm,” I feigned concern. “That’s a big step.”
His sheepish grin had me grabbing his hand and dragging him into the store. We filled basket after basket until we walked out with four giant bags of decorations.
“I don’t know where we’re going to put all this stuff come January,” I said as he closed his trunk.
“We’ll make room. Ready for some lunch? I have one more surprise after that.”
I rubbed my stomach. “I could definitely use some food.”
Over lunch, I pressed him for more details about Christmas in the Hughes household, but his walls were back in place.
There were so many moments when he closed up that I still didn't know what to make of it. We’d been dating for six months, and I still barely knew anything about his past. He seemed to live through my memories, and it hurt to think his were so bad that he wanted someone else’s.
Maybe in time he would open up more like he had the night he’d told me about his father.
I suspected whatever demons he carried they would hurt me to hear. I loved him too much for them not to.
This was life with Gabe. Secrets and mysteries, surprises and sweetness.
A dichotomy that had me in a fairy tale most days, with the darkness pushing at my periphery.
I couldn’t help but worry that it would invade my happiness and turn my fairy tale into a nightmare.
Only the knowledge that Gabe was too sweet to let that happen, to let anything hurt me, kept my anxiety in check.
I allowed the secrets to persist, knowing he had his reasons and that as someone who loved him unconditionally, I had no choice.
“It’s not a day trudging through the snow to get the perfect tree, but it’s the best I could find.”
My jaw went slack when we pulled in. Christmas trees of all sizes filled the lot of the farm.
“We can cut one down or take a pre-cut one home,” he said, scratching his cheek. “I think they have a small store, too.”
Speechless, I continued to stare out the window.
“Too much?” he asked.
With tears pressing behind my eyes, I turned to him. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Perfect.”
His worry transformed to excitement, and he hopped out of the car, making it to my side just as I was exiting. Hand in mine, he pushed my hair from my face, his eyes flitting between mine as if searching for my approval.
“I love it, Gabe. I love everything about this day, and I love you.” I pulled him toward me, our lips meeting in a passionate kiss that ignited my body. “Let’s go pick out our first tree.”
His grin spread wide, and he hurried us off to the trees. Dragged from tree to tree, I tried not to laugh at how adorable he was. At every tree, he stopped to evaluate it and get my opinion. None seemed to meet his expectations of perfection.
As we trudged through the tree farm, I was glad I’d worn a pair of dress boots with low heels. The weather was still in the sixties, but I pulled my sweater around my chest, trying to keep up with his long strides. I had long legs, but his steps were ridiculously large.
“Did you have real trees when you were little?” I braved, hoping I wouldn’t drag his mood down.
“Always,” he answered, musing over a thick evergreen that stood a few inches taller than him.
“Were you always this excited about picking one?”
Pulling at branches, he said, “I never got to pick one. My father always had them delivered.”
I mulled that over as he stooped to look at the trunk.
“You had someone deliver your tree?”
“My father had someone who did it for him and…” His head shot up, his eyes wide as if he realized he’d said too much. He swallowed, and I could see him scrambling to cover his admission.
“Part of the past you’ll tell me about one day?” I said, hating how angry I sounded.
“Tori, I—”
I put a hand up. “It’s okay. I know I need to be patient, but a little at a time would be helpful rather than something every few months.”
Guilt shadowed his irises as he stood. Brows knitted, he tucked his hands in his pockets.
“We had money. Well…we have money. I told you about the trust fund, but…” His jaw clenched, that shadow spreading to turn his hazel eyes closer to brown.
“My father is successful, and we had more advantages than ordinary families.”
He turned and stomped away, and I couldn’t help but wonder why it had been so hard to tell me that.
There was nothing in it other than that he came from money.
It wasn’t a surprise to me. I recognized it in the way he dressed, the way he insisted on paying for everything even though I made a good salary.
And my family wasn’t poor. They did well running the resort, and we had never gone without.
So what was it about Gabe that made it something he had to keep from me?
I ran after him, grasping his elbow and forcing him to stop. The sparkle had disappeared from his eyes, and I wanted it back. Taking his face in my hands, I lowered his head to mine. “Come back to me, Gabe.”
“I’m right here, Tori.” There was a harshness in his tone and an authoritative quality that surprised me.
“No, you’re not. You went wherever you go when you think about your past. Do you not understand that I love you no matter what?
I don’t care if you have money, I don’t care if you have ghosts, I don’t care that your mood shifts when you talk about those ghosts.
I love you, Gabe. Don’t you see that? There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. ”
“I’m terrified of losing you.” His words were a whisper of fear that shredded any lingering irritation.
“You won’t lose me. I promise you.”
Eyes dropping to the ground, shoulders drooping, he looked so wounded. Vulnerable and not the strong man I knew. He yanked me into his body and buried his face in my hair. His hands clung so tight to me it almost seemed like a tornado would drop on us and rip me from him if he didn’t hold on.
“I will,” he murmured, and my chest lurched because I knew in my heart that something in those secrets he kept led him to believe this. How did I compete with something I didn’t understand and couldn’t see? I dug my face into his chest, a sense of foreboding chasing away the light in my day.
“I’m yours, Gabe. I will forever be yours.” The words came freely from me. An admission that I was certain was true.
His soft declaration followed. “I won’t ever stop loving you, luna mia. Never.”
I sank further into his hold. The safety of his arms too comfortable to leave, that sense that some impending event was lurking in the distance to shatter our happy ending not allowing me to leave it.
Whatever was coming, Gabe feared it, and while I refused to let it damage what we had, I couldn’t deny that I was beginning to fear it as well.