Chapter 14
Gabe
The room was dark, the only sound Tori’s steady breaths that told me she was sleeping soundly.
I hadn’t slept, instead holding her through the night, afraid to let go because once I did, I knew I’d never hold her again.
What I was about to do would crush her, and she would hate me forever.
There would never be a chance of finding her again, of confessing my mistakes or the secrets I’d kept from her. There would be no second chance for me.
I looked at my watch. Four thirty in the morning.
My usual gym time, but this was Sunday, and she knew I didn’t go to the gym on Sundays.
I ran outside, but not this early. So, I’d snuck a sleeping pill into the glass of wine I’d brought her after making love to her.
Insisting I wanted to watch the rest of the movie in bed while I held her.
I’d really wanted to take her again, needing to memorize every inch of her over and over until I would never forget how it felt to touch her, never forget that she had once been mine.
A constant reminder of what I’d lost when I returned home.
Moving her from my chest, I noted how she was still sound asleep. I sat on the edge of the bed, resting my head in my hands as agony ripped through my chest. I didn’t want to do this to her. Didn’t want to leave her, and it was pure anguish to even think about what I was doing. Rising, I dressed.
Within a few trips, I had emptied my side of the closet and cleared my things from the bathroom.
All traces of my existence were gone, packed up in my car.
I’d broken the desk down and dropped it in the dumpster the day before, donating the monitors and chair, and putting the hard drive in my car. All that was left I had just packed.
Standing in the closet, I unzipped the bag with her wedding dress.
It was elegant and simple, and I could only imagine how beautiful she would have looked.
But it wouldn’t be me she would walk down the aisle for.
I was giving that up, and someone else would steal it from me.
It would be foolish to think I could find her again when this was over.
That she would ever want me back after this.
I knew I would hold on to that hope. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t survive.
I removed the note from my pocket—one small gesture to hold on to her, to assure her that I loved her—and placed it in the dress pocket.
A smile tried to form when I thought of how typical it was that Tori would have a dress with pockets.
But it faded as I zipped the bag back up, sealing away our happy ending.
I took one last look around the apartment to ensure I had removed all traces of me.
A clean break would help her get over me.
I would never get over her, but I wanted her to be happy again, and with traces of me in her life, she wouldn’t ever get there.
Ebony locks draped over her pillow, her soft features tucked into it as she slept.
I pushed a lock back and kissed her cheek, emotion threatening to undo me.
Pressure formed behind my eyes as I slipped the engagement ring from her finger.
I clenched it in my hand as my heart cleaved in two.
I needed to leave before I changed my mind. I was doing this to protect her and her family. It was something I kept reminding myself. I’d been selfish, and I wouldn’t be anymore. Not if it risked her future and her family’s.
“Ti amo, luna mia.” I love you, my moon.
I walked out, not looking back at her, because looking back would destroy me.
The paper flowers we’d made sat in the vase where I’d placed them last night.
Tucking the ring in my pocket, I took the flower she’d made for me, leaving the other one.
A piece of her to take with me since I could no longer have the rest of her.
Leaving my key on the counter, I left the apartment, locking the door behind me and knowing there was no going back now. Overcome with grief, I dropped my hands to my knees and held back the retching sob that was strangling me.
“Men don’t cry,” my father had told me on the day of my mother’s funeral. I could still feel the sting of his hand from the slap I hadn’t stopped.
Pushing back the emotion, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and took forced steps away from the heart I was leaving behind.
Readying myself for the long ride home and a life where love would never find me again.
Tori was the only one I had ever let have a place in my heart, and no one else would ever take it from her.
She had branded it with her claim, and I would never remove that claim, even if she gave it up after my actions.
The morning sun bled through the floor to ceiling windows that lined the family room of my childhood home.
It had taken me sixteen hours with minimal breaks to arrive, and each minute that had passed had fractured me further.
I touched my finger to the pane I had fallen through so many years ago, remembering how it had shattered, just like I currently was.
Broken into too many shards to recognize it had once been whole.
It didn’t look like anyone had been to our home in the Hamptons for years. The house was eerily quiet, with the furniture draped in cloth sheets. My father had a penthouse in the city. Liv had one at the hotel we owned in the city.
“So, the prodigal son returns.”
I saw Liv’s reflection in the window as she entered the room but didn’t bother turning around. I had texted her to let her know I was back in New York.
Hands in my pockets, I continued to focus my gaze on the dunes.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” she said. “I know what it took to leave her.”
“Do you?” I asked, my voice too harsh considering I knew she had a sliver of knowledge. An inkling of the pain that held my body hostage.
“I do.”
She moved next to me. I hadn’t seen her in two years, and the distance weighed heavily between us.
I glanced over at her. She had cut her long chestnut hair to her shoulders, giving her a more mature look.
Her hazel eyes, twin to mine, had hardened from too many years of dealing with our father, of carrying the burden of the one he scrutinized the most and never hating me for it.
“You look like shit,” she said, giving me a sad smile.
“I feel like shit.” My voice broke on the last word, and I saw the pity in her eyes.
For once, I wished we were a normal family.
One like Tori’s, where a moment like this demanded a hug that wouldn’t ease the pain but would offer some comfort.
But we weren’t. My mother had been that person, and all hope of it had died with her.
I turned my eyes back to the window, bristling against the well of tears that I refused to release.
“There’s a penthouse suite for you at the hotel. Dad saved the top floor for you.”
“And you?”
“I have the floor below yours. Only the best for his son. You get an entire floor to yourself, while I get only a portion, just like always. My curse for being born female.”
It had always chafed me that he didn’t see Liv as my equal, didn’t recognize her firstborn status because she was female.
My father was a sexist who would have been sued ages ago if his people didn’t excel at keeping him from the regular staff of his companies.
Their nondisclosure agreements—NDAs—guaranteed his biases stayed guarded.
His lawyers, all men of course, ensured there was never a chance for a slipup. Discretion ranked as high as his greed.
“I’d forgotten how pretty it is here,” I said, searching the sky and watching a bird swoop toward the water.
“Yeah. I never come out here anymore. There’s no reason to.” She rubbed her arms and turned away from the window. “I left your keycard for the elevator and your room on the table in the vestibule. Is that your piece of shit car out front?”
“It’s not a piece of shit; it’s only four years old.”
“Whatever. Have someone get rid of it. Your Jag is in the parking garage, just let the valet know who you are, and they’ll bring it up.”
The door slammed behind her, leaving me to my thoughts.
“Welcome home,” I muttered, the familiar ache returning to my chest. It was one I knew I would carry for the rest of my life along with the hollow sensation that reminded me I had left half of myself in Jacksonville.
I took a few more minutes to soak in the memories, realizing too many terrible events shadowed them to remain there any longer.
Returning to the car, I glanced at the missed calls from Tori, too weak to listen to her messages or read her texts yet.
It took me until I had settled into my new home to finally build the courage.
Hearing her confusion turn to anguish then anger and back to anguish before the messages stopped drove me to pour a glass of scotch.
I’d never been a hard-liquor man, but something told me this wouldn’t be my last glass.
Especially if it dulled the horrendous ache that left me feeling as if someone had cleaved my chest in two.
I fidgeted with the collar of my dress suit, straightening my jacket as I stepped from the elevator and through the doors. Sleep had been futile, and my eyes felt like cement blocks.
“Welcome home,” Paula, my father’s secretary, greeted me. “He’s waiting for you.”
I gave her a nod, the only functional response I could provide.
Deep breath, emotions fortified behind a wall that was anything but supportive, I walked down the hall to my father’s office.
Hesitating for mere moments, I opened the door to his office and entered.
The windows behind him offered a magnificent view of the city, the wide office attempting to make my father look small behind his desk.
It hadn’t worked. Nothing could make my father small.
His presence dominated every space he was in.
“William.” A terse greeting from a man who hadn’t seen his son in years.
He’d made an effort to attend my college graduation but hadn’t bothered when I’d gotten my master’s.
Liv was the only one who had attended. Otherwise, it was only my brief and distant trips home that had left our paths crossing.
“Nice to see you made the right choice.”
“Choice?” I stalked over to his desk, my hands landing on it as I stared him down. “You gave me no choice.”
“I gave you another chance, and in return for your obedience I left your plaything alone.” He snapped his paper and folded it, still not looking at me. “If you remain loyal to your family and this company, I’ll continue to leave her and her family alone.”
“Plaything? Is that what you think she was?” His eyes lifted to me. Cold, heartless brown eyes. Emotionless like they’d always been. “Do you even know what love is? What it’s like?”
His jaw ticked. The only noticeable change in his blank expression.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so, or you would have never asked me to leave her.”
He stood and slammed his fist on the desk, his calm cracking.
“You knew the rules, the expectations. This is not a blame I shoulder. It’s all yours.
You led that girl on, knowing you were breaking the rules I established long before she walked into the picture.
Don’t let your guilty conscience slander me. ”
“Wouldn’t think of it, Father. Your lawyers might come after me, or you might disinherit my sister as punishment for my mistakes. Maybe torment an innocent family because you didn’t get your way?”
His eyes evaluated me before he sat back in his seat. “You need new suits. That one looks like it’s been in your closet for ten years. I won’t have the heir to my empire looking like a pauper. See that you dress appropriately tomorrow.”
My fists clenched, and I bit back my retort, thinking of Liv and Tori, both of whom would suffer if I walked out like I wanted.
“Report to Frank in the mailroom.”
“Mailroom?”
Dull brown eyes flicked to me like I was nothing more than a pest he wanted out of his sight. “Did you think I’d offer you the CFO position as soon as you walked in here?”
I had, and of course that hadn’t been his plan.
“You’ll earn your dues like your sister did. You still owe me the time you were supposed to be working at the Jacksonville firm but instead passed your time between a woman’s legs.”
The air hissed as it dragged through my clenched teeth.
“No more fucking around, William. It’s time you accepted that you are my heir, and this company will be yours one day.
Until that time, you will do as I expect, and that means making up for the year and five months you lost by leaving the position that would have given you the experience I expected from you. ”
“God, you’re an asshole.”
“And you’ll be one, too, William. It’s the only way men like me succeed. Now get out of my office and get fitted for new suits on your lunch break.”
The paper snapped open again, his attention no longer on me.
A clear dismissal. An order I would obey only because he had fueled my need to see our plan through again.
To dismantle his empire piece by piece until he sat across from me at a conference table and realized I’d been behind it and was now the only one willing to bail him out of it.
All while building my own empire and remembering every day why I despised him.