Chapter 10 #3
When Kelsey had first mentioned Seattle, I’d felt a wisp of hope flicker inside me, but now, as I looked at Rose’s handwriting, it was merely a reminder that my sister didn’t want to be part of my life anymore.
She was obviously running from something.
Whether it was her bad relationship with Mom, her heartache over Dad, or a deeper issue I wasn’t privy to, it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t important enough to be included in her life.
Sure, she wrote me the letters, but the more I thought about them, the more I realized they weren’t enough.
Why couldn’t she spare time for phone calls or holiday visits?
Why did she sneak out of my life in the middle of the night?
“What does that mean?” Asha asked, her tone somewhere between anger and alarm. “Fel?
I pressed my hands to my face and let out a sigh. “It means I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Nobody said anything, so I peeked out from behind my fingers. Asha was gaping at me as if I’d punched a baby or run over her grandma, and Boomer cocked his head and frowned.
Then there was Alec. Normally he was impossible to read, his thoughts and feelings carefully concealed behind a blank expression. But my response must have thrown him off guard. His eyes were wide, his forehead creased, his lips parted slightly.
He was concerned. For me.
As I looked at him, I felt the need to explain myself. “I have to work on Sunday. There’s no way we can make it to Seattle and all the way back to LA before then.”
“Call in sick,” Boomer suggested. He scrubbed a hand through his tight curls like he was still trying to process my abrupt change of heart. “I do it all the time. Say you have the stomach flu or strep throat. It just has to be nasty enough that they don’t want you coming in.”
“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Daisy will know I’m lying. I don’t want to get fired.”
“So you find a new job.” He shrugged a single shoulder. “Big deal.”
Easy for him to say. Boomer had a bad habit of blowing through jobs like cash. Last month alone, he worked at three different places.
“Yeah,” Asha agreed, jumping back into the conversation once she’d recovered from her shock. “Isn’t finding Rose more important?”
“Well, yeah. But my mom doesn’t know I left. She’s going to freak when she finds out I’m gone.”
“But you wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t hid those letters in the first place.
” Asha poked her tongue into her cheek and sucked in a long breath.
I could almost see her editing words in her head, trying to remain civil and composed.
“I don’t get it, Felicity. You’ve been dying to know what happened to your sister, and now that you have the chance to figure it out, you’re going to walk away? ”
“It’s not like that.” I knew she was frustrated. And I understood that she came from a place of concern, but I also knew that only someone who’d been through what I had—the dread and grief and betrayal—would get how I was feeling.
“Really? It sure seems like it.”
I contemplated how to make them understand.
“You’re right,” I told Asha, and her eyes lit up at my words.
“I did want to know what happened to Rose.” Pausing, I watched her shoulders slump as she realized I’d used the past tense.
“It just took a road trip and coming away empty-handed to realize that maybe I shouldn’t.
I’ve been terrified that something terrible happened to her.
That for some reason she couldn’t come home.
But now that I know she’s fine, it’s obvious she wants nothing to do with me.
I don’t consider it walking away. It’s more like accepting reality. ”
Asha sighed, a long-suffering, you’re-impossible kind of noise. When she didn’t fire back with another well-constructed argument, I thought I’d won.
“Is it though?” Alec asked, his quiet voice cutting through the silence.
“Is what though?”
“Is it obvious that she wants nothing to do with you?” I was ready with a response, but Alec kept talking.
“Maybe her letters seem insignificant weighed against the time you spent in the dark, but I think you’d feel differently if you’d received them when you were supposed to.
I don’t know what she’s written to you, and I won’t pretend to understand what you’re going through, but I saw the stack of envelopes.
There’re enough to fill an entire book. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t invest that much time or effort into writing them. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Four years, Alec. I haven’t seen her since I was thirteen. How would you feel if Vanessa just left?”
“I’m sure I would be as hurt and upset as you are, but for someone who was hell-bent on getting answers, you’re awfully eager to jump to conclusions without them.”
There was nothing for me to say to that, no other excuses I could offer. Because he was right, of course. Damn him and his beautiful, see-straight-though-me eyes.
“If it helps,” Kelsey said tentatively, “you’re all welcome to stay the night.” She nodded her head in the direction of the stairs. “There’re two spare bedrooms and an office with a pullout couch. Plenty of room for everybody.”
“Come on, Felicity,” Asha complained. “Say yes. We can crash here tonight and leave in the morning.”
My gaze moved to Alec’s almost instinctively, and he gave me a small nod of encouragement. He was still willing to help me. We were going to find my sister, and I would get my answers.
“Okay,” I said, lifting my hands in surrender. “We can go to Seattle.”
Asha didn’t need any more conformation from me. She stood from the couch and stretched. “One of you boys help me get our stuff from the trunk. My body needs a bed, pronto.”
After the car was unloaded, Kelsey showed us upstairs.
Even though I’d taken a nap, my eyelids were heavy as we shuffled up the creaky wooden stairs.
Asha and I took the larger guest room, which had a queen-size bed we could share, leaving Alec and Boomer to battle over who got the remaining bed and who was left with the sleeper sofa.
Knowing Alec, he’d be too polite to fight Boomer for the better sleeping arrangement.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” I whispered to Asha after we’d pulled on our pajamas and climbed into bed. “And, you know, being annoyingly persistent and talking sense into me.”
She reached out across the mattress and squeezed my hand. “What are sisters for?”