Chapter 15 #3
I’m shaking. My whole body is shaking with suppressed laughter that I’m trying desperately to contain because she looks so earnest, so committed to pretending this went well, that the kindest thing I can do is play along.
She sits up, but stays cradled in my lap. I secure her, wrapping my arms around her. “Don’t you dare laugh at me, Taio Wilkes.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“You’re literally vibrating. I can feel it. The chair is shaking.”
“That’s…enthusiasm. For your performance.” I press my lips together hard. “Very moving. Literally. A lot of movement happened.”
“Was it hot?” She pouts her lips.
“Very hot,” I answer automatically.
“Are you turned on?”
“Extremely.” I try to mask my chuckle with a cough.
“You’re the worst.” Charlie buries her head into the crook between my arm and chest. “Why don’t you want me? It’s maddening.”
“What makes you think I don’t want you?” I tuck my finger under her chin and pull up until her gaze is on mine.
“We were alone last night. You had me all to yourself, and you didn’t even try to make a move. I’m so confused. I don’t know what you want.”
The afternoon light filters through the curtains, catching the gold in her hair, the flush spreading across her cheeks and down her neck, the rapid pulse I can see beating at the base of her throat.
Curled up in my lap, warm and soft, she’s so close I can count the faint freckles scattered across her nose.
I think about how badly I want to kiss her.
And why I didn’t last night…
“Charlie, last night, sleeping next to each other? That was the most intimate thing I’ve done with someone in a long time.
It wasn’t sex, but that was my way of telling you how I feel about you.
I work in an industry where people try and fail every day to solve their problems with sex.
I don’t want to be your problem. And I don’t want sex to be the solution.
Because it doesn’t last. Do you really want to be with the son of a felon who scrapes by as an escort?
Don’t you care about your reputation? Be honest.”
“Do you really want to be with a broken pop star who’s been so deadlocked on fame and success that she doesn’t know how to function as a person? Because being with me means backtracking and going through all the firsts I missed while my head was in the sand.”
I think about last night, how satisfying it was to hold her and be the reason she could rest.
For once I let myself say exactly what I want to. “Yeah, I do.”
She nods. “Me too. So…what now?”
I slide my hands down to her waist, settling on the curve of her hips where lace meets silk meets warm skin. “What do you want to happen now?”
She’s quiet for a long beat, processing. Her hands have come up to rest on my chest, fingers curling slightly into the fabric of my shirt. “I want you to take the lead. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I widen my eyes at her. “Says the girl dressed up like this to give me a lap dance.”
“It was a striptease,” she argues. “And let’s be honest, we both knew it was for comedy. I was just trying to get your attention, Taio.”
“You have it.” I trace the plunge line of the teddy from her collarbone down to her navel. She shudders under my touch. “You’ve had it all along. You know what the funny thing is?”
“Hmm?”
“You call it a striptease, but nothing came off.” I hook my finger into the lace trim of her teddy and pull it aside, exposing one of her breasts.
My eyes lock in on her nipple like a target’s been identified.
The music has faded—the song ended at some point and neither of us noticed.
The room is quiet except for our breathing and the thunder of my own heartbeat in my ears.
I cup her breast before she can shy away, gently rolling her nipple between my thumb and forefinger until it’s hard. Then I lean down to take her nipple in my mouth, gently suckling while swirling my tongue around its sensitive tip.
“How’s that feel?” I blow gently on her wet skin, making her squirm.
“Good.” She nods fervently like she’s trying to convince herself. “I’m just nervous.”
“Of course you are. It’s the first time—”
“No, I’m nervous because it’s you. I don’t want to blow it or embarrass myself.”
“And you thought leading with that performance was a good idea?”
She relaxes instantly. Her face turns to a scowl before she smacks my shoulder. “You ass—”
“I’m kidding. I just want you to relax. It’s me.
Don’t worry about impressing me. Not that you need my approval, but I’m already awestruck, Charlie.
There’s nothing you can do to change that.
I’m a man, obsessed. I promise you.” I tuck her breast back into the teddy, covering her nakedness.
She’s too nervous. We need more time. But just when I think we’d be better served to have lunch and swap more childhood trauma stories, Charlie speaks.
“Would you be willing to go down on me?”
The directness of her question surprises me so much, I very uncharacteristically stammer. “I-I…um…yeah?”
“It’s the one feeling you can’t really replicate without a partner, so I’ve always been curious. Supposedly it feels really nice.”
I clear my throat, regaining composure. “Yeah, it does.”
“I’ll repay the favor,” she says awkwardly. “So it’s fair.”
“Oh, Tweety,” I say. “Remember how our relationship isn’t transactional?”
“Well, I want you to get something out of it, too.”
“Oh, I will,” I say, almost warningly. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” I murmur, my lips barely an inch from her ear. “You’re going to go lie on that bed and get comfortable.”
Her breath hitches audibly. “Okay.”
“And then you’re going to open your legs, close your eyes, and focus on all the details so you can really make this memory.”
“Memory of what?”
“The best orgasm you’ve ever had.”
Her gulp is obvious. Not of nerves, but of all the saliva pooling in her mouth. I like having that effect on her. I really like her wet, everywhere, for me.
“Okay, what do you get out of it, then? What do you want?”
I brush my lips against hers in a half kiss, before I usher her off my lap and point to the bed. Removing my shirt, I answer, “All I want is for you to come. Hard.”