Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
ADDIE
A few hours later we’re back at the rink but this time it’s not for practice.
“But what if I fall?” Avery assesses the ice warily, then tips her head back, her blue eyes on mine.
She looks absolutely adorable all bundled up like this, though the weight of the snow pants and helmet might actually cause her to fall, so her concern is legitimate.
“You might,” I tell her honestly. “But you’ve got plenty of padding, so it won’t hurt. Plus, and this is the important part, your dad and I will be right next to you. We’ll help you get back up.”
She frowns like she was expecting a different response. But I’m not a liar and I won’t fib to get her onto the ice. The most important thing for a child is their ability to trust you, and once you fuck with that, you fuck with their confidence and trust for life.
Ask me how I know.
JJ steps onto the ice, does a little spin, and skates backward.
I inhale, ready to tell him he’s not helping, showing off like that, but before I can, he trips and falls flat on his butt.
“Daddy.” Avery looks up at me with the sweetest expression of concern. “Help him.”
Before I can react, JJ pops up, arms wobbly, and smiles at her. “Look at that. I fell and I’m okay.”
I flatten my lips to keep from laughing. He looks ridiculous, pretending he’s having trouble staying on his skates. He scissors his legs back and forth dramatically and then falls again.
Avery giggles this time. “Daddy!”
I snort. “Hmm, it’s wild to think we pay you so much to play on the ice.”
He shoots me a devilish grin, his brows dancing. “Why don’t you show us how it’s done then, Adeline?”
With a roll of my eyes, I shuffle to the opening in the rink. Before I can step out, Avery tugs on my hand. “Can I come?”
A bolt of surprise hits me, but I tamp it down, only giving her a gentle smile. I was sure it’d take all kinds of coaxing to get her out there.
Instead, when I get in position and hold out my hand to her, she puts one little white skate onto the ice, gripping my hand with one of her own and the board with the other.
At the feel of her tiny mittened hand in mine, the gravity of this moment hits me. I peer over at JJ. He’s got his phone out, already recording. When he catches me looking, he gives me the warmest smile he’s probably ever shot my way. His eyes are so blue and happy, they make my heart skip.
I force myself to focus on Avery, who, like most kids when they step onto the ice for the first time, slips. She catches herself, throwing her tiny body forward, and I hang on tight, making sure she doesn’t go down.
“Look at that,” I cheer as I guide her upright again. “You’re on the ice.”
Her focus remains on her feet, her expression serious. “Now what?”
“March,” I remind her. I’ve taught plenty of kids how to skate, and this is how we start. Once she’s steadier, we’ll work on gliding and shuffling.
She tries, and her legs almost go out from under her tiny body, but I catch her before she goes down.
“How ’bout you hold both my hands?”
She nibbles on her lip, brows furrowed in determination. “Okay.”
Skating backward, I guide her slowly, mostly pulling her along. JJ follows, camera aimed at Avery, beaming.
He looks at her the same way Beckett has always looked at me.
Not just when my skills have impressed him, either.
Or when I’ve been recognized for my talent.
He’s been there for all the little things.
Hell, Beckett isn’t even a big fan of hockey.
Yet he taught me how to skate. He came to every game that didn’t coincide with his team’s schedule.
And he always, always, made sure that I knew how proud he was of me.
That’s the thing about men like JJ and Beckett. They’re proud of their children for who they are, not what they can do. Early on, when I’d tumble on the ice, my dad would smile and make an encouraging comment. And I have no doubt JJ would do the same for Avery.
But she doesn’t fall. And as we go around the rink for a third time, she gets a little more daring. “Can I try it myself?”
I glance at JJ. “What do you think? Is she ready?”
He bends at the knees so he’s at her level and skates by. “She’s a Hanson. She was born ready.”
Despite his statement, he gets in front of her so he can catch her if she goes down. But he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. God, he’s good.
“Okay, Avey girl. Let’s try this.” I drop one of her hands.
With her other hand, she squeezes tighter, her little body wobbling as she struggles to stay up.
“You’ve got this,” I tell her. “Just march those feet.”
With a deep breath, she releases me, and then she glides forward. “Oh,” she squeals. “Daddy, I’m skating!”
She makes it four entire steps before she falls forward.
JJ is right there, catching her, lifting her and zooming around, making her fly like an airplane, as if that was his plan all along. “Yeah you are.”
“Did you see that, Addie?” she yells.
I laugh. “I did. You were great.”
As they glide back my way, her smile is wide. Mine is too, if the ache in my cheeks is any indication.
“Can we get ice cream to celebrate?” she asks as they slow.
Chuckling, JJ heads for the bench. “After dinner.”
“Oh man,” she whines, still in his arms. “I worked so hard. I was hoping you’d feel bad for me and I could have ice cream.”
A full laugh rumbles out of JJ as he sets her down. “I don’t feel bad for you at all. You just skated.”
She zeroes in on me as I catch up to them. “Can Addie come for ice cream too?”
Kneeling in front of her, unlacing her skates, he peers up at me. “Can you?”
I shrug. “Only if I eat all my vegetables first. I need extra protein and veggies after kicking everybody’s butts at practice today.”
Avery’s eyes go wide. “Did you kick my dad’s butt too?”
“Nope, but she was definitely staring at it,” JJ mutters, his neck craned so he’s facing me and not his daughter.
I knee him in the back, making him tip forward.
He steadies himself with one hand on the bench beside Avery. “What?”
I shake my head at him and his cocky smirk.
“You shouldn’t use your hands or your legs when you get mad, Addie. Right, Dad?”
JJ gives me a ridiculously fake serious face, nodding. “Absolutely right, Avey. We never use our hands or legs to express our anger. We use our words. Adeline, do you want to tell us how you feel about seeing my butt today?”
I snort. “I hate you.”
Avery tuts. “We use our words, but we don’t say that. Right, Daddy?”
JJ glances back at his daughter, a real affectionate smile on his face again. “You’re right, Aves. We don’t tell people we love that we hate them.”
“And you love my daddy, right, Addie?”
Oh, he got me good with that one.
JJ drops to his ass on the floor and hangs his head, hiding a smile.
I inhale deeply and nod. “Yup, I love you guys so much.”
She smiles. “I love you too. Now let’s go get ice cream.”
“Nice try, tiny skater,” JJ says with a laugh. “After dinner.”
I sit next to Avery and get to work removing my skates while JJ does the same thing from the floor.
“Can I see my video?” Avery asks.
JJ digs his phone out of his pocket and pulls up the video, then hands the device to her.
Her eyes are wide, as she watches, and I swear to god she’s studying her every movement carefully. It’s the way I watch game tape. I can practically see her wheels turning, like she’s working out what she should do differently next time.
For a moment, I forget that she isn’t mine.
Suddenly, I understand how Beckett must have felt all those years.
This kinship. This pride. This feeling that maybe she could be a little like me.
It doesn’t matter that we aren’t related by blood.
I’m here for this moment. And I want to be here for as many moments as JJ will allow me to be.
Because Avery deserves people in her life who show up.
And the more of us, the better.