Chapter 28
Mila
Chills erupt when a shoulder brushes against mine. “ Is everything alright?”” Jared asks as he joins me. I flex my toes, but the ground beneath my feet does little to settle me.
I find myself sinking deeper into the school ’ s thick metal gates. There ’ s a part of me that longs for the bars to open, pushing me back inside, trapping me with Dash.
The guards near Jared and me are edging closer, constantly monitoring and reporting. Within the school, we have unlimited freedom, but exiting through the gates is more challenging than anticipated. There is only one person my dad would trust to take me off the campus, only for a few hours, that is.
Glancing at the ground, I search the soil for evidence. The grass looks clean, but I know it has hungrily drunk up the spilled blood from my fellow peers. The dirt is like a demon that swallows up everything.
Kids have tried to escape The Cleansing; others just wanted freedom. Perhaps they had a fleeting moment to taste it before someone dragged them back inside.
“ How did you get past the guards?”
“ I ’ m a scholarship kid. They don ’ t care if I come and go,” Jared retorts with a hint of pain. I peer up at him and realize that I don ’ t know much about him. He rarely mentions his family or his past life outside these walls.
“ I didn ’ t do it, Jared.” I admit, crossing my arms.
“ I know,” Jared replies. Is that disappointment in his tone?
“ Was it King?” He implies.
I shrug. I don ’ t know if it was Dash who had Mr. LeBlanc killed.
I sense Jared watching me now as if the dilation of his pupils can tear me open and see the secrets and lies deep inside of me.
“ Who do you think did it?” My question is hesitant like slowly opening the cage door to an unknown beast lurking behind it.
His lip twitches. Was he going to smile?
“ It doesn ’ t matter. Death here is just a normality. No one cares.”
An uneasiness rumbles in my stomach as I take a slight step back. Tires screech, causing both Jared and me to look at the car racing through the school gates. My escape is almost here, closer and closer, like the sun rising.
There is one person in my life I can call to help me. Unlike Dash, he has never granted me the full chance at freedom, only a few hours' reprieve. I called him because I felt like I was going to explode right into Dash ’ s arms.
I didn ’ t know if Dash would accept me or shove me away. I can ’ t risk my heart anymore today.
I push off the wall and turn to face Jared. “ I ’ m sorry I failed you and all the other kids.” My vision blurs with tears.
Jared ’ s shoulders slump. “ I shouldn ’ t have asked you to do that. I know you’re not like the other privileged kids here. You ’ re different.”
“ I think the word you ’ re searching for is coward.”
“ This world is so fucked up. Since when did not killing a man make a person a coward?” Jared grunts.
My tears fall freely.
“ Don ’ t cry.”
I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand.
“ Let me be your friend.”
I shake my head. “ I don ’ t think I deserve a friend right now, Jared. I just need to be alone.” The car starts trudging up dust from the long gravel pathway to the isolated school.
“ Mila,” Jared exhales, but I ’ m already turning and grabbing the car door.
I shove myself inside, feeling like an unwanted AD thrusted into a passerby ’ s hand. “ Drive. Please fucking drive!” I state, then I begin to cry.
***
“ Hey!” Dom slows the car once we are near the gates. “ You gotta tell me you're physically fine or I have to stop the car, Mila.”
It ’ s not the first time Dom has picked me up in tears. “ I ’ m okay.” I snort, desperately trying to dry my eyes. I glance over at Dominic Thornton, Dom for short, the closest thing I have to a friend in my world. Dominic is the son of my father ’ s business partner so he knows exactly what my life has been like. We ’ ve grown up together having spent some years in the same school. He ’ s two years older and now attends Empire University studying law because he will be forced to take over for his father. Lucky for me, Empire University is only a short drive from here, so Dom can come when I call.
Dom always comes, no matter the place or time.
“ It ’ s okay, Mila,” Dom presses the gas again and swings his arm around me. His sandalwood scent envelops me. “ You ’ ll survive. You always do.”
“ This is different.” I mutter tightly. Dash King is my wrecking ball. He ’ s already struck. Now the only thing that matters is how I scatter.
I envy how Dash hates. I wish my love could be tainted and twisted like his. If only I could mimic Dash ’ s tendency to push me away, only to pull me back in again.
Despite his deep hatred for love, Dash fails to recognize that hate is a passionate emotion that drives actions. As a result, his hatred constantly fuels the very thing he despises most. His feelings for me.
Dom drives till we reach our favorite field. We used to come here when he attended school. We ’ d sit and talk, laugh and shout as if we were two normal teens just enjoying life. Dom made me promise not to do anything unless it was with him. The first time I got drunk was with him here on this field.
I haven ’ t kept that promise. I ’ ve done a lot of stupid things.
“ You get the blanket, I ’ ll get the booze, unless you want me to keep driving?” He grins.
I shake my head, “ No. This is fine.”
We walk out to where the wild grass is tall and covered in flowers, perfectly hidden from those driving by. My nostrils inhale; the air is slightly fresher with the start of spring ’ s fragrance. I spread out the blanket as Dom begins to open the bottle of vodka.
He hands me the bottle and I take a sip. “ Ugh, it ’ s disgusting.”
He snorts a laugh. “ I suggested chocolate last time, but you said that was for emotional train wrecks, alcohol was for drowning sorrows. So tell me what you're trying to silence, Mila?”
“ Myself,” I grunt as I take another sip.
I offer him the bottle, but he declines. “ Not today. I have exams this week.”
“ I ’ m sorry.” I tuck the bottle between my thighs.
Reaching out, he delicately tucks my hair behind my ear. “ Never apologize for calling me. You know I ’ ll always come.” Dominic’s always tender with me, like an older brother should be. Even in the past when we both drank, he always remained more sober.
“ I know.”
“ Talk to me.” He urges as he kicks off his shoes and leans back on the blanket.
I play with the top of the bottle. “ I asked someone to sleep with me.” I snort, “ actually I begged him and he turned me down.” I blurt out.
“ What!” Dom jack hammers up.
“ I ’ m a mess, Dominic” I raise the bottle to my lips, pressing the thick glass to my lips that are still sore and swollen from Dash ’ s kisses.
“ Mila,” he shifts his body so his shadow covers me.
“ I don ’ t know who I am.” But Dash King does.
“ Whoa, slow down. Start from the beginning.” Dom states, but his brotherly tone has vanished. His body flexes as if he ’ s ready to fight for the honor I tried to give away.
“ The beginning, ’ I mutter, my eyes drifting to the old blanket we have shared so many hopes and dreams on. “ I feel everything, Dom, the crushing fear of my trapped future, the excitement of breaking the rules, the rush of finding control, and the aftermath of losing my mind.” I hesitate. “ At the same time, I feel…nothing.”
I didn ’ t disclose that Dash ’ s arrival completely transformed everything. His icy blue eyes carved open my chest; his cruel tongue wrapped around my heart and squeezed it, forcing it to pump out feelings just for him to devour.
“ How can a person feel yet be numb?” I cry.
How can I love and hate the same person?
How can that person trap me yet offer me freedom?
My shoulders rise and plummet as I grip the bottle like a net, trying to catch me. “ I can ’ t survive this world, Dom. I need to leave.” I turn my red and teary eyes towards him. “ Help me.”
Why does that request feel like I ’ m betraying Dash?
“ Mila,” he licks his lips as he withholds the truth. He won't help.
“ Can you help me runaway?”
His face falls. He ’ s my friend, but his loyalty is elsewhere. To his father, to my father whom he ’ d never betray for me.
“ You ’ re having a bad day.” Dom mutters.
“Or a bad life.”
He reaches for the bottle grasped tightly in my hand. He uncoils my fingers and holds them. “ Don ’ t do anything stupid. Don ’ t let anyone hear you ask that.”
“ I already have done something stupid!”
I cut myself!
Made a deal with the devil!
Kissed a King!
Lusted after a broken prince!
I relinquished the sole possession my world couldn ’ t take away. My heart.
I have nothing left.
I look away out at the field as I plaster a sad smile over my lips. “ I ’ ve been lying to you, Dom. I hate my life. I hate dance. I found someone I could finally shout this to. It felt…so god damn freeing. I felt relieved.” I grab my chest. It hurts so bad. The games have only begun.
How to I stop the pain now that I can feel?
“ But he ’ s like all the men in my life.” A tear escapes. “ A master manipulator, but behind his thick walls, I see someone I could love.” I shake my head. “ But I don ’ t think he can love me back. He couldn ’ t even sleep with me.”
“ Who are you talking about?” Dominic growls, his tone full of possession.
“ I ’ m breaking!” I scream suddenly, wishing Dash was here because he ’ s the only one who can understand me.
My phone rings; I pull my hand free from Dom to grab it. Speak of the devil, Dash ’ s name flashes on the screen.
I stand and start to giggle. “ I want to escape, but I can ’ t.” I grip the phone like a baseball and throw it into the field.
Dom grabs me in a bear hug slamming me to his chest, “ Listen to me,” He shouts in my ear. “ Listen,” he shakes me. “ You ’ re having a bad day, but you see that field right in front of us? Look at it, Mila. Tomorrow a new sun will rise and the day begins again. It will get better. There is someone out there who truly loves you and one day you will finally realize that.” I ’ m taken aback by his sudden kiss on the edge of my lips.
That was a mistake, right? He meant to kiss my cheek like he always does.
He pulls us down on the blanket again, pressing my back against his chest. “ What if my life gets worse?”
“ It can ’ t because you just learned from your mistakes.” He declares fiercely. He lays us back, holding me tight. We lay in silence as my breath slows, the clouds changing above us.
“ I don ’ t want you to break, Mila. Promise me you ’ ll come to me sooner, so I can catch you before you fall.”
Oh Dominic… you just proved to me that I should have danced with the devil and not called you to sweep me away instead. I ’ m already broken. Dash knows that and, in his own sick way, I believe he is trying to piece me back together again.
Dom might be my friend, but friends will only tell us what we want to hear. Sometimes you need the enemy to point out your faults.
Dom doesn ’ t see the real me. Dash does.
“ You ’ re right.” I begin to lie painting the fake picture that this is just a teenage melt down. Dom will buy it, they all do. Except Dash, he wants something real and not manufactured, and like the seasoned buyer, Dash knows what is real versus what is phony.
“ I ’ m just having a bad day mixed with hormones. I ’ m fine.” No one hears me except for my devil. That ’ s why I sold my soul to him.
“ Save yourself, Mila. Wait until a guy comes along that deserves you. He ’ s out there. Trust me.” He kisses the top of my head.
I don ’ t reply. I ’ m tired of waiting.
“ Can you do me a favor?” I ask.
“ Of course.”
“ Can you take me to an art supply store before you drop me off?”
“ Sure. Why?”
Because I need to purge this plague from my mind.