Chapter 34
Mila
Every predator reacts differently when they sense their end is near. Some go out fighting, some turn into prey and flee, others dare to lazily ignore the Grim Reaper and continue living as if death can ’ t touch them.
Dash does the latter.
I do the first.
I think Dash knows our time is coming to an end because he doesn't wait for me after practice. I walk back to our dorms alone, feeling vulnerable in the cold. It ’ s as if Dash is preparing me to survive without him by my side.
Carrying the note in my bag feels as heavy as pulling a chariot. I have to deliver the message and hope Dash can save himself.
In the end, you think about the beginning and replay all the memories. I believe in love at first sight, as well as hate. My initial reaction to Dash wasn ’ t love. It was hate and admiration.
Don ’ t judge me.Many feel the same way when they dare to look the devil in the eye.
Bravery, stupidity, a longing for more. That ’ s what darkness does; it blinds you, making you no longer scared because you can ’ t see what ’ s coming for you.
Dash ’ s darkness cloaks me; I feel brave, used, and loved. Whether it ’ s good or evil that pampers you, it doesn ’ t matter. If you need love and are shown it, you will cling to it.
I cling to what Dash gives me.
When he pushes me, I rush forward. I know I ’ ll have to fight, because when I give him the note, he ’ s going to slink away into the dark depths of his beautifully twisted mind.
I ’ ve thought about how and when to do it. Do I give him the letter at dinner with Dante and Cillian in front of an audience so he has to try to remain composed and not lash out?
Or alone where I can see the truth. His fear.
Dash must anticipate that day inching up on the horizon. He must.
My trembling fingers grip my bag. The mattress squeaks behind me as Dash sinks into it. This is when we usually bask in each other ’ s presence as we do mindless tasks. I usually break in a new pair of pointe shoes. Dash does his homework, an act all too normal for him.
Slowly, I lower my bag to the ground. I want one night with him.
One night.
I know as soon as he peels back the paper and reads the ink, my broken prince will cease to exist. The prince can ’ t survive The Cleansing. A king can.
I turn, my lungs pushing against my ribs in a painful inhale that causes icy blue eyes to glance my way. Shoulders tense. Dash sits up. “ What ’ s wrong?” He asks.
My gulp lodges in my throat. I feel like I can ’ t breathe. I need him to help me. Closing the distance, I climb onto his bed and straddle him.
“ Mila,” a growl slips from his poisonous lips. Outside of the shower, Dash is cold and distant. He acts as if my presence is a nuisance, but I ’ ll tell you a secret: it ’ s a lie. I ’ ve woken up to his fingertips trailing over my skin as I sleep. A soft, unspoken caress of passion.
“ Please, Dash,” I shift my hips up, and in a matter of seconds, his cock starts to harden.
Eyes narrow. All-knowing eyes that see through me. He snatches my neck, jerking my face closer to his. His lips sear mine in a devouring sickness that is the definition of a twisted delight.
He bites my lip, causing an ache of pain before he releases my mouth, his hand still curled around my neck. “ You have been playing the role of a beggar, little fox.” His spine straightens, causing my core to grind down over his hardness. I close my eyes at the pleasure starting to build. A desire I know he ’ s going to deny me.
“ You ’ re playing a game because you desperately want something from me.” His pupils dilate, causing the small amount of hazel in his eyes to vanish. “ What are you scared of losing, Mila?”
“ You,” a whisper from my trembling lips. “ I don ’ t want to lose you.” And in a matter of minutes, I will.
He snickers cruelly, but it doesn ’ t reach his blackened eyes. “ You can ’ t lose something you never had.”
Pain inflicts my thoughts. “ Liar.”
“ I never said I wasn ’ t a liar. I never claimed to be noble, Mila. I always told you the truth. It ’ s you who has this new desperate idea to change my colors. I ’ m not a fox. I can ’ t change who I am.”
You don ’ t have to change what you are; just change where you are.Foxes move and travel in order to survive. Why can't you do that for me?
“ Tell me what you ’ ve been hiding?” He demands. His fingers skirt over my skin until his thumb tugs on my bottom lip. “ Don ’ t make me pull the truth from you, little fox.”
Tears cover my eyes.
It ’ s never going to happen. I ’ m a fool in love with a man who doesn ’ t know how to translate my definition of it.
“ I want you to love me,” I whisper.
“ And I want you to hate me.” Our eyes lock. Agony clashes with malice. “ It seems we are at a crossroads. I wonder who will win.” Dash ’ s smirk slices my hope in half.
“ Stop trying to fix me.” He mutters as he drops his hand and pushes me off of him. “ I ’ m tired.” He lays back and rolls over.
Hurt and embarrassment flash through me. “ I shouldn ’ t have to beg you to sleep with me. Any other man would give into me.”
Muscles twitch.“But you don ’ t want any other man, do you, Mila? You want me. Take what I give and stop expecting more.”
“ You ’ re scared. I can help you.”
He jackknifes up, rage boiling over his skin. “ How would you do that? Can you fight, Mila? Can you take a life? No,” he viciously laughs, “ You ’ re useless.”
Ignore him.
He ’ s scared because he senses the end. He doesn ’ t mean it.
“ Stop,” he leans closer, “ trying to fix me.” Our breaths mingle freely in a silent taunt to my lust.
“ No.” I swallow.
His eyes lock onto mine in a chilling challenge.
“ You started it. You were the one who pulled me into your web. You needed me. You ’ re stuck with me, Dash. I know you want me, and you ’ re too scared to admit it.” I roll off his bed and grab my bag. The sound of the zipper fills the silence. “ One day, you ’ re going to regret this night. When your life flashes in your cold blue eyes, you ’ re going to wish you slept with me. It ’ s going to haunt you.” I toss the note onto his sheets. It feels like I casually pulled the trigger of a gun. His eyes follow it as his face turns a faint shade of pale.
I hug my bag to my chest. “ Whether you live or lose, remember this, Dash. You owe me a favor, and I intend to collect.”
It takes all my newly found strength to turn and walk out that door. I ’ ve been playing the game all wrong. I ’ ve been begging.
Kings are used to beggars.
I need to be something different, something Dash can ’ t ignore.
I need to be his equal.