Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
KEATON
C an this month be over?
On second thought, make it the year.
No. I actually want to skip life, like in that Adam Sandler movie Click . I’ll just press fast-forward until I find a moment when everything’s fixed, and I can just be by the beach drinking a pina colada.
Is that too much to ask?
Probably, but no one would blame me for dreaming of fruity drinks and peaceful scenery. I deserve a break.
All my life I’ve been handling everybody else’s lives while barely managing my own.
My life has one speed: run as fast as you can.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been rushing toward the finish line without enjoying the journey.
I don’t know what’s waiting for me on the other side.
Is there even a finish line? I might be on a hamster wheel and just don’t know it.
I shut off the water and get out of the shower, almost shaking.
Last night, the water heater stopped working.
I need to call the plumber, but I can’t afford it.
Tomorrow, I should wake up earlier and go for a run.
I won’t notice the temperature of the water.
Since I’m freezing, I hurry to get dressed.
I’m not surprised when Savannah begins knocking on the bathroom door. “Hurry up. I need to shower too!”
“Five minutes. I’ve been here for only five minutes. Can you just…?” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Don’t engage, I order myself.
She can knock as much as she wants, I’ll finish when I finish.
“What do you want me to do, Keaton? I’m supposed to be at work in twenty minutes.”
Wake up earlier, I want to suggest, but there’s no use.
Savannah only understands her schedule. Everyone else’s is secondary.
I’m not saying she’s selfish, just that Mom raised us completely different.
While she made sure that I took care of her and everyone around me while growing up, she shielded my sister from everything.
Savannah believes the entire human race is here to serve her.
I should explain to her that life doesn’t work that way, but I don’t have the energy to deal with it.
There are more pressing things that need my attention.
Instead of styling my dark wavy hair, I blow dry it quickly and pull it into a messy bun. I can do my makeup during the bus ride.
“You took your sweet time,” she says when I come out of the bathroom.
“We have to work on a schedule.”
She glares at me. Her eyes are green, like her father’s. We share our mother’s upturned nose and big hips. She’s only five foot tall.
Savannah gives me a challenging look. “There’s a lot of things we need to do and yet, it’s impossible. Have you figured out how we’re going to pay the bills? We need to replace a lot of appliances.”
I want to remind her that she’s no longer a child. We’re both adults and the responsibility of the bills, and our mother, should fall on both of us, not just me.
But is eighteen considered adulthood? Maybe I’m being too hard on her.
Am I just jaded and tired?
Taking a long, cleansing breath, I try to relax.
“Listen, Savvy, I’m working on figuring out how to get the bills up to date,” I lie. It seems easier than explaining to her that we’re royally fucked.
Two years ago, when I agreed to come back home to help Mom, I didn’t know things were bad.
She was in financial trouble, jobless, and losing her mind—literally.
Since then, I’ve been trying to keep things afloat, but we’re about to lose the house, and I don’t know what’s going to happen with Mom if we can’t pay her medical bills.
The insurance doesn’t cover all her expenses.
“You could ask for a raise,” she suggests.
“As I said, I’m working on it.” I almost grind my teeth.
“Whatever,” she says with that snippy tone I hate. Before I can tell her that I’m not in the mood for her attitude, she rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door.
“By the way, the water is cold,” I call out as I grab my purse.
I walk out of the house satisfied, knowing she won’t be enjoying her shower either.
For some reason, I feel like I won something. It makes this day a little more promising.
It’s the little things that make all the darkness around me bearable.
Are we about to lose everything?
Probably, but I’ll fight until the last minute to avoid the impending doom.