Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
KEATON
W hen I’m in Aslan’s home, I’m transported to Utopia, or Disneyland for the workaholics.
There’s something in that penthouse—other than the unlimited reserve of wine—that makes me want to stay there forever.
Leaving the place is almost as sad as exiting the pool after a long summer day or a recreational park as they’re closing it.
I was having the time of my life, and then boom, it was time to head back to reality.
That’s a lie. We were quietly drinking wine, eating, and listening to music. Sometimes sharing a moment of silence with him is better than anything else in the world.
Tim drives me home. I accept, but only for today. Aslan thinks I’m going to be using him until he can figure out how to get a car.
I don’t need a car, nor his driver.
He’s doing a lot for me already. I can’t keep taking from him.There has to be a limit. Though, I could use…his lips.
Today I was so tempted to just kiss him. On our way back from Paradise Bay I almost crawled onto his lap, hugged his neck, and pressed my lips against his.
I didn’t.
When I arrive at my house, the foreclosure notice is gone.
For one whole second, I’m relieved, but the anxiety wave crashes against my chest once I remember what I promised—to be Aslan Spearman’s girlfriend.
At least it wasn’t anything crazy, like marrying him or being his fiancée. Yet, in less than a second, another wave hits me just as hard when I think about the money I owe him. I might not be able to repay my debt—ever.
Well, that might change when we acquire Monti Media, and I head to work as the president of that company.
I’ll sell the house once we’re ready to move to Arizona.
That should cover some of those expenses.
I don’t even know the value of the house or if we’ll be able to get anything back from the bank.
It pains me to get rid of Savannah’s legacy. This house has been in her father’s family for more than a hundred years. I can’t believe Mom risked this place, but I shouldn’t be surprised. As always, I need a miracle so I can keep it and save us.
“Is everything okay, Ms. Nealy?” Tim’s voice drags me out of my head.
I turn around and realize he’s standing next to the car, I guess waiting to see me go inside.
“Yes, thank you for bringing me home.”
“Are you sure? I could call Mr. Spearman.”
Please, call him and tell him I want to spend a few more hours with him. He’s good at helping me forget how much my life sucks. I feel my heart sink when I remind myself he’s my boss.
He’s not here to support me while life keeps throwing punches at me. I learned at a young age never to depend emotionally on anyone, and I’m not going to start doing that today.
“I’m fine. Please, don’t worry about me. Again, thank you for bringing me home.”
I finally gather up the courage to enter. Nothing is different, and yet, it feels like a new place. The air is lighter, and the house looks brighter.
There’s a note next to Aslan’s black credit card on the coffee table.
I’ll be at Lex’s house. Don’t wait up.
Savvy
Don’t wait up?
I should find her and drag her home. The last time I told her to be careful with that guy, she said I shouldn’t worry about him.
Don’t worry? The guy was named after Lex Luther, of course, I’m concerned.
It’s not as if I’d breathe easier if he were named Clark or Bruce, but his name doesn’t give me much confidence.
Nor his life. He’s a high school dropout who spends more time playing video games than looking for a job.
If Mom were well, she’d be on her case. Wouldn’t she?
Probably not. I don’t want to think of their life if Mom was better. I wish I could help Savannah. She should be going to therapy and…as soon as we’re in Arizona, everything will be fine, I repeat.
But what if Savannah refuses to go with us?
I pray to God that she agrees to come with me to Arizona.
It’s a new beginning. She can apply to the University of Arizona and figure out her future.
My heart sinks as I realize this will be a battle.
She’ll fight me the same way she fights everything I suggest.
I’m wrong. I’m not her mother. I’m doing everything wrong.
It’s not like her mother did something right. There might be an age gap between us, but I lived with Mom too. She wasn’t an easy person, unless she was a lot different with Savannah. Maybe she got a better version of her. I’ll never know.
Stop worrying about her and the future, Keaton.
One minute.
Can I have a minute of peace?
I need just one minute to breathe and not worry about my current situation or our future.
My mind just can’t stop planning and solving every little problem that seems to pop out like dandelions in the middle of a field. Every time I bring up Arizona, Savannah changes the subject. She doesn't want to discuss it. If she wants to stay behind…well, she can’t. Mom and I are leaving.
I close my eyes, wishing I was back with Aslan in his apartment.
Earlier today, I felt like I could just relax and stop thinking about how much my life sucks.
I wish I had taken a few bottles of wine from his magical fridge.
There was a rosé calling my name. I should’ve just grabbed it and… I can’t keep taking advantage of him.
Instead of heading to my room, I walk to my fridge, praying there’s some orange juice. There’s none, but I’m happy to see that Savannah replenished the refrigerator. She even bought me some oat milk. I’m glad we’ll have something to eat tomorrow.
Since nothing appeals to me, I move on to my next big problem—the past-due notices.
I spend the next couple of hours going through all the bills we’ve ignored. Aslan’s card is on the table as if waiting to be picked up so I can use it. Should I? He left it here because…did he forget it?
I send him a text.
Keaton: You forgot your credit card.
Aslan: Nope, I left it there so you can pay all your past-due bills.
Keaton: You already did a lot for us.
Aslan: It wasn’t enough. You left still worried about tomorrow, and the day after and…I just want to make everything better for you.
Keaton: It’s impossible, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now that Mom’s bills are paid, and she’s in a better center, I can focus on picking up the house and making Savannah help me with it.
Aslan: If you want, I can send my housekeeper to your house tomorrow.
For one moment, I’m tempted to accept, but then, I glance at the pile of dirty dishes that Savannah has been neglecting for days and reply.
Keaton: So Savannah can skip her chores?
Keaton: Nope.
Aslan: You’re going to be the bad cop when we have children, aren’t you?
I read the text a couple of times. My heart is suddenly beating so hard and fast I feel slightly dizzy. I might be hyperventilating. Did he say when we have children? I take a deep breath and text him.
Keaton: Are we having children?
I read it before pressing send and end up deleting it. What am I thinking? No. What is he thinking? Maybe it was autocorrect screwing up his text.
Keaton: Excuse me?
Aslan: One of us has to play bad cop and the other the good one—or not as bad.
Who is us? My heart beats fast again. I don’t know what to say.
Aslan: In our case, Dad was the bad cop. Well, not always, but most of the time.
He doesn’t talk much about his father. Is he walking down memory lane? Did something happen? I hope that helping me with Mom didn’t trigger him.
Keaton: Are you okay?
Aslan: Probably not. I should’ve stopped three scotches ago.
Keaton: Are you at a bar?
Aslan: I think we’re drunk.
And there’s the we again.
Keaton: Are you alone?
Aslan: No, my brothers are here. Except for Caspian.
Keaton: How about your sisters?
Aslan: Cory is working, and Fern thinks we’re a bunch of idiots.
Keaton: I wish I had a bigger family.
Aslan: I can share mine with you.
I wish I could accept his offer. Wouldn’t it be great to have brothers and sisters? Dreaming doesn’t cost a thing but having a crush on my boss and his amazing life isn’t healthy. In a couple of months, I’m leaving. He’ll go back to…I don’t even understand why he keeps his heart safe.
“You’re one to talk, Keaton,” I say out loud.
When was the last time I went out on a date?
Four years ago? The two years I dated Patrick, we never went out on a date.
He was always working, dining with his clients, or traveling.
When we got together, we usually stayed in my studio—unless he needed me to play the part of the cute girlfriend for work events.
“Why would I want to go out and have fun when that’s what I do for a living, Keaton?” He’d say every time I hinted that we should go on a date.
I’m better on my own. Every time I have a relationship, it ends because I’m boring, or as Patrick said, I had too much baggage.
Maybe everything will be different in Arizona. I’ll shed all the baggage I carry and be fun, carefree, easy-going Keaton Nealy. Only a few more months and I’ll learn what happiness looks like.