13. CHAPTER 13
W hy the fuck couldn’t Tek have had a sister? Nineteen and forbidden, or not, there’s no way she’d have been able to look at me like Jin just did, then leave.
Pausing the game, I dip my hand beneath the towel and grab my semi-hard dick.
I hear the shower turn on, and squeeze myself tighter.
Sinking further down on the couch, I rest my head back and close my eyes.
Why can’t he be a girl? One desperate to suck my cock.
I’d rather have a clean dick than a clean cabin any day.
I’d have her blow me every morning before coffee, and I'd eat her pussy every night for dessert.
The best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else, isn’t it?
But I’m not that lucky.
I’m never that lucky.
Ten days.
Ten fucking days.
Sometimes it feels like all I do is think about jerking off.
And I shouldn’t have to worry about when or where I do it because I have a goddamn shadow following me around.
I mean, fuck. If I’m on the roof fixing solar panels and the mood strikes, I should be able to whip it out, balls to the wilderness, and come wherever the hell I like.
The only reason I’m up this early on a day where I can’t go anywhere is because my dick was so fucking hard I couldn’t get back to sleep.
And with Jin there, with a free view right up to my bed, I had to deal with it in the shower.
He was totally passed out though. He didn’t even stir when I climbed down the stairs. He just laid there on his side, his lips slightly parted. I could have—
“The fuck?!” I curse aloud and shoot to my feet. The towel falls to the ground and I’m left standing naked with Jin less than ten yards away in the exact same predicament.
Except I bet his dick isn’t hard.
Or maybe it is.
Stop. Just fucking stop. I beat the side of my head with the heel of my palm and make a B-line for the kitchen.
Frigid lake water from the tank below the kitchen sink is pouring out of the faucet a second later, and I’m splashing it on my cock and balls. Except it isn’t enough.
Grabbing a mug from the drying rack, I fill it, and with my dick as far over the sink as I can get, I start pouring the water onto my stomach. Quickly emptying the mug, I curse a string of the worst profanities I can grab at, and grip onto the window sill in front of me for dear life.
Once I've caught my breath, I storm to the bathroom and pound on the door with my fist. “Get the fuck out, Jin!”
After drying myself, I ball up the towel and peg it at the wall. “Don’t put those disgusting sweats back on!” I yell out again, and climb the stairs to my loft.
I crawl over my bed and pull out two pairs of sweatpants, a flannel, and a long sleeved raglan from my chest of drawers, then take two pairs of socks from a basket beside it.
Turning around to crawl back over to the stairs, I stomp my foot right above where I know the shower is with no intention other than to make the little shit think that I’ll beat his ass. “Hurry the fuck up!”
At the top of the stairs, I put on socks and pull on my black sweats. With my arms in the flannel, I throw the other clothes across the cabin and onto the couch.
I have half the buttons of the flannel done up when I reach the bottom of the stairs, and see Jin leaving the bathroom.
He’s got his dirty clothes in one arm while he holds the towel securely around his waist with his other hand.
It’s almost like a floor length skirt on him; his ankles only just showing as he gingerly walks across the floor boards towards me.
“Go put them in the hamper,” I say with a nod towards his arm, and he turns in that annoyingly silent way that boils my blood.
After returning from the bathroom, he pauses a few feet away and stares me dead in the eye before lowering his head like he’s ashamed of himself.
“Do I have to wait till the snow stops before I get new clothes? Or do I have to get my ass back into the bathroom and wash everything in the hamper as a thank you for letting me sleep in here?”
Well, fuck.
That didn’t feel as good to hear him say as it should have.
“Well, yes. But—”
Like a trained dog, Jintae turns—still clinging tightly to the towel around his waist—and walks to the bathroom.
“Get back here.” My voice raises as I grab his elbow, and when his head whips around, drops of water fly off his hair and hit me in the face.
His already fair skin pales to an almost ghostly white as his eyes pan down to where I’m gripping his elbow before returning to my face.
One drop at a time, I clear them from my skin then lean down to wipe them on Jin’s towel.
He smells like my body wash and shampoo. Black pepper and sandalwood. It’s almost too masculine of a scent for someone as small as him. But then his arm tenses in my grip, and I feel more strength than would ever come from a woman his size.
I want to challenge it.
I throw his arm away. “You don’t need to wash them now. We’ve got all day, and… I’ve still got plenty of clean clothes,” I mumble out the last part as I turn and walk towards the couch.
With my back still to him, I hold out the clothes in his direction. I can hear his footsteps soften when he reaches the rug, and my fingers grip tighter onto the clothes the closer he gets. With his first attempt, he can’t tug them free, and I don’t know why the hell I can’t just let him take them.
“Eden?” His voice is so soft I can’t resist looking at him.
He's let go of the towel and is holding onto my clothes with both hands, those dark eyes of his looking up at me in the same way a puppy would when trying to please his owner. Like he’s asking, “Have I been a good boy? I did everything you asked.”
The socks fall to the floor as I dart back to the kitchen.
I’m hungry.
He’ll be hungry.
Of course we’re hungry.
Eggs?
He’ll want eggs.
I need to use up the last of the fresh ones anyway.
I’ll have to make a loaf of bread soon. I’ve only got a few slices left.
Does he like tea, or is he a complete weirdo?
Will he want sugar?
How about milk?
There’s none fresh—
“There’s no underwear.”
He’s at my side again, with the towel back around his waist.
I can see shame weigh down his body when I step away, but he's too close. Whatever he needs to say he could have said from where I left him.
“What is it?” I ask, more gruffly than I should, then walk the griddle pan to the stove so I can hide the pang of self hatred that’s pinching at me.
“There’s no underwear. I mean, I should wash mine. They won’t take long to dry, that way I don’t have to wear your pants—“
“Do you have some exotic dick disease you don’t want me catching?”
“What? No!”
“I mean, I knew you got around, but I didn’t realize you were that much of a fuckboy.”
“I’m not. I’ve never—“
I bow my head and look at him with a raised brow as if to say, you’re full of shit . “I quit listening after the second cheerleader Tek told me about. But I know there was more.”
“There were,” he responds quickly with a tinge of, that’s right . You’re not the only one women want.
“Are you trying to impress me?”
“I’m trying to not be naked as soon as possible.”
“You’re not naked.”
“Eden,” he gripes.
“Just put the sweats on.” Jin opens his mouth, but as I walk past him, I hook my thumb into my pants and tug them down baring half of my ass cheek. “I never wear any. So unless you’ve got crabs, put the damn pants on, and shut up about it.”
He’s holding them out in front of him by the time I’ve got the oil, eggs, and bread.
“You’ve got five seconds before I do make you walk around naked.”
“Quit trying to get me naked in front of you.”
“I’m not,” I snap back.
“When you burnt me. When you stripped me in the truck. And now, makes three.”
“And you’re at fault for all of them.”
“Hardly. You were showing off. You left me to freeze. And you made me take a shower.”
“ You weren’t wearing a seatbelt. You put wet clothes back on. And you fucking reeked.”
“I can keep going all day,” Jin says smugly as he tugs the pants up his legs with the towel still wrapped around him. “But as it stands, the words make you walk around naked came out of your mouth and not mi—”
The television shakes on the wall when I slam Jin against it.
Just like the last time my hand was around his throat, his wretched fingers try with all their might to pry me away.
“Why the fuck would I want to see you naked?” I growl in his face, and like the spirit of someone else just entered his body, his arms go limp and his eyes stare straight through me.
“But you want me to see you naked. Isn’t that right?”
I squeeze tighter, but Jin’s eyes just roll back before refocusing.
“You want me to look at you.”
I press my palm harder against his windpipe, but he raises a leg and pushes his foot into my stomach. He doesn’t kick me, he just holds it there; his bare foot forcing the buttons of my flannel into my skin.
“You want me to because I’m the only option you have. You don’t care who looks at you, as long as it’s someone.”
His jaw digs into my hand as I take his entire weight, because now both of his feet are wedged against me.
“That’s why you get so mad when I ignore you.”
His voice strains, his toes curl, and my flannel rises.
“That's why you’re covered in tattoos… You’re so desperate for attention, you’ll do anything for it.”
“I knew there was a good reason I always hated you.”
“But not a good enough reason to choke me the whole way.” His hands rise again to wrap around my wrist. “Go on. I’ll even help you out.”
“I’ve never met a person as desperate to die as you.”
“And I…” Jin takes a breath in and I can feel it struggle down his throat. “Have never met someone as hell bent on prolonging someones torture for no reason.”
“Surely hatred is enough?”
“You sure that’s all it is?” Jin pulls back one of his feet from my chest and hooks his leg over my outstretched arm.
There’s nothing keeping me here—nothing logical anyway. I could easily pull him away with my free hand, but instead I use it to grab a clump of his hair which forces his eyes to open wider.
“You get off on it, don’t you? How much I’ve always wanted to impress you.
But that’s not why you hate me is it?” His other leg hooks over the first from the other side so his entire body is hanging off my arm.
“The cheerleaders wouldn’t touch you in high school, would they, Eden?
You started hating me when you found out about my first girlfriend.
Then Tek wouldn’t shut up about his pathetic little brother and how I went from girl, to girl, to girl, just like you before Shawn tied you down. "
My fingers wrench around Jin’s neck as tightly as they should have done when I first pushed him against the wall.
With his oxygen cut completely off, his arms and legs squeeze around me.
I step forward, my elbow bending until his legs are forced against my chest and I’m as close to him as I can get. “There’s nothing about you that’s anything like me.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” The last of Jin’s words huff out, and within a few seconds his eyes shut completely and his body starts to droop in my arms. Taking my hand from his hair, I watch his head sag to the side right before his grip falls limply from around my wrist.
I know I’m hurting him.
I know I should let go.
But I just… I can't keep looking at him every day.
I ease up on my grip around his neck, and squat as I slide his body down the wall.
With his back on the floorboards, I stare down at him; so strong in his words, so weak in his body—my hand still around his neck and his legs hooked over my bicep.
“They might not have touched me in high school, but I fucked that many of them after I lost count,” I tell him like he has any idea what I’m saying, or would even care if he did. And as I withdraw my hand, I hang my head in shame, because, if anything, I just proved him right.
“Such a loser,” the most tiny, hoarse voice crackles.
And when I look back at Jin, he has the cockiest grin on his drunk-looking face.
“You might be stronger than me, but you’ll never be smarter.
” With no time to react, he’s holding on to my arm again, and kicking his feet into my shoulders so hard that I fall backwards and bring him with me until he's squatting over my hips.
Then, before I have a chance to grab him again, he's jumping off of me, snatching up the socks and raglan, and dashing away to lock himself in the bathroom.