CHAPTER 24
Like always I’m awake before the sun, but this time, I’m not alone.
This time, I’ve got my arms wrapped around the man I’ve been lusting after since I was fourteen.
The man I fell for weeks ago.
The man I don’t want to ever let go of.
Tucked beneath my sleeping bag and the pile of blankets, we’re curled against each other. His back is flush against my chest, and I can feel all the hours he spent at the gym directly against my skin.
I don’t want to move, but I know I can’t stay here forever. I came all the way here to surf, and even though the waves are calling me, I can’t deny how content I feel.
It’s so simple.
So complicated, but still so simple.
Innocent. Just two people, holding each other all night, fighting off the cold with the warmth of the other's body.
It doesn’t matter what we say to each other out here. How we touch. Or if we kiss.
I get Tek’s apprehensions, I just don’t have any of my own. I couldn’t give two shits if people see us together, and that includes my parents. Let them think he’s too old, or is taking advantage of me, because I know the truth.
And then there’s Eden—the giant, walking red flag of unpredictability.
He might not care. Or he might care too much.
But does that really matter right now? He ran away. He said he’d be gone for months. That still gives us weeks to figure this all out before he blows back into town to fuck everything up…
I slide my arm out from beneath the pillow under Tek’s head, and drag my body away from him.
“Hmmm… Don’t go,” he hums, all drowsy and adorable, his hand reaching back and landing on my ass as he tries to pull me back against him.
I let him win this round and nuzzle my nose into his hair. “You’ve had me for hours.”
His hand slides down to the back of my calf as he guides my legs to bend against the back of his until it’s like we were never separated. “Not long enough. Let's go back to sleep for another hour.”
“I can’t.”
“The sun’s not even up.”
“It will be soon.”
He moans his disapproval. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go.” But also, I do. This is definitely a first for me.
“So why are you?”
“Because dawn is the best time to surf.”
He huffs again, and rocks his hips back. It’s a calculated attack, but I’m far more adept in dealing with men and their behaviors than he is.
I counter the pressure and grind my semi-hard dick against his insanely firm ass.
“Stay and have some fun with me.”
I press my lips to his ear. “No.”
He whines, “I thought you said you’ve wanted me for years.”
“That’s exactly why I can resist you, old man.” I grind against him again, and palm him through his underwear.
“This doesn’t feel like you’re resisting.”
“I think you’re far too used to being the one who always says no.”
It’s not technically a confession, but the way it feels like all his muscles turn to butter at my words, proves my point.
For a while I’ve thought like maybe it was all a show—his brooding tough guy image.
But now that I've literally had him naked beneath me, I can see that it's not. It’s all Tek, and it’s all too much.
Everything is. Too much for him to hold onto.
Too much for him to keep up with. All I did was find the loose thread and pull at it.
I didn’t put more on his plate, I cleared it.
All I did was ask.
All I did was show him that I’m capable of lightening his load.
I smirk to myself—so stupid.
I kiss his neck. “I’m getting up.”
“What am I meant to do?”
I sit up and look down at him. “How old are you?”
Turning onto his back, his biceps flex as he places his hands behind his head.
My eyes roll. “Showing me your muscles isn’t gonna work.”
“You sure about that?”
“Completely.”
Taking the stack of covers in one hand, he throws them back, uncovering us both. Then his thumb hooks into his boxer-briefs and he tugs at them until his cock is free.
Damn you Jeon Wootek and those three adorable freckles.
I wrap my lips around my teeth, and I just stare at it. Unmoving. Acting as unphazed as I can muster.
After several long seconds my head tilts, and I move only my eyes to focus on his. “I’ve already had it twice. And now that I know you won’t be keeping it from me, the urge to pounce has…” I pretend like I’m racking my brain for the word. “Diminished.”
I’m a damn liar.
Totally full of shit.
I could easily stay fifteen minutes more until we both come. Then Tek could go back to sleep and I could surf without a half-chub weighing me down. But all is still not forgiven.
Moving to the end of the mattress, I stand and step in front of the sink.
When I turn on the tap, frigid water pours out.
Fuck knows why there’s no water heater, or at least a battery and outlet so we can boil a kettle instead of relying on the fire.
I splash some on my face then slap my hands against my chest to shock my body.
Cupping my hands under the stream again, I wait till they’re half-full and quickly turn to pour it over Tek’s naked dick.
He clambers away, kicking at the blankets until he’s flush with the van’s back door. “What the fuck was that for?”
“I’m just helping you out.” I smile sweetly and bat my eyelids.
“You’re fucked.”
“Thank you.” My smile widens and I turn back to the sink.
Just like yesterday morning, brushing my teeth is potentially more painful than having them all fall out.
“You need to get a battery and an electric kettle, or find some non-mint toothpaste.”
“This trip wasn’t my idea.”
I agree with a nod. “Then you handle the battery and I’ll get the toothpaste.”
“What makes you think we’ll be taking another trip in this thing?”
I shrug. “You wanna keep me happy?”
“But you’re always happy.”
My head falls, and I grip onto the bench. “Do you really think that?” I ask, hoping I said it quiet enough that he won’t notice, but also needing him to have actually heard me.
“I think you want everyone to believe you’re happy.
” I hear him shuffle to the end of the bed, and within seconds his hands are sliding around my sides and his forehead is pushing against the base of my neck.
“Your smile is contagious. It does things to me. It affects people. You’re…
you’re just kind, even when you don’t need to be. ”
“But being kind doesn’t mean I’m happy.”
“So why do you keep smiling?”
“I guess the same reason you keep being an asshole.”
I feel him sigh against my back. “Am I really that bad?”
“Are you forgetting how you spoke to me when I asked to borrow your van?”
I’m met with silence, and I scrape my fingers over the wood of the kitchenette bench.
I know there are things he isn’t telling me.
I know he’s not a horrible person.
I exhale, but I only have myself to blame for expecting him to open up and tell me everything he’s been holding inside just because we slept together. Shit takes time, and he’s had more than a decade longer than me to perfect his defenses.
He nudges my ear with his nose. “Kiss me.”
“You don’t deserve it right now.”
His body tenses. “Why not?”
I smile to myself. “Because you haven’t brushed your teeth.”
Tek slaps my ass and I instantly bite my lips because I need to keep it together.
“I’ve gotta go.” I step out from in front of him and take my wetsuit from where it spent the night on the driver’s seat.
Tek looks down at me as I sit on the edge of the bed to start pulling it on. “Are you trying to run away from me?”
“Not at all.”
“Then why does it feel like it?”
I stand up and pull the wetsuit up my legs. “I can’t control how you feel.”
“Not true,” he smirks. “You’ve been in control of my thoughts for weeks.”
“Are you sure you’re not getting that confused with being in your thoughts?”
“I’d say they’re the same thing.”
With my arms in the suit, I zip it up. Taking the socks, I sit back on the bed and roll up the bottom of the legs so I can slip on the socks then pull the legs back down over the top.
Standing again, I gently push against Tek’s chest so he steps back.
“You’ve been in my thoughts, too. But I chose kindness. ”
“That’s because you’re an angel… When you’re not being a shit.”
I act coy and he growls, grabbing at my waist and trying to pull me closer. It’s possessive, and everything I want from him, but, “I just got into this thing, and I’m not getting back out of it till I’ve been in the ocean.”
“Do you plan on always being a tease now that you’ve broken me down?”
I push against his chest and lean back. “A tease?”
“Yeah.”
I act like I’m contemplating his question. “Maybe.”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
“Not if I kill you first.” I wink, grab my wetsuit cap from over his shoulder, then slip out of his hands. “Why don’t you start breakfast while I’m gone?”
“Don’t wanna.”
I look at him with an expression that says since when do you speak like that? “And why not?”
Tek flops back onto the bed. “I’m still pissed at you for splashing me.”
"Such a toddler," I mutter under my breath as I open the van door.
"You started it."
"You're only proving my point," I tell him as I look out over the pebbles, sand, and waves. "You and Eden are so made for each other."
"And what about me and you?"
I'm really not sure how I'm meant to answer that. I know I want to be with Tek, and I know anything short of that will feel like we're robbing ourselves of something that could be life changing. But whether we're actually good for each other remains to be seen.
I step out of the van filled with the lingering scent of two men and left over sex, and breathe in the fresh sea air. "Do you wanna stay another night?"
"That's a hard no."
“Why’s that?” I ask, still looking towards where the sun is just starting to break over the water.
“Cause I wanna get you in my real bed.”
I glance back over my shoulder at him. “How quickly you’ve forgiven.”
"You're easy to forgive… Now shut the door. It's fucking cold."
Tek pulls the van up out the front of Eden’s apartment building. I watch his hand as he turns the key, willing him to take it out of the ignition but too scared to ask him to do it.