Chapter 4
T wo hours later, Nathan finally collapsed into his own bed. The officers who’d arrived at the bank had wanted to take him to the hospital, but he’d vehemently rejected going there. He hated hospitals. He’d insisted his injuries weren’t severe enough to require a doctor. They’d taken his statement and offered to drive him home when they’d found out he had no one to pick him up. He’d put some antiseptic on the scrapes on his hands and on his chin, as well as on the cut on his throat. There wasn’t anything he could do for the cuts on his palms, but he’d put a small bandage on his chin. The one on his throat wasn’t significant enough for him to feel the need to cover it. Especially since it wasn’t bleeding still.
Sighing, he carefully pulled the sheet over himself and settled into the pillows. When Troy found out Nathan hadn’t called him, he’d lose his shit. Nathan winced as he remembered the very uncomfortable call to his boss, Stuart Starr. The man had been livid, threatening to fire him and blaming him for the money being stolen. After groveling for several long minutes, Stuart had begrudgingly let him keep his job and demanded he be at the store first thing in the morning. It meant Nathan would have to miss class, but he could easily borrow someone else’s notes.
His mind wandered back to Alan. Tomorrow he would research who the man was before he died and what caused him to lose his life. He wouldn’t be able to shake the ghost until he did. Tonight proved the faster he got rid of Alan, the better it would be for him. If Alan hadn’t been trailing him, the thief never would have been able to catch him unawares. His leg twitched at the memory of the attack and Nathan grimaced, reaching down to rub at the offending limb. He’d be lucky if he could walk semi-normal in the morning.
It took another hour of tossing and turning for his mind to quiet enough to allow him to sleep. The last thought on Nathan’s mind before he slipped into unconsciousness was of the sexy man who’d come into the shop looking for a classic rock CD.
“ W hat the hell, Nate?” Troy shouted when Nathan exited his apartment the next morning, locking the door and then hobbling down the stairs slowly.
Nathan winced and rubbed at his temples. “Don’t shout. My head is killing me.”
Nightmares of his parents’ accident and the spirits he’d encountered over the last six years had plagued him the entire five hours he’d remained in bed. One dream had left him shaken as he’d jackknifed from the mattress, sweating and trembling. He’d seen Erik Moore running in the opposite direction of him, horrified by Nathan’s abilities to see and speak to ghosts. What disturbed Nathan the most was how he already cared what the man thought when he’d only exchanged a few words with him in the store the other day. Nathan didn’t know why he felt so afraid of Erik discovering what he could do.
“What the fuck happened?” Troy demanded, gripping Nathan’s chin and tilting his face to examine the bruises and cuts.
Nathan jerked away, biting back a groan of regret at the abrupt movement. Pain medication for the days his leg acted up was nothing stronger than ibuprofen. The doctors refused to prescribe him anything else, as they considered him a suicide risk. Not only were his leg and head bothering him, but the impact on the sidewalk the previous evening had left several large bruises along his chest and stomach. “Someone mugged me on the way to make the night deposit.”
Troy swore ferociously. “I knew you shouldn’t go alone! Not at night! From now on, I’m coming to the store and going with you.”
“No!” Nathan protested. “I’m fine, Troy. It’s only some scratches.”
Scowling, Troy touched Nathan’s throat. “You call these scratches?”
Nathan frowned and reached up. His fingers grazed the small scab on his throat and he flinched. “It’s nothing.”
“Bullshit, Nate! Whether or not you like it, I’m going to be there every night. Got it?”
Nathan protested, but when he saw the determination in Troy’s eyes, he snapped his jaw shut. When Troy’s stubbornness came out, nothing could change his mind. “Fine,” Nathan groused.
Troy pulled Nathan into a tight hug, causing him to grunt in pain. “You’re like my brother, Nate. If anything ever happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Biting the inside of his bottom lip, Nathan returned the hug, closing his eyes at the warmth from his friend’s hard form. “I really am okay,” he murmured.
Troy leaned back. “I just worry about you, Nate.”
He knew Troy cared about him and how he feared one day Nathan would decide he couldn’t handle everything anymore and just end it. Over the course of two years following the accident, he’d seriously contemplated suicide more than once. First because of the blame he carried for his parents’ accident and then because he’d realized when they’d resuscitated him during surgery he’d come back wrong. Something had attached itself to him and wouldn’t let go. Troy had talked him down every time. Now Nathan knew it would be selfish to take his own life instead of living through the pain he carried inside of him. It was his penance for killing his parents.
“I promise I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
Troy stepped away with a sigh. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be there at night to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Nathan shrugged and looked past Troy, resignation setting in when he saw Alan. “It never would have happened if Alan hadn’t distracted me.”
Alan’s eyes widened at Nathan’s words and sadness swooped over Nathan. He gritted his teeth and held on to his own emotions by a thread. He didn’t care if his words hurt Alan. It was the spirit’s fault, after all.
“The ghost, the one from the other day, he’s been bothering you?” Troy asked.
Nathan snorted. “You know the second they find out I can see and hear them, they won’t leave me alone until I do what they want. He followed me from the store to the bank. I didn’t notice the bastard approach because of him.”
“Alan? That’s his name?”
Nodding, Nathan once more locked eyes with his newest challenge. “Yeah. I have to help him, or he’ll never leave me be.”
Alan frowned and floated closer. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I never intended for you to get hurt.”
“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” Nathan said.
Troy spun around, trying to see Alan. “He’s here?”
“Yeah. He’s here.”
“You have a lot of nerve, ass wipe,” Troy snapped.
Nathan watched Alan turn toward Troy. “You’re lucky I can’t slap you.”
Nathan grinned for the first time since Quinn had left the store last night.
“What did he say?” Troy growled.
“He said it’s nice to meet you,” Nathan lied.
Alan huffed and shook his head while Troy eyed Nathan.
“Look, Troy. I’m skipping class today. Stuart just barely agreed to let me keep my job after losing the money last night, but he wants me there first thing this morning. Most likely to resume yelling at me.”
“What?” Alan gasped. “It’s not your fault!”
Troy rolled his eyes. “Stuart is a grade A prick. I don’t know why you just don’t find another job.”
“Because I enjoy working in the music store, and the pay, despite Stuart’s tendency to be a dick, is good. Besides, Stuart knows no one else can run the store as well as me.”
“Then why does he have to be a jerk?”
“Genes.” Nathan glanced at his watch. “Go to class, Troy. I’ll be fine.”
“Let me at least drive you to the store.”
“No. The walk will help loosen the knot in my leg, and Stuart doesn’t get in until ten, so I have some time to run into the library to do a little digging on my newest problem. Besides, you don’t want to be late for class.”
Alan winced at Nathan’s words. Nathan didn’t feel guilty at all for making Alan feel bad, even if just a little, for demanding his help. If it hadn’t been for him, Nathan never would have gotten hurt or kicked out of class for a week.
Troy grunted. “Fine, just be careful.”
“I’ll be fine, Troy. Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’m picking you up after work and taking you home,” Troy insisted. “You better be there.”
Nathan scowled and tried to protest again, but Troy ignored him and tossed him a wave as he climbed into his car. “Stubborn ass,” Nathan muttered, watching Troy drive away.
“He really cares about you,” Alan said, drifting closer.
Nathan glared at Alan. “I know.”
“I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble.”
Shrugging, Nathan started limping toward the public library. He needed to use the internet, which he didn’t have in his place because he couldn’t afford a laptop. All of his studying took place at the college or nearby library. “Let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible. Hopefully, I can hold on to my job and get back to my life sooner rather than later.”
The walk to the library took about thirty minutes, a little longer than normal because of his leg. Nathan breathed in deep when he stepped inside. He’d always loved the smell of books. Old or new, it didn’t matter. The librarian glanced at him when he entered the building but went back to her task at hand, and Nathan headed toward the bank of computers. There were few people in the library so early in the morning in the middle of the week. He wouldn’t have to fight to keep the computer for longer than the allotted fifteen minutes.
Nathan sat down at the computer farthest from the librarian and clicked on the icon for the internet. Google popped up and he stabbed at the keys, punching in the spirit’s name, Alan Grant, along with the state. The first result showed a link to a newspaper story, and Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he could have this figured out before he headed to work, and Alan would be out of his life by the end of the week.
The article had an image of a wrecked vehicle, twisted and mangled, as if it had gone through a crusher at the junkyard. Nathan grimaced at the obvious violence in the crash and swallowed hard as memories of his parents and the accident which had claimed their lives washed over him. His fingers tightened on the mouse while sweat beaded on his forehead. Why did he have to acknowledge Alan’s presence?
“What did you find?” Alan asked, startling him.
Nathan jerked and in a tense whisper said, “You died in a car accident.”
Alan leaned in closer to the monitor, and Nathan resumed reading. Late evening a little over two years ago, the car had gone over the edge of a ravine, killing the single occupant on impact. They later identified the body as Alan Grant, twenty-four, and the police deemed it an accident, no foul play suspected. There were no witnesses, but the tire tracks left behind by the speeding vehicle suggested Alan had taken the curve in the road too fast and lost control of the car.
“That’s bullshit,” Alan burst out.
“You remember nothing at all?” Nathan said under his breath.
Alan sneered. “I’ve never been a reckless driver. There must be more to it than that. Is there anything else?”
Nathan clicked back and searched for another article. He found an obituary which listed roughly the same details and how Alan left behind his mother, father, younger sister, and his fiancé. The name of Alan’s fiancé caused Nathan’s blood to freeze in his veins and his breath caught. This couldn’t be happening. No fucking way! Nathan wanted to stand and run out of the library. He wanted to refuse to help Alan. The man Alan would have married was none other than the man who’d come into the music store the other day. Erik Moore. Nathan struggled to get hold of himself.
“You were engaged to Erik Moore?” Nathan finally growled between gritted teeth.
“Yes. Why?”
Nathan closed the internet and stood. He stalked out of the library and down the sidewalk, stopping in a nearby alley to catch his breath. Alan followed him the entire way, demanding to know why Nathan had left. Nathan leaned his back against the building and bent slightly at the waist, his hands on his knees. Fate undeniably had it out for him. It didn’t lack for irony or straight up aiming for his balls. How the hell could this possibly be happening?
“Nathan!” Alan said sharply.
“I’ve met your fiancé,” Nathan replied, tone bitter.
Alan brightened. “Really? When? Where?”
“At my store a couple of days ago.” He wanted to rage at the heavens, or maybe it would be more appropriate to rage at whatever hell lay beneath his feet. Had the devil gotten his claws into him when he’d died six years ago? Was the beast playing him as if he were a puppet for his amusement? Nathan finally collapsed down to the cement, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
Alan frowned, floating closer. “Why are you so upset? Did something bad happen when you met him?”
Nathan shook his head. “He came into the store to find a Pink Floyd CD. Someone stole his from his truck.”
A sharp intake of breath caused Nathan to look at Alan in time to see pain cross his face, and Nathan closed his eyes, struggling to keep Alan’s powerful emotions out. “Alan!” he said sharply.
Alan grunted and moved away from him. Nathan sighed in relief when the piercing fire pressing down on him abated. He opened his eyes to see Alan close to the opening of the alley. “What is the significance of that CD, Alan?” Nathan asked, not really wanting to know the answer but realizing mentioning the band had triggered Alan’s emotional reaction.
Melancholy replaced the pain, and Alan hugged himself. “Our song was on it,” Alan said, his voice hollow. “We planned it to be the song we walked into the reception with.”
Nathan ignored the loss he felt. He couldn’t differentiate if the feeling was his own or Alan’s anyway. “I see.”
“We met three years ago. Now it would be five years, wouldn’t it? I was in my second year of college and—”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Nathan said, cutting him off.
Alan gave him a sad smile. “I want to. I need to.”
Nathan bit back his irritation and nodded, turning his head to stare out into the street at the passing cars. “Fine.”
“I’ve always been outgoing, unafraid of talking to strangers, and never even stopped to think when I saw him. He was beautiful. Big broad shoulders, tanned skin, and dark hair so thick my fingers just itched to run through it. I got the impression he wasn’t much for malls with how uncomfortable he looked walking through the lady’s clothing department. At first, I thought I was out of luck and he had a girlfriend, but it turned out he’d gone to the mall to look for a birthday present for his friend’s wife.”
Nathan heard Alan’s tone soften as he spoke of Erik. “He looked so adorably out of place, and I took pity on him. We hit it off so fast my head spun. We made a date for the next night. When Erik proposed, I didn’t even hesitate to think about it. We started making plans for the perfect wedding immediately. Everything was going to be flawless.”
Swallowing, Nathan dug his fingers into his baggy jeans, wrapping the fabric around them to stem his disillusionment. Yet he found himself baffled at just how upset he truly was. He’d already convinced himself the man hadn’t been checking him out like Quinn had said or how he himself would never be ready for any relationship. Even if it was only physical. The scars on his body from the accident would turn off anyone the moment they saw them. Nathan swallowed again, trying to force the lump in his throat to dissipate.
“Do you remember anything about the accident?” Nathan finally brought himself to ask.
Alan gave a frustrated shake of his head. “No. It never even occurred to me I died in a car accident, but I know I never would have been driving recklessly. Especially so close to the wedding. Something isn’t right.”
“Well, until you can remember, there really isn’t anything I can do,” Nathan said and stood. “I have to get to work before my boss fires me. Try to remember. Think. Go over everything as far back as you can and then do it again. Maybe something will trigger a memory. You also need to go to familiar places. Your place… Er—your fiancé’s place.”
“We lived together the last year before we were to be married,” Alan replied distractedly.
Nathan ignored his stomach cramping at those words. Damn! Why the hell did it bother him so much? He couldn’t understand how he’d gotten so attached to a man he’d met once and for only fifteen minutes.
Maybe he needed to go back on the antipsychotic the psychiatrist had prescribed him. The little bottle of olanzapine sat almost full in his medicine chest back at his apartment. He’d taken them for a very short amount of time and had hated the way they’d made him feel. They’d stuffed his head with cotton and his veins with heroin, or at least it seemed as if the pills had the same effect on him that heroin would. After almost walking into the street without realizing a car was coming, he’d promptly stopped taking them.
“Then visit the place you were living together,” Nathan said and started walking.
Alan didn’t seem to take the hint and remained at his side. “Jesus, would you just fucking leave me alone for a while?” Nathan snapped. “I need time to myself, ya know!”
Several people around him stopped and stared at him, fear and discomfort clear on their faces. Nathan growled under his breath. “Fuck.”
Alan winced. “Sorry. I… I can’t get there on my own.”
“What?” Nathan whispered. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t. I’ve tried already, but I just hit an invisible wall or something.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Nathan ground out. He started walking as fast as his bad leg would allow. “So now I have to get you there? How am I supposed to do that?”
“Well, I can follow you.”
Nathan halted mid-stride and gave Alan a harsh look. “Seriously, dude? You expect me to just go up to this guy’s house and what? Walk in? Find a way for him to invite me in? How would you suggest I do that?”
“I don’t know,” Alan replied. “I’m sure you can think of something.”
Whispers reached Nathan’s ears, and he realized he’d once again been talking to Alan as if everyone could see him. People were crossing the street just to get away from him, and Nathan bit back the hurt. He buried the pain beneath disdain and sneered at some strangers, who startled and scurried away. Assholes.
Nathan resumed his trek toward the music store, this time ignoring Alan stalking him. He needed some time to think. “Just go away. I have to work and can’t do that if you’re there. Just… come back later.”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Alan put his hands up in a defensive gesture. “I’ll come back when the store is closed.”
Nathan tried to protest, but Alan disappeared before he could. The rest of the way to the store, Nathan brooded over the situation he once again found himself in. How the hell was he supposed to get into Erik Moore’s house? Maybe he didn’t need to get in there. Maybe he could just locate it and take Alan there. He could wait outside while Alan went in. Right?