Paralyzed

Chapter 18

F or the next couple of hours, Nathan cuddled with Erik while enjoying the movie. Erik had been right. The soundtrack of the movie was fantastic. He was smiling when the credits rolled, and he tilted his head back enough to see Erik. “That was great.”

“I knew you’d like it.” Erik brushed a strand of Nathan’s hair behind his ear. “You know, you’re beautiful when you smile.”

Nathan wrinkled his nose. “I’m not beautiful. Besides, isn’t that a word used to describe women?”

“First, the word beautiful can apply to anything and anyone. Second, you are beautiful. Gorgeous, actually, with your raven’s wing black hair, stunning green eyes, and every tiny little freckle across your nose and cheeks. You steal my breath every single time I see you.”

Nathan sucked in a breath at Erik’s words, his heart beating faster. “I’m not all that,” he whispered.

“Oh, but you are. You just don’t see it, and that is part of what makes you so amazing.”

“But my leg, my scars—” Nathan was cut off by Erik pressing his fingers against his lips.

“Those are nothing except a sign of how strong you are. You battled something so awful and lived to be here today, in my arms.” Erik pressed a kiss to each of Nathan’s cheeks and then the tip of his nose. “I’m so glad you did because I would never have met you, and that would have been a significant loss in my life.”

He opened his mouth to protest again, but Erik stopped him by kissing him. Erik thrust his tongue deep inside Nathan’s mouth, prompting a moan from Nathan as heat shot straight down to his groin. His cock hardened and he wrapped his arms around Erik’s shoulders, holding on tight. He returned the kiss, tentatively swiping his tongue over Erik’s. When Erik growled, a heady sense of power bloomed in Nathan to know he could affect such a sexy and virile man as Erik.

Erik slid a hand under Nathan’s t-shirt and along the skin of his belly. The calloused palm rasped in just the right way, ratcheting Nathan’s desire even higher. He reached down and tugged Erik’s shirt up, wanting to feel the broad, tanned flesh of his body. Their kiss broke long enough for Erik to rip the offending article of clothing over his head, tossing it away carelessly, before yanking Nathan’s off as well. He leaned back in to capture Nathan’s mouth once more. Erik coaxed Nathan to his back, following him down to the soft surface of the couch.

Nathan ran his hands along Erik’s naked back, mapping out the various bumps and curves of his muscles. Erik slotted one knee between Nathan’s legs. He pressed his own hard length along Nathan’s upper thigh, and he gently rutted against Nathan. The movement created sweet friction between them and caused Nathan to gasp. Every fresh sensation made his head spin. He didn’t know which one to concentrate on and enjoy first.

Erik’s five o’clock shadow scraped over Nathan’s lower jaw as he licked, nipped, and kissed his way to Nathan’s throat. This time, he didn’t stop there. He traced the line of Nathan’s collarbone with his tongue and down to the right nipple. Nathan couldn’t stop the cry he let out when he sucked the light brown nub into his mouth. The feel of Erik’s tongue swirling around his nipple set off a throbbing inside of Nathan. Grabbing hold of Erik’s shoulders, Nathan dug his fingers into the hard flesh, trying to hold on in the onslaught of a storm he’d never been in before.

When Erik lightly bit down, Nathan arched his back and whimpered Erik’s name. Erik switched to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment before following the line of his sternum down to his belly button. The sound of his zipper lowering sent a shiver racing down Nathan’s spine, but it was the whisper of Erik’s breath over his heated flesh which caused him to curl his toes. “Er-Erik.”

No other legible words came out because the second Erik’s warm, wet mouth closed over the tip of his cock, Nathan lost all coherent thought. Electricity crackled throughout his body, tingles racing along his nerve endings. But when Erik swallowed his entire shaft, Nathan couldn’t hold back, and he tipped over the edge, coming down Erik’s throat. “Oh God,” he croaked, his hands instinctively gripping Erik’s dark locks.

Embarrassment nipped in right on the heels of his orgasm. Once again, he’d shot off within minutes. Shame flooded him and he released Erik’s hair to cover his face.

“Hey, what’s all this, angel?” Erik murmured near his ear.

He hadn’t even realized Erik had moved over him again. God, he was such a loser. Instead of answering Erik, Nathan just shook his head. Erik gripped his wrist and gently tugged one hand away from his face. “Talk to me, Nate.”

Keeping his eyes closed, Nathan replied in a thin voice, “It was so fast.”

“Open your eyes, angel.” Nathan slowly complied until he could see Erik’s face hovering over his. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about. It felt good, right?”

He nodded.

“Then that’s all that matters.” Erik bent and kissed him again, the salty tang of Nathan’s semen on his lips. The kiss grew heated within seconds and Nathan got hard again. Erik smiled against Nathan’s lips and said, “Best part about being young.”

Nathan didn’t have time to get embarrassed about his words. He became swept up in every brief touch and brush of lips by Erik. By the time Erik stripped away the last of their clothing, Nathan was a quivering, pulsing bundle of lust. His focus centered on nothing except Erik. The way his gaze ate him up was like nothing he’d ever known. Despite Nathan’s flaws and the secrets he still held close to his chest, Erik still wanted him.

Erik reached a hand between the cushions and came out with a small bottle. “I told you I wouldn’t press you for anything you weren’t ready for, Nate. I want you. Every scar, every freckle, every smile, every frown. Everything that makes you who you are.” He paused for a split second, pressing his hand over Nathan’s heart. “Do you need more time?”

Biting his lip, Nathan looked at Erik and shook his head. “I want you, too,” he replied softly.

Tenderness flooded Erik’s features before he popped open the lid of the bottle. He spilled some of the clear liquid onto his fingers, closed the top with a snick, and tossed it onto the couch beside them. Erik lowered himself slightly to kiss Nathan. Nathan tensed a bit when he felt Erik’s fingers beginning to probe at the entrance to his body.

“Relax, angel,” Erik said.

He curled the fingers of one hand into the couch cushion and the other over Erik’s bicep. One of Erik’s fingers breached him, and Nathan tensed again. It was a strange feeling. Erik captured his mouth once more, distracting Nathan enough to where he barely noticed when Erik slipped the second digit inside.

His cock twitched when Erik scissored his fingers, slowly stretching him wider. “Doing okay, Nate?” he asked, never letting up on thrusting and moving his fingers.

Nathan couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. When Erik withdrew from him, Nathan watched him reach for his jeans and take out his wallet. His eyes widened a fraction at the sight of a foil package. It brought home the reality of what was about to happen. His breathing increased as he watched Erik tear open the package, take out the condom, and slide it down the length of his very thick cock.

“Turn over, angel,” Erik said. Surprised, Nathan glanced at him. “It’s easier for your first time.”

“Oh,” Nathan murmured and attempted to turn over, but his knee protested the action and he let out a gasp and straightened out his leg.

Erik gave a mumbled oath behind him. “I’m sorry, Nate. I didn’t think of that.”

Suddenly, Nathan found himself airborne. He squeaked and grabbed hold of Erik. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Moving this to the bedroom.”

“I can walk!” Nathan protested.

Erik ignored his complaints and carried him up the stairs and down the hallway to his room. He placed Nathan on the bed as if he was breakable and then he slid in next to him. Erik tugged Nathan to him with his back to Erik’s chest and began kissing along his neck and shoulder. “I know you can do things for yourself, Nate, but sometimes you don’t have to.”

Nathan reached behind him to grip Erik’s upper thigh. “I’m not comfortable with anyone doing things for me.”

“Oh, I know,” Erik rasped, biting gently on Nathan’s earlobe. “You’re a stubborn man, angel.”

The light nibble caused Nathan’s flagging erection to rise yet again, but he couldn’t stop his body from tensing when Erik’s cock slid through the crease of his ass. Erik placed a hand on Nathan’s shoulder and rolled him onto his stomach, then straddled his legs.

“What are you doing?” Nathan asked, uncertainty clearly echoing in his voice.

Instead of answering him, Erik began running his hands along Nathan’s back, pressing into the tense muscles of his shoulders and down to the swell of his rear end. At first, the massage kind of hurt, but eventually Nathan lost the tension in him, his eyes closing. He couldn’t still the moan he gave when Erik’s fingers curled around his shoulders and his thumbs dug in. The only type of massage he’d ever had was on his legs during physical therapy. It had never felt pleasurable.

Erik bent down and pressed a kiss to the middle of Nathan’s shoulder blades. He did it again and again, only lower and lower each time. When he reached the swell of Nathan’s bottom, the slick glide of Erik’s tongue over the middle of his lower back caused him to shiver. But Erik went farther, and Nathan gasped when Erik spread the cheeks of his ass to lick over the ring of muscles. “Erik!”

He tried to squirm away, embarrassed beyond anything, but Erik hummed and stilled his movements with both hands. Erik flicked his tongue out again and Nathan’s cock jumped. Lust danced over his nerve endings with each swipe. Nothing had ever prepared him for the sensation of someone pleasuring him the way Erik was. Every swipe had his dick leaking profusely.

He almost whined when Erik stopped and settled beside him, one hand rolling Nathan to his side. The warm heat of Erik’s chest met his back. Erik nuzzled at Nathan’s nape for a moment before pulling away from him. Nathan heard a drawer opening and then the snick of a bottle again. Nathan didn’t brace himself from the intrusion of his fingers this time. Erik continued to kiss along Nathan’s shoulder and the side of his neck to distract him. When Erik removed his fingers and replaced them with the head of his cock, Nathan gripped the sheets tightly. “Push out, baby,” Erik said.

Nathan followed his instructions and then Erik breached him. He winced, but Erik held still. He ran his palm over Nathan’s side and around to his belly. “Relax,” he murmured.

Nathan released the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and closed his eyes. Erik pushed a little farther into him and then held still, continuing to stroke and caress him. The pattern repeated itself until Erik’s abdomen pressed against his ass. Nathan had never felt so full before. It was the strangest thing, yet there was pleasure mixed in with the odd feeling.

“You’ve got it all, angel. I’m going to move now.”

Nathan nodded, and Erik retreated a fraction before surging forward again. His breath caught in his throat, and he couldn’t suppress a moan. Erik shifted a bit and this time when he thrust inside him, he hit something which caused stars to explode behind Nathan’s closed eyelids. “Oh God!”

Erik growled near Nathan’s ear, thrusting a little firmer now. “You feel so good, baby.”

A few heartbeats later, Erik went a little faster and harder. His cock nailed that same button over and over. So many feelings raced through Nathan, and he could barely hold on to his sanity in the onslaught of sensations. Nathan heard the sounds he uttered, but he couldn’t have stopped them to save his life. Focused on every movement Erik made, Nathan barely heard the loud cries he emitted with each thrust from Erik. If he hadn’t been so lost in every sensation Erik sent rippling through him, he’d have been mortified.

Erik never stopped touching him—his palms ran over every inch of flesh he could reach, fingers tweaked Nathan’s hard nipples, and a hand stroked Nathan’s stiff length. Every sensation pushed Nathan’s pleasure higher. He didn’t know how he’d survive the differing sensations bombarding him. Nathan stretched one leg outward, opening himself up for Erik’s invasion. Like most teenage boys, Nathan had fantasized about sex before the accident. Nothing in those fantasies had ever prepared him for the onslaught against his senses. Every new experience—every new feeling—rushed Nathan closer toward his orgasm.

“Er-Erik,” Nathan rasped, reaching his hand back to grip Erik’s rock-hard thigh.

Never changing the motion, angle, or intensity of his thrusts, Erik coaxed him closer to the peak. He nipped at Nathan’s earlobe, then soothed it with his tongue. Nathan dug his fingernails into Erik’s skin, trying to hold on in the storm.

“Come, angel. Come for me,” Erik growled, his voice hoarse.

If you could climax just from someone’s voice, Nathan knew it would be Erik’s. He arched his back slightly, issuing a keening cry as hard spurts of seed escaped him, coating the comforter in front of him, some splashing over his abdomen. Erik gave several more thrusts before falling over the edge with him. The hard pulses of Erik’s cock inside of him sent rippling darts of pleasure along Nathan’s spine. Sweat coated their bodies from head to toe. Nathan could smell the tangy scent of his release and the salty essence of their sweat, which increased the haze blanketing his mind.

Nathan lay panting and dazed, too out of it to move. Erik slipped free of his body and Nathan felt the bed shift when he stood up. He heard the soft patter of Erik’s bare feet on the floor and then the sound of water turning on. A moment later, the bed dipped, and Nathan hissed when Erik slid a cool washcloth over his abdomen, clearly wiping up the semen streaking his front. Erik cleaned off the comforter, stood again, and took the cloth back into the bathroom. Then he climbed into bed next to Nathan again, looping an arm over his waist. The sweat on his body cooled, and a shiver went through him.

“Cold?” Erik asked, nuzzling at his neck.

“No,” he replied.

“Did I hurt you?” He could hear the concern in Erik’s voice.

“Not at all,” Nathan murmured.

He sensed Erik smiling. “Does the silence mean I rocked your world?”

Nathan couldn’t stop the chuckle he let forth. “You could say that.”

Erik hummed and kissed Nathan’s cheek. “As much as I would love to be selfish right now and use my ability to rock your world to get you to stay, I think it’s time I got you home to study. I’ve taken up more than a couple of hours tonight.”

The reminder made Nathan grimace. He really needed to spend more time studying, despite how much he’d love to remain wrapped in Erik’s arms. “Yeah,” he breathed.

Erik tightened his arms for a brief second and then he rolled away from Nathan to stand. “I’ll go downstairs and get your clothes.”

Without a single sign of hesitation, Erik strolled naked out of the room, Nathan watching him every step of the way. Nathan sat up, wincing slightly at the protest of his bottom, and pulled the blanket across his lap. He ran his fingers through his hair to straighten what he figured had to be a mess after everything. A small smile slid across his lips as he thought about the last hour with Erik. Nothing he’d ever imagined could have prepared him for what it would feel like to be made love to so passionately. Uncertainty swirled in to make him wonder if Erik had enjoyed himself, too, especially since he had pretty much done everything.

Before his self-consciousness could get to him, Erik walked back into the room and put Nathan’s clothes on the edge of the bed. He had dressed already in the clothes he’d discarded on the couch earlier.

“I’ll be downstairs,” Erik said, and then he left the room again.

Nathan dressed and went into the bathroom to wash up. He stared at himself in the mirror while soaping his hands. The haunted look he lived with had faded, and he almost didn’t recognize himself. The usual dark circles were gone, too. Of course, that realization brought guilt in on its heels. He glanced away from the mirror while he finished rinsing the soap, shut off the water, and headed downstairs.

Erik was waiting for him in the living room, watching out of the window. He turned and smiled at Nathan. “Ready?”

Nathan nodded and followed Erik out of the house. Within minutes, they were on the road. Erik immediately took Nathan’s hand in his, resting his arm on the center console. “Everything all right?” Erik asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Nathan replied.

He could tell his answer didn’t satisfy Erik, but he didn’t press, just squeezed his fingers gently. They talked very little on the way, and Nathan remained lost in his thoughts. There were so many things he needed to sort through. Finding Alan was top of the list. Nathan would get to meet Erik’s co-workers at the picnic, so maybe he could eliminate them. Then he wondered if Troy had gotten any information about the three classmates of Alan yet. Probably not if he had to wait until tomorrow to talk to his friend in the main office.

Too soon, Nathan found them parked in front of his building. He opened his door, but Erik tugged on his hand. “Can I have a kiss before you go?”

Nathan flushed but moved closer. Erik cupped his cheek and covered Nathan’s lips with his. The kiss was sweet and slow. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Erik asked, his voice tender, his thumb trailing over Nathan’s cheekbone.

“Yeah,” Nathan said.

“I’ll come by your job with something to eat.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

Erik gave him a patient look. “I want to.”

“Okay.” Nathan capitulated easily. Butterflies tickled his stomach, and he couldn’t hide his smile.

“There’s that gorgeous smile,” Erik said, pressing another quick kiss to the corner of Nathan’s mouth. “Now, go on. Before I change my mind and drive us back to my place.”

Nathan climbed out of the truck and closed the door. He felt Erik’s gaze on him the entire way to his apartment, and he didn’t hear him pull away until he’d unlocked and opened his door.

The moment he entered his apartment, he called Alan’s name. “Please, Alan. Come out. I need to talk to you.”

Silence met his plea. “Whether or not you’re with me on this, Alan, I’m going to find out what happened.”

Nathan sighed and went over to the couch to take his homework and textbook out of his bag. He spent the next several hours poring over everything his classes had gone over in the last few months. By the time he sat back, his eyes felt gritty, and they were drooping with exhaustion. It had been a while since he’d done an all-night cram session. The clock on the microwave showed it was almost three in the morning. He rubbed his eyes with his pointer finger and thumb, trying to relieve the tiredness.

A strange sound caused him to drop his hand and open his eyes. He almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Alan standing near the open door to his bedroom. “Jesus, Alan!”

Alan had the grace to look chagrined at having scared Nathan. “Sorry.”

“Where’d you go?”

Alan shrugged and floated a little closer, stopping a few feet from Nathan. “I’ve caused you enough trouble. I shouldn’t even be here.”

“Then why are you?” Nathan asked, wondering why Alan had shown himself now.

Sighing, Alan moved over to stare out the window. “I heard you. I can’t let you do this alone. If someone really intended on killing me, I can at least have your back and help if I can. I don’t want them to come after you.”

Nathan eyed Alan for a few seconds of silence and then launched into what he and Troy had found earlier. He also explained what they were going to do. Alan turned to look at him, hope once again shining on his face. “Do you think you’ll find them?”

“We’re going to try. Do any of the names strike any kind of emotion at all?”

Alan shook his head. “No. I mean, yeah, I remember them. Especially Erik’s cousin Matthew. But none of the names remind me of anything.”

Nathan grunted. “I’ll be able to meet Matthew and the others. Erik’s company is having a picnic, and he’s asked me to go.”

A fond smile overtook Alan’s features. “The annual picnic was so much fun. The food is always great. Erik hires the best caterers. Every year he brings in something for the kids. One year he brought in ponies for them to ride.” Sadness chased away the fond look. “I’m going to miss them.”

“I’m sorry, Alan,” Nathan murmured. “I really am.”

Alan waved away Nathan’s apology. “It’s not your fault, Nathan. You weren’t the one who ended my life.”

“Tomorrow Troy is going to investigate the classmates we saw mentioned in your blog posts. I’ll be taking Erik’s employees you mentioned and learning what I can at the picnic.”

Alan winced. “Just be careful. You don’t want to risk tipping off whoever did this.”

“The likelihood they’re going to connect you and me is very slim, Alan. How can they possibly think I would know anything? You’ve been gone two years and Erik doesn’t know, so how could I even have any clue?”

“I guess you’re right. But I can’t help except to worry. I’ll be there on Sunday. Maybe seeing them will help jar something loose.”

“Just try not to distract me. Remember, people can’t see you. If they catch me talking to thin air, they’re going to think I’m mad.” Nathan stood and stretched, groaning as his back protested the hours spent over his books and notes. “For now, I’m going to get a few hours of sleep.”

He walked toward his bedroom, only to stop when Alan called his name. Looking back, he saw Alan staring at him with a weird expression. “What’s up?”

Alan floated closer. “Something’s different. You seem… happier.”

Nathan flinched. Guilt stabbed in again. Guilt at being happy when his parents no longer could be and at knowing he’d slept with Alan’s fiancé. But Alan surprised him. “You deserve it, Nate. I know I haven’t been the easiest to deal with, but you have so much weight on your shoulders. You carry more than any one person ever should on their own. I’m glad Erik found you. You make him happy, and I’m grateful he isn’t alone anymore.”

Nathan’s only reaction was a slight intake of breath, and he murmured Alan’s name. Alan gave him a slight smile before dissipating. He didn’t know how to take Alan’s acceptance of the relationship he and Erik appeared to be building. Honestly, he should run as fast and as far from Erik as he could. He already knew he was being selfish. Dragging Erik into his nightmare of a life without warning him was even more selfish than throwing a tantrum to get his parents to leave the party that night six years ago. After he helped Alan, he would tell Erik the truth. Everything.