Chapter 18
The theme for this year’s Valentine’s Dance is “Black and White Ball.” The tickets have strict instructions about what colors we’re allowed to wear (black, white, and red) and how if we wear anything else, we’ll be turned away at the door.
My dress is black and goes to my knees. There’s a band just above my waist and a bow on my right side. I’ve got my favorite red high heels to wear and Tucker will be in all black with a red tie.
I relax onto Grace’s mini sofa as Nathan does my makeup. I’m grateful for an excuse to keep my eyes closed, even if only for a few minutes. I’m still tired from my surgery and tonight is going to be a long one, but everyone has promised to keep an eye on me, and I’ve promised to take it easy.
Yesterday, Doctor Barker checked my scar and said that I was healing nicely, but that didn’t mean I could return to all my normal activities, especially other activities. I am grateful she said I could go to the dance.
“Okay, who do you think is going to be crowned in the Rose Court this year?” Grace asks and I open one eye to look at her.
Each year, at the Valentine’s Dance, six couples are crowned to the Rose Court.
They get crowns and flowers, so it’s basically just another excuse to crown someone like a prom queen, only this time, we have no say in who gets picked.
Teachers and staff randomly (or maybe not so randomly?) pick people who are at the dance.
But seeing as we’ve never been, we’re still unsure of how it works.
“Close please,” Nathan commands and I snap my eye shut, but not before I see Grace standing in front of the mirror in her shiny white dress. Our dresses are essentially the same, except for the color. She still hasn’t told me who she’s going to the dance with though.
“It’s definitely going to be Serena. Or maybe Victoria,” Nathan says as he uses a brush against my eyelid.
“My vote is Libby,” I say. “But it’s not like we have a say in it.”
“Ooo, she’s a worthy contender,” Nathan says and I almost laugh. “You are right though, we have no say, but it is always the popular people who get picked.”
Grace is friends with a lot of the popular crowd, but she’s not exactly in it.
She doesn’t mind though, because she has always been her own person, ready and willing to do her own thing.
I always had ballet and was completely fine with my circle of friends including Nathan, Garce, and eventually Tucker.
Nathan might care about all of this more than we do, but only because Emmett could also be picked for the court.
They may have broken up, but there’s no way Nathan’s over him yet.
“I would vote for Libby,” Grace says. “She’s nicer than Serena and Victoria.”
“That’s true,” Nathan and I say at the same time.
“But she’s dating Shawn, are you okay with that?” Grace asks with a strange lilt in her voice. We never really talked about my breakup with Shawn, because it was over so abruptly and then I was with Tucker almost immediately after.
“Why would you even ask that?” I ask. “I don’t care at all.”
“Just checking.” Grace lifts her shoulder and then looks back to the mirror to finish her makeup.
“Why? I’m dating Tucker.” Sometimes her logic and questions and ideas about how you should feel about relationships, even after they’ve ended, confuse me.
“Done,” Nathan tells me, stopping Grace from whatever she was about to say.
I open my eyes and look in the mirror in his hands.
My makeup is what he would call understated, but it’s me.
I love looking at all the people, including him, who go all out with their makeup, but when I do that, I just don’t feel like myself.
I like a little glam and sparkle, but not a ton.
He used silver, white, and a light shade of red on my eyes.
I give him a hug. “Thank you!”
“Of course.” Nathan squeezes me back and announces it’s time for both of us to get dressed.
“There’s something you should know,” Grace tells me as she hands me my dress bag.
“What?”
She holds up her free hand that is covered in glitter. “The fabric of the dress is glittery, right… well, it… kind of gets everywhere.”
“Oh my gosh,” I say, but then I just start laughing, because of course our dresses would shed glitter. “Tucker might kill us, but I don’t mind.”
Her eyes go wide. “Crap, I didn’t even think about his truck. I mean, I noticed the glitter when I was making the dress, but I assumed it was just because I was moving the fabric around so much.”
“But it just gets everywhere?” I’m still laughing.
“It just gets everywhere,” Nathan confirms, careful not to touch any part of Grace’s dress as he moves around us to grab his own tux. “I’m getting dressed downstairs. I love glitter, but not on me tonight.”
Grace starts to say something, but Nathan shoots her a glance and I look back and forth between them, trying to figure out what I’m missing.
“I’m gonna get ready,” he says, and then he’s out the door.
Grace and I come down the stairs together, possibly leaving a trail of glitter behind. Mom cries as she takes our pictures and Tucker waits patiently for our moms to stop dotting on us.
“You look amazing,” he whispers in my ear as we smile for another picture.
“Thank you,” I whisper back. “You do, too. You also might be covered in glitter by the end of this.” I show him my hands. The glitter seems to be sticking to my arms and fingers more than anything else, but it’s also all over Grace’s bed where I sat down to put my shoes on.
“Oh boy,” he grimaces.
“It wouldn’t be a Grace Yang creation without something like this,” I say and we both smile.
Mom and Erin both take more pictures, telling us that the ones they take at the dance are always so forced and awkward, and at home they’re more relaxed. We even head out to the backyard and get some with the ocean behind us, just before the sun sinks too low, making us all shadows in the pictures.
Then, when we’re about ready to leave, Grace and Nathan start taking pictures together. Like a couple.
“What’s happening right now?” I ask. Maybe they just didn’t want to deal with finding another date, so they decided to go together?
Grace blushes as she looks up at Nathan, and he gives her a hand a squeeze. They stare at each other for a moment before Nathan looks at me. “We’re dating.”
“But,” I sputter…he’s gay, isn’t he?
He must see my wheels spinning. “Bi, actually.” Nathan clears his throat. “Not that I really love labels. ”
“Right, no, sorry,” I stammer. “You’ve just only dated guys. Well, one guy, Emmett. I thought…” I swallow back the hurt as I trail off; my own twin didn’t even tell me he was dating my best friend. And she didn’t say anything, either.
Mom and Erin move out of the room, like this isn’t news to them. I face Tucker. “Did you know?” I whisper.
He gives me the tiniest of nods. “Not that they’re dating. I knew they were going to the dance together.”
Well, I guess I wasn’t the only one completely out of the loop.
I hug Grace. “You should have told me.”
She hugs me back, tightly. “Sometimes, it’s just easier to keep secrets.”
I catch Nathan’s eye over her shoulder and he shakes his head. I hope that means he hasn’t told her my secret. While dating my brother and having cancer are two completely different things, I still wish she would have told me.
“I get that,” I say instead. I should tell them the truth.
“Should we go?” Tucker asks, ending the moment.
I hold out my hand and give him my best grin, and he gives me one, too.
It’s time to go.
Tucker helps me into his truck, which feels surprisingly tall now that I’m in a long dress and heels I know I’ll regret later. Grace and Nathan follow behind in Nathan’s car.
We stop at a food truck and get some street tacos.
It’s almost time for the dance, but this is how we planned it.
A quick dinner so we could enjoy the dance as much as possible, since none of us really know how long I’ll last. I know it’s something we’re all thinking about, but I’m thankful that Tucker and my friends are pretending that everything is normal and that I didn’t just have surgery last week.
I’m eating street tacos at a little table in front of the food truck, napkins spread out over my dress.
It all feels so normal. It feels good to be normal.
I really want to corner Nathan and ask him when he and Grace started dating, when he realized he was bi.
If that’s something new or if he’s always been attracted to girls, too.
“What are you so smiley about?” Grace bumps Tucker’s shoulder, bringing my thoughts back to the table. He’s got a soft grin on his face.
“I just get to spend the night with my girl.” He winks at me as he says it and I know my cheeks go a little pink. “Why wouldn’t I be smiling?” He asks and I smile back at him.
“You are pathetic,” Grace laughs and when we stand to leave, the right side of his shirt is completely covered in glitter.
“These dang dresses.” He tries to brush some of the glitter from his shirt, but he only seems to be spreading it.
“I swear I didn’t realize they were going to be like this. So much glitter came off while I was making them, it’s a wonder that there’s any left on them at all.” Grace gives an apologetic look.
“Well, there is, and it’s all over me,” he says, but he still reaches for my hand and pulls me in closer.
“Glitter never stops spreading. There’s always more than you think,” I say, resting my head on his shoulder. Tucker tugs on my hand.
“Glitter is weird,” he replies. “Let’s get you to the dance.”