Chapter 9
I’m no closer to finding an apartment. Are they incredibly expensive on purpose? Alyssa offered again for me to stay, but I need my own space.
Something I vowed to myself after my divorce was the promise of being selfish.
In the right way, of course—doing what I felt was best for me, speaking my truth and removing myself from people or places that no longer felt right.
And that’s exactly what I’m choosing to do here.
I’m so appreciative of Alyssa helping me a few months ago, but I need to find my own place anyway, and this kind of pushes me to do it sooner.
But at this moment, all of my energy is going into this coffee with Liam. I’ve been thinking about it since I woke up this morning.
And not in the obsessive kind of way people might assume if I said this out loud.
More so, why did I agree to go get coffee with him?
I have nothing against Liam. But hanging out with him one-on-one could very easily give him, and anyone who happens to see, the wrong impression.
The last thing I ever want is someone to assume I didn’t earn my spot in my career.
But I overthink normal everyday interactions, so I shouldn’t be surprised I’m nearly spiraling over coffee with the quarterback.
But it’s just that. It’s coffee. And we’re just friends.
So that’s why I’m sitting at Sips Coffee House, at a table in the corner with a baseball hat tipped down over my face.
“Excuse me.” A shaky teenage voice grabs my attention, and I glance up to see a barista holding a cup of coffee in front of me. He looks genuinely nervous as he places it down on the table. “This is, uh, from Liam Evans.” He looks behind him and then back to me as he swallows and steps back.
I tilt my head and see Liam near the counter.
Leaning against it with a sly grin spread across his face.
His tanned biceps on display as they cross his chest and the light gray shirt hugging every ridge of his shoulders.
The perfectly messy, but not so messy, look to his hair paired with black denim jeans.
He may as well be holding a sign that says Look at me, I’m very attractive.
He isn’t trying to hide being here one bit.
Living up to his love for attention in all areas of his life apparently.
“Sending me coffee?” I slide the cup closer to me as he takes a seat across from me.
“What’s with the hat? Afraid to be seen with me?” The left side of his mouth tilts into a grin. He doesn’t acknowledge my question, and I don’t follow up.
I take a slow sip of the drink, letting its warmth coat my throat and exhale a deep breath.
“I’ve had enough gossip around my name to last a lifetime. So, yes, I’d really rather not be seen right now.” I sigh. “Although, I did agree to meet you, so what does that say about my decision-making skills?” My eyes widen at my own statement. I’m talking to myself at this point.
A throaty chuckle bellows out of his chest and he takes a sip of his coffee before rubbing the back of his neck.
“I think your decision-making skills are impeccable.”
“That’s debatable.” I laugh to myself, shaking my head back and forth.
“Why do you say that?” He leans in closer, as if he’s genuinely curious.
“Forget I said it. I’m still just looking for an apartment and feeling stressed out over it, I think.”
Liam’s eyes shift down, looking at the table and then back up to me.
“Can I offer a genuine suggestion?”
“You can…” I hesitate in my response, but he’s probably going to offer it regardless.
He lightly laughs.
“The apartment next to mine is empty.”
I cough out a laugh, drawing a couple head turns in our direction. I wait for him to make a comment, something sarcastic or witty at my outburst, but nothing comes. Is he actually serious? He thinks I should move into his building? Be his neighbor? I pull my lips together to avoid another laugh.
“You’re…serious?”
“I said I had a genuine suggestion, yes.”
I don’t even know where he lives, but I already feel like it’s a bad idea.
“It’s downtown. Not far from the stadium. There’s a dog park, a gym, a doorman, and the floor I’m on has a private elevator. There are only four apartments on the floor, so not a lot of foot traffic. You’d be high up and safe.”
I don’t know why the mention of the word safe makes me feel so calm. It’s almost like Liam somehow knows the chaos and recklessness I’ve dealt with and how all I want in this next chapter of my life is to feel at peace.
“Well, I appreciate it. But I don’t know if I can swing living on the same private floor as the NFL’s hotshot quarterback”
“Think about it.” He shrugs, offering up one of his postcard smiles. “Is your coffee okay?”
I nod, thankful for the subject change as I take another sip. “It’s perfect, thank you.”
“I have a Demi-graphic memory.” He smiles with pride as he sits back in the chair.
I watch as people stare at him when they walk in and there are two men standing in line who look like they could freak out like twelve-year-old girls at any moment.
“A what?” I scoff with a laugh.
“Once I learn something about you, it’s here forever.” He taps his temple with two fingers before he finally notices the guys in line gawking at him.
He doesn’t get up, but he nods in their direction, and that seems to be enough for the men to be satisfied.
“So you have a photographic memory? Makes sense, you study plays and stuff like that all the time.”
“No.” He laughs. “I don’t have a photographic memory. My memory as a whole probably isn’t the best. But I’m good at remembering things I care about.” He pauses. “I’m good at remembering things about you.”
I stare at him blankly, my mouth slightly open as he takes another sip from his drink and smiles at me again. He’s so honest. And it’s easy to let his charms chip away at my defenses.
But it’s also hard to look at Liam and truly see beyond his flirtatious personality. If I ever gave in to his very obvious crush, would all the kindness fade out? Not that I ever plan to cross that line with him, but his charms would leave any girl guessing if it’s sincere or just a tactic.
“You look pretty today.”
Another compliment catches me off guard, and I quietly clear my throat.
“Is it the matted hair under a baseball hat? Or the oversized T-shirt and jeans that give that impression?” I chuckle.
I’m not used to all the compliments Liam slings my way, and while they’re very kind, I feel like I don’t know how to receive them and it makes me say stupid shit like that.
He shakes his head and leans forward—he’s practically halfway across the table at this point. Both elbows resting on the surface.
“It’s this,” he says in a smooth voice as he slowly reaches across the space between us and tucks a tiny piece of stray hair under my hat.
“These too.” He points to the dimples on my cheeks, darting his tongue between his lips.
“And I like those. A lot.” He emphasizes as he points to his eyes and then back to mine, and my stomach drops.
Liam lets out a low sound of amusement as he notices me inhaling.
“Well…” I collect myself. “That’s very forward of you.” My shoulders straighten and I stare at the corner of his mouth as it tilts up.
“Just telling the truth.”
My indecisiveness can’t determine if I want to let this play out or thank him for the drink and leave.
I run my index finger along the inside of my thumb as I weigh the options.
All the while, Liam’s sitting across from me, leaning back in the too small chair as his hand works its way over his jaw.
He’s just staring at me and looking far too handsome for someone who had a grueling football practice less than an hour ago.
He looks so comfortable. And not that I’m necessarily uncomfortable, I guess.
I sigh, confusion swirling in my mind. Where’s the flashy guy with women on rotation?
That’s who he’s supposed to be, right? I’ve seen him at events and parties—he’s a joker, the life of the party, but every time I’m alone with him, he’s so settled and secure.
It makes being annoyed with him incredibly difficult.
Before I can actually make a decision myself about leaving, he scoots himself closer into the edge of the table.
“Please don’t leave.” His mossy eyes focus on mine, a plea, almost. “I know that’s what you’re thinking.”
“No, it isn’t,” I rush out. I’m a terrible liar, my facial expressions screw me every single time.
Both of his eyebrows arch as he dips his head.
“You’re a really bad liar, Dem.”
I gently pull myself back in my chair, letting out a sigh as I do.
“How was practice?” I finally ask after a moment of contemplation.
“I don’t want to talk about work.”
“Well then, what should we talk about?”
The contemporary music in this coffee shop is playing at a soft, low volume as the song changes, and I feel a shift in the entire atmosphere.
There is greenery that hangs on the brick wall beside us in this back corner and a sign behind Liam that reads Sip & Yap.
It’s cute. I could sit here all day and inhale the smell of coffee beans and pastries.
No one is in line at the counter anymore.
There are only two other people in this entire little place on the opposite side of the cafe, and I see one barista cleaning some of the coffee appliances behind the counter.
Their mid-afternoon rush seems to have slowed and it’s that time of the day where people are thinking about switching to a cocktail, not grabbing a latte.
“Anything else,” he says. “Tell me something new with you.”
“Fine. There’s a prime-time reporter slot opening up next season—no one is leaving, they’re just adding one more to the crew—and I want it.
” I haven’t actually said that out loud to anyone other than my boss, yet I just said it to Liam with so much joy in my chest it has me pulling back briefly in shock at how easily that news left my lips.
“You’ll get it.” He nods, no sarcasm in his words. “I believe in you.”
A phrase no man has ever said to me, and it makes my stomach drop.
My index finger picks at the nail polish on my thumb as I stare at him.
His lips lift into a smile as he brings his cup to his lips.
“You found a loophole into talking about work. Smart.” He takes a sip and then clears his throat, placing the cup on the table.
“You know I’d listen to you talk about anything. ”
“It’s probably best to stick to work topics.”
“Seriously?”
“Liam, aside from work there isn’t anything for us to talk about.”
His head shakes back and forth. “That’s not true. There are a million things to talk about.”
My shoulders slouch slightly as I watch his Adam’s apple bob through the words and I’m staring too intently, I can feel it.
“Tell me about the last book you read.” The corner of his mouth lifting.
“Do you read?”
“No, but I’ve seen you on the sidelines a time or two with a book sticking out of your bag.”
“Observant.” I drag my gaze to his before taking another sip of coffee. “Sometimes they have dragons, sometimes they’re like reading a rom-com movie, it just depends on my mood.” I shrug, thinking to myself how odd it is having him ask me that. No one has ever asked about the books I read.
“Would I like them?”
I draw circles on the table between us, sighing. “I don’t know. Are you into dragons or rom-coms?”
“What would you classify Grey’s Anatomy as?”
“An emotional roller coaster medical drama where everyone you love leaves or dies. Oh, with a very well curated playlist and highly attractive people.”
Liam’s mouth opens and a loud laugh follows. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he admits, palm clenching his chest. “That’s pretty damn spot on.”
He smiles again and it’s a nice smile. One that feels like it should be contagious, but I’m too in my own head right now to mirror him, so I simply nod and use my coffee as a buffer and take a sip.
“Can I ask you something? I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because I don’t want to invade your private life, but I’ve known you a while and…” He trails off.
My eyes narrow suspiciously, but I find it endearing that Liam always tries to be as respectful as possible.
“Suuuuure.” The word drags.
“Are you happy?” Well, there was no beating around the bush there.
“I know you’ve gone through a lot of shit recently, and while I don’t know or need to know specifics, I just want to make sure you’re okay.
You lied the other morning when you said you were fine.
I could tell, but it’s okay. I figure there are a lot of things you’re still working through and processing, and maybe you still have bad days…
but…” He sighs, and I can’t help but just sit back and stare.
It’s such a loaded question to ask someone if they’re happy.
It could go so many different ways, even backfire, but I feel my shield lower the tiniest bit at his question because no one ever asks if I’m happy.
It’s a question that catches me off guard, but maybe it’s one I need to be asked every now and then to let myself say it out loud.
Despite the hard days, I am happy.
“I guess I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“We all have bad days,” I say in nearly a whisper. “But a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.”
He nods as he takes a sip of his drink, his eyes focused on mine.
“So, yes, I’m happy.”
I feel warmth run through me. So much comfort and safety that it almost feels wrong. I haven’t felt this way in god knows how long.
“That’s all I need to know.”
I appreciate Liam’s tenderness. It’s a different side to him than I normally see.
He’s typically full of sarcasm and wit, a true goofball in every sense of the meaning.
But lately, I’ve been seeing his more mature side, the one I’ve only heard about through his friends and teammates, and I’m not quite sure what to think of it yet.