Chapter 46
Liam’s off today. And as soon as I get home, I need to see him. I’ve had enough space, enough time to think, overthink, then rethink. If I don’t just fucking tell him everything I’m feeling and everything I want, I might explode.
“Thanks for last night,” I say to Summer as we’re walking down Mia’s ridiculously long driveway toward our cars.
“Of course.” She smiles. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a little hot and cold with you. I guess I just know what it feels like to be in his shoes a little. Watching someone from a distance and wanting them to notice you.” She shrugs. “He might be a little over the top sometimes, but his heart is pure.”
I smile back at her.
“I like you Demi. And I think you two could be great together. He’s different from your initial impression, isn’t he?” she asks, pulling her car door open but she stands between the car and open door.
“He is.” I nod. “He’s nothing like I thought. I imagined he was as reckless as the media made him out to be, especially with women. Everything always just pointed to that.”
“I know,” she says, her head softly shaking back and forth with a laugh.
“I thought the same thing when we first met. But it’s an act.
Or at least partially an act. Mostly a survival technique, I think.
He’s a naturally happy person who was never allowed to show anything but that growing up.
” She shakes her head. “His dad’s a dick. ”
Understatement. I think of his father. How hard he was on him as a kid and how that made Liam feel as an adult. Acting happy all the time, masking the ways he’s felt hurt with jokes and a flashy social life.
“Anyway, you’re good for him. And I think he’s good for you too. He needs to be reminded that you’re allowed to have bad days. And I think you need the reminder that there are good ones.”
She smiles at me, taking a seat in her car and pulls the door shut.
Being welcomed into this little close-knit family of theirs means something to me.
Everyone talks about the closeness of teammates, the dependability, the tough love, the overall connection.
But the women who support these men also have their own bond.
A strong one, a fierce loyalty to the families they go on this journey with.
It’s not easy being the spouse of a professional athlete. Hell, I know after being married to Brandon how difficult it can be.
I haven’t felt this kind of closeness since I met Bri. And it’s all I can think about on the drive back home.
Everyone in this friend group has their role, and they know it so well. Like a rehearsed play, but it’s really just their life and how they live it.
Mia is everyone’s little piece of comfort. She’s sharp when she needs to be, but overall she’s soft-spoken and supportive no matter what.
Abby reminds me of Bri in ways that send me back to our moments together. The way she works to understand everyone’s point of view. She makes everyone around her feel important and valued.
And Summer. She’s lightning in a bottle. If looks could kill, she’d have a body count. I admire how graceful she is in her strength. She’s feminine and soft, but stands up, no questions asked, for those she loves.
I see why Liam loves them. I see why they’re so special to him. They’re like the sisters he never had, and hearing how they speak about him only makes my admiration for them grow.
There’s a text from Mia as I’m pulling into the parking garage. A reminder about Friendsgiving. I just hope Liam still wants me to come with him.
I quickly walk into the lobby, waving at Rob as I walk by in a hurry.
I probably look like a crazy person right now, fuzzy socks with a pair of sneakers, leggings, and an old band shirt from at least ten years ago.
But I don’t care as I rush through to the double doors, entering my code and heading toward the elevators.
The thought of texting Liam crossed my mind, but I ended up deciding against it. Showing up at his door feels better. I know he got in late last night with how the away game travel works, but he’s naturally an early riser. It’s just past ten so he should definitely be awake.
Swinging my door open, I drop my bag on the floor and head right back out the door to his apartment.
When I raise my hand to knock, I stop myself briefly. Giving my mind just a moment to relax. My body takes a moment to calm down and my heart seconds to stop racing.
My knuckles tap on the door as I stand just outside, arms hugging my body. I shift on my feet, feeling anxious and excited at the same time. I knock again, a little louder this time.
What the hell?
At this point, I may as well text him to make sure he’s home and not out somewhere. There’s no chance he went anywhere last night when he got home and stayed out. I don’t even let the thought linger.
I give it a couple of moments, but there’s no reply. And no answer at the door. But I refuse to lose this burst of energy I have. This adrenaline. The need to see him.
I contemplate texting Summer, but before I resort to that I sift through our moments together. He’s not home. But he’s not at the facility.
The roof.
I spin on my heel, forcing one foot in front of the other as I make my way down the hall and toward the stairwell to get to the roof. I feel like I’m in a romantic comedy—rushing like a mad woman to get to the man she loves so she can tell him.
I take the steps two at a time, feeling like I definitely should start taking spin classes as my thighs burn after two flights, and I see sunlight coming from the small window of the door that opens up to the roof.
Without hesitating, my hand latches onto the lever and I swing the door open, crashing through it like I’m on fire.
And he’s there.
Perfectly. Wholly. There.
“Dem,” he says, a low rasp in his voice when he turns to face me. “What are you doing up here?” He takes a few steps closer, giving me a soft smile as he does.
I exhale a deep breath as I smile. “I was in the neighborhood.”
He chuckles. A hearty sound coming from his chest as he stands just feet away from me.
His beautiful hazel eyes admiring mine. A look I’ve seen on his face for years, but never gave a second thought to, is now the one look I long for.
The way he sees me, wants me, craves me, is magnetic.
I’m so drawn to him. So in love with him I can’t see straight.
“I texted you,” I say.
“Ah, sorry, my phone is on the charger. I just came up here to…sit.” He shrugs, and I take a step forward.
“You love me,” I say, sounding almost like a confirmation.
He runs a hand through his hair, pulling gently at the tips before he places his hands back in his pockets. The light gray T-shirt showing off every muscle on his chest and arms, dangerously close to distracting me.
He nods. “I do.” His hand reaches for mine and I let him take it. “Yesterday, today, tomorrow. Forever, Dem. Even if you never love me a day in your life, I love you.”
I feel his thumb caress the back of my hand, and I blink up at him.
“And if I do?”
There’s a glimmer in his eye as he tilts his head. “If you what?” He inches closer, our bodies now touching and I could sink into the heat coming off him.
“What if I love you?” I whisper. “What if I can’t stop thinking about all the ways you’ve loved me from a distance for years?
What if when I can’t sleep at night all I’m thinking about is you and the way you look at me?
” My inhale is shaky as I look down, but I feel his hand on my chin, tipping it up.
“What if I’m so madly in love with you that it makes me question everything? Makes me want to risk everything?”
“Dem,” he says on an exhale.
His lips are on mine without a second thought, and I melt into his body against mine.
This. This. This.
It’s where I belong. He’s where I belong.
I knew it long before I wanted to admit it. My body tried to tell me, my nervous system kept finding solace in him. And I kept blowing past it. But no more. I’ve never felt more valued than I do when I’m standing next to Liam.
Liam’s hand grips my jaw, the kiss breathing life into me, and I feel my chest weaken. He pulls away slowly, his hand tracing down my neck as he does, holding it in place over my erratically beating heart.
“I know I love you.” I lean my forehead against his chest, his hand sliding around my shoulders to pull me into him.
“I didn’t have anyone. And then…suddenly, there was you.
And your friends. And this beautiful group of people around me.
I-I think I forgot what it was like to have a person.
Someone who wants to hear about my day because they genuinely care.
Someone to run to, someone I can tell anything to.
” I sigh, and I feel his fingers making circles on my back.
“I’d gone so long without it that it took me a while to realize it was you.
You became all those things. Even when I was sure I didn’t want to let anyone in, I always felt safe telling you anything. ”
“Dem, I will always be a safe space for you. Always. You broke through walls I had up too, and I’m so goddamn glad you did. I will always be in your corner. However you need me to be.”
I nod against his chest. Because I believe him. And believing someone, trusting someone again isn’t something I thought I’d be capable of for a long time. I was stuck after my divorce. Trapped in a bottle of jaded misery, and Liam was the piece that helped to wedge me out of it.
I think I’ll always be grateful for him. He showed me a side of life that doesn’t require too much thought. In a lot of ways, he taught me how to simply be. Be present. Say what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling.
There are a lot of things we need to figure out. A lot of moving parts involving our jobs that won’t be easy to manage. But I don’t want to be the bitter woman who holds one terrible relationship against every other man she meets. I don’t want to push away the people who care.
I love what I do. I’m good at it, but I know that even if I had to leave where I’m at tomorrow, my time in this field wouldn’t be over.
Entering the world as a divorced thirty-five-year-old came with a lot of mixed emotions. I went through hell. But I needed that rain. That storm in my personal life to realize how badly I needed the sun.
How badly I needed Liam.