23. Chapter 23
Gunnar
Gods, I feel as if I’ll be sick.
In the gathering darkness, the barn’s lights shine bright through the windows. Almost there. Loki had better not be in control of my fate tonight. The last thing I want is to make myself look foolish, or to embarrass Arlo, or—
“Gods’ sakes, dear! Relax!” Aunt Helga squeezes my arm. “It can’t be healthy for a heart to race as fast as yours.”
I sigh, worrying my lower lip. “I’m fine. Just nervous, I suppose.”
“Whatever for? That young man is so in love with you, I can almost smell it. He will not run from you.”
“I know.” And I do. I trust Lo with my heart and soul. “But what if I trip? Or forget my vows?”
She laughs softly. “No one will remember. All that matters is celebrating your love for each other.” A smile spreads wide over her cheeks, and her eyes moisten at the corners. “I’d so hoped I would live to see you find love again, Gunnar.”
A lump thickens in my throat. It still feels like yesterday that I was married to Leif. It had been snowing, and thick flakes had gathered in his hair and short beard. I’d been nervous, but the moment he saw me and his face lit up, nothing else mattered. Only him.
“I’m so proud of you, lad.”
The barn blurs. I duck my head. “Aye?”
“Of course.” She stops and turns me toward her. Her hands are warm where they squeeze my arms. “Not many would have been able to open their hearts again, not after what you went through. But I knew you would.”
I laugh at that. “Before I did? How?”
Helga tips my head up, fingers beneath my chin. “With a heart as big as yours, I knew you would find someone to care for. You boys have been through so much. It’s been my greatest joy to watch you find your way back to happiness. You’re strong. All of you.”
I clear my throat, trying to find a way to voice the one thing I have not been able to stop thinking about since I put on my tuxedo.
“I wish he was here. Father. I wish he could be here to see that we’re all right. I wish he could have met Arlo, Kieran, Jamie—” I can’t continue. If I try, I’ll break.
“Oh, dear,” Helga whispers, voice trembling. She puts her arms around me and holds tight. I let myself slump, forehead against her shoulder. My lungs ache when I take a deep breath and I shudder on the exhale. “I know. So do I. You have made him proud. I know it in my heart.”
So do I. Ever since I accepted Arlo into my life, I’ve changed, and only for the better. He’s helped make me into a man my father would be proud of, a man I can find pride in. One day.
Helga gives my cheek a pat. “Now. Shall we?”
I take her arm in mine.
We join the line of our friends and family waiting to make their entrance. We decided Arlo and I would walk the aisle together, followed by my brothers, then Arlo’s parents, and then Helga and Nan. Distant voices of our guests drift out the windows and into the night as we approach.
Arlo smiles radiantly when he spots me. He holds out his hands and, with a final squeeze of my aunt’s arm, I go to him.
Taking his hands in mine, I pull him close enough to kiss his forehead.
“You look…” Words can’t describe how handsome he is in his suit, fitted perfectly to his tapered waist. “Good.”
Behind me, Anders snorts. “Well spoken, brother.”
I step on his toes.
Arlo gasps. “Good? That’s what you have to say? I’m a bloody treat in this suit and you know it.”
I press my lips to his ear. “What I have to say is hardly suitable for our guests.”
Lo practically purrs. “I was going to say I can’t decide if I like you better with clothes on or not.”
Wulfric coughs behind us. Loudly.
“Right. Ulfhednar. Superior hearing. Oops,” Arlo says unabashedly. He takes my hand and squeezes my fingers. “Ready, stud?”
I adjust his collar just enough for the edge of my mark to show. Pressing my lips to the warm, healed skin, I murmur, “I’ve been ready, Lo. For a long time.”
Arlo hums softly. “Can we go inside before I start crying? Mum insisted on putting mascara on me and I don’t want to smudge it.”
As we step through the barn doors together, our guests turn their heads and welcome us with smiles and warm gazes. The violinist sways as she plays “I’ll Stand By You,” a song Arlo loves. It’s uncomfortable to have so many eyes on me.
Don’t trip. Don’t trip.
Arlo bumps his shoulder against mine. One look into his eyes, and the surrounding room vanishes. He’s all that matters. This man who holds my heart in his hands, cracks and all.
We stand together before the officiant, and pair by pair, my pack comes to join us. Wulfric, his arm around Kieran’s shoulders. My little brother has become every bit the alpha Father always knew he could be. I almost do a double take when Anders and Jamie follow after them.
Anders looks unrecognizable when he smiles first at Jamie and then at me. I truly thought he’d lost himself to grief and rage after losing Father. Jamie has made him smile again, and I will always be grateful.
My chest tightens when Soren and Lyall approach, hand in hand.
Lyall looks happier than he has in years, and when I look and see the tender smile Soren wears for my brother, I wonder how I could ever have doubted his loyalty.
Soren is pack, through and through, and I’m going to make sure he knows that from now on.
Natalie smiles, blotting away tears with a tissue Bill offers her as he walks down the aisle with her. He meets my gaze and nods in greeting, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. My pack has only gotten bigger, despite our rocky start.
Nan and Helga wave at us and though we only just spoke, I cannot help but smile at Helga. She’s seen the best and worst of me and never once gave up on me. And Nan… I’ll have to tell her later just how right she was when she told me I would find love again.
Our family gathers on either side of us, a warm and powerful presence. I give Arlo’s fingers a squeeze, unable to banish the smile from my face, one he returns in kind. Gods, he’s perfect, and he’s mine. I can’t look away, spellbound by the joy and tenderness on his face.
Arlo only removes his hand from mine to pull his vows from his pocket.
He clears his throat, blinking fast. “Oh damn. I’m going to cry.
Sorry, Mum.” He dabs at his eyes while the audience laughs good-naturedly.
Natalie squeezes his shoulder. Arlo laughs shakily, and I thumb away the tear gathering at the corner of his eye.
“For a long time, I was afraid to put myself out there. I couldn’t trust that I wouldn’t be hurt.
Trusting you should have been hard and scary, but you made falling in love with you the easiest thing I have ever done.
Of all the souls in this universe, I will always be grateful fate bound ours together.
There’s no one else I want. I love you. Now. Forever.”
What can I possibly say that’s equal to that? Gods, I’ve got to kiss him. I lean in, but Arlo puts his hands on my chest, laughing. “Easy, stud. Wait until the nice lady tells us we can kiss.”
I growl, shoulders slumping. “I’ve waited long enough, Arlo Tenanbaum.
I never thought I’d find someone I’d love so deeply.
Not after…” He nods his understanding and presses his forehead to mine.
“But here we are. You’ve brought me back from the brink.
Reminded me I was capable of love again and by the gods, I will spend every day of my life making you happy.
So one day, when I finally face the gods, I can tell them I met the one they made just for me, and I loved him with everything I had. ”
Arlo sniffs. “Can I kiss him now?”
The officiant smiles, and our family and guests laugh. “The rings, please.” Lyall jumps and fumbles in his pocket for the rings. He hands them to each of us. “Arlo, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed, now and for all of our adventures ahead.”
Arlo takes my hand and slips the ring over my finger, his eyes never leaving mine as he promises himself to me.
I pledge the same, sealing my vow with the ring on his finger.
The officiant takes our hands and brings them together, mine on top of Arlo’s. She binds them together with rope, just like we do in my time.
“By the power vested in me, I declare you husbands. You may kiss—”
“Thank fuck,” Arlo whispers. Then he hauls me in and crashes his lips to mine. I’m smiling against his mouth, laughing at his eagerness. The bond between us ignites like kindling to dry wood, flooding me with happiness and love that echoes my own.
Once, I made a promise to the man I loved.
I have never forgotten Leif, and I never will.
I only love Arlo so deeply because Leif and Bjorn and Father taught me how.
So long as I have breath in my lungs and love in my heart, they will never be gone.
One day, when I finally see them again, I can thank them properly.
Until then, it’s time to finally live again. With Arlo at my side and the support of our family, that will not be a challenge at all.