Chapter 4
What the actual fuck had just happened? Brianna leaned against her door, breathing heavy. River had asked her for help, which made sense. But undressing River had awoken something powerful buried inside of her. It had taken every ounce of self-control she’d had not to wrap her arms around the woman. Every fiber in her body had wanted to kiss every part of River’s body. A whole-body connection had been formed.
Even more, Brianna could swear that River felt it too. That feeling of reciprocity had to be her imagination. There was no way that she and River were both developing an attraction for one another at the same time.
Brianna sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her door. What was she doing? River was her friend and her roommate. These newly developing feelings were a recipe for disaster. Not to mention the fact that River wasn’t even single. It was true that Tiffany wasn’t Brianna’s favorite person. Still, Brianna wasn’t the sort to get involved with someone who was already seeing somebody. The entire thing made her stomach churn.
Mel had told her to give herself a couple of weeks. She laid flat on her back and stared at the ceiling instead of the door. She just needed a couple weeks for her head to take control of her heart. She squeezed her eyes shut, but her mind immediately jumped to the memory of River standing bare in front of her. Brianna covered her face with a pillow and screamed into it.
The slimy feeling of guilt came over her. River had no idea that Brianna was here picturing her half naked. What kind of friend was she? In times like these there was only one answer. Workout. Brianna needed to lift something heavy and exhaust herself. If her body was tired, her mind was sure to follow. Brianna sent River a quick text explaining that she was going to run to the gym for a quick workout. River sent her a thumbs up emoji.
Brianna sighed and threw on a workout tank top and yoga pants. This was exactly what she needed to get her emotions under control. The drive to her gym saw Brianna skipping every possible romance song that came onto her playlist. She finally tired of the constant skipping and turned the music off.
The free weights were her friends and that’s where she went to find a station. Without much consideration of her surroundings, she found and claimed a free bench. Then she found a pair of ten-pound dumbbells.
“Brianna? Is that you?”
Brianna turned her head to the side and saw Jordan Foxx in the station next to hers. Brianna’s smile widened. Jordan ran an amazing animal rescue in WaterColor.
“It’s me. How have you been?” Brianna asked.
Most people hated the tedium of small talk at the gym, but Brianna was the exception. She loved it. There was something so fun about being able to talk about nothing in particular while working out.
“I’ve been doing well. Reese is out of town. She went to Atlanta to visit some old friends of hers. So, I’m focusing on doing the day to day things until she gets back. I’m doing a Krav Maga class after this if you care to join me?”
Brianna had heard of Krav Maga, but she’d never considered trying it before. But she wasn’t one to turn down a challenge, and this kept her out of the house for a whole extra hour.
“Sure. I’ll try anything once,” Brianna chuckled.
“Great.”
Brianna did a set of shoulder presses then turned back to Jordan. She watched as the woman finished up some bicep curls.
“What made you want to start Krav Maga?” Brianna asked, genuinely curious.
“I wanted to do karate as a kid. But my mom never signed me up. When I became an adult I decided to pick up a martial art that was focused on self-defense. Plus, I like getting a good mix of striking and ground work.”
“That makes a lot of sense. I’ve been looking for something fun that could help me with my cardio.”
“Come to class. See if it fits what you’ve been looking for,” Jordan suggested.
They each did another set of their exercises.
“Have you ever developed feelings for a friend?”
The words were out of Brianna’s mouth before she could even think about them. Jordan set her weights down by her feet and turned to Brianna. She pinned Brianna with an analytical stare.
“Like romantic feelings?” Jordan asked.
“Yeah. Like romantic feelings.”
“No, not really.”
“How have you managed that?”
“Well, there’s romantic chemistry and then there’s friendship chemistry. I have romantic chemistry with Reese. It was apparent the first time we met. I have friendship chemistry with Allison. I don’t know how to explain it but the feelings are just different. I’ve always been pretty good at sorting who belongs in which box for me.”
Brianna took in a sharp, deep breath.
“You must be lucky,” Brianna laughed.
“Why do you ask?”
“I just. Well, I.” Brianna allowed her words to fall away.
“Well?”
Jordan was clearly expecting an answer. Brianna shot her an apologetic glance.
“You brought it up. So, there’s clearly something on your mind,” Jordan offered.
“It’s my friend, River. I’ve always thought she was beautiful. But we became roommates soon after meeting, and then she met someone that she’s been dating for a while.”
“I see. What else?” Jordan said, giving Brianna plenty of room to keep going.
“There was never time for me to see if we could be more than friends. I put her out of my mind. I mean she’s dating someone else. But recently she was in an accident.”
“That must be the friend that Mel was telling me about. She was hit by a car right?”
“That’s right. Ever since the accident I have felt so close to her. Like I’m drawn to her. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with her, but I can’t seem to push my feelings to the side anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening.”
“Sounds like having a moment where you thought you might lose this person had an effect on you. At the very least it seems your romantic feelings have been resurrected from the experience,” Jordan offered.
“Yeah, but what do I do now? I can’t just skulk around my house. And I can’t avoid her. I’m supposed to be helping her while she recovers.”
“Is there any chance she feels the same way about you?”
“I don’t think so. She’s in a pretty stable, committed relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if once River recuperates, she and Tiff get a place together.”
“Hmm, I’m going to point something out and I hope it isn’t out of line. But if it is, we can always back off and talk about something else.”
“Sounds fair. Let’s hear it.”
“Okay. It sounds like you’re doing a lot of helping as far as River’s recovery goes. What exactly is Tiff doing?”
Brianna fought against the urge to answer nothing . Instead, she sat and considered the question for a moment.
“She brought food and came for a visit today.”
“But you gave River a ride home from the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re going to be the one helping her around the house?”
“Yes.”
“Is there a reason why Tiff can’t be more involved?”
Brianna wanted to be careful with her answer. The last thing she wanted to do was let her own bias dictate her response.
“I’m not sure what her schedule is like right now,” Brianna offered.
Jordan sat with that response for a moment.
“Is a relationship with River something you would be interested in? If she was available and your attraction for her was reciprocated, would you want to try dating her?”
“Yes.”
Brianna was a little surprised by the sureness of her own answer. Jordan had asked the question and Brianna hadn’t needed long to know that her answer was an unwavering yes.
“Do you want my opinion?” Jordan asked.
“Yes, I want to know what you think,” Brianna answered. She knew that Jordan could be brutal with the truth but maybe that’s what she needed.
“It’s maybe a little too soon after the accident for you to overthink things. Keep showing up. Keep being there for her. Check in with yourself and stay aware of what you’re feeling. Maybe once the shock of the accident goes away, you’ll realize that you and River aren’t actually compatible. But as time progresses, if your feelings are the same or stronger, then you might need to say something. I wouldn’t be surprised if what you’re feeling is more two-sided than you think. We tend to notice the people who show up for us. Definitely, stick within the boundaries of your friendship. Just don’t count yourself out yet.”
“Maybe,” Brianna conceded.
“But I can’t count on River changing her mind,” Brianna added after a moment of contemplation.
“Of course not. And you shouldn’t try to force it to happen. Just don’t shut yourself off from the idea. You also shouldn’t feel bad for how you’re feeling right now. Sometimes the fear of losing someone brings all kinds of buried feelings to the surface.”
Brianna nodded her head. She had to admit that between Mel and Jordan her head was having a much easier time wrapping itself around her newfound feelings.
“Thank you. That was truly validating.”
“Great. Are you ready for Krav Maga class? Since Reese is out of town, I don’t have a partner for tonight.”
Brianna gave an enthusiastic nod of her head. She loved trying new things. Five minutes into the class, Brianna realized she hadn’t been ready for Krav Maga class. Brianna wasn’t bad, she just had no idea what she was doing. When class was over Jordan gave her a pat of the back and a smile.
“You did good out there,” Jordan said with a wide smile.
“I had no idea what I was even doing,”
“None of us do during our first class. I hope you’ll consider signing up.”
“I’ll think about it,” Brianna laughed.
Her mind was elsewhere. She wanted to know what River was thinking. Was River having a similar experience to her own? Brianna chastised herself. River was in a serious relationship, she wouldn’t be thinking anything about Brianna. Brianna lay down on the mat and enjoyed the soreness of her muscles. If nothing else the class had worn her out.
“On second thought I think I do want to sign up,” Brianna beamed.
“There would never be a better time for her to sign up.”
An hour later she was a new member. Here she went on a brand-new adventure. This would be one for the books.