Chapter 17
River had spent her day piddling around the house. She’d gotten plenty of work done but she’d mostly kept herself busy with little tasks. There was a noticeable absence with Brianna gone. Not that River would ever admit to anyone that she missed having Brianna around when she left for her weekly coffee dates with Allison. She wasn’t the kind of woman to get so attached this quickly.
Things with Brianna were different than any other woman she’d ever been around before. Brianna owned a significant piece of real estate in River’s heart. There was no way to deny her feelings. Loving Brianna was as natural for River as breathing was. Everything was coming together in such an organic way.
There was a knock on the door. River laughed to herself; this would mark the third time Brianna had forgotten her house key this week. She practically ran to the door.
“Babe, did you forget your key again?” River laughed as she swung the door open.
“Actually, I don’t think I ever used the spare key you gave me.”
Tiff stood flowers in hand and a smug look on her face. River experienced that moment of shock, when something is supposed to be one thing but then it ends up being another. River had been convinced that this would be Brianna, instead, here stood Tiff. River drew back, unable to keep a disgusted grimace from curling her lips.
“What are you doing here?” River sighed, already exasperated before the interaction had a chance to begin.
“You weren’t answering my texts. I had to take matters into my own hands.”
“But why?” River asked, growing more annoyed by the second.
“How are we going to work things out if you can’t stop pouting long enough for us to talk?”
River laughed out loud in spite of herself. She witnessed a flicker of surprise cross Tiff’s face. The expression only lasted for a moment. Then Tiff was back to her casually cool self. Tiff was always in control. But not today, and not with River.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Of course, I am,” Tiff answered. There was a hint of annoyance in her tone which River took as a personal victory.
“We’re done, Tiff. You cheated on me, and you weren’t even a great girlfriend leading up to that.”
River folded her arms across her chest and pinned Tiff with a better off dead glare.
“That was one indiscretion. A chance to get something out of my system before settling down.”
The amount of ick that River felt was unquantifiable.
“You also left Brianna to take care of me after my accident,” River accused.
Tiff waved her off. Her gesture was almost so casual it was disconcerting.
“Honestly, River, what did you want me to do? Come sit on the couch and watch movies while you recovered?”
River’s heart leapt in her chest. That was exactly what she had wanted. And that was exactly what Brianna had given her.
“Yes,” River said plainly.
“What good would that have done?” Tiff sighed.
“I was hurt, Tiff. I needed someone to show up for me. And you never did, which is one of the many reasons that things would never work out with us. Besides, Brianna and I have started dating,” River announced proudly.
“Brianna? Your roommate? Babe, come on. You can’t be serious,” Tiff laughed.
“Firstly, I’m not your babe. Secondly, I am absolutely serious. And why shouldn’t I be? Brianna is kind, considerate, loyal, and I know that no matter what happens she’ll always be there for me.”
“So would I,” Tiff demanded.
“History would dispute that.”
“I made one mistake,” Tiff said.
“You made several mistakes. And cheating isn’t a mistake. Cheating is a dealbreaker.”
River met Tiff’s eyes and refused to look away. Tiff rubbed the back of her neck with a hand. She sighed and River watched as her face softened.
“Listen, the truth is that I got scared. We were getting really serious. We had started talking about rings and I wasn’t sure if I was ready. And yes, I should have handled that better. But I didn’t know how. It was scary to think that I was the person you were relying on to help you after the accident. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to show up for you.”
“That might be the realest thing you’ve ever said to me. But how are things different now? What makes you able to handle those things now?” River demanded.
“Because now I know what it’s like to lose you. I never want to do that again.”
River sighed deeply. This encounter was proving to be harder than she’d imagined it would be.
“It’s too late. I’m already gone,” River said, her tone softer than before.
“I refuse to accept that. I won’t leave here until I say exactly what I came to say.”
“Nothing you say is going to change my mind. I love Brianna.”
River was stunned when Tiff dropped to one knee. She was even more surprised when Tiff pulled a ring box out of her back pocket. Shit. This was the last thing River needed in her life.
“Tiff, don’t,” River protested, but Tiff held up a hand to silence her.
“River, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. It took losing you for me to see what I had all along. No one will ever be able to match me the way that you do. You’ve been the perfect partner. I should have made more of an effort when you were hurt, I know that now. I never should have cheated on you. But you have to know that I would never do that again. You’re everything I need. You have to know that Brianna can’t give you the life that you want. But I can. We’re both intelligent and ambitious women. We match one another. Please say you’ll marry me?”
River heard a gasp and turned towards the doorway. Brianna stood with a bouquet of flowers in hand. River watched as Brianna took in the scene in front of her. The flowers fell from her hands.
“I’m going to go,” Brianna said, her voice barely above a whisper.
River reached out her hand instinctively.
“Brianna, stay,” River called. But it was too late. Brianna had already turned to run.
Fuck. How much of the proposal had Brianna heard? Tiff didn’t have the good grace to seem ashamed. River couldn’t believe she’d ever been in love with the woman.
“Now that that’s over. Let’s get back to…”
“Get up,” River demanded, her words cut Tiff off before she had a chance to finish her thought.
Tiff sighed and rose to her feet. She met River’s eyes and smiled.
“I meant what I said. I want to marry you,” Tiff said.
“No, you don’t,” River sighed in exasperation.
“You don’t want to lose me. You like to win, and you can’t handle that I broke things off with you before you were ready. You don’t feel bad. There’s not an ounce of guilt in you. Tiff, you said that I was the perfect partner for you. Well, Brianna is the perfect partner for me. Not you. You want all of the perks in a relationship without any of the expectations. You want to show up when you want and how you want, without any regard for what might be best for me. You see me as someone who is here to take care of you and your needs. But if I have a need, I won’t ever be able to count on you.”
Tiff blinked at her slowly. It was clear that she was surprised by everything that River had expressed. Not just surprised but mildly insulted.
“You know what, maybe this isn’t the best match for me after all. I could have given you everything.”
“There’s more to life than having a successful career,” River groaned.
“For what it’s worth, if Brianna is who you want to be with then I hope you’re happy together. But I still think you’re not seeing the whole picture of what we could be together.”
Tiff spared her one last glance before taking her flowers and heading out the door. River was so mad she wanted to scream. She picked up the flowers that Brianna had dropped and gave them a sniff. What was she going to do? River had to find Brianna and explain that this was one big misunderstanding. She lay the flowers on the countertop in the kitchen and pressed her head against the wall. The wall was cool to the touch. She should have handled things with Tiff weeks ago instead of ignoring her. Now she had to find Brianna and explain that this was a huge misunderstanding. River stood upright and grabbed her keys. She was almost certain she knew exactly where Brianna was headed. Now more than ever she realized exactly how important Brianna was to her.