CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jaxton
T
ime keeps slipping through my fingers, indifferent to my silent pleas for it to stop—or at the very least, slow down. Each minute drags me deeper into this unbearable, suffocating hell.
The only thread tethering me to sanity is the thought of my brothers—their voices echoing in my mind like a lifeline. I cling to their laughter, their strength, their love like armor against the storm. They’re my light in the void, the reason I fight to stay whole.
But the darkness is relentless. It’s growing, stretching its claws around me, threatening to devour every fragile piece of hope I have left of bringing her home.
And some nights... I almost believe it.
Avery’s case is cold. The police have no new leads. The media has moved on, only mentioning her disappearance in passing, another forgotten tragedy in their endless cycle of breaking news. The world is forgetting her. But I never will. We never will.
Hollywood has all but erased me. I’ve pulled back from everything, vanishing from the scene in hopes of keeping the relentless paparazzi at bay. Fewer clingers now park outside Avery’s house or her father’s place, trying to get a glimpse of us, desperate for a scoop. It makes it easier to move, to keep searching without the cameras flashing in our faces, reducing our grief to headlines and gossip.
Dan—Avery’s dad—has become part of our daily routine. If we’re not at his place, we’re FaceTiming him from the backyard, usually while flipping burgers on the grill she picked out or watering the flowers she planted with her bare hands. It's our way of holding onto her—keeping her world alive for when we finally bring her home.
It’s not just about comforting Dan. It’s about staying connected to every piece of Avery. Every routine. Every memory. Her house, her backyard, even the damn wind chimes she hung under the awning—they’re pieces of her soul. So we tend to them like they’re sacred. Because to us, they are.
Dan refuses to come to her house. Not until she’s back in it. He says it doesn’t feel right. Says stepping inside without her would break him. So instead, we bring her to him. Through phone calls, through updates, through laughter and stories shared over grilled steak and cold beer.
It’s working—slowly.
At first, he was barely functioning. The man who once towered over all of us, commanding presence in every room, looked… hollow. Like someone had scooped out his spirit and left only a shell. I saw it in his eyes—the kind of pain that lives in your bones. The kind you don’t shake. But we didn’t let him fall into it. We couldn’t. Not when we’re all teetering on the same edge.
So we show up. Day after day. We talk. We listen. We just exist beside him when words are too heavy to lift. Somehow, that’s enough.
He’s getting stronger. Not quite whole, not yet—but fighting. Just like we are.
We’re all clawing our way through this hell together. And every call, every visit, every quiet moment around the fire is another step back from the edge. Not just for him. For me. For all of us.
Because if we stop—if we give in to the silence—then we’ve already lost her.
And that’s something we’ll never accept.
We’ve given up our lives in San Diego, moving into Avery’s place because there was no way in hell we could leave. Not when every day without her is a day too long. Not when the chance of her returning feels like the only thing keeping us breathing.
But she’s gone. Vanished into thin air.
And now… there’s Sarah.
And the baby.
She brought me the paperwork, an ultrasound—proof that she’s carrying something I never wanted with her. Doubt lingers like a disease, one that I can’t cure until she stops dodging the paternity test. She wants to wait until after the baby is born, but fuck that—I need to know now. Every time I see her, every time she stands in front of me with that growing belly, I feel sick. Because it should be Avery’s. She’s the only woman I want a future with.
Telling Dan that I might have gotten another woman pregnant while his daughter—the love of my fucking life—is missing? Yeah, that was about as fun as stabbing myself in the eye. He decked me so hard my teeth snapped together, sending me straight to the ground. If my brothers hadn’t been there to hold him back, I’m not sure he wouldn’t have beat me unconscious.
But once they explained the situation, he took a deep breath, yanked me to my feet, and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.
We spent that night drinking. Barbecuing. Pretending for a few short hours that life hadn’t ripped our hearts straight out of our chests.
Now, I sit in Avery’s bedroom, surrounded by her things, drowning in her absence. The house is too quiet without her laughter. Every room feels hollow, like the life inside it was ripped away the night she disappeared.
I press my face into her pillow, inhaling deeply, but her scent is long gone. Still, it’s the closest I can get to her.
"Jax! We gave you a couple of hours—no more hiding out," Kamden’s authoritative voice echoes down the hall.
"In here!" I call out, voice hoarse from disuse.
Kam’s head pops around the corner, followed by Liam and Lennox. Three identical expressions—concern masked behind forced humor—stare back at me.
The way they peek into the room reminds me of when we were kids, sneaking up on Ma when we knew we were in trouble, hoping our puppy-dog eyes would soften the blow. The memory sends an unexpected laugh up my throat, surprising even me.
Liam and Lennox chuckle, their laughter blending into mine, echoing off the walls like ghosts of a better time.
Lennox and Liam plop down on either side of me, leaning back against the wall, both lost in their own thoughts.
“We’re going over to Dan’s for the evening,” Liam says after a moment. “He reminded us to water the yard and flowers.” His laugh is empty, lacking its usual warmth. “I told him we installed the new sprinkler system last weekend. Set it to run every morning.”
“Thanks, Liam,” I murmur, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Locking up her house and walking away each time without her is a fresh wound, carving deeper and deeper into my already battered soul. One of these days, there won’t be anything left of me.
I hesitate before locking the door, pressing my palm against the wood, sending a silent message into the universe.
A firm hand lands on my shoulder, grounding me in the present. Kamden.
“Let’s go, brother,” he says, voice deep and steady. Always the anchor. Always the one keeping us from completely falling apart.
The weight of reality presses down on us. It’s been months. Too many months.
The chance of finding her—of finding her alive—is shrinking.
We all know it. Dan knows it.
But none of us will say it.
We won’t breathe life into that possibility.
Because if we do…
We’ve already lost.
Dan’s already outside at the grill when we pull up, his hands steady as he flips the steaks, but the man we met months ago—the one full of life, teasing Avery every chance he got—is a ghost of himself. A smile tugs at his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Those once bright blue eyes are dull, hollowed out with worry, grief, and exhaustion.
He closes the grill lid and makes his way over as we step out of the car, his hands automatically reaching to help unload the trunk.
“My boys! How’s today?” He slaps Kamden and Liam on the back before taking a case of beer from Lennox.
“Good,” the twins respond together, but the word lacks enthusiasm.
Lennox exhales heavily, shaking his head. “Still missing our girl.”
Dan swallows tightly, nodding as if he expected nothing less. “Thank you, boys, for taking care of her place so well. I know she’d be proud of the work you’ve done to make it a home—an amazing home—for when she returns.” His voice gruffs up at the end, his emotions threatening to choke him. But before the heaviness can settle, he clears his throat and shifts the subject. “Now, let’s get these beers cold and finish the steaks on the grill.”
Kam rubs his hands together, grinning. “You gonna let me man the grill this go-round?” He knows damn well Dan isn’t about to hand over his prized possession, but the attempt makes Dan huff a chuckle—exactly what Kam was going for. Anything to keep his mind from spiraling.
“You may have a couple of fancy restaurants, son, but they ain’t got nothin’ on this here grill.” Dan shakes his head, flipping the steaks once more, ensuring they’re cooking just right. “Now, sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to since we last saw each other.”
Lennox cracks his beer open and kicks his feet up on the empty chair beside him. “Dan, you act like that was months ago. We were here just the other day.”
Dan’s laugh rumbles deep in his chest, a sound I’ve missed hearing. “That’s true. It’s nice of you boys to keep me company. Keeps me busy, stops my mind from festering too much.” He doesn’t let the conversation lull like we usually do when Avery comes up. “Kam, how’d your trip back home go? You take care of that chef issue?”
Kam huffs, tension settling into his shoulders. “Yeah, she stayed, but it cost me another twenty grand to keep her.”
Dan chuckles, shaking his head. “Sounds like a smart girl.”
Kam runs a hand down the back of his neck, something he only does when he’s stressed. “She’s one of the best in the business. Letting her go wasn’t an option.”
“What’d you do about the guy that was bothering her?” Lennox asks, tipping his beer back and draining the last of it.
“Fired his ass.” Kam’s voice turns sharp, filled with disgust. “I don’t tolerate sexual harassment in my kitchens.”
“Good,” Dan replies firmly, testing the meat before plating a couple of the smaller steaks, setting them on the table for us to pick at. “I know I’ve said this before, but I appreciate you guys being here. Keeping me in your lives. Keeping her in your lives.” His voice cracks just a little, but he pushes through it. “You boys have these big, important lives, and yet you dropped everything the second Avery was taken. That says a hell of a lot about the kind of men you are.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut.
I grip his arm, making sure he hears me—feels me. “Dan, you’re stuck with us for life now.” My voice is low, filled with a conviction I refuse to let waver. “I’m not going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere.”
Dan meets my eyes, and I hold his gaze, making sure he knows we mean every single word.
My brothers chime in with their own murmurs of agreement, each of us silently vowing that no matter how long it takes, we will never stop looking for her.
Dan grunts, a sound that’s more emotion than acknowledgment, as I press a beer into his hand. “Now, let’s try to relax. Take this, drink with us.”
He doesn’t argue. He takes a deep pull from the bottle, nodding once in thanks before turning his back to us and focusing on the grill.
My chest tightens. I see it—the way his shoulders shake slightly, the way he swipes at his face when he thinks we aren’t looking.
I can’t take it.
I push to my feet, standing beside him, letting my presence say what my words can’t.
The others carry on their conversation, giving us the illusion of normalcy, but Dan and I are frozen in place, bound by the same unbearable pain.
My arm drapes over his shoulders, feeling how much weight he’s lost in the past few months. “Dan, you know I believe we’ll get her back.” I whisper it, low and sure.
Dan exhales shakily, struggling to get the words out. “Son… I don’t know how you keep your faith. I’m not gonna lie—I’ve had thoughts…” He chokes, his voice breaking.
“Hey,” Kamden appears on his other side, his arm sliding over mine, anchoring us together. “No matter what happens, we’ll be here for you.”
The glare I give Kam could set the world on fire.
How fucking dare he ?
He backtracks, running a hand down his face. “I’m sorry, Jax. But we need to be prepared. It’s been months. No leads. Nothing.”
“Never.” The word cuts out of me like a blade.
Kam sighs, guilt flashing across his face. But then Dan speaks, and what he says nearly sends me to my knees.
“I know.”
Two words. Small. Defeated.
My breath hitches. I turn, facing him fully, my heart pounding like a drum of war.
“Dan…”
He closes his eyes, his chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. When he opens them again, there’s devastation in his stare. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
My brothers fall silent.
Dan takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Kam’s right, Jax. It’s not that I want to believe she’s not coming back. God knows, I don’t. But… I have to prepare myself for the possibility. Because if I don’t—if I keep holding on and it turns out I was wrong—I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”
A tear slips free, trailing down his weathered face.
I can’t breathe.
Can’t fucking breathe .
Because for the first time since Avery disappeared, I hear the thing I’ve fought so fucking hard to avoid—the doubt.
It’s worming its way into my chest, wrapping around my lungs like a vice, squeezing the hope out of me piece by piece.
No.
No, I won’t let it.
I won’t let him give up. I won’t let Kamden feed the fear. I won’t let anyone doubt that Avery is coming home.
Because she is.
She has to.
With no hesitation, I step forward and pull Dan into the tightest hug I’ve ever given in my life. My arms lock around his broad back, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt like I can physically hold him together.
My brothers close in, each of us forming a solid, unbreakable wall of strength.
Dan’s body shakes against mine, the weight of his grief nearly buckling his knees. But I hold him up. We all do.
And as I squeeze my eyes shut, I send out a silent, desperate plea into the universe.
Hold on, Sunshine. Keep fighting.