Chapter Three #2
I’d gone looking for him, and after I found Harley mopping up spilled alcohol in the storeroom, I was sent in the direction of Grease’s office.
I knew Tesio was a mafia guy undercover at the club, but I had no idea if Harley was in the know, so I just thanked him and headed there.
I knew my man Has-Been was shadowing me everywhere, but he’d agreed to give me some space to do this, and I loved him so much more for it.
Every day he proved to me that he was the perfect man for me, and the sweetest, kindest possible person to spend my life with.
I knew my brother Seth, aka Stitch, hadn’t been open to it at first, but he’d backed down, once he realised I wasn’t going to give up on being with his club brother.
As I opened the door to the building that housed Grease’s tech office, I walked straight into Micro, who was just stepping through it at the exact same moment. He caught me, a reflex, I’m sure, before he realised just who he was touching, and cursed, backing up instantly with his hands up.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Elise. I didn’t mean to touch you.” He immediately cast his eyes around, probably looking for Has, or my brother, and expecting to get smacked down for it. I found Has and shook my head at him, but I could see his fists were clenched, and he was muttering to himself.
“It’s okay,” I said, when I turned back to face Micro.
He looked so different from the last time I saw him, almost six months ago.
His hair was longer, and lighter than it’d been before, like it’d been dyed, and had grown out.
It softened his look, making him seem more approachable.
He wasn’t quite as bulky as he used to be either, which made him fractionally less terrifying.
Micro backed up another step, and pointed behind him.
“You’re going to see Grease?”
“No. I’m here looking for you.”
His eyes widened and he looked around us again, knowing we were both in view of the courtyard, and anyone could see us.
“Uh… someone sent you to find me? Seems a bit unfair of them to do that.”
His voice wasn’t even as harsh as it used to be. He was always so in your face before, and now he was calmer. That was it. Calm.
“Something else is probably going wrong, huh? I seem to have fucked up the most important fucking day for the club.”
I hesitated, reassessing him, and my earlier thought of him being so calm. He was so different, that it was hard to believe it was even the same guy.
“You don’t seem stressed. You seem to have things under control, and besides, you know, the best laid plans and all that.”
Micro frowned at me, again looking around us, like he was just waiting to get his ass kicked. Maybe he just expected it anyway, because he knew he deserved it.
“Do you need something from me, Elise?”
Did I? Didn’t I? I nodded, and he responded with a single nod of his own.
“I’m sorry. I was a fucking asshole before, and you bore the brunt of it.
I can’t take that back, or undo it, but I really wish I could.
You didn’t deserve to be the target for my rage.
I’ll always regret dragging you into that shit.
” He ran a hand over his hair, tugging at the ends in an agitated gesture.
“I didn’t deserve it. You’re right about that.
I didn’t give you any reason to make me a part of your revenge.
I was trying to find a home for myself, trying to convince my brother that I was in love, and it was a good thing, but you kept attacking me.
” Micro nodded, not backing down from my words, and back then he would have, or he’d have made some snarky comment in response.
“I know. I wish I could go back in time.”
I took a deep breath, knowing I was about to shock the hell out of him.
“I don’t.”
As expected, his jaw dropped, and he frowned deeply.
“I don’t get it.”
I gestured around us, at everything going on, and the many club members who seemed to have one eye on us. It wasn’t just my man on standby to rescue me if I needed it, and I appreciated that so much.
“Our experiences define who we are. I didn’t realise it until recently, but your actions made me tougher, made me realise that I could let it continue to traumatise me, or I could use it to help me grow, and become stronger.
I’m not saying I don’t still have a nightmare or two, but they’re rare now.
What I do know is that a man like you wouldn’t get a chance to do that to me again.
I know that I’m stronger than I ever knew.
I don’t shy away from the difficult things now. I face them head on.”
Micro snorted at the last bit, and shook his head.
“I don’t want to diminish anything you just said, because I’m glad you’re finding a way to use it to your advantage, and get past it, but the girl I remember wasn’t shying away from difficult things back then either.
She got in her VP brother’s face, and told him to butt out of her life, because she’d love who she wanted to, and even though you picked that dipshit over there, I could respect that. ”
His words were oddly empowering, but I caught the hint of a sneer when he referred to Has, and that bothered me more than the presence of Micro himself now.
“Why do you hate him?”
Micro groaned, grabbing the back of his neck with one hand, as he looked again for what I now realised was probably rescue for him, rather than me.
“I don’t. I mean, I don’t hate any of them now.
Back then I had a beef with fucking everyone, and I was wrong.
I know it, they know it, everyone fucking knows it.
I’m trying to fix that shit, but I’m still just a guy, and I mouth off sometimes.
I’m real glad you’re trying to move on, and I appreciate you being brave enough to approach me for it, but I need to go put out a bunch of fires, if you’re done?
” Hell, what else was there to say anyway?
I shrugged and stepped aside, and he carefully edged past me, making sure no part of him touched me, and that helped a little too, to replace that version of him in my mind who relished, and revelled in, my pain and horror.
“Uh, Elise?”
He’d stopped just behind me, so I turned, because whether I was being brave or not, there was smart and there was dumb as fuck. I didn’t like him behind me, even now.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.” I frowned at him and he shrugged one shoulder. “This was for your own catharsis or closure, and I get that, but you let me say stuff that I needed to say to you, for so fucking long, so I think I’m kinda getting some closure too now. You’ll always be safe here, I promise you that.”
Huh. I watched him walk away, and realised that this conversation did more than I realised.
Yes, I got my moment to talk, I got my moment to look him in the eye, and see if he regretted his actions, but also, I learned something really vital.
He’d definitely changed, and grown, and I think Lissa might even be right.
He wasn’t a monster anymore. Just a harassed interim club president, who was having a bad day, but still took the time to listen to me, and did his best not to scare me.
“Baby, you okay?” Has took my hands, and stared into my eyes, like he was looking for some signs of trauma, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“I really am. He’s nothing like he was, Has, my god, I feel like a weight’s been lifted. I feel like I can let go of that fear now, and truly put it behind me. He’s… he seems really nice now.”