Chapter 4 #2
“No,” he said quickly and flatly. As if he didn’t believe in his single word answer, but at the same time, resolved himself to the fact they had no other options, which wasn’t true.
“We had two choices. We could’ve come back.
We could’ve fought to expose the cover-up.
But at what risk? And whose lives would’ve been at stake by doing so?
” He pressed his finger over her lips. “Langley turned his back on us to protect himself and a political alliance. It wasn’t about protecting a chain inside a covert world.
” He tapped her nose. “You run that world.”
“That’s a stretch.” She sighed, lifting her glass, staring at the clear liquid, before taking another gulp. “I might be high up in the shadows, but—”
“There’s no buts, Savvy. You hold the cards.
It’s one thing to hide out while we figure out the players and why they want you gone, but only you can fix what’s wrong from the inside.
You have that power, but you can’t do it if you're a ghost. You can only do it if you go back.” He took her glass, stood, and sauntered across the room.
“Now go back to bed. McGuire is gathering the team. He expects me to get you to tell me what you know before they get here. I’m hoping I don’t have to extract it like I’m a freaking dentist pulling teeth.
We’ll hash out a plan.” He turned, leaned against the bar, and stared at her with hard eyes.
The same eyes she’d gazed into the day he’d told her he didn’t care enough to stick it out.
“One that doesn’t include you going off-grid. ”
She jumped to her feet, marched across the room, and poked him in the chest. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, and neither does McGuire.” Well, shit. This wasn’t going as she planned. All she wanted was to get his help with her brother to see things her way, and then she wanted to seduce Patch.
That just flew out the window.
He curled his fingers around her wrist. “Don’t make me lie to McGuire. I can’t do that again.”
“I’m not asking you to lie.” She leaned into his strong frame. “Just make him see that—”
“No. I agree with McGuire on this one. Living on the fringe… like this…” He waved his hand. “It’s no place for you.”
“Oh, but it’s a good way for you to live.” She pressed her hand against his chest. “Is your heart even beating inside there? Do you feel anything anymore? Or are you just dead inside?”
He huffed out a breath through his nose, glaring at her with hurt, anger, and something… something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on, flicking in his dark eyes. His chest heaved up and down with each raspy breath. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t freaking move. He just stood there, staring.
And then he did what she least expected.
He grabbed her around the waist, crushing her against his hard body, slamming his mouth against hers, forcing his tongue between her lips. It was raw. It was honest. And she melted in his arms.
His kiss was an onslaught, a desperate show of desire. As their bodies pressed together, she could feel the heat radiating off him, revealing a need that rivaled her own. She responded eagerly, her fingers digging into the muscled contours of his back.
“Do I feel anything?” he asked, breaking away momentarily, his voice breathless.
His gaze locked on hers. It wasn’t filled with anger or hurt now.
Instead, raw passion danced in the oceans of his eyes, pulling her deeper.
“Of course I feel. I’m not dead and I can’t fucking think straight when you’re around.
” His hands, rough from years of grueling missions, yet tender in touch, roamed her body.
His fingers traced the outline of her waist and moved farther up, cupping her face gently.
Her heart pounded like a drum in her chest as he ran his thumb along her cheekbone, tracing her jawline before diving into another fierce kiss.
As his lips pressed against hers, she wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him closer.
He tasted so familiar—a mix of tequila and the distinct flavor that was purely Patch.
Their tongues danced harmoniously as all the pent-up emotions of five long years bubbled to the surface, making their bodies yearn for one another's touch.
His strong hands gently tugged at her T-shirt, discarding it to the side. Her heart fluttered as one hand brushed up the curve of her spine and tortured her tight nipple.
Patch pulled back only slightly, his eyes roaming over the bare skin he’d just revealed. Savvy could feel herself blushing under his intense gaze. There was admiration and an unfiltered desire that made her body respond in kind.
With a swift, fluid motion, he lifted her onto the bar, the smooth wood cold against her bare thighs. Balancing on one elbow, he reached for her glass of tequila and held it to her lips. Savvy took a gulp, the liquor burning a trail down her throat and igniting an even more furious fire.
“Take another sip, but don’t swallow. Feed it to me,” he whispered as he brought the glass to her lips one more time.
She filled her mouth and he kissed her good and hard.
“That was tasty,” he murmured with a grin. As he set the glass down with a determined clink, his brown eyes burned into hers. He ran his hands along her legs, causing her to shiver. The anticipation built as their breaths quickened in the silence of the swamp night.
He kissed her playfully. He’d always been good at teasing her, and she relished in it.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as her other hand explored the firm muscles of his torso and abdomen.
She could feel his heart pounding, proving he was alive beneath the battle-hardened exterior.
His kiss deepened, growing hungrier, as if he had been starved for years and was only now getting to feast on her.
They broke away for air only when absolutely necessary, gasping in between kisses.
His touch left a trail of heat wherever it wandered—skimming over her collarbones, trailing down to her waistline, but never farther, even when she wiggled, encouraging him to do so.
He kissed her neck, whispering words she couldn’t quite catch but understood nevertheless.
This was real. This was Patch and she’d missed him more than she’d ever allowed herself to admit.
His fingers danced around the edge of her underwear before he tugged them off her.
She lifted herself up slightly to assist him in discarding the last piece of clothing that separated them.
He stepped back to look at her then—naked and vulnerable under his gaze.
There was no judgment in his eyes, no hesitation.
Just pure lust and admiration shining through.
He lifted her legs over his shoulders, licked his lips, and traced a path with his tongue from the inside of her thigh right up to her… “Oh God.” She dropped her head back, curling her fingers into his long hair.
“Your turn to feel… something.” He flicked his tongue out, barely touching her at all, but it didn’t take much for her to feel everything.
She stared down at his head between her legs, lapping at her like she meant the world and giving her all the pleasure her body demanded.
His one hand pressed firmly against her stomach, while the other reached up, plucking and toying with her nipple.
Gripping the side of the bar, she worried she might break the damn thing as she rolled her hips against his mouth, her climax so close.
“Oh God, yes…” It started at her toes and worked its way up through her system like a bolt of lightning.
A glass fell to the floor but thankfully didn’t shatter like her orgasm had.
He kissed her belly, moving his way up her body to her lips. She loved the way she tasted on his tongue.
His boxers were next to meet the floor and there was nothing separating them anymore except the tension-filled air around them. Savvy pulled him closer by the nape of his neck, while her legs wrapped around his waist invitingly.
Patch’s hand found her center and teased her slowly, making her moan into their kiss. Her hips sawed against his hand as he took his time exploring her thoroughly with his fingers first before he plunged into her with an urgency unmatched.
She could feel every ridge of him as he filled her completely—an exquisite mix of pain and pleasure coursing through her veins simultaneously.
Their rhythm was slow at first as they moved against one another—still shocked and dazed by the raw passion that had been rekindled between them after years of separation.
Patch watched her through half-lidded eyes, his gaze fixated on her face as he moved with firm, purposeful strokes. This was not a conquest or an act of dominance. Rather, it was two bodies reacquainting themselves after years apart, basking in the familiar feel of each other.
Their shared climax was a crescendo of release—waves of pleasure washing over them. Savvy clung to him, digging her nails into his broad back as she rode out the tide, Patch following suit shortly after, dropping his forehead to her shoulder, shuddering a heavy sigh.
A long moment passed as they both sucked in a few deep breaths.
She fingered his thick, wavy hair as her pulse lessened and reality came into view. Being with him was the easy part.
Letting go always sucked.
“I couldn’t even be decent enough to carry you to a comfortable bed,” he whispered.
She chuckled. “We always did have that problem.”
He gripped her thighs, standing tall, and with little to no effort, he made his way into the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed, tucking her under the sheets.
“You’re not going back out to that sofa.” She tilted her head.
“I suppose that would be stupid after that.” He pushed her to the other side of the bed.
“Hey. What the hell?”
“If we’re going to sleep together, I get the left side. I always take the left side.”
“Whatever.” She snuggled into his body, resting her head on his chest.
He wrapped his arm around her, kissing her temple. “Your brother’s gonna kill me.”
“Just the kind of after-sex talk a girl wants.” She glanced up.
“I promised him this wouldn’t happen.”
“It’s none of his damn business.”
“You’re his family. Of course it’s his business.
” He ran his fingers through his hair. “But that’s not the point.
I can’t lie to him about this again. My job is to protect you and keep you alive.
Not take you to bed. But I knew the second I saw you running out of those bushes in South America that might be a problem. ”
“Wonderful. Me getting shot at is a turn-on for you.”
He burst out laughing.
“I don’t see why that’s so funny.”
“It’s just how you phrased it, and it’s not true. At least not you getting shot at,” he said. “I stayed away from you for five years because I knew if I ever saw you again, this would happen, and I can’t be the man you want or need.”
“I don’t need you to be anything but you, Patch. That’s what you’ve always failed to understand.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed.
“I care about you. We both know that. But you want things I’m not capable of.
I tried. I really did, and I hate myself for leading you on for five years.
I won’t do it again. Maybe I’m an asshole for sleeping with you tonight, but at least I’m being honest that it can’t be anything other than sex.
I’m sorry, Savvy. I’m too broken and you have a life to go back to. ”
She wasn’t about to argue with him tonight. Not about this. Not when there were too many unknowns.
And too many things she hadn’t told him.
Not to mention the things she knew about him… and that damn mission that he’d believed broke him. Well, Patch wasn’t as broken as he thought he was. Wounded, sure. Lost, maybe. But broken? No. All he needed was someone to guide him back out of the war zone he’d landed in.
But right now, she couldn’t be that girl.
The really shitty part was she wasn’t sure if she could ever be now.
“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “For now, I’m letting it go because I don’t know what’s ahead of me, and until I do, I’m not sure what kind of a future I’ll have.”
“We could talk in this circle all night.” He rolled her to the side, tucking himself up behind her. “Get some sleep.”
“Good night, Patch.” Besides making love, the one thing they’d always been good at had been telling each other just how bad they were for each other.
Only, she knew she’d made a mistake. She’d known that for the last five years, and she’d been too much of a coward to fight for the only man she’d ever loved.
She still was.