Chapter 19
I stood up. "You want me to unroll it?"
The covered wagon was narrow and cramped, but it had high ceilings, and I didn't hesitate to stand up in it. I could see the canvas he was talking about. It was a rolled-up piece of the same off-white material that was covering the wagon.
I inspected the ties as I approached it. It was fastened on each side with a thin strip of the same material. I reached up to touch the strip of supporting material on the left side, feeling for a knot or button—something I could un-attach.
I gave up on the left side and reached out for the strap on the right, hoping for a clue on that one.
Alex came to stand behind me, and I moved to get out of his way.
But he caught me before I could go anywhere.
He shifted me back into place, my back to his chest. He put his hand on the front of my waist, and I put my hand over his, holding it there and appreciating how it burned my skin.
There was fabric between his hand and my stomach, and my skin was still on fire.
He was all around me now. His arms fit around mine.
He pulled me closer, and I gently leaned into his embrace, pressing myself lightly against his chest. I was out of my head with desire and attraction for this man.
I had never felt like this about anyone.
He was like a brick wall behind me, around me—a warm brick wall.
It was the most secure, amazing feeling I ever had.
I forgot, for a second, that we were supposed to be finding a way to loosen the strap.
I nudged my hand toward the canvas again, and he followed me with his hand.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to do it," he said. "There's a trick."
He took my fingers in his, easily finding the back of the strap.
I had no idea what he was doing with my hand, and I didn't care.
I just went to him, letting him lead me, staying in his grasp.
I felt a little force on my fingers as he gently used my fingertips to peel back the back side of the strap.
I smiled as it popped open and the right side began to roll down. I pulled back and looked up at him.
"Is it a magnet?"
"Yes."
He switched hands, holding me securely in place with a hand on my waist as he reached out with his left hand to open and lower the other side.
Alex guided the canvas down expertly, and then he held onto me again, his arms encircling me.
I leaned against his warm chest, feeling the skin of his neck and chin on my forehead.
He was the one with the vision for all this, and I respected him so much for that.
I was drawn to him, attracted to him on so many levels.
He even smelled nice. Even after a long day of work, he smelled nice.
We were alone in the wagon now with the door drawn closed.
He could kiss me, and no one would see us. My heart wanted that.
I felt the urge to turn around and take matters into my own hands, and I resisted when I remembered something. "Alex?"
"Yes?"
"I know you've probably been with other women lately, but I'm just making sure… I never did clarify that you weren't actively with someone—you know, back home in California. Is there someone waiting for you right now?"
He was quiet for a long second. "You don't think I would do that to you… and someone else. You know I wouldn't. If you thought I would do that, you wouldn’t be here."
"You're right. I've just never explicitly asked you."
"Oh, you haven't?" he asked, inching his hands a little tighter around my waist.
"No, and I want to make sure."
"I'm not seeing anyone, Josie," he said. He moved his hand, running his fingertips over my arm, onto my wrist and the back of my hand. His touch gave me this aching desire that made me feel heavy. "Come sit right here so this light doesn't make us shadow puppets," he said.
Alex sat on a nearby ledge and pulled me onto his lap. There was a box between us and the light now, and I grinned at him.
"Do you want to know the name of the last woman I kissed?" he asked quietly.
"Well, with you asking the question like that… I hope I know the answer."
"Who do you think it is?"
"I wasn't even going to ask, but now that you're offering to tell me, I hope it's Josie Wells."
"Yep. It was a waitress. She was cleaning menus, and then she came up to me and ate my burger."
"I think that was me," I said. "Back in the day."
I was sitting on his leg, and I regarded his perfect face, marveling at the way he looked and hoping he would kiss me.
"That was you back in the day?" he said, staring back at me with those amber eyes. They were absolutely haunting in the shadows.
"Was I really the last one you ever kissed?" I glanced downward, hoping and praying he would agree.
"Yes."
"How?"
I felt him shrug. "I've been pretty busy."
I squirmed a little. "That's wonderful. I'm happy you were busy."
Alex reached up and touched my chin to get me to look at him. Our faces were in close proximity because of the way I was sitting on his lap. I focused on him.
"And it's not just that I'm busy, Josie. I didn't want to be with anyone else. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't run into you. I guess maybe I would have had time to think about it after the series was done. Who knows. I don't even want to think about it."
He wrapped his arms around me in a comfortable, protective way, holding me on his lap.
"Come here, I'll tell you something," he said. I turned and let him speak near my ear. "I don't want anyone else," he said quietly. "And it would be great if you didn't either."
I leaned in to whisper back to him. "How could I when no one compares?"
I wasn't trying to be romantic. It was a true, logical question on my end because no one else could possibly compare to him.
If he wanted me, I was his. My face was gently touching his when I said it.
I had been speaking softly near his ear.
There was just no way we could be in this proximity, in this situation, and not have it lead to kissing.
I wasn't even sure who started it, who kissed who first. We had just said we didn't want anyone else, and then we started kissing.
It was gentle, at first. I don't know for how long it was gentle.
I don't even know how long we were there.
Alex kissed me deeply in that wagon, though.
He kissed me so hard and so good that at one point, I paused and broke away, catching my breath and smiling at him.
He apologized, and I told him not to. And then we were kissing again.
My body was buzzing. It was on fire and full of electricity, and I was a big buzzing ball of putty in his hands.
Alex controlled the kiss, and he was good at it.
I felt him in new ways. He was possessive, and he wanted me physically, but he was a gentleman, and he kept his desire harnessed.
That only fed my desire. I was thankful that I could trust him to kiss me to the brink of losing my mind and also know when to stop.
I was thankful he had the skills and self-control to make me feel like that.
I let out a little whimper when he pulled away, and that caused him to groan and turn to the side as if to tear himself away.
"We'd better go," he said reluctantly. "I'm about to get us both in trouble in here."
"I know, me too," I said.
I stood, stepping out of the way. Alex stepped around me and rolled up the canvas like it was something he had done before.
I was staring at the empty field behind the wagon, and suddenly I saw my sister. She turned, looking into the wagon, and then jumped back, making a surprised expression.
"Oh, cool," she said, peering inside. "I didn't know which one you were in. Hey, Cameron came back for one last pick-up. I wanted to let you know. The rest of us are about to ride back. I know you said you were walking, but it's been a while, so I thought—"
"We'll take a ride if she has room," Alex said.
"I'm sure we'll make room for the director," my sister said in an impressed tone. She was impressed because he was impressive. He had a certain charm that made people want to follow him.
"Yeah, it's late. We're coming," he said.
He turned off the light, and then we both climbed out of the wagon.
"Thank you for telling us," he said to my sister as we started to head toward the campfire.
"Thanks for having us," Audrey said.
"Everybody's excited about breakfast."
"I know, they were talking about it. I'm glad about making connections out here because all this makes me want to be an actress, too. I think I could do it."
"You should," Alex said to her. "A lot of the actors we have out here are part of a theater group in Missoula."
"Yeah, I was already talking to James and Nick. I've never even thought about theater, but we'll see."
"I'll have one more scene in Darby that I'll need you guys for," Alex said. "That'll happen in a few weeks."
"I'd love to," Audrey said. She was excited to the point of being star-struck.
I smiled at him after my sister agreed so quickly, and he grabbed my hand and held onto it. We were holding hands as we approached the golf cart. People saw us, and they noticed, and Alex was just so natural and confident that it wasn't even a thing.
He got in before me and pulled me halfway onto his lap when I sat down. There were seven of us riding, so it was cramped, and it looked normal for us to be so close. All I could say about that was thank goodness. Being next to Alex was, quite honestly, the best place in the whole world.