Chapter 5
I texted Ash back and told him fifteen minutes would work great. I turned off the burner, left the food where it was, and took off jogging through the kitchen, living room, and into my bedroom.
Quickly, I changed clothes. I still wore comfortable pants and a t-shirt, but I made myself more presentable, making sure I applied a second layer of deodorant and checked my teeth, nose, and hair.
I made quick work of freshening up, and I gave myself a thorough once over before running back into the living room, where I stashed a few items that were strewn about.
Then I made my way back to the kitchen, where I put away a few dishes, wiped the counters and sink, and then washed my hands before going back to the stove.
So many thoughts flooded my mind, but mostly I was excited to see Ash again.
I felt overjoyed by the fact that he was coming over to my house.
We had spent a fair amount of time together last summer, but it was always on set at the ranch.
He had never come to my house. I had never even seen him in Billings—not until the other night at the Italian restaurant.
I never dreamed he would casually invite himself over when I texted him today.
I tried to tell myself not to be nervous.
I went back to work on the food, going to my default comfort zone, which was standing at a stove.
I had bought Luna some fresh raspberries because they were her favorite.
I wasn't planning on using them in my meal, but I had to boost it up once I knew I was cooking for two.
I took care frying the toast, and by the time he knocked on my door, I had two beautiful plates with raspberries, whipped cream, and a dusting of powdered sugar.
There was bacon as well. The plates looked like they took way more effort than they did, and I said as much when I opened the door.
"Hey, perfect timing, I just made plates, and they're prettier than I meant them to be." I opened my door, standing back and gesturing for him to come inside.
"What's that mean? Oh, snap, Audrey, it smells so good in here. What in the world did you cook?"
He was being casual, but seeing him come through my door gave me all sorts of fluttering feelings in my body.
He was dressed in work clothes, jeans, and lace-up boots with a canvas jacket.
He had no doubt been working. His long hair was pulled back into a glorious messy knot on the back of his head.
He was utterly masculine in his work clothes, and yet I had seen him sit down and sing and play guitar with such grace and tenderness.
I knew he had a delicate touch when he wanted to, and I got carried away in the memories of being with him back at the ranch.
I had felt his hands on my skin, and I felt flush and overwhelmed when I remembered the way he had—
"Our plates are right over here," I said, snapping out of it and looking away from him.
"I love your place," he said, bending down to take off his boots.
He unlaced and loosened them before slipping them off and leaving them by the door.
He shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it onto my hall tree like he had been to my house a hundred times.
My heart was pounding. The sight of Ash with all his perfect masculine energy filling my entryway caused my heart to feel all sorts of things.
I went into the kitchen, where I had our places set at my bar.
"How about to drink?" I said, not looking at him. When I did glance at him, I noticed that he was sitting at my plate.
"Switch spots because that one has more."
"I'll gladly take the one with more," he said, standing up, "But I'm going to wash my hands first, if you don't mind. Should I go to the restroom?"
"Do you need to?" I asked, glancing at him.
He grinned at me, that heart-stopping white-toothed grin of his that got me in so much trouble every time. I looked at his eyes instead, and that was no help. He had striking blue eyes that were even more distracting than his smile.
"No, I don't need to," he said. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to use the bathroom sink to wash my hands or if this one was okay."
"No, we wash our hands out here all the time. There are a few dishes in the sink. Just flip the nozzle to the other side."
He went to my sink while I made our drinks and set them in front of us.
It felt so odd having Ash in my house. I sat at the bar and started eating without waiting for him.
I had a small container of maple syrup on the counter between us, but I didn't use it on my toast. I cut into the corner of a slice and ate a bite, along with a raspberry.
"No syrup?" he asked, sitting next to me. He poured a little of it onto his.
"Not for me, but it'll be tasty on there, that's why I put it out for you."
"Are you sure?" he asked, hovering it over my plate.
I grinned. "Okay, fine, a little, on one side."
He hesitated. "Don't let me talk you into something you don’t want."
"I want it," I said. "I want a little."
Ash poured mine and then a bit more onto his. "Hey, congratulations on the play," he said. He took a bite and then, as he chewed, he added, "Oh, my goodness, Audrey, this is so good. Thank you for this."
I had some nice thick-cut bacon in the fridge that I brought home from the restaurant.
I reheated it and served it with our French toast. Like the raspberries, the bacon was added after I heard he was coming.
I smiled when Ash took a piece of it, dipped it into a bit of syrup, and ate the whole piece in one bite.
For goodness sake, how did watching a man eat bacon give me these kinds of feelings?
I concentrated on my own food, doing my best not to be distracted by Ash.
"So, tell me all about it," he said, continuing to eat.
"About what?"
"The play, of course. How was the audition? It must've gone well. You got a role."
"Yes, I did. I can't believe it. I just found out this morning. James called when I was on my way to take Luna to school."
"Is that where she is right now?" he said, looking around.
"Yeah, she's there till two-thirty."
"This is a great house for her."
"Thank you," I said.
I almost added that my ex-in-laws helped me afford it, but I didn't. I just ate.
"What's the play about? What's your role? I know you told me it was in February, right?"
I nodded. "I'm in the coolest scene," I said. "We're all women in prison, and the whole point of the song is to say what we did to end up in there."
"And what did you do?" he asked.
"Killed somebody," I said.
"Whoa," he said, backing up a little.
I laughed. "We all did," I said. "We all killed the guys we were with at the time. It's a whole song about how 'he had it comin'. Except for one of us. One girl declares in the song that she's not guilty."
"Not you, though?"
"No, my character's guilty," I said. "She straight up admits it. I think it's really the only scene I'm in," I said. "But it's a cool scene. James said I'll probably have other responsibilities."
"Is James doing the show?"
"Oh, yeah. He's amazing. He's playing Billy Flynn."
"Is that impressive?" he asked, taking another big bite of food. I watched him do it, thinking that Billy Flynn wasn't impressive at all.
"Yes," I said, trying my best to be normal and not to get distracted. "It's the role he was hoping for. It's the biggest male role in the show."
"And what about you? Is this the role you were hoping for?"
"More, actually. I feel good about it, and I'm happy, but I would have been fine with a lesser role. I'm excited to do it, though. I feel happy that Collin chose me."
"Who's Collin?"
"He's the director."
Ash asked me more questions about the play while we ate.
I knew he was in the middle of remodeling a house to sell, and I asked him how that was going.
Ash's food was gone before mine, and he told me about his house while I finished eating.
Before I knew it, over an hour had passed, and we were both sitting there with empty plates.
I took our dishes to the sink, and I stood there feeling hyperaware that he was looking at me.
I straightened my posture and tried to look as presentable as possible from behind.
Ash got up and came over to where I was standing as I rinsed the dishes.
"What can I do to help?" he asked again, even though I had told him I had it under control.
"Nothing, I'm leaving them. I'll do these in a minute." I finished rinsing them and left them neatly stacked in one side of the sink. I washed my hands using the other side.
"My brother asked me for your number," he said as I was finishing.
I glanced at him with a disbelieving expression that morphed into a smile. "You mean before I told him about my daughter?"
"No, he called me later—a few days after we saw you at the restaurant."
"Oh, come on, I saw how white he turned," I said, still smiling and being lighthearted.
He shook his head. "I guess he had time to think about it."
There was a pause, and then I said, "What did you tell him?"
He glanced at me. His blue eyes met mine, and I wanted to melt. He was an absolute heartthrob. "I told him 'no'," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Because you know he'd just play around with me?" I asked.
He paused, still staring at me with those scorching eyes. I was burning up.
"No, Audrey, I just told him he's not having you. Not that I get to say who… but… no. It's just a 'no' for my brother. I'm sorry."
"Is it because you and I had a thing that one time?"
I didn't care about his brother.
I was just asking to flirt with Ash.
He knew what I was doing. He reached out and slowly touched my arm, then he took a step, and the next thing I knew, he was behind me, touching me lightly with his hands on my arms.
I turned around to face him, staring up at him like I was about to ask him what he was doing so close, but he didn't step back.
I didn't want him to. We were chest to chest… not touching, but close. We did make contact where his hands were touching my arms, and it was so wonderful and comfortable that I just couldn’t make myself pull away.
Ash Adams was a lover, and he was good at it.
He was barely touching me, and I was on fire already.
Ash and I had been close before, and it was easy and natural to go to him, lean into his touch, accept his advances.
He raised his hand and placed it gently on the back of my head.
I let my cheek brush against his arm, and just like that, we were back to our old tricks—gazing, moving closer.
Ash was brilliant. He was gentle and soft, but raw masculinity and urgency radiated off of him.
He was just an irresistible man. I melted under his affections.
It was as if he was a regular person with body heat, and I was made of wax and melting slightly as a result of being next to him.
My heart fluttered. Being near Ash again was a rush, and excitement coursed through my body as I held onto his arm and let my cheek brush against it again.
He smelled so nice, and I closed my eyes and felt the sensations of being near him.
"Audrey," he said my name in a calm tone.
His voice was deep and soft. I looked up to meet his gaze, and when I did, he leaned down and kissed me.
He touched his mouth to mine, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
There was no way I would stop it. I stretched upward and kissed him back.
Our lips tasted like the hint of raspberries and syrup, and the feel of Ash's mouth on mine was so familiar and right that I felt broken beneath him.
I was cracked wide open and incapable of closing myself off to him.
Ash held me and kissed me gently in a second-nature way that made it feel like we had been doing this every day since last summer.
His lips touched mine again and again, and I felt the urgency begin to build.
I gave into it. I went to him, leaning in and giving him permission to kiss me like we had before.
And goodness. The warm wave of wonderful that washed over me in that moment caused me to completely lose myself.
For a few long heartbeats, we kissed deeply, and my mind could process nothing else.
Ash held me and consumed me with his kiss.
I wasn't aware of how long it was exactly, but it wasn't long enough.
Ash broke the kiss and pulled back, and I did my best to catch my breath.
The wave had been intense, and it took me a second to come down.
I spun around and turned on the faucet, and he took a step to the side, leaning casually against my counter and dipping his head to stare at me, trying to get my attention.
"You okay?" he asked when I didn’t glance that way. "Should I apologize?"
Shaking my head, I said, "No, no." I wanted to say more, but my voice was cracking, and I paused and cleared my throat.
"I'm glad you came over. That was fun. I'll be getting Luna soon and everything.
But if you wanted me to send you the link to tickets when they're available, I will.
I know we talked about me trying to see you play some music, but with Luna, it's hard for me to get out at that time of night…
" I was rambling and making excuses when they weren't necessary.
I was trying not to be awkward, and I was failing.
"Yeah, of course," he said. "And please do let me know about the play."
"I will," I said, glancing at him and smiling.
"Audrey, I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I said, wearing a sincere expression and shaking my head. "I mean it. I wanted that. I'm sorry I'm… I just know where my weaknesses lie, and I have to set certain boundaries for myself."
"I'm sorry I crossed them."
I locked eyes with him, and his blue eyes just pierced right through me.
I remained stoic, unblinking. "Don't be sorry, Ash.
Please. I wanted that, and I'm not sorry it happened," I said sincerely.
"It's just that, since it's not going any further, we should just make this part of it easy.
I'm sorry I rambled, but I probably shouldn't go see any of your gigs or anything. I'll have Luna, and the play."
"Can I still come see it?"
"Oh, of course. You could actually see it, and I wouldn't even know. I think the auditorium holds like a thousand people."
"Well, please don't forget to send me a link for tickets."
"I will," I said, nodding. I turned off the water and turned to smile at him with a little wave.
"Bye, Audrey," he said, seeing me.
He went to the door to get his boots and coat, and I followed him that way to see him out.