Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
DEREK
T he sound of Danny's door slamming still echoes in my ears as I stand in the kitchen, gripping the counter edge.Even Scout abandoned me for her, the traitor.Can't blame him, though. I'd follow her too if I could.
I run a hand through my hair, trying to focus on anything else as familiar fantasies of what life with Danny could’ve been assault my mind. Of what it would be like to truly be happy again. To get back those precious moments when she'd catch me watching her thinking how lucky I was to have her in my life and smile, that soft, secret smile meant only for me. The thought hits like a physical ache, just like that awful week after I'd first moved to New York, when the excitement of my new office couldn't drown out how wrong it felt not having her there. By the time I'd realized my mistake and raced back to Serenity with transfer papers and promises, she was gone. I can still taste the regret of waiting too long to admit that loving her felt like the only thing I'd ever done right.
Christ. This is not helping.
I busy myself putting away my coffee mug, trying to focus on anything except the way she still smells like lavender and paint.The coffee grounds I measured out were the same brand she'd always bought for our Sunday morning studio sessions. Four years of success, and I still couldn't drink a cup without remembering how she used to perch on her stool, sketching my profile while telling me her dreams. Dreams I'd been too young and stupid to realize were worth just as much or more than any corner office.
A timer dings, cutting through my brooding.The sugar cookies I stress-baked earlier are done.
I pull them from the oven, the scent of vanilla and butter filling the kitchen.Back in college, Danny could burn water, but she'd always perch on the counter while I cooked, stealing bites and leaving floury handprints on my shirts...
A door creaks open down the hall.My pulse quickens as soft footsteps approach, accompanied by the click of Scout's nails on hardwood.
"Scout needed water," Danny says stiffly, not meeting my eyes.She's showered and changed into loose paint-splattered sweatpants and an oversized sweater that slips off one shoulder.The casual outfit shouldn't be sexy.It absolutely is.
"Kitchen's still in the same place." I lean against the counter, trying for casual despite how my heart races."Unless you forgot where everything is in your rush to escape to Utah."
Her eyes snap to mine, fire blazing."Really? You want to talk about escaping?That's rich coming from the man who couldn't get to New York fast enough."
"Danny--"
"No." She fills Scout's water bowl with sharp, angry movements."You don't get to 'Danny' me with that voice.Not anymore."
"What voice?"
"The one that makes it sound like you actually give a damn."
Scout settles between us, pressing against Danny's legs while eyeing my cookies hopefully.The Christmas lights I strung up earlier cast soft colors across Danny's face, highlighting the hurt I put there years ago.
"I always gave a damn." The words slip out before I can stop them. "There hasn't been a single day I haven't thought about you. I even..." I let out a shaky breath. "I used to call your old number just to hear your voicemail, pretend for a moment you were still in my life somehow."
She freezes, water overflowing Scout's bowl. "You don't have to lie to me, Derek. I'm a big girl. I understand you have a new life now."
"I don't though. Not really." I move closer, needing her to understand. "It took exactly one week in that corner office to realize life wasn't worth living without you. That's why I came back."
"What?" Her voice catches.
A nervous laugh escapes me. "Corny, I know. But I flew back to Serenity a month after I left. You'd blocked me on everything, and Jasmine made it clear you didn't want her sharing your new contact info. But I was sure if I could just talk to you, look into your eyes..." My voice roughens. "I could make you see how truly sorry I was."
"Derek—" Her eyes shine with unshed tears.
"Your dreams were never too small, Danny." I step closer, close enough to feel her shaky exhale. "They were just different from mine. And I was too stupid to realize that my dreams weren’t the only ones that mattered."
She turns to face me fully, and the hurt and want warring in her eyes steals my breath. "Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because I've spent four years regretting that I didn't fight harder for us." My hand cups her cheek, and she leans into the touch like she can't help herself. "And I refuse to make the same mistake twice."
For a moment, time stills. She has that same fierce look she wore the day she told off my boss for calling art 'just a hobby'. That fearless spirit that made me fall for her in the first place, the same one that taught me dreams were worth fighting for. Her eyes flick to my mouth, and our heads inch closer and closer until Scout bumps her leg, breaking thespell.
"I should go back to my room." She turns away, Scout faithfully at herheels.
"Stay." The word comes out rougher thanintended."Help me decorate the tree, atleast.For Christmas' sake."
She pauses in the doorway, one hand buried in Scout'sfur."Why?"
Because I've missed you. Because you still take my breathaway.Because maybe we both mademistakes.
"Because," I say instead, "your aunt will kill us both if we don't at least try to fulfill her Christmas matchmakingscheme."
A ghost of a smile crosses herlips."Fine. But only because I don't trust your Wall Street taste in treedecorating."
It's not much, but it's astart.And right now, watching her reach for the ornament box with that familiar determined set to her jaw with Scout wagging his tail between us, I'll take what I canget.
Even if it means spending Christmas trapped in a cabin with the only woman who's ever made me question whether I made the rightchoice.