Chapter 7
While I didn’t hear from Audrey for a few days, Jax supplied every minute detail of his visit to her clinic. Not only that, but he continues to give me his thoughts to this day.
Jax
Did I tell you how well she got along with Becca?
Me
Yep.
At least half a dozen times.
Jax
Nah. Couldn’t be that many.
Me
I don’t delete texts, man. I can go back and count if you’d like.
Jax
That’s okay. Let’s move on.
I snort as I buckle my seatbelt. It’s been a long five days in New York City, and I’m anxious to get back home. Brand deals are a necessary evil in professional sports, and while they definitely pad my bank account, it’s a tremendous amount of peopling for my neurodiverse brain.
Jax
Audrey suggested we name our next dog Nimbus.
Me
Like the cloud?
Jax
Yeah.
Me
You should get one of those big white malamutes or something. Then it would actually look like a cloud.
Jax
Holy shit, that’s a fantastic idea.
Disregard. Becca is not on board with the floofy cloud idea.
Me
Floofy cloud.
Jax
A floofy cloud dog is a better way of describing a white ball of fur than calling it a cotton ball. Both are accurate, but one is more appealing.
Me
We’ve been friends for too long, because I’m starting to understand the way your mind works.
Jax
Only uphill from here, my boy.
Laughing, I close out of his text exchange to open the one I had with Audrey before I left.
I’m tempted to text her. Ask how she is, and if the guinea pigs are doing well.
What her word for the day is today. If she’s had any brilliant ideas for the charity event that could possibly replace a bachelor auction.
Shit, I don’t think I even told her that was the main idea the board was behind. I hate all of this.
“Mr. Wahlberg, we’ll be taking off shortly.
Would you like a drink?” Allison, the only flight attendant on this private jet, asks me sweetly.
She leans in just enough so I can see partially down her blouse.
I’m sure for most flights, she has each button secured perfectly.
But for me, she’s giving a very clear indication of what services she’s willing to provide.
I may miss a lot of social cues, but even I don’t miss this one.
“No, I’m fine, Allison. Thank you.” I grab a paperback I’ve been slowly reading through, effectively dismissing her.
The saying ‘don’t shit where you eat’ comes into play here.
Since I use the same company to charter jets when I need them, I’d undoubtedly have awkward run-ins with Allison after sleeping with her.
Since I have no desire to attempt a relationship with her, no sex is worth months — or years — of discomfort.
Which is precisely why I shouldn’t be thinking about Audrey in any capacity other than an acquaintance.
A peer I’ll be coordinating an event with.
So what if she seems to understand a lot of my idiosyncrasies?
Could be just a coincidence. She doesn’t know me.
I don’t know her. The weird pull I feel towards her is just that. Weird.
Reclining my seat, I let my eyes flutter closed.
It’s an over four hour flight from New York City to Denver, and I know if I look like I’m asleep, Allison will leave me alone.
Typically, my mind whirls, forcing me to complete a series of steps to empty my brain and relax my body.
But the last four days have been nonstop, and I’m exhausted.
My mind wanders to more personal thoughts of Audrey.
I wonder if she has trouble falling asleep, or if she’s one of the lucky ones that goes unconscious as soon as their head hits their pillow.
Does she let her hair down, or is it up in that bun?
Would she let me hold her to fall asleep?
I wonder what her hair smells like, and if she makes cute little noises while sleeping.
And that’s how I fall asleep: dreaming about a woman I barely know, and one I probably won’t ever get an opportunity to have.
Another week goes by with no word from Audrey.
I’ll admit, I’m struggling hard. I can’t decide if I should reach out to her again.
Google was no help on the matter, and basically told me to ‘match her energy,’ but I don’t know what the hell that means!
I found forums that revolve around dating rules, and everything contradicted each other.
The man should do all of the wooing. It should be even between the pair.
The woman controls the conversations. Contact the woman the day after meeting.
Three days. One week. Don’t appear too interested.
Show her minor interest. Suffocate her with love immediately.
I’m analytical to a fault. I like knowing the steps of things. A plus B equals C. Black and white. Dating is so deep into the gray that I don’t know how to move forward.
Jesus Christ. I’m not dating the girl.
I need to get that through my thick skull. I only need to contact her about the event.
Mind made up, I fire off a semi-professional text and hope for the best.
Me
Hello, Audrey. I hope you’re doing well. I’d like to schedule a time we can meet to discuss the event. I have some new marketing images I can share with you, and tell you about what the board wants to do. This week, I’m available any evening.
I’m surprised when I see the dots immediately moving, telling me Audrey is responding.
Audrey
Hello, Jamie. I wondered when I’d hear from you again. Is there any chance you could come to my home to meet? My dog just had surgery, and I don’t want to leave her alone in the evenings.
Me
Of course. May I ask what she had surgery for?
Audrey
She was hit by a car a few years ago before I adopted her. Her spinal cord was severely damaged, paralyzing her. Surgery today was a follow-up to reduce pressure.
Me
Wow. You have a paralyzed dog.
Audrey
Yes. And five guinea pigs.
Me
Now I really want to come to your house, just to experience the zoo.
Audrey
It feels like that sometimes, especially when Flash gets the zoomies.
Me
Flash? Like Flash, Flash, hundred yard dash? From Zootopia?
Audrey
Yup!
Me
That is absolutely amazing. I can’t wait to meet her.
Audrey
She’s pretty opinionated, so don’t take it personally if she doesn’t like you. Corgis are notorious for being brats.
Me
I’ll keep that in mind. Is tonight okay? Are you alright if I bring dinner?
Audrey
As long as I can reimburse you for half.
Me
That’s fine. Any allergies or foods you won’t eat?
Audrey
No allergies. I don’t like to eat much with my hands, and slimy food freaks me out.
Me
One time I had natto, which is fermented soybeans. I was unprepared for how slimy, yet sticky, it would be, and I immediately threw up, so I’m with you on the slimy food thing. Chinese food okay?
Audrey
I’m going to ignore the comment about natto, because I actually like that dish. But my favorite Chinese dish is beef and broccoli.
Me
Mine too! And I’m ignoring your comment about liking natto.
A few hours later, I’m in front of Audrey’s small townhome, which is only about twenty minutes from my house. Over three million people in this city, and we’re this close to each other. It makes me wonder if I’ve ever seen her before. I have to think I’d have looked twice if I had.
I can’t help but notice the massive disparity between our neighborhoods.
Mine is full of palatial estates, with tons of space between each home.
I haven’t even met one of my neighbors. Audrey’s neighborhood is quaint, but old.
Large trees line the quiet road, still bare from the winter, but I imagine how beautiful the street must look in the summer and fall.
I pass a young family pushing a stroller, and a gentleman walking his large Labrador retriever.
I bet Audrey knows many of her neighbors, and is probably well-versed in the gossip of the neighborhood.
I snag a parking spot right in front of her house, noting the fun wreath on the door that includes figurines of a variety of animals.
The center one is a dachshund holding a four-leaf clover, obviously for Saint Patrick’s Day.
Undoubtedly Audrey has figures for every holiday of the year, which I find completely adorable.
As I step out of my Maybach SUV, I realize how out of place I look.
Not only is my car at least double the price of every car around, but it didn’t occur to me to clean myself up at all after my workout today.
I’ve arrived in a worn Colorado Coyotes long-sleeve shirt, a backwards cap to cover the hair that is badly in need of a trim, and mesh joggers.
Not exactly the greatest way to make an impression.
I wonder if Audrey’s hair is down. I’m desperate to see it.
Is it curly, or stick straight? Does she like it when someone plays with her hair?
I have a feeling it would be incredibly calming to drag my fingers through her tresses.
Wind it around my fingers to feel its softness.
Or around my fist as I pound into her from behind.
Dammit. No. Get it together, man.
Knocking on Audrey’s door, I take a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves.
When I get anxious, it can go one of three ways.
I might be able to calm myself down. Or, I could get incredibly overstimulated, needing to get the hell out of here fast before I embarrass myself.
But worst of all, I might actually puke.
My first two years in the NFL, I puked before every game. It became a running joke with my teammates. “Sorry, Coach, you can’t give us your inspiring Ted Talk just yet. Wahlberg’s barfing again.” I’m honestly thrilled it didn’t make the evening news, although I’m not sure how.
Unfortunately, as soon as I hear Audrey unlock the door, I know I’m going to hurl. She barely has time to smile at me, after opening the door, before I rasp, “Where’s your bathroom?”