Chapter 18
Who the hell am I?
That was the most brazen thing I’ve ever done.
Hell, more than one brazen thing. What was I thinking, barging in there to grab my vibrator?
I knew the probability of him finding it was high, but at that moment, it was like my body operated on its own accord.
I should have grabbed the vibrator and bolted, but once I saw Jamie was masturbating, I couldn’t move.
I was completely spellbound. Captivated.
When he began talking, telling me how he would touch me, I was a ticking time bomb. The grittiness of his voice was like sandpaper against my skin. I could feel what he wanted to do to me. My body reacted viscerally to his words, and my orgasm almost knocked me over.
But me reaching out to touch him, and then licking off the last bit of his release?
I have no idea what came over me. That act should have made me incredibly uncomfortable.
All of my sexual experiences thus far have been incredibly tame.
Tonight, however, I immediately knew he was thinking about me, and I was emboldened for the first time in my life.
Feminine confidence and sensuality. It was like my orgasm gave me an even bigger high, and I had to capitalize on it.
Now, though, I’m shaken and feeling quite raw. When I hear the water turn off in the shower, I frantically strip out of my wet clothes, rushing into my closet to get appropriately dressed. Should I get into bed and fake sleep? Act like nothing happened? Shit. I’m overthinking this.
As I exit my closet, the bathroom door opens.
Wearing only his boxers, Jamie strides toward me, and before I can say a word, he takes me into his arms, kissing me deeply.
I sigh into his mouth as I wind my arms around his neck.
The kiss isn’t passionate, but it’s exactly what I need while my mind is working overtime to mess with my emotions.
It feels like Jamie is claiming me. Telling me it’s okay, that nothing has changed in our dynamic.
Breaking off the kiss, he rests his forehead against mine. “You still okay if I spend the night?”
I let out a relieved breath as I nod. He could have asked if I still wanted him to stay, but by specifically stating it the way he did, he put the decision with me, as if he needs me instead of the other way around.
“Good,” he whispers, placing a tender kiss on the tip of my nose. “I think I need a cuddle after that. You kinda rocked my world, Doctor Carrington.”
I snort as he lets go, heading to the side of the bed where he napped yesterday. I turn off the lights, close the door, and round the bed to my side. We both get under the covers, facing each other.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he says quietly.
“Yes.”
“I’ve never done anything like that before.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. That was incredibly hot.”
“I’m surprised. I’d have thought you had all kinds of experiences like that,” I tell him, shyly.
He’s quiet for a moment before he speaks.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt comfortable enough with a woman to ask her to do something like that.
And as cocky as this sounds, most women who want to sleep with a football player aren’t in it for the experience.
Once they realize I’m not the stereotypical athlete, they want to get off and get the hell out of there. ”
“But you feel comfortable with me,” I state softly, almost to myself, then yelp as he grabs my arm, yanking me against him so my head is on his chest.
“Yeah, Doc. You make me feel like no other woman has.”
“What?”
He sighs as he kisses the top of my head. “You make me feel normal.”
As the first ray of light courses between the wood blinds of my bedroom window, I know I’m alone. What is most surprising is how sad I feel that I’m alone.
Before we fell asleep, Jamie told me he had an early workout with a couple of the guys from his offensive line, and said he’d be quiet. Knowing how lightly I sleep, I assumed I’d still wake up. Either he is a ninja, or that orgasm put me into a coma.
Honestly, I’m not sure which reason I think is more accurate. In any case, I’m slightly bummed I didn’t wake up, because I know he’s going out of town for the rest of the week.
Reaching over to pick up my phone, my hand hits a piece of paper.
Aud,
You’re cute when you snore.
In case you’ve forgotten, I’m headed out of town until Friday for a brand marketing thing. I’d love to have you and Flash over for dinner at my place Friday night. We need to finalize the menu and place setting for the event, and I really want to have you in my space.
I’ve never invited a woman to my home before. Do with that what you will.
If you were to bring an overnight bag, I wouldn’t object. Will the pigs be okay for twelve hours? If not, bring them. I’ll buy another cage.
Already missing you.
-J
I hold the paper to my chest and squeal.
It still makes no sense to me that this man isn’t taken.
What woman in her right mind wouldn’t see the remarkable man that he is?
He’s ready to buy another behemoth cage on the off chance I want to spend the night at his place.
I bet he’ll also get a dog bed, dog bowls, and the whole nine yards if I don’t stop him.
Grabbing my phone, I fire off a text, expecting he won’t reply until later. He, of course, responds immediately.
Me
Do NOT buy another massive cage. The pigs will be fine.
QB
If a cage were to miraculously appear, would it be like we share custody of them? A single man to a dad of eight. What a story.
Me
Five guinea pigs, Jamie. Five.
QB
Plus Maverick, Goose, and Flash.
Me
You counted my dog in your new fatherhood experience?
QB
Of course. I was ready to go murder a bobcat, so I think that qualifies as a father figure.
Me
I don’t have any weapons in my apartment, so I’m honestly intrigued with how you intended to murder it.
QB
It’s at this moment I realize I don’t know how big bobcats are. In my head they’re the size of my cats, but more attitude and clearly feral.
Oh shit.
I Googled them. Nope, disregard. I love Flash, but I’m not equipped to take on a bobcat unless you have a crossbow, a set of carving knives, or a variety of grenades lying around.
Me
You know what? I JUST gave out my last grenade as a Halloween treat to a kid down the block last year. Bummer.
QB
Weirdly disappointed, Aud. But, courtesy of , I can get a variety of throwing knives, axes, or even steel spikes delivered by lunchtime tomorrow.
Me
What can’t you buy on ?
QB
Apparently nothing if you search for “things to kill a bobcat with.”
Me
Your search history is so screwed now.
QB
All in the name of Flash’s honor.
I can’t help the laughter that bursts from me as I toss my phone onto the bed next to me. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this happy or content. All because of the hot professional quarterback who searches for how to murder bobcats.
Before I know it, it’s Friday evening. Jamie texted me all week while he was in California, meeting with the team from some kind of shoe deal he has. He filmed a commercial, and said it’ll start airing right at the start of football season.
My boyfriend has his own shoe commercial.
How is this real life?
After nervously packing an overnight bag, I pack everyone in the car — because I truly know Jamie will have a cage for the pigs — and set off to his neighborhood.
While we don’t live too far from one another, Denver traffic can be abysmal at best, and Friday night at rush hour is heinous no matter where I’m going.
The typical drive should take no more than twenty or thirty minutes, but takes me over an hour.
When I pull into his gated community, I have a moment of panic.
It reminds me of where I grew up. While the houses are newer, a wave of anxiety and PTSD makes my heart rate spike.
What are his neighbors like? Do my parents know anyone here?
Probably not. They’d consider this area to be ‘new money’ and wouldn’t want to associate themselves with anyone they deemed less than.
After witnessing their distaste of Jamie last weekend, I can only assume they’ll be horrified at my relationship.
Ten years ago, I’d have ended things with a man my parents disapproved of.
Even knowing I’d never gain their unconditional love and trust like my brother and sister have, I wouldn’t have chosen to rock the boat.
I smile to myself as I drive slowly through Jamie’s neighborhood, realizing just how much I’ve grown in the last decade.
While my family is still in my life, and there are times they control situations or attendance at events, I’ve stood up for myself more times than I can count.
My confidence has grown leaps and bounds, and I can only hope having Jamie in my life will continue that.
“Holy shit,” I breathe, as I pull up to another gate at the top of a very long driveway.
I can’t see the entire home yet, just the roof, as it’s built beyond a hill.
Jamie has a gated home within a gated community.
What does he go through that he feels he needs this kind of protection? Am I getting in over my head?
I pull up to a control box with a camera, prepared to push the button, when a loud buzz sounds. I watch as the gate begins to open, and more of the palatial home comes into view.
“Doc.”
“Hmm?”
Jamie chuckles through the speaker. “You can drive in. The door won’t bite you.”
“Uh-huh,” I murmur.
“I might, though.”
“What?”
Loud laughter answers me. “Just pull in, baby. Garage is open, so pull in the open spot. I’ll come help you unload.”