Chapter 24 #2
“But you would drunk?” I ask, completely amused at the dichotomy between our conversation and Claire’s very detail-oriented and meticulous personality.
She shrugs. “I have been known to make some rather questionable decisions when drunk. But still! The audacity!”
“What else did he say?” I ask.
“He commented on my dress, and that I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.” Claire’s ice-blue strapless dress fits her thin body beautifully, an almost perfect match for her eyes.
“Well, you look amazing, so you can’t fault him for that.”
“Audrey!” Chelsea hisses from behind a pillar. Claire says goodbye as I turn to Chelsea. She motions me to approach, then looks around to see if anyone is listening. “Did you mess with the seating chart?”
“No. Why? I finalized it two days ago and sent it to the hotel. Is there an issue?” My mind whirls with possible problems. Did I accidentally put sports rivals at the same table, or a man and his current girlfriend next to his ex wife and her date, who just so happens to be his ex-best friend?
“Dude,” Chelsea says, her eyes wide. “We’ve both been moved.”
“What?” I explode. “That’s preposterous! Who wou —”
“Oh, I think you know exactly who did. And now we’re stuck, because I certainly can’t switch with you. He’s at the head table, and you’re the only one who hasn’t sat down yet.”
I close my eyes, willing the emotion clogging my throat to settle down. “This can’t be happening.”
Her eyes are full of sympathy. “My guess is he planned this, because he knew you would avoid him.”
I laugh bitterly. “Well, he’s right.”
Chelsea sighs. “I figure this can go a few ways. You can sit politely, wait until the auction begins, and then we can go hide again. Or, you could light into him as soon as you sit down, so all of his buddies know what happened.”
“They don’t even know he was hiding me, so I’d look like a psycho,” I tell her. “Any other ideas?”
She gives me a small smile. “You listen to him. Hear what he has to say. Then either forgive him and move on, or forgive him and move toward him.”
I gasp. “Move toward him? I don’t want to get back with him! I deserve a man who wants me beside him, not one who thinks he’s better than me.”
“Like I said, listen to him. He may have a valid reason for what you heard. He’s looking for you.
Go,” she says, pointing toward Jamie’s table.
She pats me on the shoulder, then walks off toward the furthest back table.
The table I was also supposed to sit at.
I take a deep, shuddering breath, then walk slowly toward the head table.
Jamie immediately stands, smoothing a hand over the front of his gorgeous tuxedo, and I force my eyes to look away.
“Everyone, this is Audrey. She spearheaded this event. Audrey, you remember Jax and his wife, Becca. Then we have …” Jamie says, pointing to all the men sitting around the circular table, “Maddox, who plays football with me, and Troy, my agent. Lastly, Max, who plays baseball for the Rocky Mountain Raptors. And I apologize, I already forgot the names of your dates. I’m awful with names. ”
Everyone laughs as Jamie pulls out my chair.
I reluctantly sit, as I had intended to come up with some excuse as to why I couldn’t sit for dinner.
But I see the relief on Jamie’s face, and I’m reminded that he also struggles in social situations.
Regardless of our relationship, I assume he needs all the support he can get.
Directly to my right, Becca leans in. “Are you okay? I know something happened between you two, but I don’t know what. Jacob sucks at giving details.”
I love how Becca only refers to Jax by his full name of Jacob, but smile sadly as I shake my head. “No, nothing to report. I’m fine. Just tired, and my feet are killing me.”
She lets out a breathy giggle. “Women’s shoes are the worst! But you look absolutely amazing tonight. Jamie hasn’t been able to tear his eyes off of you.”
I stiffen slightly, biting my lip. That was all I wanted.
To be the object of a man’s devotion and love.
I didn’t expect my partner to shower me with gifts, or love bomb me.
I can appreciate the quiet ways love shines through.
Like getting my favorite candy, and having the only coffee I’ll drink stocked in his kitchen.
I’d rather have that kind of love any day of the week.
“I’m not comfortable talking about this right now. I may never be ready.”
Becca nods. “I get it. Do you want to grab coffee this week? Or a quick lunch? Even if we don’t talk about the heathens around this table, I can be a friend.”
I smile gratefully at her. “I’d like that.”
Dinner is served, and it looks outstanding.
Due to the large brick currently rolling around in my stomach, I fake eating, spending the entirety of the dinner portion of the schedule pushing food around on my plate.
As we get closer to the auction, Jamie’s leg begins to shake.
Then I notice him rubbing the pads of two fingers together.
Back and forth. Back and forth. He’s no longer conversing with anyone, and when I look out of the corner of my eye, I see his face has paled considerably.
Without thinking, I rest a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
His body stills as he stares at my hand. Before I can react, he reaches up, grabbing it tightly. “No. No, I’m not okay. Audrey, I’m fucking lost without you.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Maybe you should have thought about that months ago, Jameson.”
He winces. “Don’t call me that. I’m not Jameson to you.”
“I don’t think I really know who you are,” I whisper, watching as his eyes screw shut in pain. He lets go of my hand, then reaches into his tuxedo coat. Pulling out a small notebook, he hands it to me. “What’s this?”
“It’s me. It’s everything I should have said weeks ago. I think you’ll find that you’ve always known the real me, Doc. I just forgot for a moment.” Jamie stands, buttoning his coat. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a speech to make, and an auction to MC. Audrey, please read it. Please.”
I watch as he strides away, out a side door.
Knowing my own challenges with overstimulation, I assume he’s off to get himself centered and in control.
I bet he uses the same techniques he’s used when on the football field.
I watch his retreating back before someone drops unceremoniously into Jamie’s vacant seat.
I look to find his agent, Troy, studying me. “How much did you hear that morning?”
“Enough,” I snap.
“Did you give him a chance to explain?” he asks, but before I can reply, he continues. “No. You assumed the worst and blocked him. He’s a shell of his former self, barely surviving, and he’s in training camp. He might lose the starting position, did you know that?”
“Woah,” Maddox says, standing. “It’s not her fault, man.”
“Oh?” Troy replies, his eyebrows raised defiantly. “It sure seems like she’s the catalyst. My guy was doing fine until she rolled into his life like a fucking wrecking ball.”
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” I tell him defensively. “I didn’t ask to be hidden like I’m an embarrassment. To be made to feel like I’m less than. To second-guess my entire existence because a man was embarrassed by me. I certainly didn’t ask to fall in love with him, yet here we are.”
Troy laughs sardonically. “You know, for someone so smart, you’re really fucking stupid.”
“Cool it, Troy,” Max says rigidly. “You’re only saying this because Jamie isn’t here.”
“Well, someone has to!” he explodes. “He told me about you weeks ago. He wouldn’t tell me your name, but I knew it was you.
Then, when I began questioning him that morning you somehow overheard our conversation, I second-guessed myself.
Jamie isn’t a liar. He despises liars, frankly.
So for him to lie to me, I just couldn’t believe it. ”
“Maybe he didn’t lie,” I whisper hesitantly.
Troy rolls his eyes. “He fucking lied, Audrey. You’re the only woman.
There hasn’t been a woman in his life in years.
He lied because he’s so petrified you’ll run when you see what his life really is like.
How he can never be himself. How he has two gates to go through at home, because people don’t leave him alone.
He thought he’d finally found his match.
You accepted him, exactly as he is. Hell, he fucking told the entire world he’s autistic because of you.
No way in hell he would have done that six months ago. He’s in love with you.”
I shake my head as tears fall freely. “I’m not to blame for him announcing he’s autistic. No way you’re gonna fault me for that one.”
“Jesus, you’re as stubborn as he is,” Troy mutters.
“I wasn’t blaming you. I’ve been telling him for years he didn’t need to hide.
He’s a brilliant quarterback, and I believe it’s partially due to how his brain works.
There’s a misconception that autistic individuals can’t do certain things, like professional sports, and he’s proof that they can.
He’s going to bring so much hope to a new generation of kids.
That is largely due to your support of him.
You showed him that he can be accepted exactly as he is.
No woman has ever shown him that, not even his own mom.
You are the sole reason for him finally having the confidence to stand proudly as himself.
But if you don’t give him another chance, I’m not sure how he’ll handle it. ”
“I don’t — I mean, I can’t —” I stammer, then stop when I see Jamie walking on stage.
Troy quickly slides into his own seat, acting as if he hasn’t been berating me since Jamie stepped away.
I look up to find Jamie’s intense gaze solely on me, and we both take deep inhales.
Simultaneously. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I laugh at the absurdity of it all, and Jamie smiles.
A genuine smile so perfect it makes my heart ache.
“May I have your attention please. If you are participating in the bachelor auction, please make your way to the front of the stage. You’ll be directed where to go.
I have a bunch of rules to go over with all the prospective bidders, so be sure to listen.
But before we get started, I have some things I’d like to say. ”