6 | Simone
I could smell the bacon and eggs before I walked through the front door.
“Look who the cat dragged in.”
“Good morning to you too GiGi.”
“Mm-hmm. Now I know you grown and everything, but you could’ve let me know you were spending the night out.”
“Sorry about that. Won’t happen again.”
“Be wise Simone. Spending the night with him whether you guys did anything or not is opening the door for temptation.”
“You’re right.” I admitted. At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about being wise or walking in holiness. I was just going with the flow and thankfully nothing went too far but if it had I would have no one to blame but myself.
“What do you know about his parents?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Haven’t met them, so can’t really tell you much.” I took a plate out of the cabinet and began to pile on the grits, eggs, and bacon.
“His mom is in the hospital though and he has a younger brother… well had. He passed away a few months ago.”
“Oh my gosh!” GiGi covered her mouth in shock. “Sam is in the hospital? Wh…what happened to her?” she probed.
I was so confused by her reaction. “Huh? Did you just call his mom Sam?”
Soon as she realized what she said she tried to take it back, but it was too late.
“GiGi, do you know his mom?” She wiped her eyes.
“No, not really.” She turned to grab orange juice out of the fridge.
“Ok well, what do you know?”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing, Simone. Eat your breakfast. Don’t you have class soon?”
“Yeah, I do but are you seriously about to leave me in the dark? What’s the big deal if you know his family?”
Something wasn’t right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. She dodged my question before I could interrogate her further.
“I have to get on the prayer line. Have a good day at school. I love you.”
“Ok, I love you too, but don’t think we’re done talking.”
Once my classes ended around 11 a.m., I couldn’t wait to head back home and pick GiGi’s brain but somehow I allowed Emaree to interrupt my plans when she invited me out to lunch.
Normally we’d get some wings and fries from a popular spot in South Carrington called Drays, but she told me she ran across an Asian and Caribbean Fusion Food Truck online and wanted to try them out and record some content.
If you knew E, then you knew she stayed active on social media, and her following was growing by the day. She shared a lot of lifestyle and fashion content, and it was amazing to see what capturing your daily life and posting it for the world could really do.
“Wow, this menu is insane.” She said recording clips of the Food Truck and menu with her phone.
I had to agree. They did a great job with fusing both Asian and Caribbean staples in a way that made sense and sounded appealing.
We settled on the Oxtail Fried Rice and Jerk Chicken Bao Buns with Plantain Loaded French Fries.
As soon as we hopped into her car with our food, she was ready to grill me.
“What’s tea? You had two dates in the last forty-eight hours. Spill it. I wanna hear every. Single. Thing. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve been on a real date, so I need to live vicariously through you.”
I let out a sigh that quickly turned into a smile.
“Okay, so first of all I really didn’t go into either of these knowing for sure if they were even considered dates.
I haven’t seen Ryan in years, and he’s always been sweet to me but never made any moves and then Samaj and I have only hung out once and talked very briefly.
Not to mention, he has a lot going on right now, so I’m afraid he might be emotionally unavailable.
I ate a few of my fries before continuing.
“Anyway, Ryan’s date was nice. Like… really nice. Simple, but cute. Dinner, conversation, nothing over the top.”
She rolled her eyes playfully. “I remember him. He’s a nice guy, kind of a square but that can be a good thing.”
I laughed. “Be nice E. Overall, it was a pretty good date.”
“Mm-hm,” she said, sipping her drink. “And now tell me about the other one—the one you’re trying so hard not to grin about right now.”
I looked down at my straw, twirling it like it was suddenly fascinating. “The one with Samaj…it was unexpected. And exciting. Like…the best date I’ve ever been on. I literally didn’t want it to end.”
“I bet,” she said. We took a brief pause to dig into our plates a little more.
“Go ahead and continue. I’m listening”
So, I told her all about the date down to every detail. I even shared some of the pictures and videos we took on the helicopter ride.
“Y’all ended up in his bed, and nothing happened?”
“No girl, thank God. My silly self shouldn’t have been in that man’s bed to begin with. You know I’m abstaining until marriage.”
“Well, I’m proud of you. It would be way too soon to be physically intimate with him anyway. Keep building on your friendship.”
“I couldn’t agree more. I really enjoy being around him even when he has his guard up and emotions tucked away. I know there’s an amazing guy underneath all of that tough exterior.”
Emaree leaned back and gave me a look. The look she always uses when she’s about to tell me something I don’t want to admit out loud.
“You know what’s crazy?” she said. “You would’ve been over-the-moon excited even if Samaj took you on that same simple little date Ryan took you on.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but nothing came out. She smirked. “It matters who you’re out with. That’s what makes the date special.” My stomach flipped in a way that had nothing to do with the food I’d been eating.
I grabbed my drink and took a long sip. “Okay… maybe you’re right.”
“I know I’m right,” she said, tossing her braids out of her face. “Now, question, are you gonna see both of them again?” Instead of answering, I just smiled into my drink. And from the way Emaree’s eyes lit up, she already knew what that meant.
“So enough about me,” I said, pointing a fry at her. “What’s going on with your love life?” She rolled her eyes like she always did when I asked, but there was something softer underneath it this time.
“Please don’t make that face,” she said, shaking her head. “You know I keep a few dudes in rotation. It’s nothing major.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been really quiet lately,” I said. “Usually you have at least three stories, a few screenshots, and one man who won’t stop blowing up your phone.”
She snorted. “I think I’m over it.”
“Over what?”
She closed her food container. “All of it. I feel like… I’ve had my fun, you know? Going with the flow. Not taking anything too seriously. Entertaining guys just to pass time. It worked for a long time.”
She sighed. The kind of sigh that feels like something she’d been holding in for a long time.
“But lately? I don’t want to do that anymore.
I want something real. Something stable.
If I’m being honest, I don’t want to end up like my mom.
I’ve never seen her in a serious relationship.
It’s like she’s allergic to settling down.
All she’s ever cared about is her career.
You know she never wanted to have kids? The only reason Emon and I are here is because my dad threatened her not to terminate the pregnancy. She chose her career over us.”
I set my wing down. Although the strain in her relationship with her mom was no secret, I never knew the root of it.
“E, you’re your own person. I don’t think you have to worry about ending up like your mom. I’m glad you and Emon are here. I fully believe ya’ll were meant to be here. God has a purpose for both of you.”
“I’ve tried, you know…having a relationship with my mom.” My heart started to ache at that statement. Emaree began biting her nails. Something I noticed she would do ever since we were kids, as a self-soothing mechanism.
“There are always little moments we share or glimpses of hope she gives me that make me believe maybe one day we can be close. I know I’m grown now, but I still want my mom.” I could hear the crack in her voice. As if she was on the brink of tears.
I nodded. “I know.” I whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “There’s nothing wrong with you or wrong with desiring your mom’s love; however, her inability to show up for you and give you that relationship has nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with her own brokenness.”
She wiped the tears that had begun to fall down her face. “Thanks, I just don’t want to become her.”
“You won’t.” I replied firmly.
“How are you so sure?”
“Because people who fear becoming toxic usually fight hard not to become what hurts them. You can break the cycle E.”
She stared at me before fresh tears filled her eyes again.
“You’re already different from her. You love deeply, you’re a joy to be around, you show up for people, and you protect those you care about.
Especially me. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through some of the tough times without you.
I love you E, and more importantly, God loves you.
He created you in His image so at the end of the day, your identity comes from Him.
My Bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. ”
“Thanks Simone. I really needed to hear that.”
I squeezed her hand, “I pray you never forget that.”
“On a lighter note, I think I need to take a page out of your book. You’ve never been a serial dater. You don’t waste your time. And now look at you—two seemingly great guys who will probably end up fighting over you.”
I groaned. “Please don’t start.”
“Start? Girl, I’m just stating facts, and I love that for you.”
Before I could even give her my dramatic rebuttal, my phone buzzed on top of the dash.
Ryan: Hey, hope your day is going well. If you’re free, we should do something Thursday night. I found a spot on Instagram called “The Moon” Downtown with good reviews. Let me know.
I stared at it for half a second before another buzz hit—practically on cue.
Samaj: Thinking about you. Hope you’re ready to get these projects started. We’re about to be like Mr. & Mrs. Claus out here blessing people for the Holidays all because of you and your brilliant mind. It’s going to be dope.