24 | Simone
Have you ever woken up and just feel like something is different?
Nothing that you can physically see but in your spirit, you feel like you’ve stepped into a new season?
That’s what I was feeling when I woke up today.
As usual, GiGi was playing her gospel music while making us breakfast. After we ate, we both cleaned up the house together and by the time we were done I got a message from Samaj.
Me: Ok, let me get ready. See you soon, be safe.
I had no idea what to expect from our time together, but I was looking forward to it. I got dressed in a cute black and white romper, paired it with my black COACH Bryn Sandals and COACH Mila crossbody. Minimal gold accessories on my ears and the gold necklace he gifted me finished off the look.
When GiGi let him in he had a bouquet of flowers for her.
“Thank you Samaj. This is really sweet of you, and I know I’ve already said it, but I can’t thank you enough for taking me to the hospital that night. I prayed God would bless you in a special way.”
“He already has.” He said to her, but was looking directly at me. I smiled bashfully before turning to GiGi to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“GiGi I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, ya’ll have fun.”
As we pulled off, I noticed the music almost immediately. It wasn’t the usual old-school R&B he loved—the kind that always had me fantasizing about the future with him. This was different.
I tilted my head. “Okay… who are you and what have you done with Samaj’s playlist?”
He laughed. “I’ve been listening to Christian rap lately.”
I blinked. “Really? I don’t think I’ve ever listened to Christian rap, but if it sounds like this I might need to.”
“Yeah, I’ma put you on to some of my favs like Dru the Disciple, Hulvey, KB” he said, tapping the steering wheel. “But the one playing right now is Alex Jean. I think he’s pretty new, but he’s fire.”
I listened closer, letting the lyrics sink in. Faith. Healing. Confidence without arrogance. I nodded slowly.
“I like it. A lot actually.” He smiled like that meant more to him than I realized.
Our first stop was miniature golf, and I hadn’t laughed that hard in a while. We talked trash, teased each other, argued about strokes like it was life or death.
At one point he leaned over and whispered, “I know you cheating.” And I shoved him away, laughing so hard I almost missed the putt.
From there, we hit a food truck festival in the city. We shared bites of everything—birria tacos, loaded fries, jerk chicken sliders, churros dusted in cinnamon sugar.
We stood close, shoulders brushing, fingers accidentally touching and neither of us pulled away.
The conversation flowed so easily it felt unreal. Like no time had passed at all. And yet… I could tell things were different. But different in a good way. There was a steadiness with him now. A calm and confident assurance.
He didn’t seem like the Samaj that had a hundred things on his mind or the one who was weighed down with grief but was trying his best to keep his cool.
This wasn’t the version of Samaj I’d lost—it was a healed one in progress.
As the afternoon melted into evening, he took me somewhere I wasn’t expecting at all.
“We’re getting on a yacht?” I asked when he led me down the marina.
“Yeah, but not just any yacht. This belongs to my dad’s. He bought it a few months ago.”
I stopped short. “Samaj… are you serious?”
He grinned. “Very. This is it right here.”
When Samaj led me toward the yacht, I had to stop and really take it in.
It had a beautiful sleek white exterior, polished chrome rails catching the sunlight, dark tinted windows wrapping around the cabin.
The name of the boat was etched in elegant lettering along the side, Forever Samantha, which I immediately recognized as his mother’s name.
I guess he gets his charm and thoughtfulness from his dad.
A man in a navy polo and khaki shorts stepped forward with an easy smile.
“Hey, I’m Anthony,” he said, extending his hand. “I’ll be chartering today. The weather is perfect. Enjoy the ride and anything you need, just let me know.”
“Appreciate it.”
Once we were moving, the hum of the engine faded into the background, replaced by the sound of water slicing gently against the hull. We sat out on the deck, the breeze warm, the sun kissing my skin. The city slowly faded behind us as the ocean opened wide in front of us.
Samaj turned toward me, his expression serious but soft.
“Hey, I need you to know something,” he said. “I didn’t bring you out here to impress you. I know you love the ocean so that played a part, but I brought you here because this felt like a good place to get away from the noise and have an honest and private moment.”
I stayed quiet, letting him speak, which was something I wasn’t used to him doing.
“I’ve been in therapy,” I think my eyes widened in surprise.
He continued. “I go once a week, and I’ve been praying and even went on a couple of fasts.
Really sitting with God and letting Him deal with the parts of me I kept burying.
I realized how much pain I was carrying—and how it spilled over onto you.
That wasn’t fair. I’m not here to rush anything. I’m not here to repeat old cycles.”
I want to rebuild our friendship again, really rebuild it. But I also want you to know my feelings for you never went away, if anything they’ve probably just grown over these last 6 months.”
My throat tightened.
“I’m not perfect,” he continued. “But I’m doing the work.
I want to pursue you. Romantically. Intentionally.
In a Godly way. With marriage as the goal.
If you don’t feel that same or if this is too soon, I will understand so, please don’t feel obligated or pressured to decide anything right now.
I know right now this may just seem like words, but in due time I know you’ll be able to see my actions back up everything I’m saying. ”
The words settled into my spirit like a promise.
I took a breath. “Wow. Samaj.. I don’t even know what to say,” I admitted.
“There’s a part of me that’s ready to be all in and then there’s a part of me that’s a little hesitant. I want to guard my heart, but also be open to whatever God is doing.”
“That makes sense.”
“I never stopped caring about you. I was hurt by the way things ended, and I wasn’t sure how to move forward. You said you didn’t trust me, and I never wanted to break your trust. I think I could’ve done things differently.”
“When I look back I really think it happened how it was supposed to. Emotions were high and I had a lot to process. I know you never meant to hurt me.”
“I’ve also been seeking God and learning more about myself and what I needed to work on to be a better version of me. I want to build our friendship again too, only if we agree to keep God at the center and promise to communicate through any challenge we face.”
The way his eyes softened when I said that told me everything. He stood and held his hand out. “I want to show you something.”
Inside the cabin rose petals were scattered across the floor, leading me forward.
Tea light candles flickered softly along the path, their glow bouncing off warm wood paneling.
At the center was a small table set with a charcuterie board, cheeses, crackers, and fresh fruit next to a stunning bouquet of red roses.
A flat screen mounted on the wall came to life.
Pictures of us. Old memories of our time together.
Candid moments. Off guard pics and a couple of pics I’m pretty sure he got from my Instagram page.
The slideshow moved slowly, and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and when the final screen appeared:
I’m sorry for ever being the one to hurt you or make you cry. I will spend the rest of my life rebuilding our friendship and protecting your heart… if you’d give me one more chance.
I covered my mouth, tears spilling over before I could stop them.
“Simone,” Samaj said softly. “I don’t want to rush God’s process, but I do want to choose you intentionally. As a friend, a brother in Christ and as your future husband.”
He pulled out a small box and opened it, revealing a ring. A beautiful and dainty gold promise ring with a small round diamond set delicately at the center.
“I promise to lead with honesty, patience, and faith. To be all in and work through any challenges we may face without running. To protect your heart while God prepares us for more.”
I nodded through my tears. “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, I would love to be your friend, your sister in Christ and your future wife.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me like I was the most precious thing in the world.
I cried against his chest, overwhelmed in the best way like God had gently stitched something back together that had once been broken.
I was reminded of my recent prayers asking God not to bring Samaj back into my life unless he took time to heal and was truly ready to be all in. God is faithful.
When we returned to the deck, the sky was painted in deep oranges and purples, the sun slowly melting into the horizon. I curled into his side, my head resting against his chest, his arm wrapped around me.
We didn’t need words anymore. Just the ocean.The sunset. And God’s creation stretching endlessly before us.
The next day was Sunday and Samaj’s last day before he had to head back to Union Heights. Destiny had invited us to her church, and Samaj agreed without hesitation, but I could tell he was nervous.
He told me on the drive there that he hadn’t physically stepped inside a church since last year Easter Sunday, the same year Shiloh passed. It was one of those churches his parents would take them to every now and then. Not consistently. Not even official members. Just enough to say they went.