25 | Samaj
We’d been officially dating for a month now, and things were going better than I could’ve imagined. Long distance was never something I thought I’d sign up for. I used to think it was pointless, too hard to make work, too easy to drift apart. But for Simone? I broke a lot of my own rules.
We were intentional. That was the difference.
No guessing games, no disappearing acts.
We talked every day, sometimes short check-ins between work, sometimes long FaceTime calls that lasted hours.
Every weekend we had virtual date nights: ordering the same food, watching the same movie, praying together before we hung up.
It wasn’t perfect, but I loved the place we were in. I was missing her like crazy and couldn’t wait to see her when she came to visit in a few days.
I had her gorgeous eyes and perfume committed to memory, but nothing would compare to seeing her face to face, hugging her and being in her presence.
As I drove to my therapy session with Dr. Thomas, I caught myself smiling. Therapy had become a non-negotiable for me, something I protected just like my workouts or my prayer time.
I only saw him once a month now instead of weekly, but the impact hadn’t lessened. If anything, it had expanded. I made a mental note to thank Jaiden again. If he hadn’t shared his story and encouraged me to give therapy a chance, I don’t know if I would’ve ever taken that first step.
Therapy really has been a game changer. Dr. Thomas and I talked about my family, work, my walk with God and about Simone.
He listened more than he spoke, like always, but when he did speak, it landed.
“I was pretty hyped when you sent me that text last month telling me you gave your life to Jesus, and you got to do it with the woman you’re pursuing. That sounds like heaven on earth if you ask me.” I smiled at the memory. It was something I held close to my heart.
“You’re not the same Samaj that I met months ago. I can see how you’ve grown, and I’m proud of the progress you’ve made.”
“Appreciate it. I’m proud of myself too.
I feel like a new man. I found a way to grieve and remember my brother while still living a full and peaceful life.
I didn’t think this was possible. I honestly thought the darkness that consumed me would never leave me.
My parents and I are in a better place too and it’s because of you.
You’ve helped me navigate so many areas of my life and I’m grateful. ”
“That brings me to the next thing I wanted to talk to you about. At this stage,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “you also have a responsibility as a disciple to make disciples. That caught my attention.
“What do you mean?”
“God doesn’t heal us just so we can be whole for ourselves,” he continued.
“In the book of Matthew 29:19-20 Jesus is commanding us to make disciples. There are people who need what you’ve learned.
It could be family, a friend, or a complete stranger.
Teach them and be an example for them as a brother in Christ. Plant seeds everywhere you go and don’t worry about whether you'll see fruit right away or at all. I’m paraphrasing this, but the bible tells us in 1st Corinthians chapter 3:6-8 one-man plants, one-man waters but in the end, God is responsible for the increase. ”
I nodded, letting that sink in. The idea didn’t scare me, it humbled me. For the first time, I didn’t feel like my pain was wasted. I felt like God had been working with purpose all along and I was finally getting a chance to see what that would look like.
Near the end of the session, I brought up something that had been sitting on my heart for weeks now. “I want to start pre-marital counseling,” I said, a little more confidently than I felt. “Not immediately, but soon. With Simone. Was hoping you could connect me with a marriage counselor?”
Dr. Thomas smiled, real proud-like.
“That’s a great step in the right direction,” he replied. “That kind of intentionality? That’s how you build something that lasts. I can definitely connect you with someone.”
As I walked back to my car, I pulled out my phone and sent Simone a quick text.
Me: Just left therapy. Thinking about you can’t wait to see you Friday.
I pulled up to the arrival’s terminal right on time, leaning back in my seat as the automatic doors slid open and closed.
The moment I spotted Simone, my chest warmed.
She was smiling before she even saw me, Emaree beside her and Kadeem not too far behind struggling with their luggage.
Bag after bag. Rolling suitcases. Carry-ons. Tote bags.
I got out of the car, laughing as I started helping load everything.
“Y’all staying three days,” I said, “or three weeks?”
Kadeem shook his head. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I told them this ain’t a relocation.”
Emaree sucked her teeth. “It’s really not that bad.” Kadeem gave her a look that said, ‘Yeah right.’
Simone just laughed. “We just like to have options.”
I pulled her in for a hug taking in the scent of her sweet perfume.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
I drove them to the hotel I booked for the girls.
I chose a hotel that was clean and modern with a chic atmosphere and nice views that was close to my place.
Kadeem would be staying with me. While Simone and Emaree went upstairs to freshen up, Kadeem and I sat in the lobby.
“I was surprised you didn’t just have Simone staying with you at your place. ”
“It crossed my mind. Trust me, I would love having her close, but I knew that would be the wrong move. Trying to do things differently this time around. This isn’t regular dating for me,” I said. “I’m courting Simone.”
He leaned back, eyebrows raised. “What’s the difference?”
“I’m intentional about the end goal—marriage. That means boundaries. Real ones,” I continued.
“We’re not sharing rooms or staying together. Hanging out one on one after a certain time of night. I don’t want to put us in a position where we fall into temptation. I had to learn that from my therapist. He’s been trying to put me on game. You know I’ve never been this serious about a girl.”
Kadeem was quiet for a second, then nodded. “Damn that’s what’s up. I don’t know if I could do it, but you’ve always been a better man than me.”
I laughed. “I don’t know about all that. I’m not even going to sit here and act like it’s been easy but the more I learn the more I want to do things differently.”
“I don’t know anybody our age doing that… but I respect it.” He praised me. That meant more to me than I let on. “I think finding the right partner is half the battle. We want the same things and we hold each other accountable. The days that I’m weak she helps pull me through and vice versa.”
I told him about our challenges and the things we were still working through together.
This was both our first time really doing things God’s way.
Simone had already been abstaining from sex, but I just started and I struggled with lustful thoughts at times.
I learned that I had to kill my flesh daily in order to walk in the spirit.
I’d made Galatians 5:16 my life scripture.
I was learning to die to my flesh daily in order to walk in the Spirit.
I could tell Kadeem was really listening and although he may not implement anything I said today I knew a seed was planted and the way I would live my life before him was going to be more powerful than any words I spoke.
After twenty-five minutes the girls came down dressed and ready to head out. Our first stop was brunch at one of the popular spots in the city. Exposed brick, big windows, plants hanging from the ceiling, the smell of coffee and buttered bread in the air.
We ordered way too much food: lemon ricotta pancakes, shrimp and grits, chicken and waffles, avocado toast with poached eggs, and a skillet loaded with potatoes and sausage.
I convinced everyone to drink cold pressed juice made with kale, celery, pineapple, apple, ginger instead of the bottomless mimosas the waitress recommended and thankfully they all went along with it and enjoyed it.
Simone and Emaree were in their element, phones out, recording everything, syrup pouring slowly over pancakes, plates clinking, laughter filling the space while Kadeem and I made small talk and enjoyed being in their space.
After brunch, we hit a museum, walking through exhibits, stopping for pictures, cracking jokes.
That evening, I dropped the girls back at the hotel so they could get ready for our night out.
A few hours later, we linked back up and headed to Crosby National Park to watch the Royals play against the Titans.
It was all of our first time attending an MLB game.
We pulled up to the stadium just as the sun was starting to dip, that golden-hour glow hitting the concrete and glass like a filter.
The place was packed with families in jerseys, couples holding hands, groups of friends laughing loud.
You could feel the buzz before we even got through security.
“This is mad big,” Emaree said, craning her neck as we walked in. Simone slipped her hand into mine, eyes wide, taking everything in as well.
The stadium opened up in front of us. Rows and rows of seats wrapping around the field like an amphitheater.
The grass was almost unreal in it’s color and the lights just started to glow as the sky darkened.
Music played over the speakers, vendors shouted over one another, and the crowd roared every time something happened even during warm-ups.
Kadeem? He was already locked in on the food. Before we even found our seats, he had a hot dog in one hand and a tray of loaded nachos in the other.
“I didn’t eat lunch just for this,” he said between bites. “This is strategic.”
“You eat all day every day. I don’t believe you’re missing out on any meals,” Emaree shot back.
“So, what you trying to tell me is you don’t care if I starve to death? How you gon wish death on me Snookums.”
“Boy, nobody said that!” Emaree objected, rolling her eyes.
Our seats were perfect, not right on the field, but close enough to feel like we were in it. Simone leaned forward every pitch, asking questions trying to understand the game.
“So, if he hits it over there, that’s good, right?”
“Very good,” I smiled, explaining the basics, loving how invested she got so fast.
Emaree was taking videos for TikTok while half-watching the game, half-people-watching, reacting loudly to anything dramatic.
Every time the crowd jumped up, she jumped up too, like she didn’t want to miss a moment.
The energy was crazy. The crowd cheering was infectious.
By the third inning, Kadeem had bought a soft pretzel and a large coke.
“You sure you're here for baseball?” I asked him.
“I’m here for the experience,” he said seriously. “And this experience tastes amazing!”
Simone laughed, resting her head on my shoulder as the jumbotron flashed couples, kids dancing, people losing their minds. At one point, they caught us on the screen, and Emaree screamed like we’d won the lottery.
“Ohhh look at ya’ll! Y’all cute or whatever!” she yelled as Simone tried to hide her face.
By the time the Royals scored a big run, the place went crazy with music blasting, fans high-fiving strangers, beer sloshing out of cups.
Simone jumped up with the crowd, cheering even though she still didn’t fully understand what had just happened.
She was somehow rooting for both teams to win; I started to tell her that wasn’t how this worked but decided to let her do her thing because as long as she was having a good time that’s all that mattered.
This visit was much needed. Watching three of the people I cared about most laugh, cheer, eat, and just be together in this city, I was learning to love it hit me how far I’d come.
We called it a night after that. As I lay in bed, setting my alarm for the early morning marathon I was running in with Jaiden and a few other people from the run club. I smiled to myself.
My crew would be there cheering me on. For the first time in a long time, my life felt balanced: faith, love, discipline, and community all moving in the same direction.