Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
RHETT
W hen I pull up the drive to the main house, the sky is still as dark as it was an hour ago when I woke up. Heavy clouds prevent any traces of the sun’s rise over the ranch from breaking through, and a deep sense of foreboding creeps in when I don’t see any horses turned out in the corral. A chill winds its way up my spine as I get off my bike because I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is about last night or if it’s something I can sense going on here at home.
Either way, my heart sinks further into my gut with every step I take toward the front steps.
Inside the house is warm, but I keep my jacket on and move right through the entry, where I find just about everyone gathered together. Layla stirs what looks like pancake batter in a plastic mixing bowl as eggs fry on a cast-iron pan nearby. Kasey sits at the wooden kitchen table with his head hung in his hands, and Wells stands quietly in the corner of the kitchen carefully watching Brooks pace the wide living room. Everyone’s tense, but no one says a word.
Mom must be with Melody—between her and Brooks, they haven’t left his wife alone once since she got her diagnosis. Sometimes I wonder how Melody can stand it, to be fussed over so much when all she probably wants is a little peace and quiet. Then again, most people probably crave the warmth of loved ones during a time of struggle. I’ve just never known what that feels like.
My eyes scout the room again. Dad’s nowhere to be found, but I’m not surprised.
“Where are the boys?” I ask no one in particular.
Wells turns his focus on me and his mouth dips in a frown. “Still sleeping.”
They must be sleeping upstairs if everyone’s here and not at Brooks’s. Probably a good thing . . . from the way Brooks looks, he’s not in much shape to watch them by himself. Something’s clearly happened since I left last night, but I don’t have the heart to ask, knowing it’s probably not good.
My chest tightens as the familiar dark smoke of fear invades. I turn to head down the hall for the nearest bathroom, eager to splash some cold water on my face, but Kasey’s “Where have you been?” sounds from his place at the table.
“Out,” I say. I have no interest in sharing anything about Olivia with my family, especially not after last night. Not after she catapulted me into fucking oblivion with that kiss.
I spent hours on my bike after I left her house, hoping to drown out the mental chaos, but as hard as I twisted that throttle, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d fucked up. Not even after finally calling it quits and finding myself at Wild Coyote where I could hide out in the small apartment above the bar for the night. I tossed and turned for hours, unable to fall asleep as I replayed the moment on a loop. Olivia may have been the one to start it, but I’d damn near melted at her feet from the feeling of her against me like that.
It went against everything I believed about women, which was that I needed to stay far the hell away from them. But since seeing her in Spurs last weekend, I was already having a hard time resisting more of her, and now I was wary that Kasey might somehow be able to see it all over me.
He lifts his head when I step back into the living room, his tired eyes straining to glare at me. “That’s it?”
I nod. “Yep.”
He’s probably thinking that I’ve been up to no good. Sometimes it gnaws at me, the way everyone assumes I’m only made to be reckless and irresponsible. I guess I can’t blame them for thinking I take after Dad in that way, and maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much if they were right. But they aren’t. No one—not Kasey or Brooks or, hell, even Mom—has ever understood the choices I’ve made or why I’ve felt forced to make them.
After so long, I guess I don’t really care to justify anything.
Kasey sighs, scrubbing a hand across his jaw. “We need to do morning rounds,” he says quietly. His eyes are heavy, and it’s only now that I notice the bruising beneath them, a clear sign of his exhaustion. He looks at me before tilting his head. “Let’s go.”
I cast a quick glance at Brooks and watch him stride toward the far wall, his shoulders hunched. He’s on edge in the worst of ways, and a knot lodges itself right into my throat with worry. Wells is still watching him too, letting out a quick “I’ll be out there in a bit” before pushing off the wall to stand in Brooks’s path, his hands out wide to put a stop to his pacing.
Kasey’s hand presses against my shoulder. “Come on,” he says. “We have a lot to do.”
I turn to him and nod, eager to get the hell out of his house.
I follow Kasey through the front door, and as he wraps his coat around his shoulders, I bite the bullet. “What happened?”
He sighs, tipping his cowboy hat down his brow. “Melody spiked a high fever last night, and Brooks took her back to the hospital. Things just keep getting worse for her, and there’s not much the doctors are doing other than flushing her full of meds to keep her comfortable. And you know Brooks is dead set on getting her better . . . I guess he got loud enough with a doctor that they made him leave. Gave him a security escort and everything. Told him he could come back after he cooled off.”
“Shit.” My breath whooshes out of me, fogging the pre-dawn air. Brooks must have been pretty riled up if they made him leave his sick wife.
“Yeah.” He nods. “Mom’s there with her now, and I’m sure Brooks will head back soon. But . . .” He looks up toward the sky, squinting at the dreary clouds. “I’m starting to think things aren’t going to end well, Rhett. I think—I think they’re going to get really fucking hard, and we need to do whatever we can for Brooks and this ranch.”
He looks at me, and I feel it before it comes. The shot he’s about to fire.
“We need you here. I need you here. And I’ll tell you this: the last thing anyone needs is you getting into trouble.”
“Do I look hungover to you?” I ask.
Kasey does a double take. “No.”
I nod. “Because I’m not. I’m not fucking around, Kase.”
“Then where have you been going? Just this week, you’ve been out more than you’ve been home.”
I crack my knuckles and take a breath to stave off the frustration. “What does it matter?”
Kasey takes an assertive step toward me, pointing a finger in my chest. “You think I don’t know Ellis is setting some shit up? You think I don’t know all the ways you can end up in trouble, Rhett? Most likely either behind bars or dead . Whether it’s cards or booze or fucking pills , I told you to keep your nose clean and stay away from all that shit, and?—”
“I’m not doing anything!” I shout. “I already told Colt I’m not going to that game, Kasey. And I haven’t touched pills in almost a year. I barely fucking drink. Jesus . Whether you believe me or not, I’ve been keeping out of trouble. You’re just always so sure that I’m going to fuck something up?—”
“Because you always do,” he spits out, his eyes near wild. “Do you know how many times this family has had to save your ass from the shit you cause?”
I shake my head, blood damn near boiling. I can hear my pulse pounding through my ears, and I know that if I don’t walk away now, I’m going to do something I’ll regret. I don’t know how to make him understand that I’m doing my best.
“Rhett!” Kasey calls behind me.
“ Fuck you ,” I throw back, heading for the building behind the house that serves as a tack shed and makeshift office for the ranch. Kasey’s the one who’s been overseeing most of the daily operations lately, but I’m not interested in letting him lead me today.
I check the calendar that always sits open on the desk and see that we have two horses scheduled to come in from a private ranch in Dallas that likes to send us horses for training. The farrier will be here tomorrow morning, which means a lot of prep work to not only get the new horses situated, but also to get the others groomed and ready to be doctored. I bring my fist down hard on the desk, rattling the ceramic bowl of paperclips and jar of pens.
Kasey and I are going to have to work together all fucking day long.
* * *
The weather’s as cold as the work is grueling.
The clouds hang over us until late in the afternoon, finally showing glimpses of the sun when we’re about ready to wrap up. My hands are sore from mucking every stall in both barns, and I swear on all things holy I’m going to find some part-time help just so I don’t have to keep doing this shit. I’ll pay for them with my own tips if I have to. We used to have more outside help around the ranch, but with Melody’s growing medical debt, we’ve cut loose anyone who isn’t absolutely necessary—which at this point is only Hank the farrier and the rotation of vets we have on speed dial. But the ranch operation has nearly doubled in the last decade, and it’s too much work for only a few of us.
Wells worked both of the new horses that came in, his diligent focus keeping him in the saddle with every attempt to buck him to hell. Layla jumped in to help brush out the horses in the barn in preparation for the farrier tomorrow, but then she disappeared back into the main house to watch the boys when Mom came to take Brooks back to the hospital, and Wells eventually left to open the bar for the night.
I have the closing shift, and I’m thankful as fuck I get to work with Wells instead of the asshole grunting next to me as he lifts a saddle onto its rack. The awareness I feel on the back of my neck tells me he’s watching me, so I avoid looking in his direction.
Eventually, he sighs. And I brace myself.
“Look, Rhett?—”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to hear it.”
A horse behind me whinnies, no doubt sensing the tension in the air. “Well, you’re gonna,” Kasey asserts with a sharp tone. He leans against the saddle rack like this isn’t going to be a quick conversation. “I shouldn’t have said you always fuck things up. That wasn’t fair. Everything just feels so upside down right now and I’m stressed out and honestly a little scared.”
My brows scrunch. “Why are you scared?”
Kasey sighs and hangs his head—a mirror image to the way he looked this morning, except now the purpling of the skin below his eyes is more pronounced. “I told you earlier, if things take a turn . . . if Melody—” He swallows hard. “If Melody doesn’t pull through, it’s going to wreck Brooks. And rodeo season starts soon, which means Wells will be in and out of town. Sawyer has another year of school, and Mom and Dad are getting too old to help in any meaningful way.”
I can’t help the scoff that breaks loose.
Kasey narrows his eyes but ignores it. “It’s just you and me, Rhett. Between the ranch and the bar, we have to keep this shit going. I . . . I need you to be reliable. And the stress makes me anxious, and I took it out on you this morning and . . .” He takes a breath, eyes locked on me. “The truth is, I’m fucking terrified.”
My stomach lurches at his admission. Of all my brothers, Kasey has always stayed closest to me, but it’s been out of necessity. His way of keeping an eye on me. For as much as he worries about what I’m doing, he’s never shared much about his own life with me.
As frustrated as I am with his lack of confidence in me, I recognize this moment for what it is: a shift in our dynamic. A surge of determination floods my chest, a near desperation to show him that I can be trusted. That I can be reliable.
“We’ve got this, Kase,” I tell him, hoping he can hear that I mean it. “No matter what, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for this family, okay? I’m here for you .”
Kasey exhales, his narrowed eyes loosening. He scratches at his nose with a dirty knuckle and then nods. “Okay,” he says. “Thank you.”
I tuck the stall fork into the corner and start to pull off my gloves. “For the record, I’m scared too,” I admit. “For Brooks.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t believe in miracles. But we sure as hell need one.”
The statement sends my heart pounding.