13. Isaac
Chapter 13
Isaac
Fourth Year of Medical School
8 Years Ago, May
“ S o, where did you match?” My question comes out unintentionally uninterested, but I try to maintain focus on Ana and her future plans. All hope is lost when the air in the room thickens. And I know exactly why.
There she is, standing in the doorway of the dressing room. We’re surrounded by the buzz of excited graduates all decked out in their regalia and bright, genuine smiles. Four years of blood, sweat, and tears has brought us to this moment, and the only thing I can think about is Jo.
“OBGYN at University of Michigan.” I nod absentmindedly, my eyes tracing Jo’s movement across the room towards Carmen and a few other members of our cohort. “And you’re headed to Mass General?”
“Yeah, moving to Boston should be fun,” I reply. Only a 15 hour drive to the University of Chicago. A three hour flight from Jo.
Except I fucked it all up. Nearly four years of friendship down the drain because of my stupid ego, and now we won’t be in the same place long enough for me to try to fix what I destroyed. This is supposed to be one of the best days of my life, and I’m just standing here thinking about how I might never see her again. Maybe I deserve to lose her.
Who am I kidding? Mom didn’t even love me, why would Jo?
I look back to Ana, but she’s gone, already engaged in conversation with Dr. Zin about her move to Michigan. My eyes flit back to where Jo is putting on her valedictorian stole. Her hair falls down her back in loose curls, reflecting the light of the buzzing ceiling lamps.
“Graduates,” a voice booms over the loudspeaker. “Please begin lining up along the wall alphabetically.” My chest squeezes in alphabetical anticipation, but when the line starts to form, I’m hit with the realization that Jo will be seated on stage.
Why’d she have to go be the smartest person in our class?
Because she’s perfect.
And I’m a giant moron.
I snap myself out of my self-pity, taking my place behind Carmen.
“Hey, shithead,” she says, just a little too loud, and I roll my eyes.
“Good to see you too, Carm.”
The line starts to move, and we filter into the auditorium. A rush of adrenaline has me glancing around, taking in as much of the environment as I can.
I’m graduating from medical school, and regardless of my feelings for Jo, I’m bursting with pride. I did it.
We sit, allowing time for the administration and ceremony speakers to take their place on the stage. Jo sits between Dr. Zin and Dr. Marciano, her eyes squinting against the bright stage lights.
I spend the entire two hour ceremony studying the way her smile becomes more and more forced over time. I can almost hear her complaining about the one photo that caught her without her signature grin. When the time comes to walk across the stage, she joins us in line for hooding. Right next to me.
“Jo,” I implore, breathless and desperate to make some sort of amends before we never see each other again.
“I heard you and Victoria are both going to Mass Gen,” is her only response.
“Dr. Isaac Britlyn.” The words booming over loudspeakers shove me back into my body, and I take the long walk across the stage, looking back just long enough to see one tear fall from her right eye.
My heart has suffered loss and pain, but nothing has made my whole soul feel as though it’s being ripped from my body quite like seeing that tear.
“Dr. Jocelyn Carello.” She follows closely behind, but I’m ushered off the stage while flashing camera lenses take photos of my half-hearted smile. I should be enjoying today.
I should be reveling in the fact that I did this.
Dad, Liam, and Sam are here to watch me walk across the stage, and I’m more worried about the fact that this is over. I move to Boston on Monday with all my regret packed in a chaotic cardboard box.
This really is the end of Jo and Isaac.